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Sick of the nasty looks!


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12 replies to this topic

#1 mumofenergiserbuny

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:00 PM

DS is 26 months old, he is tall for his age.... 101cm and 18kg.... He isnt fat just very muscly.... When ever we go to the park I am always getting comments and nasty looks fromother mothers about my son. Usually along the lines of "he should know better than to do that at 3" I cant help but look at these women and say "He is 2!!! he is following YOURchilds example!"
Its frustrating and upsetting, DS wants to play with kids his size, but they are all much older than him, they have better speech and are capable of more things than DS, unfortunatly when I do get him playing with kids his own age, he is stronger and taller than them and accidents happen.....
He also has severe Asthma and eczema so we walk to the park in the pram, so he doesnt get puffed out, and he has alot of eczema spots all over him (arms, legs and face) which are very red and occasionally if he has scratched them they have scabs.... When we are at the park, there are times when i have to stop him playing (cue screaming) to force him (at home we dont have a problem) to take his Ventolin, cue morehorrible looks from parents.... I have had parents pull their kids away from DS because of the look of his eczema on his body.... Honestly do they think any parent in their right mind who take their kid to the park with something contagious????
Its at the point where I feel BAD taking my son to the park, he gets ostrasized by the other parents....
Dont know what to do anymore sad.gif



#2 GreenEgg

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:11 PM

Sorry to hear that OP.

If his asthma is so bad he isn't able to walk to the park I'd be visiting your GP. If it is affecting his ability to do normal everyday things he may need extra medication

And I think maybe you are a bit paranoid, but if you feel like parents are pulling yheor children away say to them its excema.

#3 Liadan

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:17 PM

QUOTE (mumofenergiserbuny @ 30/12/2012, 04:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly do they think any parent in their right mind who take their kid to the park with something contagious????


Oh, there are DEFINITELY parents out there who would take their kids to the park KNOWING that they are contagious (doubt they are in their right mind). I'm sure that many of us who ARE in their right minds have taken our kids to parks, etc when they have been contagious BEFORE we knew they were.

My daughter is petite, she looks small for her age (she is also 26 months), but she loves to play with kids of all ages, she is pretty resilient (she has to be, we live with my nephews who are 3 and almost 5), and she can hold her own, so I'd be fine with your son playing with her.

As for the eczema... I can kind of understand that. Can you just explain that it is just eczema, and it is NOT contagious?

#4 mumofenergiserbuny

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:18 PM

he is on steriods and ventolin already, we have another appointment at westmeads soon so hopefully we can figureout something, he gets really hot and short of breath walking the 15mins to the park, so its definatly time for a change in meds...
i am probably being a bit paranoid but it still hurts to see it sad.gif

#5 Feralmummacat

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:53 PM

DS1 has had severe eczema in the past (it is largely under control now) and yes I have had the looks and even people having a go at me for taking him out in public when he is contagious (of course he was not contagious it was just an eczema flare up). It didn't matter what I said they would not accept that it was eczema. Like the team of dermatologist and the immunologist that were treating him were wrong and this random women knew more than them.

I stopped doing a lot of activities because of it, if he got stressed he would scratch more so any new activity he would scratch and people would just give you dirty looks.

DS1 is though the opposite on size he is 5 but wears size 3 so people think he is so much younger than what he is.

I agree with getting your son reassessed for his asthma, DS1 has only had mild asthma and the immunologist was great setting up his action plan.

Totally understand that it hurts to see.

Edited by mummacat, 30 December 2012 - 03:54 PM.


#6 mumofenergiserbuny

Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:04 PM

thanks mammacat, we need to find a new dermatologist but we are about to move (within the next month hopefully) so we will be waiting....
DS is the same, hence his eczema looks horrible now due to spending Christmas around lots of people and kids he didnt know sad.gif
i have tried telling people who comment or pull their children away that is not contagious, that is only eczema but they dont listen...
and its hard to explain to a 2 yr old whats happening.

#7 Alpha_Chook

Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:16 PM

Definitely get the asthmas reassessed....Eamon is asthmatic and can happily walk long distances and will only sit in a pram if he needs a sleep. We have the opposite problem with Eamon though....he is 2 and a 1/2 and can still fit into size 1 shorts....size 2 shorts fall off him unless adjusted to the smallest fit. The looks I get when he has a tantrum are priceless....I even had one lady try to tell me that he must be sick because he's way too young at 1 to have tantrums!!

#8 miinii

Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:33 PM

QUOTE (mumofenergiserbuny @ 30/12/2012, 04:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly do they think any parent in their right mind who take their kid to the park with something contagious????


Unfortunately They do. I was at the play centre a couple of weeks ago for my DD's party and another child there was throwing up ALL OVER THE PLACE. Do you think the mother left? No she let him keep playing and throwing up every 20 or so minutes. Was very frustrating trying to keep my children away from him. He was visibly sick. White as a ghost. My Elder DD goes to school with this kids sister and his sister was away for a whole week with vomiting and all the lovlies that come with Gastro.



#9 greypink

Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:02 PM

QUOTE (mumofenergiserbuny @ 30/12/2012, 04:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DS is 26 months old, he is tall for his age.... 101cm and 18kg.... He isnt fat just very muscly.... When ever we go to the park I am always getting comments and nasty looks fromother mothers about my son. Usually along the lines of "he should know better than to do that at 3" I cant help but look at these women and say "He is 2!!! he is following YOURchilds example!"
Its frustrating and upsetting, DS wants to play with kids his size, but they are all much older than him, they have better speech and are capable of more things than DS, unfortunatly when I do get him playing with kids his own age, he is stronger and taller than them and accidents happen.....

I could have written this part of your post myself, my DS has just turned 3 but we've been having the same problem since he was around 18 months. He is way taller than kids his age and his speech is very good so he is constantly being asked if he's starting school next year!
Over the last year we've had quite a few comments like aren't you to old for the pram, move out of the way and let the younger kids go first etc
I would like to stay don't let it bother you, but I know it does. It's hard not to let other people get you down but at the end of the day I have to just ignore them.
When my DS was about 2.5 I overheard some mums at a new playgroup talking about him saying "gee that little boy is too old to be in nappies, isn't he too old for toddler tantrums etc etc" and it really upset me at the time but then my husband reminded me that in parenting and in life there are always going to be people who judge you or who make assumptions. Even though I know it's easier said than done, I just focus on being the best parent I can and ignoring the looks and snide comments.

#10 caitiri

Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:35 PM

OP it must get very frustrating,  there are parents out there though who would love to have their kids play with yours.  My older DS, a fair few negative experiences but recently we have come across some wonderful kids and parents at playgrounds so they are out there.

Can you try a different playground that might be aimed more at older kids, who often have younger siblings used to playing with bigger children.  

If your not in a playgroup, thats worth a go as it can be a good way to set up some playdates at the playground.

#11 kadoodle

Posted 30 December 2012 - 06:01 PM

My oldest was an exzma kid.  It really, really sucks to have to explain for the eleventy billionth time that no, it's not impetigo, it's not chickenpox, it's not measles.  She's naked because she's got exzma under her nappy and I had to get the bread and milk.  She's in a pram, so her pee won't affect you, so butt out.

#12 GlitterFeralFarts

Posted 30 December 2012 - 06:11 PM

oh, that sux big time OP sad.gif

Maybe there's an EBer nearby you can make friends with and playdates with? I know my 3yr old would always love a new friend around his age f you are in Adelaide biggrin.gif

#13 mumofenergiserbuny

Posted 30 December 2012 - 06:52 PM

thanks everyone, once we move we will try to find a playgroup....
freakypet, we are in sydney at the moment, moving to the central coast soon, and hopefully both the eczema and the asthma will calm down a bit once we arent in the city anymore....





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