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2+ kids and shopping


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#1 Excentrique Feral

Posted 28 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

I find that if I take one child shopping, they are very well behaved and all is well.

But if I take 2 kids shopping, they are both horrible. They run around, lie/crawl on the floor, touch all the merchandise, play with it, run up and down isles, round the racks, under the clothes, wrestle with each other, swing on poles, etc etc.

They are 5 and 7 and I thought by this age they would be starting to settle down. Anyone else have the same issue? How do you deal with it? I've tired bribery but it doesn't help, just means I have to put up with the crying at the end of the shopping trip.

I always try to go out without them, but they are both on holidays until school starts, as the youngest has finished daycare.

I have things to do like going to the bank, ARGH!

#2 mmuc83

Posted 28 December 2012 - 02:59 PM

I give them a "pep" talk before we go in, and basically if you misbehave we go straight home... a few times i have been at the shop for not even 2 minutes and had to get into the car to go home. It is inconvenient, but i had to follow through otherwise they would never listen to me!

Now, thankfully, they are pretty good and immediately stop when i threaten the car! :-)

#3 Rachaelxxx

Posted 28 December 2012 - 03:03 PM

OP I will take my 5 young kids shopping with me and I am pretty firm and I don't know why, but my kids just know that they will get into a lot of trouble if they muck up.   Don't get me wrong, they will have a turn now and then and try and run off and look at things, but I just have to hold a tight ship because if I let one run around, the rest will follow and that's not good  wink.gif

#4 KatakaGeoGirl

Posted 28 December 2012 - 03:09 PM

I have a 6 and 8 year old. I take them shopping often. I still get quite a few verbal I wants, but they don't gets.  

I usually give them a good pep talk before we go in, make it clear what we are or not shopping for, what we will buy (ie sushi, a cone from maccas). They have never been runners though. I don't ever bribe, not for shopping. My kids haven't done the run through racks thing - but I've always been pretty strict about the way they behave when they shop since they could walk by themselves through the shops (probably around 2 they didn't use a pram at all). So I guess just the expectations before we go in. If they did misbehave like that and didn't respond to a stern talking to in the shopping centre, that it'd be out the door in a jiffy, and straight into their rooms when they got home for time out.

#5 mnsr621

Posted 28 December 2012 - 03:09 PM

I also have a 5 and 7 year old and have the same problem, if they behave they get a milkshake or something when we have finished if they don't they get nothing.  They often get nothing so not sure how much help I can be!

#6 Unatheowl

Posted 28 December 2012 - 03:09 PM

I actually avoid taking mine anywhere.  No, I'm not joking.  Mine are 2 and 4 and when I have to do ao grocery shop I take half a Valium original.gif. Problem solved !

#7 snuffles

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:13 PM

Mine are 6, 7 and 9.

I have always been very strict with shopping rules.  But if they do try it on, now that they are old enough to understand future consequences, I can remove all sorts of things, like computer time, TV time, special activities etc.  Each of them has their 'price' and I don't have much trouble with them.  (They still do ask repeatedly for things at times, but my irritated voice usually works.)

(When they were small we we had rules like, if you don't walk nicely next to the pram then you travel IN the pram etc).

#8 liveworkplay

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:15 PM

No Advice. Mine have always been well behaved in public so much so that if all hell was breaking loose at home i would bundle the three of them up and go walk around the shops for some sanity laughing2.gif

#9 Exhaustedbuthappy

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:26 PM

QUOTE (Unatheowl @ 28/12/2012, 03:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I actually avoid taking mine anywhere.  No, I'm not joking.  Mine are 2 and 4 and when I have to do ao grocery shop I take half a Valium original.gif. Problem solved !


please tell me you're not serious about the Valium!

#10 Fr0g

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:35 PM

This is time consuming but ultimately rewarding! Instead of one shopping list you are in control of, whilst wrestling and wrangling the kids; Make 3 lists.

One is your main list with obscure items. You keep this one.

The remaining items are divided into a list for each of your kids. They are in charge of finding what is on each list.

Encourage yout kids to help each other out if they need a hand.

Meaningful responsibility is great for all ages, and can take the misery out of the supermarket.

Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 28 December 2012 - 04:36 PM.


#11 Aribika

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:46 PM

My only 2 words of advice are 'Online Shopping'.  Sorry that's all I've got.

Lorraine

#12 ~Mummy~Mel~

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:52 PM

DS 4yrs acts up no matter wether by himself or with siblings. DD 6 is great, she just loves to help!

#13 Overtherainbow

Posted 28 December 2012 - 04:56 PM

Mine are 6,8 and 10.  I give them jobs to do in the shop.  They love the fruit and veg area.  I have my list and work my way through it delegating items to each child based on ability.  They have become more apt and selecting good quality fruit and veg and I don't have to check quality anymore.

I've found they are usually painful because they see they have your attention and want to make the most of it.  By spending some time together first, his helps.

My guys empty the trolley in my order and pack it back in the trolley at the other end.  They also help put it away at home.

They all get pocket money and know anything they want, they have to pay for so it reduces nagging a lot.

They have to stay with me in the shops though I'm starting to send the older 2 in pairs to pick up some items.

#14 Cath42

Posted 28 December 2012 - 05:02 PM

I actually find it easier to take all four of mine than to only take two. For some reason, when I take all four they behave pretty well. When I only take two, they're awful. Weird.

#15 ~Supernova~

Posted 28 December 2012 - 05:12 PM

At those ages I would be expecting much better behaviour TBH. If DD acted like that, the sh*t would hit the fan. She used to be horrible to take shopping several years ago, and my rule was always if you act up - we leave, no ifs, no buts. I've left a couple of full trolleys behind before (hence why I always do cold last!). I vividly recall one time she threw a huge tantrum, was down on the floor, the works. I picked her up sideways and carried her straight out of there. But I might just be a meanie lol.

What still DOES occur, NON STOP, is the "I wants". They just get ignored. I have acquired an amazing ability to tune out over the years lol.

#16 R2B2

Posted 28 December 2012 - 05:31 PM

Shopping with 3 has killed my sanity. I no longer have the desire to just wander around the shops for a casual browse grin.gif

#17 Froger

Posted 28 December 2012 - 05:41 PM

I have a rule for my younger kids that if they touch anything I do not buy it. So even if I was going to buy it, if one of the kids touch it, I do not buy that thing. Looking is with your eyes only!


#18 luke's mummu

Posted 28 December 2012 - 07:31 PM

Do you really need to go shopping? I will do a quick grocery with 2 kids, but that's all really. Big shop = online shopping or weekends when DH is home. Clothing/homewares etc = weekends only.

#19 Steggles

Posted 28 December 2012 - 07:33 PM

Our mantra is "look with our eyes, don't touch with our hands". We go to the shops usually a couple of times a week.

#20 melaine

Posted 28 December 2012 - 07:44 PM

I have one perfect child at the shops. I delight in taking him. He's never been a runner, even when he was out of the pram at 24 months while I was distracted by a newborn.

My other child though - let's just say I wouldn't have been shopping with him and a newborn! All the things that worked with number 1 (clear expectations, pep talks, following through with leaving etc) fail with him.

He runs, he hides (and he is good at hiding!), he drops to the floor. All I can hope is that he grows out of it! I'm hoping that by the time they are 5 and 7 (currently 3 and 5) they will be easier to take to the shops...

#21 Changes

Posted 28 December 2012 - 07:47 PM

QUOTE (Katakacpk @ 28/12/2012, 03:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My kids haven't done the run through racks thing - but I've always been pretty strict about the way they behave when they shop since they could walk by themselves through the shops (probably around 2 they didn't use a pram at all). So I guess just the expectations before we go in. If they did misbehave like that and didn't respond to a stern talking to in the shopping centre, that it'd be out the door in a jiffy, and straight into their rooms when they got home for time out.


Mine are 3.5 and 1.5 and this is how I am now with them, we rarely use the pram and the worst I get is that DS will stop and look at things for a LONG time.  DD did a runner once at about 1.5yo and the next time she wore a backpack leash.  Never did a runner again.  DS has never done a runner.

I never bribe, they behave or they don't go.  They always want to come. (So I guess that is a bribe).

They also like to help so DD gets a trolley at the supermarket, the both get a wheeled basket at the fruit shop (it's never got more than one or two other shoppers so we don't bother others).  They behave because they want some of the fruit and veg in their baskets.

#22 glasnost

Posted 28 December 2012 - 07:55 PM

I so hear you OP! My mum grew up in the country and has a theory that children are a bit like dogs- on their own they willl behave however put two or more together and you have trouble. My kids are a walking talking example of the pack mentality theory.

I don't have any advice other than to avoid it at all costs!

#23 **Tiger*Feral**

Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:30 PM

----

Edited by Tyrone Finkelmeyer, 26 March 2013 - 08:41 PM.


#24 Excentrique Feral

Posted 28 December 2012 - 09:03 PM

I have removed them from the shops for tantrums in the past. So they don't throw tantrums in the shop, they just act like a pair of monkeys. They think shops are their playground.

I am constantly giving pep talks, growling at them, I often sound like an army drill sargent, it doesn't work. I've put them on the naughty chair once home. I've involved them in as much of the shopping as I can by letting them choose which type of item they prefer, etc. Nothing works!

They are just embarrassing.  sad.gif

#25 Spa Gonk

Posted 28 December 2012 - 09:13 PM

I hear you.  I can manage one kid and the baby fine, but the two kid thing is difficult.  With mine, on their own they know how to behave.  But fall into the pack mentality when together.  If one does anything remotely wrong, the other copies too as they think they can get away with it.  They probably know it is harder to manage two.  

I had shopping sussed but now it is school holidays, really need to brave it.  Currently have hardly any food in the house and to a relative to bring me milk today!




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