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Card/present WDYT

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#1 happy2bme

Posted 27 December 2012 - 06:23 PM

Just wondering what other families do ........

DH has 3 brothers only 1 of which has children (4 kids).  I always send birthday cards to the children & Xmas presents.  They never send birthday cards or acknowledge our kids birthdays at all & hardly ever buy Xmas gifts.  Now this doesn't bother me too much cause I feel like I am doing the right thing so just carry on doing so however DH thinks that I shouldn't bother & given it is his family should I respect his thoughts on this?   I did send Xmas gifts this year that dh didn't know about until yesterday & I felt bad hiding it.

What do you think ...........?

#2 Bomber girl

Posted 27 December 2012 - 06:26 PM

I would still send them..

#3 rabbit hyde

Posted 27 December 2012 - 06:30 PM

I wouldn't bother sending cards or gifts to people who don't appear to appreciate them, especially if it was only going to create tension with my partner.  

If it's his family, he knows them well enough to know whether it's worth bothering with or not.

#4 emelsy

Posted 27 December 2012 - 06:38 PM

I am your husbands family!!! My 2 SILs send Xmas presents to my DS and I don't send anything. I felt bad the first year so I called and explained that our family is very loving but we don't really do gifts unless we're spending the birthday/holiday with the person.
They both said that's fine but in their family sending presents is what they do. So, we get a present for DS and just call them and say thank you.

#5 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 December 2012 - 06:52 PM

I'd stop sending gifts. If they don't even have the good manners to thank you then I wouldn't bother sending them. It's one thing to not send anything back,it another to not even acknowledge the gift.

#6 Etcetera

Posted 28 December 2012 - 10:25 AM

I'd stop giving gifts.

#7 Phascogale

Posted 28 December 2012 - 10:29 AM

I also wouldn't bother sending any gifts.  Doesn't sound like they care.

If your husband didn't say what he said then I may have considered continuing to send them if I felt it was the right thing to do.  But as he doesn't want you to and it's his family, I would respect that.

If they comment about it ie 'Where are the kids gifts?' then your comment back would be, 'In the same place the presents you sent our kids are!'

#8 Elizabethandfriend

Posted 28 December 2012 - 10:32 AM

My DH is in his late 30s and continues to get birthday presents from his aunts and uncles and we never reciprocate.  We see these people maybe twice a year and I see no point in the ongoing gifts.  I have no idea when their birthdays are and neither does DH.   I wish they would stop giving him things.   Its kind of embarrassing.

#9 Cat People

Posted 28 December 2012 - 10:48 AM

We have a nephew overseas (dh's side) who we send gifts to.  His mother never sends anything for ours or acknowledges their births either (no I'm not bitter!).  I still send gifts though as we've always done it in our family and it feel wrong not to.

#10 Aruneh

Posted 28 December 2012 - 10:54 AM

I wouldn't bother. Especially since your dh doesn't want you to. They sound rude.

#11 CountryFeral

Posted 28 December 2012 - 11:05 AM

Keep sending cards.

Are your kids involved?  I know my nephews love choosing, making and sending cards and presents to their 2 very extended cousins.

Neither I nor my BILs two siblings have children so the two children in the family (the offspring of their Mum's first cousins) are very exciting for them. (in spite of living many states apart)

If you enjoy sending cards and gifts then keep it up, if you don't or the lack of response is giving you the poops then stop.

Keep sending cards.

Are your kids involved?  I know my nephews love choosing, making and sending cards and presents to their 2 very extended cousins.

Neither I nor my BILs two siblings have children so the two children in the family (the offspring of their Mum's first cousins) are very exciting for them. (in spite of living many states apart)

If you enjoy sending cards and gifts then keep it up, if you don't or the lack of response is giving you the poops then stop.

#12 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 28 December 2012 - 11:32 AM

We used to.
Then when our first child was born and her birth wasn't even acknowledged with a single card or phone call, we got the hint and stopped.

Not a word about it has been mentioned. Not that we know anyway.

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