Jump to content

Asking a teenager to contribute to a family holiday
Not sure if it's the right thing to do...


  • Please log in to reply
297 replies to this topic

#1 Twinmum+2

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:01 AM

We have a family holiday planned early next year to the Gold Coast, involving flights, accommodation and theme park entry costs.  DH has decided that DD2 (15 years old, who has a job and earns between $50 - $100 a week depending on her shifts) should contribute to the holiday (around $300 altogether) by paying for her part of the flights and theme park entry.  His reasoning is that she is the one who will get the most enjoyment out of the theme parks and rides etc, and that she 'has nothing else to spend her money on anyway', and as the money is a little bit tight for the trip that it would be good to have some help with it.

Is this something you would expect your teenage working children to help out with?  My first thought was that being a family holiday it should be paid for by us, the parents, and if she wanted extra spending money etc she could fund that herself.  I can understand his point of view, I guess, I'm just not convinced it's the right thing to do.  Any ideas?

#2 peewee

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:05 AM

I think it's a bit mean actually.  What if she says no? Is she not allowed to come?

#3 Ange

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:05 AM

There is no way I'd make one of my children pay if they weren't all required to do so, regardless of age.
If it's a family holiday that was planned by us, I wouldn't expect any of my children to HAVE to pay their way to attend sad.gif

If she wants to save extra spending money so she can do a few extras, then great! She shouldn't have to pay for things that everyone else gets supplied IMO.

#4 Bomber girl

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:06 AM

I agree with Madame Catty. If you can't afford the holiday with all of your children stay home or go somewhere else

#5 ~Nodnol~

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:06 AM

The only thing I would expect her to contribute is spending money above what you have allocated for all the children. I don't think it's fair to make her pay accommodation etc, no.



#6 Holidayromp

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

I never had to pay for family holidays when I was working but they were not the theme park style holiday either.
Also if your 15yo is to be expected to pay ther way expect them also to decline to go so do you have alternative plans for someone to keep an eye on them - I don't think a 15yo should be left to their own devices at home.
Have you discussed this with your 15yo?  I would be very po if my parent's suddenly decided that I should have to pay my way when I had not been warned of this fact.

#7 ChunkyChook

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

First thought is no, she shouldn't have to pay but I guess it depends. What does she do with the money she earns each week?

I am all for helping them if they are helping themselves. If she is saving some money and really having a go at doing the right thing then you should pay. If she is the opposite then she should contribute.



#8 ~~HappyMummy~~

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:08 AM

I think it's a bit mean.  She should use her money as spending money - she's only 15.

#9 Mianta

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:08 AM

Spending money, yes, she should contribute to that. Flights and accomodation, no. That is a bit mean. Sorry op.

#10 Tigerdog

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:08 AM

I'm with you OP, she's only 15, 3 years yet off even being an adult.  I'd only get her to bring her own spending money then pay for everything else.  If as parents can't afford to take the kids there then take them somewhere cheaper.

#11 Holidayromp

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:08 AM

As a compromise I wouldn't be giving her spending money....she can fund that herself.

#12 Expelliarmus

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:09 AM

No. If it's a (nuclear) family holiday then it's paid for by the parents. Her money is for her to spend. I wouldn't expect a child to pay part of their own way until about 18. Until then they are still a child and still learning how to handle their money.

#13 Therese

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:09 AM

I wouldn't be asking her to contribute financially to a family holiday. When my girls are teenagers I want them to want to come on family holidays not to feel annoyed about them before we even get there.



#14 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:09 AM

She's 15. It's mean. Having her own spending money is perfectly reasonable, but having to contribute to a family holiday is not.

#15 Unatheowl

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:09 AM

Personally I wouldn't expect my kids to pay for a family holiday.  My mum or dad still insist on paying for me and my family when they invite us to go away.  I realise that not everyone does this though.  I wouldn't ask a 15 yo to pay, no.

#16 CupOfCoffee

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:10 AM

We are going to Melbourne in January with our 14 year old (with a p/t job) son and I had never even thought about asking him to pay anything.

If it was a holiday only he was going on, I would get him to pay for some, but it is a family holiday so I wouldn't expect them to pay (it is kind of what family holidays are, parents paying and doing activities all members will get enjoyment out of).

If he really thinks that you DD2 should pay something, maybe if she wants any specific activities she could pay those.

#17 Twinmum+2

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:10 AM

Just to clarify, the only other kids coming along are 5 years old, so they aren't contributing for obvious reasons.  I know DH was just trying to find a way to make it more affordable, and if she said no I think she would probably just end up coming anyway.  He knows I don't really agree with it so maybe he'll change his mind later...

Also, the amount he asked her to contribute covered her flights and theme park entry.  Accommodation is covered... not that I guess it makes much difference... and he discussed it with her before he booked anything.

Edited by Twinmum+2, 27 December 2012 - 09:15 AM.


#18 Chchgirl

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:14 AM

No, she is still my child and her small earnings for one day a week's work is hers. When she leaves school, completes her apprenticeship and is all grown up, then she can contribute.

Until then she is still a kid..and my responsibility!

#19 Holidayromp

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:16 AM

QUOTE (Twinmum+2 @ 27/12/2012, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just to clarify, the only other kids coming along are 5 years old, so they aren't contributing for obvious reasons.  I know DH was just trying to find a way to make it more affordable, and if she said no I think she would probably just end up coming anyway.  He knows I don't really agree with it so maybe he'll change his mind later...


I think her nose will be out of joint then and made to feel awful that she is now 'bludging on the family holiday' she is going to feel like a third wheel/outsider.

It is best you don't put her in the position of saying no at all.

#20 Oriental lily

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:16 AM

Yes it's mean.
She is earning enough for a bit of pocket money to spend. But her little job is hardly enough that she needs to contribute to living or family activity costs.

Your dhs expectations are far to high.

#21 JRA

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:16 AM

No way.

#22 José

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:16 AM

I think it's terribly mean. There's a good chance that will ruin the mood of the vacation before you even go. Agree with those that said if you can't afford it don't go! If money is really tight perhaps you can start talking with ur child about additional personal expenses they will take on but I think that needs to be a negotiation.

#23 Twinmum+2

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:16 AM

I was really hoping you were all going to say "of course that's fine, we all do that...".

Bugger...

I'm terribly non-confrontational and not good at standing up for myself usually.  So I was hoping I wouldn't have to...

Edited by Twinmum+2, 27 December 2012 - 09:18 AM.


#24 Maple Leaf

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:17 AM

She should have her own spending money, but the rest, no.

Do you make her pay towards room and board as well?


#25 lovingmother

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:17 AM

I would say no it a family holiday so the parents should be paying. If the 15 year old child said no does that mean she can stay at home? I would think not.

So If the parents want to take a  family holiday then the parents should pay for it. But spending money at the parks and shopping centres then she can fund that her self.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.