Jump to content

Do you feel pressure?
Now that you've told?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

My partner and I told everyone about our pregnancy on Christmas day (we are 13.5 weeks), and I told work as I am starting to show a little. Everyone was so excited, and once the cat was out of the bag, the news spread like wildfire.

I guess everyone had to find out eventually, you can't keep it a secret forever, but I just feel like i'm under so much pressure now that i've told. I mean, if you have a miscarriage now, EVERYONE will know. My aunt, second cousin, that girl at work I dislike... I feel so much pressure to cook this baby up nice and healthy.

I've told everyone I want to keep it off facebook, and hopefully they'll respect that, because I feel like the goings on in my uterus are already public enough knowledge; I don't need my friend's ex boyfriend, that guy I went to school with, and my second cousin's girlfriend etc to know what's going on in my private life. Sure, when I have bub I will want to show pictures to the world, but until then I feel a little bit uncomfortable about all this attention being paid to my lady bits.

I'm very much missing the privacy that my poochy little tummy had when this was all a secret sad.gif

#2 José

Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:02 AM

I told close friends and family at about 13 weeks but didn't tell work and wider circle until 20 weeks. Lucky with the right clothes no one could tell. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and a  friend had recently had a stillborn baby. It did cross my mind how hard it would be if things didn't end well. Also I didn't mind people commenting on my pregnancy but I didn't enjoy having people I barely knew talking to me about birth, their placenta etc etc.

#3 .MrsM.

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:01 AM

i get what you mean.

i told my family at about 6wks then had to tell work at 8wks as i was so sick. all were instructed not to mention anything to anyone or facebook anything. i was paranoid something would go wrong after just having had a miscarriage.

after the 12wk scan i told a few more close friends, but it was only after a 19wk scan that i put something on fb. people were shocked that we had managed to keep it so quite until then, most had no idea! it was nice to have that time before all those extended groups of friends knew.

#4 caroldiem

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:31 AM

We are not announcing at all after having a stillbirth there is no safe zone for us there are only a few that know my parents, my sister and unfortunately my hubby let it slip when talking to my MIL fortunately she is good at keeping secrets.....

I know i have already faced the worst possible case scenario so i am not scared as such of something going wrong because i know what to expect but i really don't want to go through it again.....

My MIL actually asked me on Christmas Day when am i announcing it and i just turned to her and whispered "NEVER"

#5 Natttmumm

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:56 AM

We had a health scare with this baby at 12 weeks so we kept it to ourselves until 18 weeks when i thought it was really obvious. Even then people hadn't guessed. Even when I told people it wasn't everyone. I'm 32 weeks and some people are just finding out now.
I do understand how you feel!!
I guess you need to look at like this.....if something went wrong its nothing to be ashamed of so does it matter if everyone knows.

#6 Rolex

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:29 PM

We announced on Christmas Day, too, but no I don't feel pressure, despite having 3 previous miscarriages.  Not from friends and relatives anyway.  They would all be there for me if the worst was to happen.

I haven't announced on FB yet, purely because there are a couple of close friends I'd like to catch up with in person yet.  But it will be on there soon.

The only people I am feeling that pressure for, is my kids.  They are the only ones I'd be really worried about if something happened to this baby now.  We only told them on Christmas Eve at 13 weeks, and they are so excited.  They'd be devastated if the baby didn't eventuate.  My youngest is 7, so yes they do understand what's going on.

#7 mused

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:47 PM

I told friends from about 9 weeks. Parents and some close friends new from when I POAS. I don't feel pressure as such as I think most people will be supportive. I have my NT scan tomorrow and hope everything will be okay.

I was trying not to tell people but wasn't able to keep it a secret. Useless.

#9 secret~sammy

Posted 27 December 2012 - 03:05 PM

Yeah, I know how you feel – There was a death in the family when I was 10 weeks, so once we told family at 13 weeks later there was all the pressure of it being the ‘circle of life’ baby, and I think it would have extra devastating (if there is such a thing) if anything had happened..

That, and just the feeling of being public property because I’m pregnant irritates me, I liked those first 13 weeks (15 for work people) when it was our little secret.


#10 Koobie83

Posted 27 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

I told my family at 6 - in laws at 12 - work at 13..  Had a small bleed at 14 and haven't announced anything on Facebook. I've told my closest friends but haven't posted anything specific on Facebook. After the bleed I'm cautious about telling too much just in case...

#11 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

QUOTE (mused @ 27/12/2012, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

Oh! I didnt know this. I worry a little whenever I see myself mentioned... I will be changing it original.gif

and thanks ladies, nice to know i'm not alone original.gif

#12 Mine Site Wife

Posted 28 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

We announced on Christmas day too (at 12 1/2 weeks) I am terrified something will go wrong as we miscarried earlier this year. My husband was also desperate to facebook it so that has been done as well. Now I am just waiting for the NT scan (new years eve) to make sure everything is going fine, but will continue to worry until they tell me everthing is good then. I am yet to tell work and am not planning to until about 16 weeks (longer if im not showing) thinking about looking into wether or not I can get a personal doppler... maybe hearing it whenever i want to will put my mind at ease and help me to relax and enjoy




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Two children who were given to the wrong families at birth will soon learn if they will be returned to their biological parents.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.