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Do you feel pressure?
Now that you've told?

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11 replies to this topic

#1 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

My partner and I told everyone about our pregnancy on Christmas day (we are 13.5 weeks), and I told work as I am starting to show a little. Everyone was so excited, and once the cat was out of the bag, the news spread like wildfire.

I guess everyone had to find out eventually, you can't keep it a secret forever, but I just feel like i'm under so much pressure now that i've told. I mean, if you have a miscarriage now, EVERYONE will know. My aunt, second cousin, that girl at work I dislike... I feel so much pressure to cook this baby up nice and healthy.

I've told everyone I want to keep it off facebook, and hopefully they'll respect that, because I feel like the goings on in my uterus are already public enough knowledge; I don't need my friend's ex boyfriend, that guy I went to school with, and my second cousin's girlfriend etc to know what's going on in my private life. Sure, when I have bub I will want to show pictures to the world, but until then I feel a little bit uncomfortable about all this attention being paid to my lady bits.

I'm very much missing the privacy that my poochy little tummy had when this was all a secret sad.gif

#2 José

Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:02 AM

I told close friends and family at about 13 weeks but didn't tell work and wider circle until 20 weeks. Lucky with the right clothes no one could tell. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and a  friend had recently had a stillborn baby. It did cross my mind how hard it would be if things didn't end well. Also I didn't mind people commenting on my pregnancy but I didn't enjoy having people I barely knew talking to me about birth, their placenta etc etc.

#3 .MrsM.

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:01 AM

i get what you mean.

i told my family at about 6wks then had to tell work at 8wks as i was so sick. all were instructed not to mention anything to anyone or facebook anything. i was paranoid something would go wrong after just having had a miscarriage.

after the 12wk scan i told a few more close friends, but it was only after a 19wk scan that i put something on fb. people were shocked that we had managed to keep it so quite until then, most had no idea! it was nice to have that time before all those extended groups of friends knew.

#4 caroldiem

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:31 AM

We are not announcing at all after having a stillbirth there is no safe zone for us there are only a few that know my parents, my sister and unfortunately my hubby let it slip when talking to my MIL fortunately she is good at keeping secrets.....

I know i have already faced the worst possible case scenario so i am not scared as such of something going wrong because i know what to expect but i really don't want to go through it again.....

My MIL actually asked me on Christmas Day when am i announcing it and i just turned to her and whispered "NEVER"

#5 Natttmumm

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:56 AM

We had a health scare with this baby at 12 weeks so we kept it to ourselves until 18 weeks when i thought it was really obvious. Even then people hadn't guessed. Even when I told people it wasn't everyone. I'm 32 weeks and some people are just finding out now.
I do understand how you feel!!
I guess you need to look at like this.....if something went wrong its nothing to be ashamed of so does it matter if everyone knows.

#6 Rolex

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:29 PM

We announced on Christmas Day, too, but no I don't feel pressure, despite having 3 previous miscarriages.  Not from friends and relatives anyway.  They would all be there for me if the worst was to happen.

I haven't announced on FB yet, purely because there are a couple of close friends I'd like to catch up with in person yet.  But it will be on there soon.

The only people I am feeling that pressure for, is my kids.  They are the only ones I'd be really worried about if something happened to this baby now.  We only told them on Christmas Eve at 13 weeks, and they are so excited.  They'd be devastated if the baby didn't eventuate.  My youngest is 7, so yes they do understand what's going on.

#7 mused

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:47 PM

I told friends from about 9 weeks. Parents and some close friends new from when I POAS. I don't feel pressure as such as I think most people will be supportive. I have my NT scan tomorrow and hope everything will be okay.

I was trying not to tell people but wasn't able to keep it a secret. Useless.

#9 secret~sammy

Posted 27 December 2012 - 03:05 PM

Yeah, I know how you feel – There was a death in the family when I was 10 weeks, so once we told family at 13 weeks later there was all the pressure of it being the ‘circle of life’ baby, and I think it would have extra devastating (if there is such a thing) if anything had happened..

That, and just the feeling of being public property because I’m pregnant irritates me, I liked those first 13 weeks (15 for work people) when it was our little secret.

#10 Koobie83

Posted 27 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

I told my family at 6 - in laws at 12 - work at 13..  Had a small bleed at 14 and haven't announced anything on Facebook. I've told my closest friends but haven't posted anything specific on Facebook. After the bleed I'm cautious about telling too much just in case...

#11 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

QUOTE (mused @ 27/12/2012, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

Oh! I didnt know this. I worry a little whenever I see myself mentioned... I will be changing it original.gif

and thanks ladies, nice to know i'm not alone original.gif

#12 Mine Site Wife

Posted 28 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

We announced on Christmas day too (at 12 1/2 weeks) I am terrified something will go wrong as we miscarried earlier this year. My husband was also desperate to facebook it so that has been done as well. Now I am just waiting for the NT scan (new years eve) to make sure everything is going fine, but will continue to worry until they tell me everthing is good then. I am yet to tell work and am not planning to until about 16 weeks (longer if im not showing) thinking about looking into wether or not I can get a personal doppler... maybe hearing it whenever i want to will put my mind at ease and help me to relax and enjoy

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