Jump to content

Do you feel pressure?
Now that you've told?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

My partner and I told everyone about our pregnancy on Christmas day (we are 13.5 weeks), and I told work as I am starting to show a little. Everyone was so excited, and once the cat was out of the bag, the news spread like wildfire.

I guess everyone had to find out eventually, you can't keep it a secret forever, but I just feel like i'm under so much pressure now that i've told. I mean, if you have a miscarriage now, EVERYONE will know. My aunt, second cousin, that girl at work I dislike... I feel so much pressure to cook this baby up nice and healthy.

I've told everyone I want to keep it off facebook, and hopefully they'll respect that, because I feel like the goings on in my uterus are already public enough knowledge; I don't need my friend's ex boyfriend, that guy I went to school with, and my second cousin's girlfriend etc to know what's going on in my private life. Sure, when I have bub I will want to show pictures to the world, but until then I feel a little bit uncomfortable about all this attention being paid to my lady bits.

I'm very much missing the privacy that my poochy little tummy had when this was all a secret sad.gif

#2 José

Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:02 AM

I told close friends and family at about 13 weeks but didn't tell work and wider circle until 20 weeks. Lucky with the right clothes no one could tell. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and a  friend had recently had a stillborn baby. It did cross my mind how hard it would be if things didn't end well. Also I didn't mind people commenting on my pregnancy but I didn't enjoy having people I barely knew talking to me about birth, their placenta etc etc.

#3 .MrsM.

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:01 AM

i get what you mean.

i told my family at about 6wks then had to tell work at 8wks as i was so sick. all were instructed not to mention anything to anyone or facebook anything. i was paranoid something would go wrong after just having had a miscarriage.

after the 12wk scan i told a few more close friends, but it was only after a 19wk scan that i put something on fb. people were shocked that we had managed to keep it so quite until then, most had no idea! it was nice to have that time before all those extended groups of friends knew.

#4 caroldiem

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:31 AM

We are not announcing at all after having a stillbirth there is no safe zone for us there are only a few that know my parents, my sister and unfortunately my hubby let it slip when talking to my MIL fortunately she is good at keeping secrets.....

I know i have already faced the worst possible case scenario so i am not scared as such of something going wrong because i know what to expect but i really don't want to go through it again.....

My MIL actually asked me on Christmas Day when am i announcing it and i just turned to her and whispered "NEVER"

#5 Natttmumm

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:56 AM

We had a health scare with this baby at 12 weeks so we kept it to ourselves until 18 weeks when i thought it was really obvious. Even then people hadn't guessed. Even when I told people it wasn't everyone. I'm 32 weeks and some people are just finding out now.
I do understand how you feel!!
I guess you need to look at like this.....if something went wrong its nothing to be ashamed of so does it matter if everyone knows.

#6 Rolex

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:29 PM

We announced on Christmas Day, too, but no I don't feel pressure, despite having 3 previous miscarriages.  Not from friends and relatives anyway.  They would all be there for me if the worst was to happen.

I haven't announced on FB yet, purely because there are a couple of close friends I'd like to catch up with in person yet.  But it will be on there soon.

The only people I am feeling that pressure for, is my kids.  They are the only ones I'd be really worried about if something happened to this baby now.  We only told them on Christmas Eve at 13 weeks, and they are so excited.  They'd be devastated if the baby didn't eventuate.  My youngest is 7, so yes they do understand what's going on.

#7 mused

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:47 PM

I told friends from about 9 weeks. Parents and some close friends new from when I POAS. I don't feel pressure as such as I think most people will be supportive. I have my NT scan tomorrow and hope everything will be okay.

I was trying not to tell people but wasn't able to keep it a secret. Useless.

#9 secret~sammy

Posted 27 December 2012 - 03:05 PM

Yeah, I know how you feel – There was a death in the family when I was 10 weeks, so once we told family at 13 weeks later there was all the pressure of it being the ‘circle of life’ baby, and I think it would have extra devastating (if there is such a thing) if anything had happened..

That, and just the feeling of being public property because I’m pregnant irritates me, I liked those first 13 weeks (15 for work people) when it was our little secret.


#10 Koobie83

Posted 27 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

I told my family at 6 - in laws at 12 - work at 13..  Had a small bleed at 14 and haven't announced anything on Facebook. I've told my closest friends but haven't posted anything specific on Facebook. After the bleed I'm cautious about telling too much just in case...

#11 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

QUOTE (mused @ 27/12/2012, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

Oh! I didnt know this. I worry a little whenever I see myself mentioned... I will be changing it original.gif

and thanks ladies, nice to know i'm not alone original.gif

#12 Mine Site Wife

Posted 28 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

We announced on Christmas day too (at 12 1/2 weeks) I am terrified something will go wrong as we miscarried earlier this year. My husband was also desperate to facebook it so that has been done as well. Now I am just waiting for the NT scan (new years eve) to make sure everything is going fine, but will continue to worry until they tell me everthing is good then. I am yet to tell work and am not planning to until about 16 weeks (longer if im not showing) thinking about looking into wether or not I can get a personal doppler... maybe hearing it whenever i want to will put my mind at ease and help me to relax and enjoy




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a copy of 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

To celebrate the launch of EB member and contributor Julia's Watson's first book, we have five copies of Breakfast, School Run, Chemo give away.

Electronic tags may keep newborns safe

The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital. 

Baby steps: when your little one starts walking

As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.

Julia Watson's new book 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.

How not to name twins

Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.

Fun Sunny Life pool inflatables just for babies

The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.

Breastfeeding basics for beginners

Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.

Girl smothers baby brother with peanut butter

This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.

How to hide those under eye shadows

Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.

Young mum dies after being denied pap smear

A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.

Birthday cakes banned at childcare centre

A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.

Triplet surprise for newlyweds

As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.

3 yummy Thermomix baby and toddler recipes

Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.

Man arrested over toddler Nikki's death

A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.

Adoption ban on pregnant women to be lifted

Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.

Are you getting enough magnesium?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Mums to follow on Instagram

A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dad bags: 10 picks for out and about

Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's?

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Designer kids clothing good enough to eat by Oeuf

Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGO DUPLO Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.