Jump to content

Do you feel pressure?
Now that you've told?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

My partner and I told everyone about our pregnancy on Christmas day (we are 13.5 weeks), and I told work as I am starting to show a little. Everyone was so excited, and once the cat was out of the bag, the news spread like wildfire.

I guess everyone had to find out eventually, you can't keep it a secret forever, but I just feel like i'm under so much pressure now that i've told. I mean, if you have a miscarriage now, EVERYONE will know. My aunt, second cousin, that girl at work I dislike... I feel so much pressure to cook this baby up nice and healthy.

I've told everyone I want to keep it off facebook, and hopefully they'll respect that, because I feel like the goings on in my uterus are already public enough knowledge; I don't need my friend's ex boyfriend, that guy I went to school with, and my second cousin's girlfriend etc to know what's going on in my private life. Sure, when I have bub I will want to show pictures to the world, but until then I feel a little bit uncomfortable about all this attention being paid to my lady bits.

I'm very much missing the privacy that my poochy little tummy had when this was all a secret sad.gif

#2 José

Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:02 AM

I told close friends and family at about 13 weeks but didn't tell work and wider circle until 20 weeks. Lucky with the right clothes no one could tell. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and a  friend had recently had a stillborn baby. It did cross my mind how hard it would be if things didn't end well. Also I didn't mind people commenting on my pregnancy but I didn't enjoy having people I barely knew talking to me about birth, their placenta etc etc.

#3 .MrsM.

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:01 AM

i get what you mean.

i told my family at about 6wks then had to tell work at 8wks as i was so sick. all were instructed not to mention anything to anyone or facebook anything. i was paranoid something would go wrong after just having had a miscarriage.

after the 12wk scan i told a few more close friends, but it was only after a 19wk scan that i put something on fb. people were shocked that we had managed to keep it so quite until then, most had no idea! it was nice to have that time before all those extended groups of friends knew.

#4 caroldiem

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:31 AM

We are not announcing at all after having a stillbirth there is no safe zone for us there are only a few that know my parents, my sister and unfortunately my hubby let it slip when talking to my MIL fortunately she is good at keeping secrets.....

I know i have already faced the worst possible case scenario so i am not scared as such of something going wrong because i know what to expect but i really don't want to go through it again.....

My MIL actually asked me on Christmas Day when am i announcing it and i just turned to her and whispered "NEVER"

#5 Natttmumm

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:56 AM

We had a health scare with this baby at 12 weeks so we kept it to ourselves until 18 weeks when i thought it was really obvious. Even then people hadn't guessed. Even when I told people it wasn't everyone. I'm 32 weeks and some people are just finding out now.
I do understand how you feel!!
I guess you need to look at like this.....if something went wrong its nothing to be ashamed of so does it matter if everyone knows.

#6 Rolex

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:29 PM

We announced on Christmas Day, too, but no I don't feel pressure, despite having 3 previous miscarriages.  Not from friends and relatives anyway.  They would all be there for me if the worst was to happen.

I haven't announced on FB yet, purely because there are a couple of close friends I'd like to catch up with in person yet.  But it will be on there soon.

The only people I am feeling that pressure for, is my kids.  They are the only ones I'd be really worried about if something happened to this baby now.  We only told them on Christmas Eve at 13 weeks, and they are so excited.  They'd be devastated if the baby didn't eventuate.  My youngest is 7, so yes they do understand what's going on.

#7 mused

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

#8 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 December 2012 - 12:47 PM

I told friends from about 9 weeks. Parents and some close friends new from when I POAS. I don't feel pressure as such as I think most people will be supportive. I have my NT scan tomorrow and hope everything will be okay.

I was trying not to tell people but wasn't able to keep it a secret. Useless.

#9 secret~sammy

Posted 27 December 2012 - 03:05 PM

Yeah, I know how you feel – There was a death in the family when I was 10 weeks, so once we told family at 13 weeks later there was all the pressure of it being the ‘circle of life’ baby, and I think it would have extra devastating (if there is such a thing) if anything had happened..

That, and just the feeling of being public property because I’m pregnant irritates me, I liked those first 13 weeks (15 for work people) when it was our little secret.


#10 Koobie83

Posted 27 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

I told my family at 6 - in laws at 12 - work at 13..  Had a small bleed at 14 and haven't announced anything on Facebook. I've told my closest friends but haven't posted anything specific on Facebook. After the bleed I'm cautious about telling too much just in case...

#11 RellBell

Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

QUOTE (mused @ 27/12/2012, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you're worried about it being mentioned on Facebook, you can set your privacy settings so that everything posted to your wall has to be approved by you first, that way you can filter anything you'd prefer not to have up there. I haven't had any experience with miscarriage or stillbirth myself but am generally quite a private person so that's what I've done.

Oh! I didnt know this. I worry a little whenever I see myself mentioned... I will be changing it original.gif

and thanks ladies, nice to know i'm not alone original.gif

#12 Mine Site Wife

Posted 28 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

We announced on Christmas day too (at 12 1/2 weeks) I am terrified something will go wrong as we miscarried earlier this year. My husband was also desperate to facebook it so that has been done as well. Now I am just waiting for the NT scan (new years eve) to make sure everything is going fine, but will continue to worry until they tell me everthing is good then. I am yet to tell work and am not planning to until about 16 weeks (longer if im not showing) thinking about looking into wether or not I can get a personal doppler... maybe hearing it whenever i want to will put my mind at ease and help me to relax and enjoy




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.