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What age for sleepovers?

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#1 lunargirl

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:50 PM

Slight spinoff, I guess.

DD1 is 7.5, about to go into Yr 2. DD2 is a year younger, about to go into Yr 1.

Neither of them has EVER had a sleepover with friends. (We don't have "sleepover-ready" family - no handy grandparents, aunts/uncles etc).

They are 100% ready for a sleepover. I'm 100% fine about it. But whenever I gently raise the topic with friends (their friends' parents), they all look horrified and say that they are WAY too young.

At what age is a sleepover OK these days? My kids don't wet the bed, very rarely have nightmares, are pretty well behaved on the whole  unsure.gif  

When did your children start the sleepover thing? Do I mix in overly protective circles?

(On a related note: late nights, I remember going to dinner parties with my parents as a child, falling asleep on a bed and my Dad carrying me to the car to take me home. Does noone do that anymore? Do we all really rush home at 8pm, or get a babysitter so our kids can have a normal routine when we go out?)

Am I living in the 70s?  ohmy.gif

#2 JRA

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:52 PM

I think DS went on his first at somewhere around 4 or 5.

We also have no family etc

#3 Kafkaesque

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:53 PM

My kids had sleep overs from about 6. Everyone I know sends kids on sleepovers.

We also don't rush off if out late the kids just have a late night.

#4 LynnyP

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:55 PM

My daughter started having friends around for a sleepover and going around for a sleepover at around 6.  They are all 8 now and she had a sleepover at one girl's house last holidays that was her first sleepover and is going for another next week that is that girls first sleepover.  We have taken two girls away on holidays with us at different times too.

#5 Illiterati

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:56 PM

My kids starting having sleepovers with kids from school from about age of 6 - grade 1.

#6 Expelliarmus

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:57 PM

With non family I think about 6 or 7. I do know lots of people who are very precious about it, yes but we found a few who are uber cool with it - thankfully.

#7 katrina24

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:57 PM

We had a couple of DDs friends come here last year (kinder) but I didn't let DD go until this year (yr1).  I had to know both parents and have been to their house before. I found her friends who had older siblings were more keen on sleep overs and their parents were more relaxed as they had 'been there done that' before.

#8 KnightsofNi

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:58 PM

My DD is 4.5, I would let her go to a sleepover with a select few of her friends where I know a parent reasonably well. I would be ready to pick her up at any time though.

#9 Chchgirl

Posted 26 December 2012 - 08:59 PM

Whenever they are ready..my 11 year old hasn't had one but her friends don't do it yet, she was probably ready at 5 !

My oldest will be 15 next year and only went on her first camp at the beginning of year 8 this year and only started having sleepovers last year as she just wasn't ready. She really is just a homebody and prefers her own creature comforts, and happily admits it! I often have her friends over here for sleepovers.

#10 Jjbeanz

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:02 PM

We started around age 7-8 for our kids but if I was friends with their parents then from around 5

#11 Tealdash

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:04 PM

DD was 7 when she went for her first sleepover... biggrin.gif

#12 Just Another Cat

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:06 PM

DD had her first sleepover recently, she is 3. It was with a friend who lives a street away.

#13 liveworkplay

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:07 PM

DD1 was 7, DD2 (who is 6) has asked but hasn't been asked to one yet. They have all (including 3 year old) stayed with my mum at my Dads and my sisters before)

I must say in our circles 6 seems to be a common age to start with non family.

#14 No girls here

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:08 PM

First sleepover with friends was I think around age 5 for both of them.  We knew the parents fairly well.  I know one of DS1's friends had a sleepover party around age 8 and it was the first one that a few of the boys had been to.

#15 baddmammajamma

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:09 PM

We don't have any family in the area.

My daughter (7) recently hosted her first sleep over. She is more comfortable hosting than attending one, though I suspect she might accept an invitation from a close neighborhood friend soon.

#16 OneMore?

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:10 PM

I think almost 6 yo was the first one (not a relative - and that is very rare anyway).

DS2 had 5 boys stay over for his 6th birthday - they had a ball, we then had to let DS1 have a sleepover party for his 8th birthday (again he had 5 boys and DS2 had 1) they stayed up WAY later.

My kids love having sleepovers and going on sleepovers.

DD recently turned 4, and one of her gorgeous little friends said "thanks for having me to the party, I would also like to come for a sleepover and you can look after me" original.gif too cute - so not having a 3yo to sleep over though  biggrin.gif

#17 jayskette

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:13 PM

sleepovers isn't supposed to be about hanky pankies and sex... so as long as you don't wet the bed and is able to behave in a different household and respect house rules etc - say 6?

#18 cinnabubble

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:17 PM

Neither of my children (6 and 2) has slept anywhere without a parent present. The six year old thinks she's ready, but I have serious doubts.

#19 lucky 2

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:19 PM

Dd hasn't been for one (she is 8), we have had family to stay but not friends as yet. We do other things ie staying for a play and dinner then home.
She never had a sleepover with her grandparents, they are now up to their 9th grandchild and haven't wanted to do night care.

#20 ekbaby

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:20 PM

My 4yo has never had a sleep over, even with his grandparents (who are totally capable of looking after him and we trust)- I'm not sure he's ready, and I don't really see the need either. We have a 1 year old as well so it's not like getting DS1 to have a sleepover means we get to have a child-free night. If we didn't have a baby as well, I reckon I'd be ready to start thinking about DS1 having a sleepover with grandparents so we could have a night away.

I can't imagine him having sleepovers at 6 or 7, except with family. I didn't have a sleepover myself until I was about 9. I don't see the urgency of it. I worry about him waking up at night being worried or wanting us, but not being able to ask. He can still go over to friends houses for dinner or to watch movies etc, just not stay the night. Even now he does that. It's only the sleeping bit they are missing out on, and it's probably better that the kids are not mucking up and staying up late together anyway.

As for the second q, we go to places with the kids and let them fall asleep on the couch etc and carry them home sleepy. So do lots of our friends.

#21 newphase

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:22 PM

Apart from family my kids 11&13 have never had a sleepover, and I would never have kids sleep over here..NMS with young kids...i don't get why it is necessary?? Surely a play date, all day even until 8pm is enough??? unsure.gif  Hard though as I do work afternoons and weekends anyway.

And even now I dont ever encourage the idea at all, though if they were to ask I may consider it, but not really excited by the idea at all. I think I could handle the idea of them going to one of their best mates places, but the idea of kids here overnite is to much for me. ohmy.gif

Edited by newphase, 26 December 2012 - 09:22 PM.

#22 Propaganda

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:31 PM

We have only had one, and that was at our home.

I'd be open to having sleepovers, but am too scared to initiate the conversation with other parents thanks to the threads about such things on parenting forums.

The only real issues I can see stemming from sleepovers at this age (mine is the same as your eldest) is that they get sick and tired of each other after a while, and start bickering.

#23 EBeditor

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:31 PM

DS is 5. he has had sleepovers with his grandparents since he was a baby but I think it will be a couple of years before he's ready to sleepover at a friend's house (and I won't be encouraging one here for a while either!)

#24 fooiesmum

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:38 PM

My daughter has stayed 1 night with my parents and she will be 5 in March.

I didn't do sleep overs as a kid - just not something I'm comfortable with.

#25 SlightlyLeftFeral

Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:55 PM

My dd is 3 and has slept over a friends houses a few times, other children from mothers group.

Wasn't by design, I was admitted to hospital in an emergency and needed someone to have dd as I am a single parent.

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