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Anyone else had fights in their family today?

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#1 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 25 December 2012 - 04:53 PM

My parents seperated in August this year after 27 years of marriage. It is long and complicated and obvious my Dad does not want to get back together. It appears my Mum has always hated him but she is the one not letting go.

ANYWAY... Christmas build up has been tense about what was happening but Mum decides to organise something at Dads house (well technically their house but Dad is the only one that lives there) for myself, my 2 brothers and my sister and our families to celebrate Christmas. There were a few arguments between Mum and Dad all week and I was dreading a fight in front of the kids on the day but hoped for the best. Ideally we would have all preferred to do something seperately.

Christmas lunch starts at 11. Mum gets there at 1045. DH, I and kids arrive 1050 and Mum has already flipped out hugely at Dad and left. I ring her and she is sobbing and at the cemetry visiting her deceased brother, sister and parents. Says Dad is seeing another woman etc etc. Refuses to come back. My siblings and I don't know what to do as she is the one that has bought all presents and prepared all food and feel mean doing it without her.

Ds, 4 then asks if we can just go home.  

Anyone elses family have any fights today?

#2 JustBeige

Posted 25 December 2012 - 05:04 PM

Argh, you poor thing and your poor mum too.  less than 6mths apart after 27years together is a huge thing to try and get over.

Love your DS's comment though.  Out of the mouths of babes or what?

Ours wasnt too bad actually.   We only had one moment when FIL said something archaic and dumb regarding driving in torrential rain on motorways/freeways and both DH and BIL double teamed him.  It was kinda awesome actually.

#3 eigne

Posted 25 December 2012 - 05:04 PM

It was yesterday. Someone spent a good 15 minutes letting rip at me over a years worth of perceived slights and imagined insults. I did not deserve it...

#4 Sweetpea11

Posted 25 December 2012 - 05:35 PM

QUOTE (JustBeige @ 25/12/2012, 06:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ours wasnt too bad actually.   We only had one moment when FIL said something archaic and dumb regarding driving in torrential rain on motorways/freeways and both DH and BIL double teamed him.  It was kinda awesome actually.

Now I'm curious as to what your FIL said!!

#5 frizzle

Posted 25 December 2012 - 05:38 PM

Nope not this year. After the attack on me last year by my drunk brother on christmas night we didn't have christmas with my family. I was called every name under the sun, it was an awful day. Still feel sad a year on.

#6 MrsLexiK

Posted 25 December 2012 - 06:10 PM

Well my uncle told my mum he wouldn't speak to her all next year because she won't let him go to their holiday house because he is a drunk. He later told my aunt he wore the shirt he did for her benefit "f*** off I have enough friends" that ended things with her for the year as well.

#7 bek_p

Posted 25 December 2012 - 06:20 PM

My bil complained that we asked for 10 pp to cover the food last night. We also asked that no one feed the dog as his been sick with 3 days in the icu and is only allowed bland food he threw food around the yard over the Fence and drank more then 10 worth of dh's beam then bagged out the food saying its not as good as what we have when it's at other bil house when there exact the same everyone dislikes this bil who also can't hold his booze

#8 JustBeige

Posted 25 December 2012 - 06:31 PM

QUOTE (Sweetpea11 @ 25/12/2012, 06:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Now I'm curious as to what your FIL said!!

lets see.

He has some pearlers.

Todays was "Yes but if it is raining, it doesnt matter if you are travelling in the fast lane, you should just drive to your ability. you shouldnt have to move over into the slow lane just because other lunatics (people who drive to the speed limit) want to go past you "    

Both DH and BIL are frequent freeway drivers so proceeded to lay into him about the actual road rules and subsequent fines.

He's old(ish) and sometimes I suspect he blurts out these pearlers just to rile people up.    I dont think he was expecting the tongue lashing he got though. lol, he picked the wrong day for it as it is horrendous weather in sydney today

#9 Rosiebird

Posted 25 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

I was told by my MIL that I work too much and spend too much time with my friends and not enough time with (read: looking after) my husband. Well, given that he is a SAHD, my working is kind of important isn't it? It was rather a tense day.

#10 Lyn29

Posted 25 December 2012 - 07:57 PM


Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 03:04 PM.

#11 Mitis angelam

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:08 PM

Notably, my mother's comments about how unreasonable it is that no one considers research into curing homosexuality a priority did not start an argument.  

I think my restraint was positively steely.

#12 cesca

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:12 PM

We had a big family lunch today, with family coming from overseas and all over.  

My mum started complaining weeks ago that she wished that we'd cook the lunch (we always offer, she always refuses) so we took over the lunch prep. She then spent all day complaining about how she couldn't get in the kitchen, loudly saying how awful the food was sure to be and that no-one would ever eat it, and loudly insulted my touchy SIL (the SIL is never coming back, ever, as far as she's concerned) by turning her nose up at the bunch of flowers and chocs she was given.

She then waited and WAITED and WAITED until everyone else had their plates served up, and there was plenty of food left.  Just before people started coming for seconds we quickly said "Mum, get your plate dished up!" but she huffed off saying she wasn't hungry. She then kept an eye on things, and the minute all the roast potatoes and lamb had been eaten she made a huge fuss about how she did all the work and there was now no food left for her.  

She flounced off, started smashing the dishes in the kitchen in a half hearted attempt to wash them. Myself and two SILs took over the dishes, (didn't need any more than 3 people in the kitchen), and so she then goes on about how the other SIL (the one who brought the flowers) is such a lazy so-and-so as she wasn't helping.  She kept turning off the music, yelling at the kids to get out of her bloody way, and she refused to let us do the dishes in peace, she kept going through all the drawers and cupboards loudly complaining that we weren't putting things in the right places.

We all eventually slunk away, very angry and upset with her, and she's now complaining that no-one thanked her for all her hard work and that no-one said goodbye.

I am actually really livid.  My day turned into crap thanks to my mum matyring herself and doing her best to make everyone have a miserable time.  Lots of lessons learnt for next time, that's for sure.

Edited to add that DH also decided to be an idiot as well, telling me that the reason I don't have a job yet is that I don't want it enough.  It's all my own fault.  This just tops off yesterday when he told me that the money he earns is his and his only.

Edited by cesca, 25 December 2012 - 08:15 PM.

#13 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:12 PM

Sister and DH had a disagreement about which way blood flows through the body and DH , dad and Sister had a minor difference of opinion over whether to cook turkey breast side down or up.

#14 littleboysmum

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:20 PM

Cesca, how difficult. Hope you're having a much more relaxing evening.

#15 Ducky*Fuzz

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:28 PM

AngeVert, maybe your mum needs to start looking at a cure for idiocy instead wink.gif

#16 JRA

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:30 PM

Oh people, I am sorry you all had such a rough time.

OP I can't imagine how hard it would be for your parents to be together for christmas after a recent separation. Seems a tough call to expect.

Rosiebird: How can someone even think that.

Cesca: I am sorry it was so horrible

#17 FeralFerretOfDoom

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:32 PM

QUOTE (Ange Vert @ 25/12/2012, 09:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Notably, my mother's comments about how unreasonable it is that no one considers research into curing homosexuality a priority did not start an argument.  

I think my restraint was positively steely.

Wow - well done Ange!

Sorry to everyone else who had crappy stuff happen today. My family is far from perfect, but we usually manage things like Christmas well - we had a good day today, if a bit sad because it was the first Christmas without my stepfather, who passed away in October.

#18 Coffeegirl

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:33 PM

For the first time in our 20 odd year marriage, there were no arguments with DH's family.and no one stormed out.  

I attribute this to a couple things.

1). DH invited one his workmates and his wife for lunch ( they have only been in Sydney for 8 mths and on their own this year) so his family was on their best behaviour.
2).  I sat at the kid's table and did not hear the disgusting comments that FIL made abiout Germans (our guests were German) and only heard about them after they had left
3). MIL and I are not actually 'speaking'. I am civil to her and only discuss the basics
4) BIL did not drink more than a 1/2 glass of champers and a single beer.

So to all.  A Merry Christmas!   It can happen original.gif

cesca - your mum sounds like my MIL.  I called her out publicly on her behaviour earlier this year and things are better, but mainly because we are not talking.

#19 *cough*

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:43 PM


Edited by *cough*, 26 December 2012 - 10:58 AM.

#20 Mousky

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:45 PM

My sister decided to attack everything that I have in my birth plan, including not wanting to deliver lying on my back, so I gave her a piece of my mind.

Note- my plan has nothing unusual in it, just things like wanting to use the bath if available, my preferred order of pain releif and wanting an active birth if I can handle the pain.

#21 3hearts

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:51 PM

We hosted DH's family for Christmas last Saturday.  I was pleasantly surprised at how well the day was going until dessert time when SIL asked me across the table if I regretted not stopping at 3 children.  My DH's 90 year old grandmother have her a serve on my behalf.  I love her. wub.gif

#22 Bluestocking

Posted 25 December 2012 - 08:58 PM

Religious warfare. Almost started WW3. Was great!

#23 *Finn*

Posted 25 December 2012 - 09:01 PM

Well it wasn't an argument but only because I bit my tounge. But my father who visits once a year from another country spent ten min telling everyone how naughty my DS was at his birthday party on Sunday. DS who is turning 3 was extremely excited to see his friends at his pool party and had a few energetic moments where he needed to be reminded to be careful of his friends. According to my father - DS was a right little Sh#t.
He has noooooo idea.

Edited by *Finn*, 25 December 2012 - 09:03 PM.

#24 Anonemy

Posted 25 December 2012 - 09:12 PM

I am so sorry you had a bad day - i hope tomorrow is a much better day and that your mum regrets her behaviour and says sorry.

Edited by luibee, 27 December 2012 - 09:24 PM.

#25 FiveAus

Posted 25 December 2012 - 09:17 PM

Ours was calm and peaceful, but all these posts remind me exactly of why I haven't spoken to my mother in over 12 years and have stiffened my resolve to keep it that way.

The first Christmas my husband was in my life, she spent the better part of Christmas Eve telling him loudly how awful all the Americans she'd met were. He's American.

Another time she caused my sister and I to drop our jaws when she proclaimed to all and sundry that the reason black Africans live in grass huts is that they're not as intelligent as white people. (Where was the ABC and "Go Back To Where You Came From" then? She would have been a prime candidate!)

One year she dragged up some long forgotten comment from the past, twisted it and used it against my sister, who was visiting us in Vic from FNQ, and insulted her so badly she got on the next plane and went home.

Just a few of the pearls I can remember. Always after guzzling a couple of glasses of cask wine. In my mothers world this stuff rivals Veuve Cliquot for quality.

I don't miss those days at all.

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