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Gift for new boyfriend.
Should I and what?


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24 replies to this topic

#1 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

I've just found out my 23 yo daughter is bringing her new boyfriend to our place on Christmas afternoon. She doesn't live near us, and he lives in a different city to her, so they usually spend their weekends in his city and we've not yet met him.
I think she's been seeing him for about 6 months, but could be longer.

Not a problem at all that he's coming on Christmas afternoon, it will be lovely to finally meet him. But this is our "present-giving" tradition and I'm not quite sure what to do about him. Present? No present? If so, what? I know nothing about him beyond his name.....and I think he's the same age as her. I don't know what he does for a living, what his interests are or even what he looks like. I do know he drinks cab sav because I just sent her a message and asked her.

My thoughts are that he can't be at our present giving ceremony without a present or two. The others all get more than one, and I doubt any of her siblings will have bought him anything to add to the pile of gifts to be handed out.

So, I think I should buy him something. But what? JB Hi Fi voucher? Bottle of cab sav? Any other ideas? Young guys are hard to buy for anyway, but one I know nothing about is near impossible.

#2 L&E

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:13 PM

A bottle of cab sav and maybe an iTunes voucher? Or ask your daughter what she thinks or if she will be bringing a gift for him to open?

#3 Xiola

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:15 PM

Music voucher sounds fine.

#4 Funwith3

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:16 PM

There is every chance he won't buy you anything.... so with that in mind, I would buy something (or a few things) but don't spend a fortune on him. Don't make him feel awkward, but do make him feel welcome. A bottle of wine is a definite winner. Chocolates? A book? A small gift voucher (say, $20-25).

It's hard to buy something for him, without really knowing anything about him so I think any of the above would be suitable.

ETA: or a cinemas voucher if they live near cinemas?

Edited by Funwith3, 23 December 2012 - 02:16 PM.


#5 amaza

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:16 PM

Yep, definitely a bottle of cab sav and a voucher for a generic place (JB HiFi is fine, or Westfields). You could ask her what kinds of snacks or things he likes or if he drinks coffee and just get some kind of lolly (M&Ms?) and some coffee or a coffee mug. Keep it simple and small but generic. I think it's a lovely gesture.

#6 strawberrycakes

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:17 PM

I think a bottle of wine & a Coles/Myer or whatever voucher would be lovely.

#7 intd242

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

Could do a bottle of wine & a restaurant/movie/other experience voucher for him and your daughter to use?

#8 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:22 PM

Oh, I don't expect him to buy anything for us, but our presents that we give out are "Santa" presents with no giver on the tag (it's a tradition my kids were loathe to end when they grew up and moved out so we kept it).
Anything that she gives us will be considered to be from him as well.

What's a good cab sav? (up to $30). I don't drink so I wouldn't have a clue. I'll pick one up after work tomorrow, and a voucher from somewhere.




#9 Mummy fab

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:26 PM

I prob wouldn't get wine, most guys I know drink beer not wine. Aftershave, a voucher, chocolates.

Can you ask your daughter for some hints? Does he have a car? What about one of those car cleaning kits?

If he does drink what about a voucher for the local alcohol place?

#10 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

He drinks cab sav. I knew my daughter was coming her Xmas day, but wasn't sure about her boyfriend (his parents live in the nearest town to us).
I sent her an SMS and asked if he was coming, she said yes. I asked what he drank, she said cab sav.

#11 Feral timtam

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:40 PM

We do small boxes of chocolate, biscuits and confectionery for 'drop ins' over Christmas. I hate not having a present for everyone who shows up so I do this. They're nice generic gifts that pretty much everyone likes and they cost very little.

#12 WhatKatyDid

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

You couldn't go too far wrong with either of these Cab Savs:

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_916222...-sauvignon-2006

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_144468...ernet-sauvignon

Or this is one of my personal favourites but it is a blend:

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_917526...raz-merlot-2007

I think that a bottle of wine is a good compromise original.gif

#13 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:58 PM

QUOTE (What~Katy~Did @ 23/12/2012, 03:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You couldn't go too far wrong with either of these Cab Savs:

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_916222...-sauvignon-2006

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_144468...ernet-sauvignon

Or this is one of my personal favourites but it is a blend:

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_917526...raz-merlot-2007

I think that a bottle of wine is a good compromise original.gif



Thanks! That gives me a head start.

I like the movie ticket idea too, but don't think I'll have time to get to the cinema as it's a fair bit further on from work.

#14 RogerRabbit

Posted 23 December 2012 - 03:02 PM

You can get movie vouchers at coles or woolworths even the post office too I think.


Thank you for doing this, I have gone to Dh family one christmas when he was my DF and both of us didn't recieve a thing - we brought presents for everyone who was there, but every other present was for there 16 yr old daughter.

#15 Katie_bella

Posted 23 December 2012 - 03:10 PM

QUOTE (FiveAus @ 23/12/2012, 03:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh, I don't expect him to buy anything for us, but our presents that we give out are "Santa" presents with no giver on the tag (it's a tradition my kids were loathe to end when they grew up and moved out so we kept it).
Anything that she gives us will be considered to be from him as well.

What's a good cab sav? (up to $30). I don't drink so I wouldn't have a clue. I'll pick one up after work tomorrow, and a voucher from somewhere.


Anything from Coonawarra is good biggrin.gif

#16 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 03:18 PM

QUOTE (RogerRabbit @ 23/12/2012, 04:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You can get movie vouchers at coles or woolworths even the post office too I think.


Thank you for doing this, I have gone to Dh family one christmas when he was my DF and both of us didn't recieve a thing - we brought presents for everyone who was there, but every other present was for there 16 yr old daughter.



Wow, that's terrible. But I also have a precedent for this......years ago when my girls were little (9 and 5 or thereabouts), they went with their older brothers to my ex's parents place for Christmas night. All of their aunts, uncles and cousins from my ex's side were there, and the grandparents made a big deal out of the presents. Except there weren't any for my kids, so they had to sit there and watch every other child open numerous presents and not receive one themselves. They had been given a small gift each from their grandparents the day before but none of the aunts or uncles thought to get them something for the gift giving ceremony.
I was told later it was because my ex never buys anything for their kids so they don't feel a need to buy for his.

My sons were furious, absolutely disgusted. They said "Mum, we didn't care that we didn't get anything but you should have seen the girls faces when there was nothing for them and all these fantastic things for the other kids".

Kind of missing the Christmas spirit a bit, isn't it?



#17 MrsShine

Posted 23 December 2012 - 03:28 PM

Agreè with movie voucher thing or an experience he can do with your daughter... You can get movie money at Big W, Coles etc. or even try online? Think you can print something out to go in a card?

Plus the wine, you know he drinks it so you're safe there.

Just in case he is awkward about receiving things, or then feels bad assuming he got you nothing I reckon the voucher for both if them is the exact right compromise to make him feel included but not overwhelmed.

I think a movie voucher is also a nice thing, and doesn't feel so generic - to me a JB hi Fi or iTunes one feels very "I had no idea what to get you and this is all I could come up with" whereas the latter feels thoughtful original.gif

#18 Anne of The Island

Posted 23 December 2012 - 03:41 PM

You can buy movie vouchers on-line and print off the voucher or send it via an e-card.  Well, I have seen Hoyst advertise this so I assume Village would do it too.

It's a lovely idea, OP - good on you.

Your poor daughters, that must have been horrible!

#19 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 23 December 2012 - 04:38 PM

We had this problem with BILs boyfriend, I didn't feel right not getting him something but have only met him a handful of times so have no idea of his likes or dislikes, I even tried asking BIL and he was no help lol, in the end we decided on chocolate (when I can't think of anything I always go for chocolate) and some fancy pen, though I am kicking myself now that I didn't even think of getting him some nice aftershave (though at least now I have an idea for his birthday).

#20 mumto4boys

Posted 23 December 2012 - 05:27 PM

Wine
Movie tickets
Chocolates

All things that your daughter can benefit from too :-)


#21 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 08:32 PM

I have a feeling he's in the navy or something.....my daughter didn't tell me, but I have a feeling my son might have mentioned it last time I visited him. So he might live on base and wouldn't need much home stuff.

I'm liking the wine and movie tickets.....we bought other daughters boyfriend a JB Hi Fi voucher for his first Xmas with us, which I'd forgotten about until just now, so I don't want it to seem like "Welcome to the family, the traditional Xmas gift for guys we don't know is a JB Hi Fi Voucher, Merry Xmas!"

Some of the other suggestions have been filed for future reference....there are always young guys to buy for and they are aways the most difficult!

#22 LambChop

Posted 23 December 2012 - 09:21 PM

I don't think you need to do wine and voucher, given you've never met.  One or the other IMO.

Personally, I think just a bottle of wine is best... low key etc.

#23 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 09:31 PM

QUOTE (stopwhiningatme @ 23/12/2012, 10:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wine or movie tickets sound good.

The question here is, what will he bring?  He may well be agonising over the same thing.


Hopefully nothing. They aren't eating here and even if they decide to stay for a meal, we have plenty of food. I'd expect he'll follow my daughters lead, she generally shows up empty handed, which I don't mind a bit. Britts previous boyfriends weren't the type to agonise over anything so I doubt this one will either.
Actually last time she showed up with her pet rabbit, so not completely empty handed. She's got a cat now as well, I hope she doesn't bring it, I doubt it would be used to five dogs. That might make for a fun Christmas afternoon, not for the cat though.

#24 FiveAus

Posted 23 December 2012 - 09:34 PM

Oh she does bring presents though. I expect whatever she's got for us will be from both of them.

We have a bit of a running joke about her gift wrapping skills. She used to work in a deli and wrapped everything like it was sliced ham. She tells me she's uncovered a new talent this year. Proper gift wrapping. Personally I think she's had them professionally done.

Edited by FiveAus, 23 December 2012 - 09:35 PM.


#25 FiveAus

Posted 24 December 2012 - 03:02 PM

QUOTE (What~Katy~Did @ 23/12/2012, 03:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Or this is one of my personal favourites but it is a blend:

http://danmurphys.com.au/product/DM_917526...raz-merlot-2007

I think that a bottle of wine is a good compromise original.gif



I got this one. Today was "my" day.....I went to work (in a federal govt department) and work was slow so anyone with a flex credit got to leave early......yay.......drove to the mall, got a park RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR!!!! despite the carpark being absolutely feral, walked into the bottle shop and instead of wandering around with a look of confusion, I walked straight to the reds and picked up the first bottle I recognised. In and out in less than 5 minutes.

Thank you for the suggestion, I'm sure he'll love it.




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