Jump to content

Has anyone let their toddler decide when to ditch the dummy?


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 tickledpink72

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:04 PM

My almost 3 year old DS still has a dummy.  He does use it during the day, but not all the time.  He likes to know that its nearby, and will use it if he is getting tired or is upset.  But a lot of the time its just sitting on the cupboard.  He uses it at sleep time, and can't get to sleep without it.

I personally have no problem with any of the above.

However, I am getting increasing pressure from both my Mum & MIL about it.  Every time they come over they make comments to him like "Why have you got that thing in your mouth" and "You don't need that, give it to me".  My mother has gone as far as to say to me "Well he's going to look pretty funny on his first day at school with a dummy in his mouth" (This earned her a fair telling off from me).

My question is, has anyone just let their child decide when they are finished with their dummy?  I'm not sure if I should allow him this or should I listen to the mothers and arrange a visit from the "Dummy Fairy".

#2 mum2jp

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:20 PM

My DS is almost 2. He has a dummy for sleep time. When I check on him before I go to bed he has usually spat it out so he really only needs it to get to sleep. I am not ready to push him to get rid of it yet as I know he wakes sometimes and puts it back in himself during the night as I hear him fussing around on the monitor so f it wasn't there he would probably wake right up. At almost 3 I would be worried about the effects on his teeth and speech for a lot of day use. Maybe you could try weaning him slowly by restricting day use and only having it only for bed. We do this by having DS give it to his sleep teddy that stays in his cot during the day, so it's out of sight out of mind.

#3 overthehill

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

DS is almost 3 and has his dummy still for sleep only, I pick it up and hide it during the day. With DS1 I took it off him at 2, which wasn't too bad but DS2 is much more fiery a d also wouldn't understand the whole dummy fairy thing yet. So I'm waiting it out hoping he will decide to get rid of it, if not I will give it maybe 6 months and then have to deal with taking it from him.  I have put pin pricks in them but he still sucks it!  
Good luck!


#4 tibs

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

A girl in my mothers group has a dummy she uses like your child.  Her mother always said she give it up when she is ready.  Well our kids are starting school next year and she still has it.  She was carrying it at school orientation last month, no joke  ohmy.gif  Not cool IMO and the poor thing will probably be picked on because nobody taught her any different sad.gif

#5 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:44 PM

DD gave hers up a few months after turning 3, when she started 3yo kinder. She just said they were for babies and she's a big girl now and that was that original.gif

#6 sarkazm76

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:44 PM

My DS uses his for nap time and bedtime at night only.... or if he's really sick we migth let him have it during the day at home.   I recently wanted to see if he was ready to get rid of it so used a technique I think I got from EB... cut a hole in the dummy so when he sucked it didn't work properly.... I do not recommend doing this to the only one you have left in the house.  It was very hard and night 2 I ended up dashing to Wollies for a new one- he wasnt' ready.  He woke on night one and got very upset and so I gave him his water bottle just for something to suck on and then he wanted to sleep with THAT and it was jsut awful.  He had refused his nap that day too.  We just decided he's probably not ready yet.
We'll try again every 6 months ansd see what happens.


#7 iwanttosleepin

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:49 PM

At nearly 3 years old I'm in the 'why on earth have you got that thing in your mouth' camp.

I'd be restricting it to sleep time only and setting a time frame for ditching it.  Maybe 3rd birthday and swap it for something like a toy.

A 3 year old does not need a dummy hanging out their mouth all day.

#8 girltribe4

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:54 PM

I was getting pressure about my 3+yr old DD having her dummies so we took them away which was all very easy except now she is a very happy thumb sucker rolleyes.gif

#9 girltribe4

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:58 PM

I refuse to fight the ''thumb battle'' with her , I have never forgotten or forgiven my parents for the plasters or yucky stuff on my thumbs to stop me . It didn't work either , if anything it made me more determined. I have let my 2 previous thumb suckers give up in their own time .

#10 Ice Queen

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:03 AM

Yes, my DD decided herself just after turning 3.  I had no problem with the dummy by this age as long as it was only at sleep time.  I was also getting pressure from people which tbh I ignored.  It shat me.  I know my DD and she is pretty shy and not very confident and this was her security blanket.  She never had a 'blankie' or teddy or anything like that.  What grated on me the most was that a mum who kept hassling me (she had done the dummy fairy thing at around 2) has to drag grotty teddies to the shops, in the car etc and cue meltdown if it is ever forgotten with her kids.  I figured my dummy was much easier!

Anyway all we did was talk about growing up, being a big girl etc and how big girls dont use dummies.  We didnt pressure her, just discussed it in conversation.  One weekend she went for a sleepover at the IL's and her 6yo cousin also slept over.  My DD loves her cousin and I suspect the cousin said something to her when they went to bed.  I know my MIL never would as she didnt care about the dummy.  Anyway the next day she came home, told DH she wanted to put the dummy in the wheelie bin and that was it!  Gone forever.  eexcite.gif

I am a fan of letting kids do things in their own time.  My DD is a pretty stubborn personality so this approach works for us.  You know your child best so ignore advice and do what you thinks works for them and their personality.

Edited by Ehill, 23 December 2012 - 11:05 AM.


#11 HIH.GD.Isolabella

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:17 AM

My folks took the dummy from me as I turned four..... Yes I do remember that.

I took DDs dummy at 2.25 yrs. even at. Just turned 3she still asks me where her dummy is and has a cry about no dummy.



#12 BabyHopeful

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:35 AM

I do think at some stage you need to intervene. There is a girl in my sons Grade 1 class (7 years old) who still has a dummy as a security thing!

That being said DS2 had a dummy until he was almost 4, but he ended up giving it up under his own steam (kind of). He fell asleep on the couch 2 nights in a row so we put him to bed without it. And that was it.

This was part of the reason DS3 never had one. He got hold of DS2's a couple of times and thought it was a great toy, he had no idea what to do with it lol

#13 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:40 AM

My younger sister had one till around 4 years of age. I think you could start the whole "big kids don't have dummies" thing and see how that goes.

#14 tickledpink72

Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:36 PM

Thanks everyone.

We have started the whole "Dummies are for babies, you're a big boy" but as yet it isn't having much impact.  He does have a development delay so doesn't REALLY understand what it means.

Looks like the dummy fairy will be coming soon..

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

We would have but it started effecting his eating and speech so we went cold turkey last Monday. DS was totally addicted, it was getting to be worrisome, so at 16 months they suddenly disappeared and he has actually been quite good. I think cold turkey is best, but a 16 mo is much less aware than a 3 year old..

#16 niggles

Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:50 PM

We let our DD keep using hers while she still had to wear a hip brace. As it turned out that meant she was 4.5 before we got rid of it completely. It went quite easily with lots of forward preparation and talking about the dummy fairy. I waited for a day she fell asleep on the couch without her dummy watching a movie after a big day at a party. She had been given a 'magic crystal' which was in her hand at the time so I used that to convince her she had special magic and didn't need the dummy anymore. I woke her up very excitedly and showed her the Transformer she'd wanted for ages that the fairy had left while she was asleep and then the next morning it was a box full of ponies I'd pulled out and placed on the end of her bed. I had to lay with her for about 3 nights and teach her to breathe herself gently off to sleep and after that she hasn't looked back.

So in short I'm a believer in letting them keep it as long as they need that extra comfort and then ripping off the bandaid so to speak. I don't think the 'big kids don't need dummies' bit really helps them to get over that psychological barrier although it might be a way to start the conversation.

#17 L&E

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

DS was about 2.5 and he kept biting holes in his (he only had it to get to sleep). I told him I couldn't buy any more as he was too old now, so what we had left was all there was. He hated them when they had a hole in them, and as they got chewed we'd say "ok, only 3 left now! Then that's it!" When he hit a hole in the last one he said "that's the last one!" and had a cry, sleep was a bit harder that night but I kept telling him we'd get to choose a prize from the shops the next day if he was a brave big boy. We never looked back.

I actually had two stashed away in my bedside table in case it was horrible, but didn't need to use them.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.