Jump to content

Has anyone let their toddler decide when to ditch the dummy?


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 tickledpink72

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:04 PM

My almost 3 year old DS still has a dummy.  He does use it during the day, but not all the time.  He likes to know that its nearby, and will use it if he is getting tired or is upset.  But a lot of the time its just sitting on the cupboard.  He uses it at sleep time, and can't get to sleep without it.

I personally have no problem with any of the above.

However, I am getting increasing pressure from both my Mum & MIL about it.  Every time they come over they make comments to him like "Why have you got that thing in your mouth" and "You don't need that, give it to me".  My mother has gone as far as to say to me "Well he's going to look pretty funny on his first day at school with a dummy in his mouth" (This earned her a fair telling off from me).

My question is, has anyone just let their child decide when they are finished with their dummy?  I'm not sure if I should allow him this or should I listen to the mothers and arrange a visit from the "Dummy Fairy".

#2 mum2jp

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:20 PM

My DS is almost 2. He has a dummy for sleep time. When I check on him before I go to bed he has usually spat it out so he really only needs it to get to sleep. I am not ready to push him to get rid of it yet as I know he wakes sometimes and puts it back in himself during the night as I hear him fussing around on the monitor so f it wasn't there he would probably wake right up. At almost 3 I would be worried about the effects on his teeth and speech for a lot of day use. Maybe you could try weaning him slowly by restricting day use and only having it only for bed. We do this by having DS give it to his sleep teddy that stays in his cot during the day, so it's out of sight out of mind.

#3 overthehill

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

DS is almost 3 and has his dummy still for sleep only, I pick it up and hide it during the day. With DS1 I took it off him at 2, which wasn't too bad but DS2 is much more fiery a d also wouldn't understand the whole dummy fairy thing yet. So I'm waiting it out hoping he will decide to get rid of it, if not I will give it maybe 6 months and then have to deal with taking it from him.  I have put pin pricks in them but he still sucks it!  
Good luck!


#4 tibs

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

A girl in my mothers group has a dummy she uses like your child.  Her mother always said she give it up when she is ready.  Well our kids are starting school next year and she still has it.  She was carrying it at school orientation last month, no joke  ohmy.gif  Not cool IMO and the poor thing will probably be picked on because nobody taught her any different sad.gif

#5 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:44 PM

DD gave hers up a few months after turning 3, when she started 3yo kinder. She just said they were for babies and she's a big girl now and that was that original.gif

#6 sarkazm76

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:44 PM

My DS uses his for nap time and bedtime at night only.... or if he's really sick we migth let him have it during the day at home.   I recently wanted to see if he was ready to get rid of it so used a technique I think I got from EB... cut a hole in the dummy so when he sucked it didn't work properly.... I do not recommend doing this to the only one you have left in the house.  It was very hard and night 2 I ended up dashing to Wollies for a new one- he wasnt' ready.  He woke on night one and got very upset and so I gave him his water bottle just for something to suck on and then he wanted to sleep with THAT and it was jsut awful.  He had refused his nap that day too.  We just decided he's probably not ready yet.
We'll try again every 6 months ansd see what happens.


#7 iwanttosleepin

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:49 PM

At nearly 3 years old I'm in the 'why on earth have you got that thing in your mouth' camp.

I'd be restricting it to sleep time only and setting a time frame for ditching it.  Maybe 3rd birthday and swap it for something like a toy.

A 3 year old does not need a dummy hanging out their mouth all day.

#8 girltribe4

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:54 PM

I was getting pressure about my 3+yr old DD having her dummies so we took them away which was all very easy except now she is a very happy thumb sucker rolleyes.gif

#9 girltribe4

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:58 PM

I refuse to fight the ''thumb battle'' with her , I have never forgotten or forgiven my parents for the plasters or yucky stuff on my thumbs to stop me . It didn't work either , if anything it made me more determined. I have let my 2 previous thumb suckers give up in their own time .

#10 Ice Queen

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:03 AM

Yes, my DD decided herself just after turning 3.  I had no problem with the dummy by this age as long as it was only at sleep time.  I was also getting pressure from people which tbh I ignored.  It shat me.  I know my DD and she is pretty shy and not very confident and this was her security blanket.  She never had a 'blankie' or teddy or anything like that.  What grated on me the most was that a mum who kept hassling me (she had done the dummy fairy thing at around 2) has to drag grotty teddies to the shops, in the car etc and cue meltdown if it is ever forgotten with her kids.  I figured my dummy was much easier!

Anyway all we did was talk about growing up, being a big girl etc and how big girls dont use dummies.  We didnt pressure her, just discussed it in conversation.  One weekend she went for a sleepover at the IL's and her 6yo cousin also slept over.  My DD loves her cousin and I suspect the cousin said something to her when they went to bed.  I know my MIL never would as she didnt care about the dummy.  Anyway the next day she came home, told DH she wanted to put the dummy in the wheelie bin and that was it!  Gone forever.  eexcite.gif

I am a fan of letting kids do things in their own time.  My DD is a pretty stubborn personality so this approach works for us.  You know your child best so ignore advice and do what you thinks works for them and their personality.

Edited by Ehill, 23 December 2012 - 11:05 AM.


#11 Isolabella

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:17 AM

My folks took the dummy from me as I turned four..... Yes I do remember that.

I took DDs dummy at 2.25 yrs. even at. Just turned 3she still asks me where her dummy is and has a cry about no dummy.



#12 BabyHopeful

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:35 AM

I do think at some stage you need to intervene. There is a girl in my sons Grade 1 class (7 years old) who still has a dummy as a security thing!

That being said DS2 had a dummy until he was almost 4, but he ended up giving it up under his own steam (kind of). He fell asleep on the couch 2 nights in a row so we put him to bed without it. And that was it.

This was part of the reason DS3 never had one. He got hold of DS2's a couple of times and thought it was a great toy, he had no idea what to do with it lol

#13 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 23 December 2012 - 11:40 AM

My younger sister had one till around 4 years of age. I think you could start the whole "big kids don't have dummies" thing and see how that goes.

#14 tickledpink72

Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:36 PM

Thanks everyone.

We have started the whole "Dummies are for babies, you're a big boy" but as yet it isn't having much impact.  He does have a development delay so doesn't REALLY understand what it means.

Looks like the dummy fairy will be coming soon..

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

We would have but it started effecting his eating and speech so we went cold turkey last Monday. DS was totally addicted, it was getting to be worrisome, so at 16 months they suddenly disappeared and he has actually been quite good. I think cold turkey is best, but a 16 mo is much less aware than a 3 year old..

#16 niggles

Posted 23 December 2012 - 01:50 PM

We let our DD keep using hers while she still had to wear a hip brace. As it turned out that meant she was 4.5 before we got rid of it completely. It went quite easily with lots of forward preparation and talking about the dummy fairy. I waited for a day she fell asleep on the couch without her dummy watching a movie after a big day at a party. She had been given a 'magic crystal' which was in her hand at the time so I used that to convince her she had special magic and didn't need the dummy anymore. I woke her up very excitedly and showed her the Transformer she'd wanted for ages that the fairy had left while she was asleep and then the next morning it was a box full of ponies I'd pulled out and placed on the end of her bed. I had to lay with her for about 3 nights and teach her to breathe herself gently off to sleep and after that she hasn't looked back.

So in short I'm a believer in letting them keep it as long as they need that extra comfort and then ripping off the bandaid so to speak. I don't think the 'big kids don't need dummies' bit really helps them to get over that psychological barrier although it might be a way to start the conversation.

#17 L&E

Posted 23 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

DS was about 2.5 and he kept biting holes in his (he only had it to get to sleep). I told him I couldn't buy any more as he was too old now, so what we had left was all there was. He hated them when they had a hole in them, and as they got chewed we'd say "ok, only 3 left now! Then that's it!" When he hit a hole in the last one he said "that's the last one!" and had a cry, sleep was a bit harder that night but I kept telling him we'd get to choose a prize from the shops the next day if he was a brave big boy. We never looked back.

I actually had two stashed away in my bedside table in case it was horrible, but didn't need to use them.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.