Jump to content

Unsettled period
What worked for you?


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 Toothfairy01

Posted 22 December 2012 - 09:52 PM

I know there are many threads on settling but specifically, what has worked for those of you who had/have a baby who would settle reasonably easily with picking up or rocking but would refuse to be put down??

We have a 5 wk old and for the past 3 weeks, usually around 9pm till 2am, will cry and fuss unless she is picked up, not only cuddled, but needs to be rocked, bounced and jiggled. She will settle within seconds to minutes, seem to start falling asleep, we'll gently lower her to the cradle, she might stay there for maximum 10min and then start crying again. She's fed, clean, dry, etc.

This seems to only happen during this time of day (our arsenic hour, I guess).

Do any of you have any techniques which have worked?

We understand the peak crying etc and I've been reading the purple crying website, so we are willing to ride it out but any tips in the meantime would be great.

TIA

#2 SilverSky

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:03 PM

Unfortunately nothing worked for us, we just had to ride it out until about 12 weeks when DD started to settle into a 7.30pm bedtime and sleep at least 3 hours.

There is not going to be a next time for us, but IF there was going to be, I would get one of those co-sleeper things (which you put in your bed) and have my hand on the baby and when they woke, just roll them back and forth gently. I am not a fan of co-sleeping but I think sometimes this is the only option that works.

#3 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:03 PM

I actually had a sleep nanny come to our house (highly recommended if you're in Melbourne). We had the most success with putting DD on her side (I know it is against SIDS but we had all cotton sheets, good firm bedding etc) tucking a sheet very firmly over her so that her arms were contained, (although your bub is probs still swaddled) and then very firmly patting her bottom with the other hand firmly holding her shoulder.

If she got upset then I was told to sing very loudly (twinkle twinkle is my fave) all the while holding and patting and to gradually drop the singing to shhhh, shhhh and slowly soften patting and the shoulder hold but to keep the shushing until I was out of the room. One horrible night I counted over 300 pats!!!

Good luck - it does get easier ...eventually!! original.gif

#4 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:04 PM

I should add that if DD settled well I would slide her onto her back ... for the SIDS thing

#5 lucky 2

Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:30 PM

Hi Toothfairy01, you might also find some tips in the pinned settling thread in this forum.
It's probably a situation of riding it out though, the behaviour of your baby sounds very typical.
I hope you find something that helps.
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...howtopic=957742

#6 agdp07

Posted 22 December 2012 - 11:06 PM

We have a 4 week old that doesn't like being put down so I have tried a few different things which have all worked sometimes and failed sometimes.
When I put her down I keep my hand under her head for a few minutes. (Might not help if your getting 10 minutes straight up)
While in hospital the midwives had a little battery operated white noise machine. They put it in the cot and it played the sound of breaking waves.
Instead of buying one I downloaded a few Apps on my ipad that do this and I place it in her cot with a timer set. (Ipad is on flight mode so no wireless signals near my baby.)
Surprisingly this gives us the most success.
We also use the zipper swaddles that put her hands up next to her ears as she escapes from being swaddled with a blanket.
They are nowhere near as firm holding as a midwife swaddling with a blanket but seems to help with her hands up. Also not as hot which works well in QLD when its 28 degrees all night this time of year.

#7 Charli73

Posted 23 December 2012 - 06:48 AM

My DS was like this.. I used the fit ball for hours to settle him sometimes and he used to always wake up too once he went down.  I had some success with baby 2 by warming the bassinet with a heat bag so she felt warm like she was still being held and playing 'music for dreaming' or white noise apps on my iPhone...
Warming the cot/bassinet worked a treat for us though...

Hope this helps a little..

#8 Toothfairy01

Posted 26 December 2012 - 01:19 AM

Thank you so much for your replies.

We've tried a lot of what has been suggested, except a heart beat machine. She seems oblivious to white noise. We always swaddle for sleep and I think the Love to Dream swaddle has made a slight different in that it's less faffing to get her into it so if she's lightly asleep, then she's more likely to stay asleep.

Plus, as she matures, things that used to work, don't anymore.

We drove home late from an Xmas celebration tonight and we thought the car had done the trick but she stirred and started crying when taken out of the car seat. I guess this is when a capsule would come in handy but I don't like the thought of leaving her to sleep in it for longer than necessary.

Most of the time, it seems like we just have to ride it out until between 1am and 3am, it's like she's just not ready to go down until then. I just wish she would prefer to sleep a little earlier as  once she's down, she'll wake for feeds but pretty much go back to sleep without too much fuss. We then need to catch up on sleep in the morning, which is fine, unless we have somewhere to be or having visitors and then we lose a sleep between feeds.



#9 nen-c

Posted 26 December 2012 - 12:41 PM

My first was like this for probably 2-3 months after birth - I think it is pretty common. I gave up putting him in the cot for a while, and would get him to sleep while moving about, wait for a while and then was able to sit on the couch and rest while holding him until he either woke up for another feed, or I felt like I could put him to bed. Sometimes if I lay on my side in bed and let him feed/comfort suck until he was sleeping then I could get up and leave him there. Also I would always wrap for the witching hour - seems to help keep feeling a bit more calm and secure.

She will get there OP - just keep riding it out for a bit longer.

#10 Toothfairy01

Posted 27 December 2012 - 06:09 PM



QUOTE (nen-c @ 26/12/2012, 01:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My first was like this for probably 2-3 months after birth - I think it is pretty common. I gave up putting him in the cot for a while, and would get him to sleep while moving about, wait for a while and then was able to sit on the couch and rest while holding him until he either woke up for another feed, or I felt like I could put him to bed. Sometimes if I lay on my side in bed and let him feed/comfort suck until he was sleeping then I could get up and leave him there. Also I would always wrap for the witching hour - seems to help keep feeling a bit more calm and secure.

She will get there OP - just keep riding it out for a bit longer.


Thanks nen-c! Did you do anything to "train" your bub? So many people are criticising us for spoiling her but we just cant put her down until she's ready or she screams the house down and then vomits.

She self-settles when she chooses, but never at that time.

#11 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Don't listen to people telling you you're spoiling a 5 week old! That's such an outdated view. I ignored imPlied comments about how much time DD spent in a baby carrier. Guess what? She's 21 months and she doesn't use it anymore. We did have to do some traIning but we did it at the age appropriate time and in the age appropriate way. Hang in there. The first few weeks /months are hard.

#12 Feefifofum

Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:47 PM

Is she showing signs of reflux at all? (Google it, lots of info). The reason I ask is because reflux bubs often have trouble lying flat, as that's when the acidic refluxing starts, causing pain. My bub, who does have reflux, would settle when held because it was more vertical, but couldn't sleep lying down. We has a similar witching hour (four hours, actually), which would last until the wee hours, when she was so exhausted she just had to sleep. Apart from medication, some tricks that worked for me, that might help your baby (even if she isn't refluxing) were:

- Wearing her in a hug-a-bub during some sleep times, so she at least got some decent rest, and could then settle better. You might be able to manage this for a few hours before you also need to go to bed.

- Laying down with her nestled in the crook of my arm (which worked because it's not quite horizontal), rocking her if she stirred, then after she was sound asleep, lowering her on to the bed and letting her sleep there. This was safe for my bub because she didn't roll around. I'd fence her in with pillows.

- Tilting up one end of the bassinet/cot mattress so she wasn't completely flat helped a bit.

- Many a night I'd just stay in the bedroom and hold her on me while I sat in bed, or co-slept, and could re-settle her easily. An eReader, iPhone, and a water bottle kept me sane! I tried to view it as enforced time out for me :-)

I hope things get better for you, as it is really hard. It really is true what they say: "This too shall pass"

#13 nen-c

Posted 30 December 2012 - 06:06 PM

QUOTE (Toothfairy01 @ 27/12/2012, 07:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks nen-c! Did you do anything to "train" your bub? So many people are criticising us for spoiling her but we just cant put her down until she's ready or she screams the house down and then vomits.

She self-settles when she chooses, but never at that time.


Sorry OP - I forgot to check back in!!  I didn't do anything to "train" him until much later - like 8 or 10 months, with fairly limited success. He also got totally hysterical when we left the room or he was left to cry and took so long to calm down it was never worth it. I found it much less stressful to accept that he needed cuddles or a breast feed to settle and just go work on reducing the time it took to get him to sleep.
Good luck

Edited by nen-c, 30 December 2012 - 06:07 PM.


#14 FiFiLicious

Posted 30 December 2012 - 10:30 PM

OP! My baby is 7 months and remarkably my memory is fading already!!

I had DS in a portable bassinet for months. (pram bassinet to be perfectly honest!) so I could lift and wiggle and pat etc all whilst watching my fav friends episode.  I slept on the couch for 3 months to do this, it was just easier to accept that I wasn't " going to bed"  just resting my eyes...


If its not too late I recommend hiring a capsule, just gives you a bit more time to rest if you don't have to transfer. I didn't have one with my # 1 and swore I would with # 2 - 5 yrs later, I did and it was ( is) a godsend. At most, he was/is in there for 3 hrs once every couple of days. You learn when it's "safe" to do the transfer which you can do cot side rather than go from car to parent to bedroom ( and various stimulating moments on the way)

Sling always worked! Always. I never needed to use it at night but I did " cosleep" in the most dangerous way ( on the couch) in desperate moments. The white noise and snuggle bed were useless for us, he was happy ON me, hence the super dangerous cosleeping exercise ( by god it works though!!!)
But a sling and a rocking chair is the biz. ( until bub's gets too heavy)

My baby was 2 months prem so this phase lasted double the time.  I enlisted night nannies to give me a break ( best money spent even if you don't have any money!!) and my family were fantastic in just taking the baby for an hour during the day  and or pick up and drop off my Dd to school so that I didn't have to get dressed etc, as feeding in the early days took over an hour.  You need to learn to ask for help from those who are around. The majority of people do feel so good doing something to help so that you can deal better with this phase. Ask someone to come over and look after baby while you sleep that 3 hr block. Get earplugs!!

You don't say if your baby takes a dummy?  What a wonderful invention that one is. I use ours ( even now) when he needs it ( which for you might be the wee hours) never when he is awake and only as a settling tool.  Also don't unwrap prematurely, it's such a security and offer nothing " bad" that I can tell?.

And finally! It ends!! So do what you need to do to get through ( safely). NBs don't know time, night from day or the concept of spoiling. They are a bit like goldfish at this age and live moment by moment as long as you are there for them all. The. Time. - they are secure and don't need to remember how they got to sleep the nap before the last, as long as sleep came and boob not long after waking ( or in our case bottle)
It ended for us at about 4 months ( 2 months corrected) he did have reflux and in and out of hospital since birth but there was a significant shift for us at 4 months.  
No need to train your baby but it doesn't hurt to follow self settling techniques for age appropriate babies. Tresillian are a great resource for this so tap in via web if you can.

GL!






2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.