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Presents for the children
Is there an age cut off?


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52 replies to this topic

#1 FiFiLicious

Posted 21 December 2012 - 10:56 PM

Hi!
So my inlaws are awesome, they have kids who have left school and their ages range from 18 to 24. My kid(s) are 16 6  and zero . In my mind, when you say kid present only" you mean little- teens..... So, I was thinking this year that for the "kids " they might be ok with $$ no matter how much.
However - the requests are

Kid 22yr and kid 18 - " no cash pls, just gift card."  (Wtf??) yeah ok,

Kid 24yr and kid 20 - cash please, I am  broke and need a holiday .  ( ive only had 5 since working there?!)




Petty petty petty , I know

#2 Heather11

Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:10 PM

DH and I have decided over 18s (nieces/nephews) are no longer included.

It is just getting too expensive especially when some of them have partners too.

#3 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:19 PM

Once over 18, into the family Kris Kringle they go. It just gets out of hand otherwise.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:39 PM

I think if they're over 18 they should be contributing to the
Kris Kringle.

#5 tibs

Posted 22 December 2012 - 12:06 AM

My nieces/nephews are 4, 8, 10, 12 and 22.  Since there is only one that is older I still include them in the gift giving.  I buy presents for the youngest and visa gift cards or cash for the older ones as my children are only under school age so I wouldn't have the foggiest what to get tweens/teens.

#6 Gudrun

Posted 22 December 2012 - 01:38 AM

Child is 0-17.

#7 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 22 December 2012 - 02:31 AM

yeah I think 18 and over aswell.

#8 iwanttosleepin

Posted 22 December 2012 - 02:37 AM

we only give presents to the kids - and probably up to about age 14 or so.  If we were seeing them on the day maybe a voucher after this age.

I don't give my siblings presents.  We did secret santa until this year but now everyone has kids we just give kid presents.

My MIL seems to think her 34 year old son likes a stocking full of crap every year........

#9 BadCat

Posted 22 December 2012 - 05:11 AM

We cut nieces and nephews off at 18 as well.

#10 notorico

Posted 22 December 2012 - 05:43 AM

I don't have nieces and nephews that age, but I really can't imagine I would stop buying for them because they reach a certain age. I buy for them because I enjoy it, I don't think that will change.

I think if they are buying for your kids, they will be buying three presents yet you will have to buy none, so I would be inclined to continue on that basis.

#11 2plusoops

Posted 22 December 2012 - 05:57 AM

We haven't bought for adults in a number of years.  We do a Kris Kringle - $15 limit and we do two rounds - having one round a 'desirable' present and the other can be either desirable or something fun/a joke type present.  The presents are more a token thing but we have fun with it.

We also buy for the kids.  In this case, the kids names are put into a hat and we each draw a name.  We each contribute $10 to each child's present but they get one present from us all.

I have a large number of sblings and we all have kids, so buying for everyone was getting way to expensive.  Also the kids end up getting way too much stuff, half of which they dont need.  Once a child is out of school and working they go into the adult Kris Kringle unless they ask to go in earlier.  This works for our family, everyone still has fun and gets a present, but we've found the focus is taken off the presents and put onto having fun.  The kids no longer expect a heap of stuff, instead get excited about playing with their cousins especially as we usually go to my brother's and he has a pool!!

#12 vitaechel

Posted 22 December 2012 - 06:30 AM

Over 18 goes into the Adult Kris Kringle. In my family it would be crazy if we didn't have a cut off. This year we have given a small present to my siblings and parents as well as nieces and nephew, but that is rare (It's our first Christmas away from them, so we are feeling the love). On DH's side we are giving his sister and BIL a present as well as niece, because they are joining us for Christmas lunch, but his other siblings (and nieces and nephews) are all interstate and will receive a card only.

#13 laridae

Posted 22 December 2012 - 06:43 AM

Over 18 are not 'kids' - they should either join the adult secret santa or not get presents if you don't do presents for adults.

I can see that they might think its unfair that they still have to buy for your kids, but you don't buy for theirs - but I'm assuming you've been buying for their kids before you had any.  So it evens out in the end.

#14 MrsLexiK

Posted 22 December 2012 - 06:49 AM

My mums side it is once you have left school. So I finished in yr 12 and went into the family Kris Kringle but at the sametime so did a cousin who left school early. My DH side it is once you get to 18 you no longer get a present and have to bring something to contribute. But there would easily be 100 people over 4 generations and we do a Kris Kringle for the kids.

ETA: my dads side we used to buy something for the kids and the oldies, but those nights stopped when I was about 15. Hon immediate family my uncle always brought for me and my sister. But we were the only two blood nieces and we have always given each other presents.

Edited by MrsLexiK, 22 December 2012 - 06:53 AM.


#15 FiFiLicious

Posted 22 December 2012 - 07:13 AM

Just to clarify, my nieces and nephews don't buy for my little ones BUT their parents do of course.  I would never say anything to them because it's not worth rocking that apple cart. It just seems weird ( to me) apparently we stop buying for the nieces/nephews when they have kids and then we can re-divert gift giving to them. ( their children)

#16 Studybug

Posted 22 December 2012 - 07:17 AM

My bro and I are the youngest in a large family, and with older siblings having children very young and my mum being a single mum/grandma, we stopped being included in the kids gift giving when we were about 15.  The kids from then on were the grandkids/nephews/nieces. We were totally fine with this as we'd get excited getting gifts for the little ones.  So yes, I think over 18s being included as kids in the gift-giving is a bit rich.  

Sorry, are these "kids" your DH's nieces/nephews or siblings?  Trying to figure out if they go by the mindset of which generation they fall into (nieces/nephews/grandkids with the littlies vs siblings).

#17 FiFiLicious

Posted 22 December 2012 - 07:23 AM

These are DHs siblings children.  His other 3 siblings met their partners in their teens and are now approaching 30 yr anniversaries!! We married 6 yrs ago so behind the 8 ball a bit by comparison.  Our 16 yr old is my step son.... They are all in late 40s/50s. DH is the youngest at 46.

Edited by FiFiLicious, 22 December 2012 - 07:25 AM.


#18 Luci

Posted 22 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

I am also in the camp of once you hit 18, you are considered an adult as far as gift giving goes, and receive the same treatment as the other adults, whether that be kris kringle, or no gifts, whatever.

I think though it is a good idea to warn kids in advance it is going to happen once they are 18. I can remember the Christmas that I was 18 just assuming I would get gifts from all my aunts and uncles etc like I always had and being a bit upset when I didn't get anything.  I was OK with it - but would have been nice to know beforehand IYKWIM.

Luci

#19 FiFiLicious

Posted 22 December 2012 - 07:43 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 22/12/2012, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If they're working, definitely cut off.

Sadly in a couple of cases, earning more than us ( and working very hard to do so)

They ( the whole family) are wonderful and we don't do birthdays very well so it's not a great deal, but I am surprised that there hasn't been more of a discussion around it.  DHs mother was really offended when I mentioned to her that perhaps the older crew could be left off the list next year? Didn't go down well at all!

#20 HubbaBubbaMumma

Posted 22 December 2012 - 07:53 AM

In my dads family we instigated a rule - no pressies unless you were under 18 and over 80!

#21 choccy2

Posted 22 December 2012 - 08:03 AM

I don't buy for my adult nieces and nephews - only for their kids (my great nieces and nephews) and my kids (which I'll do no matter how old they are)
adults i.e  18 + don't get pressies - (only within their own unit ie mum/ dad/siblings/ friends )
too expensive with a large extended family

#22 Harmonica

Posted 22 December 2012 - 08:15 AM

+18 time to join the Kris Kringle, Secret Santa system or whatever happens in your particular family!

When they have children, then gift giving can occur for those little ones again.


(Except for my own children of course, I'll continue to buy for them!)

Edited by Riley'smum, 22 December 2012 - 08:15 AM.


#23 Julie3Girls

Posted 22 December 2012 - 08:20 AM

For nieces and nephews, I'd say 18 is the cutoff. Our oldest nephew will hit this next year. Although to be honest, I'll probably still buy something little, even if it is just one of those chocolate stockings original.gif

We dont do the middle level at all (ie, siblings), we do buy for our parents.

#24 Baggy

Posted 22 December 2012 - 08:38 AM

I wish we could do 'kids only' but my family are mostly adults. All the adults buy for each other, even if we tell them to only get the girls something, everyone usually gets DP and I something too.

Makes Christmas pretty expensive for us.



#25 Lady Excentrique

Posted 22 December 2012 - 08:42 AM

I have BIL's and SIL's ranging from 22 yrs to 4.

DH and I decided, once they are out of school, they don't get a gift from us, UNLESS they give gifts to our kids in which case we will reciprocate. Only one of them does this. (This is not something we have announced though)




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