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Nearly 8yo girl still wetting at night - any others?

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#1 bee76

Posted 20 December 2012 - 09:23 PM

Hi all, this is my first time in the TT threads.

My nearly 8 year old daughter has trouble with night time wetting.  She has occasional issues during the day when she doesn't quite make it to the loo in time, but the biggest problem is nights.

We're now onto our third go with the enurensis alarm due to relapses.  She's achieved dryness twice (the first time at age 6 - before then she wet every night), and has had multiple relapses in the last couple of years but only two longer term ones.  Her younger sister has been dry day and night since before she turned three, and I think that does my older daughter's head in a bit.

Our hearts break for her, as it really, really upsets her that she hasn't been able to stay dry.  My feeling is that it is partly something that will only correct itself with time - her Dad and her female cousin both also had trouble. and I'm not sure who else in the family.  Her Dad didn't get dry until he was nearly at the end of primary school and he now suffers from insomnia and what he terms "a small bladder".  Although she didn't test positive to any health triggers at first, we just got a referral for a paed to see if medication or something else might help.

As well as wanting to help and support her to achieve dryness, we want to ensure her emotional wellbeing over time as well.  She recently read a book about a boy who used the alarm, and was supported by his best friend who, coincidentally, also was a night wetter and they helped each other.  She'd love to speak with someone else who understands what it's like but of course it's a massively taboo subject - I'm barely allowed to acknowledge it to her Dad let alone anyone else, she is intensively private about it (understandably).

This may be a bit of an out-there idea, but if anyone else is in, or has been in, a similar situation and their child would be willing to share (by proxy through this thread), I think she'd really appreciate it.

Any tips or ideas, or shared experiences also welcome.

Thanks original.gif

#2 emnut

Posted 20 December 2012 - 09:46 PM

are you using a continence clinic/nurse in conjunction with the alarm?  I know we find with DS (9 year old) that when we have the alarm we are super strict in monitoring his fluid intake which we know to be a large part of his problem (he doesn't drink anywhere near enough) but after he is dry for a while we tend to get a bit complacent and he starts being wet again.  We have only discovered this with filling out the diary we have to for fluid intake/urine output as we start the alarm process again.

DS has definitely found it helpful having a friend to talk to - he & a good friend have competitions to see who can be dry for the longest, but it was only through talking to the school that we discovered that he was also having issues (they only knew from a sleepover).

Seeing a paed about it now is definitely a good idea, although ours that DS has seen since birth just wants us to persevere with the continence clinic for now.

#3 intrigued

Posted 20 December 2012 - 09:50 PM

I think this is probably more common than you think.
My partner's DD2 recently turned 7 and only rarely has a dry night. She usually wears a nappy at night because we find that it is too distressing for her when she wakes and has wet the bed, has interrupted sleep etc.
She is fine during the day - most days anyway with only the occasional accident.
She does not yet seem to be too concerned about wearing nappies, occassionally she wants to try without but after a couple of nights of bedwetting we usually go back to her wearing them.
We've tried the alarm but they don't really work for us.
We've also been to the GP who said that it is really very common..

Sorry that I can't be of more help, I think what must worry you is that your daughter is so distressed about it (a problem that we luckily don't have yet).. Going to see a specialist to rule out physical problems and / or a psychologist might be the next step for you?

Good luck.

#4 findingada

Posted 21 December 2012 - 07:43 AM

Like others have suggested, I think you should follow up with the referral to the paed and get your partner to talk to a doctor about it too (for example, it could point to your partner having sleep apnoea). I was also having a discussion with a friend recently (noting we are both completely unqualified to talk about the subject), but we were speculating about whether night lights and any other forms of light at night could interfere with night time training for some children - specifically having a continuous or a movement sensor light turn on through the night in the child's room. It's just something I have always wondered about because I have a few friends who struggle to fully night time train their older children. I also suspect it is quite common too but often not talked about especially as the child gets older. The lack of discussion about older children and night time training makes it harder to collaborate and come up with ideas to help deal with the problem in older children. Best of luck during your investigations.

#5 naturalgoodness

Posted 21 December 2012 - 07:55 AM

DS2 turned 8 this week. He still wets every night. We saw a paediatric urologist a few weeks ago who felt it was still a bit early for her to be seeing him, as unless there is something obviously medically wrong, she would usually not be seeing a child until closer to 9.

After having an ultrasound that included observing kidney function, it was established there was nothing medically wrong, and in the case of DS2 she believes that he does not drink enough liquid during the day to expand the bladder enough to hold overnight.

Her instructions were to make sure that he drinks 1 litre of water over a day, making sure it is complete by dinner time. He can then have 1 drink at dinner but his body should then be hydrated enough to not need another until the next morning. She believes that he will then empty his bladder at bed time, and over a few months it will expand and be able to hold what is produced over night.

She gave us 3 months to try this BEFORE attempting a bed alarm, as she believes bed alarms cause distress if the bladder is not necessary.

Prior to this we had tried the nasal spray - it worked for 1 night.

A friend is also taking her 9 year old to the same urologist who has him on a bed alarm due to age, another friend has a nearly 8 year old who has achieved some success so far with chiropractic treatment.

For me, it was a matter of making sure that there was no defect or medical issue causing the wetting - once this was established I was happy to let nature take its course and see how he goes.

#6 pefeli

Posted 21 December 2012 - 07:55 AM


My 8 and a half year old dd still wets the bed. Her younger brother also night time trained at 3. She has family history of bed wetting too.

My DD has seen a chiropractor which seemed to help and then it didn't - she went back to nightly wetting. It has only been in the last few months that she is not wetting nightly. We use a bed mat (no alarms, just one to soak up the wee) and when she sleeps over elsewhere she wears a night nappy.

My DD prefers others to not to know she wets the bed but has said it at a sleepover party because another child was being teased. I was proud of her for that!

Good luck.

#7 laridae

Posted 21 December 2012 - 03:02 PM

I was a bed wetter.  Very little worked, the alarm certainly didn't!

The doctor (this was 25 years ago!) suggested doing pelvic floor exercises, but again, don't think it helped much.

I grew out of it about the same time I started going through puberty.  So about 12.

My dad was the same, he wet his until he was about 15!  

So its not unusual - its just not talked about as its embarrassing.

#8 lucky 2

Posted 26 December 2012 - 07:09 PM

I don't make a big deal of it to dd who is 8. She is heavily wet most nights.
After reading this thread I shoukld start a water/drinking chart as I don't think she drinks enough water during the day, she just gets too distracted and then drinks more at night.
She is not upset, ashamed or bothered about it, it's just her, we've got camp this year so I'll get some help before that if needed, ? with a nasal spray for the 2 nights she is away.
I know an incontinence nurse who'll I see closer to 9 if it is still needed.
It is also in the family and they know's this. She isn't interested in sleep overs as yet which is good.

#9 cazbabslong

Posted 29 December 2012 - 04:25 PM

2 boys here who still wet every night. Ds1 is nearly 9 and DS2 is 7.5. We have an appointment with a 'wee' doctor in Jan. Have been through2 alarms with DS1, he just doesn't wake up. I agree it is very frustrating and i must affect self esteem.

#10 bee76

Posted 29 December 2012 - 08:42 PM

Thank you all so much.  I am nearly in tears reading your replies, it is so good to hear from others who understand or have experienced similar issues.  It means a lot.

In positive news, my daughter has just achieved 9 continuous dry nights again.  We still have the mat on her bed, with the alarm on.  She raged against it for the first couple of days and we gave her the choice not to have it, but reminded her that it had worked in the past and she kept it (initially with bad grace, but happily now).

I have become a complete "drink" dragon over the last couple of years: always nagging her (and her sister) to drink more.  It's easier to keep track of when she is at home, and maybe that is part of our recent success - she's on school holidays.  We are seeing the Wetaway clinic, and the nurses there have monitored and supported my daughter's progress.  One of them gave us the paed referral.

After reading your comments, I will definitely get the paed appointment for my daughter, once the practice reopens.  As someone said, it will be good to completely eliminate medical reasons.  If there is nothing medically wrong, we can hopefully help her to accept that some things just take time.

My sister in law is planning a cousins' sleep over these holidays, and I really hope she can stay dry for that.  She is really looking forward to it.

Thanks again all, for providing a listening ear and empathetic comments!  bbighug.gif

#11 bee76

Posted 29 December 2012 - 08:45 PM

QUOTE (pefeli @ 21/12/2012, 08:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DD prefers others to not to know she wets the bed but has said it at a sleepover party because another child was being teased. I was proud of her for that!

That was incredibly brave of your daughter, if she is anything like as private as mine.  Rightly proud original.gif

#12 mumandboys

Posted 29 December 2012 - 09:07 PM

My 9 year old still wets frequently (probably 4 nights out of 7).

We've seen a urologist and she says he has a small bladder.  We've tried to stretch it by giving him more water, but he's still had no success so we're about to start the alarm training.

I feel for DS as he's the oldest.  His younger brothers 7 and 4 have been night dry since they were 3.  It's really difficult and I can see it affecting his overall confidence and self esteem.

I hope to kick it with the alarm training.  DS is very motivated so I'm pretty positive about it.

#13 meemee75

Posted 30 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

My MIL who is 64yrs old wet the bed until she was 13yrs old. She was quite pleased DD was night dry at 3 1/2 yrs becauseshe was worried it was genetic. Dp never wet ythe bed although he has what he calls a small bladder .& wakes 1-4 times a night to pass urine. At my urging He's seen a urologist and had investigations done like a cystoscopy...even trialled some drugs. Nothing was found during the scope & the drugs  made no difference. Maybe some people just wee more  at night?
I feel for you OP, hope she becomes night dry in the near future.

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