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just an easy baby?


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#51 ms flib

Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:42 AM

I agree that you need to be mindful about how you talk about your great experience to other new mothers.

Having had 3 kids, I thought the baby stage was the easiest! It gets more complex as you go along!

All the best

#52 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

QUOTE (Spring Chickadee @ 20/12/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Before My Baby boy arrived last month everyone warned me how terrible the first few months are, how difficult they found coping, how they didn’t feel human, how their relationship struggled, how the sleep deprivation feels like a form of torture but that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The friends I visited always looked like they had been hit by a truck, or felt scared to have a second child given how stressful the newborn period was for their first. So I went into labour expecting for things to be really hard for a while.


I also felt apprehensive before this LO came as I had a tough time with DS1 due to my horrible lack of knowledge and understanding towards babies, but it turned out much better than I have expected.
QUOTE (Spring Chickadee @ 20/12/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So it leaves me wondering, is my baby just easy?


I kept telling DH this Lo is such a good baby, he sleeps pretty well for naps and night. But I am not sure if it is because I am more knowledgeable this time and can meet his needs better to avoid a cranky baby and frustrated parents. Whatever it is, I am truly savouring every moment of motherhood this time.

Our bfg didnt go well as planned but I am still bfg and we really enjoy the bonding (he's now snuggled up here supported with the breastfeeding pillow as I type.) I am so glad it is going well with you.


QUOTE (Spring Chickadee @ 20/12/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He has fussy unsettled days where he’ll scream and cling to me all day long, then happy days that he is alert and cheery
On a handful of days I’ve felt very tired, carried him all day and not had a shower
Most days I go out the either a café, a friends, the shops or mother group. Today I went into the office for 6 hours for the mental stimulation. My baby goes everywhere with me.

Yes some days I feel tired, most I don’t. Some nights I feel a little stressed if he is crying excessively, but I generally feel calm and do whateve ri nee dto help make him calm also. Yes my hormones have made me moody at times, but that’s to be expected and I’ve gotten over it quickly.  Yes he relies on me 24hours a day and is attached to my breasts for feeding and comfort, but Isn’t that exactly what I signed up for.


TBH my LO hasnt had days where he cried for a long time since his birth. In fact I wonder if he is going to go into that phase at all. He only has fussy times in the early mornings where I would bring him to bed with me and nurse him and have a sleep together. Other than that, he's so perfect. He is loud and fierce if we dont get him but He is also easily settled. At the back of my mind, i wonder when things are going to take a turn (I hope not!).



QUOTE (Spring Chickadee @ 20/12/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH and I haven't fought or snapped at all. we still snuggle and feel very much in love, if anything moreso.


DH and I have had exchanges and I have cried, but more cos he was impatient with bub and not on the same page with me, but it has since got better. IT's great that your DH and you are having a fine time. With babies in our life, it can be more challenging, but your relationship seems to be thriving. original.gif


QUOTE (Spring Chickadee @ 20/12/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So am I just missing something or is he just a super easy baby? Is this actually the easy part and it gets harder soon?


I think I am on cloud nine at the moment. Things may or may not change but I am enjoying every moment nonetheless. But I totally agree with you about the calmness. I find that when I speak calmly to my baby close to his ear, he really can sense it and he can seriously understand! And he calms down too. Our tone and attitude matter.

I can foresee things to get tougher when they start rolling and climbing and throwing and walking...right now they are pretty much confined and helpless and it's actually the easy part. original.gif

Edited by Mum2TwoDSs, 21 December 2012 - 11:50 AM.


#53 TotesFeral

Posted 21 December 2012 - 12:50 PM

I agree with PPs. I don't think your bub is easy at all, but I do think you have done yourself a big favour by coming into this with really good expectations on what you may have to deal with, and therefore you have dealt with it really well. Which is great!
But I know I for one would be super stressed if I had a baby that needed to be held and nursed constantly. Only because I also have DD to look after so just don't have that luxury of only giving all my attention to one child.

Right now I'm finding DS to be an extremely easy baby. He catnaps during the day for some naps but does generally have a big sleep in the middle. He goes to bed at the same time as DD (7pm) and self settles (he insists on having his dummy for day sleeps though). And he only wakes up once for a feed.
He has so far been a lot easier than DD was. But babies like to constantly change things on us so I'm keeping myself realistic that this may not last.

#54 password123

Posted 21 December 2012 - 01:08 PM

I am in a similar frame of mind.
I feel like DD was/is a good baby but in hindsight, there have been some real difficulties such as a tongue tie that meant exclusively pumping for 8 weeks until she was able to latch (despite being snipped at 10 days).  Possetting constantly, colic etc , now a booby addict who wont take her solids, but I've been thinking "meh, people have it worse".
I think struggling to conceive and finally doing so with ivf has made me feel so positive because I feel so incredibly lucky to have her.
I had a terrible birth too but I don't care, she's here and we are both healthy so I would do it exactly the same all over again if i needed to. I'm sure women left traumatised by a terrible birth wouldn't like to hear me say that either, but why lie just to "fit in"?

#55 lady lady

Posted 21 December 2012 - 01:35 PM

QUOTE (Spring Chickadee @ 20/12/2012, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So am I just missing something or is he just a super easy baby? Is this actually the easy part and it gets harder soon?


I would say your baby is just that  - a baby.  A baby isn't easy or hard  - it's more about you as a parent and your coping levels and support network.

I think you will also find most people actually do find that it was easy on relflection just not "in the moment" ...

#56 Cat People

Posted 21 December 2012 - 01:41 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 21/12/2012, 12:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just on a point that some PPs have raised, I don't see why mothers, or parents generally, should have to hide their enjoyment of parenting, just in case others aren't coping (especially if those others have given no indication they are not coping - how are we meant to know?!) It is not up to the general public to stop speaking about happy things, so those not happy aren't exposed to knowing there are actually happy, coping parents out there.


I agree with this.  I find it sad the OP is being told to hide her joy.  Sure don't go around all superior and smug, but why not celebrate and express your happiness at motherhood?


#57 rosiebird

Posted 21 December 2012 - 08:09 PM

I had a similar experience to you OP. Apart from week 3 which was unbelievably hard, I found the whole newborn time cruisy and an absolute joy - and this was despite studying and sitting  exams at 9 weeks! But I had a huge amount of support from DP and my parents which made life easy and I had done a medical internship so life with a newborn wasn't the most exhausted or sleep deprived I've been.

#58 2bundles

Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:25 PM

I wouldn't/didn't cope well with a baby as you describe. Feeding constantly, waking several times a night, needing constant holding etc. well done op.

Edited by 2bundles, 21 December 2012 - 11:25 PM.


#59 porkchop's mama

Posted 22 December 2012 - 03:06 PM

QUOTE (rosiebird @ 21/12/2012, 09:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had a similar experience to you OP. Apart from week 3 which was unbelievably hard, I found the whole newborn time cruisy and an absolute joy - and this was despite studying and sitting  exams at 9 weeks! But I had a huge amount of support from DP and my parents which made life easy and I had done a medical internship so life with a newborn wasn't the most exhausted or sleep deprived I've been.


So glad to hear this rosiebird.  I've survived internship, nights, being the night med reg, clincials and then on call consultant.  I will survive.

#60 Cath42

Posted 22 December 2012 - 03:24 PM

I'm so glad to read that things are going well, OP. It sounds as though you have a fairly typical baby!

I think that how well mothers cope is determined by a lot of things other than the baby himself or herself. Birth trauma and breastfeeding difficulties can take a terrible toll, as can lack of practical or financial support. And exhaustion can be a cumulative thing: a mother who already has at least one child goes into a subsequent pregnancy already suffering from a permanent degree of exhaustion. Second/third/fourth pregnancies are very different to first pregnancies, simply because there's no time to rest. The surrounding circumstances really can make an incredible difference to an individual's capacity to cope.

*Edited to add: Mothers groups are political and emotional hotbeds, where things are seldom as they seem. Some, if not many, of these women will be struggling at home in ways they will never admit to. Some will have partners who are completely unsupportive. Some will be struggling financially. Some will be having terrible trouble with breastfeeding or feeling enormous guilt about formula feeding. Some will be reliving traumatic births day after day. Some will have post natal depression. Some of them will be putting on brave faces when inside they are screaming and suffocating and wanting to cry all day. Many mothers who smile when they say they're struggling or who complain and then say "But that's okay. He's healthy and that's all that matters" are actually feeling a lot worse than they let on. That doesn't mean you should hide the fact that you're really enjoying these early weeks. It just means that you need to tread carefully.

Edited by Cath42, 22 December 2012 - 03:34 PM.





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