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Facebook envy
Do you get it? How to get over it?


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129 replies to this topic

#1 3rd time lucky

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:37 AM

I think I'm turning into a grunmpy old hag...

I've noticed I'm starting to get grumpy and envious of friend's facebook updates etc, instead of thinking 'wow, what great news for them'....

My own life is great... of course there's the usual stresses of finances over Christmas, kids bugging me haha.... but certainly no worse / harder than any other family.... And I'm sure others would look at my life and think I've got it great.

I think what annoys me is people bragging on facebook. If I chat to a friend in real life and they tell me about some good news I am genuinely happy for them. It's more the 'I'm posting about how wonderful my life is on Facebook for all to see' updates that seem to irk me.

Anyways, anyone else feel this way????? How do you deal with it, short of getting rif of facebook?
I'm not on it much but do need it to stay in touch with certain people interstate and overseas.



#2 steppy

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:41 AM

I have a hard and fast rule when reading facebook updates - if anyone is continually posting yaypositive updates, there is something wrong in their life that they are publicly trying to cover or make up for. Haven't been wrong yet.

I do get jealous of friends who travel a lot though. Nothing I can do about that except try and travel more!

#3 Satay chicken

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:42 AM

QUOTE (3rd time lucky @ 20/12/2012, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Anyways, anyone else feel this way?????


Not really - I just laugh because most of it is just fake and attention seeking!

I have a FB friend and every second day she goes on about how fabulous her life is, photos of her walking on the beach, drinking her wine etc.... actually, she just comes across as really bored...

#4 mandarins

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:42 AM

No. I never envy what I see on FB because it is well known that people only share what they want to about their lives. And even if you ask someone in real life how its going, they will often do the same.

And if someone is a bragger, then take that to mean they 'feel a need' to show off. And if it bothers you that much just unfriend or block them.



#5 CupOfCoffee

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:45 AM

QUOTE (steppy @ 20/12/2012, 11:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have a hard and fast rule when reading facebook updates - if anyone is continually posting yaypositive updates, there is something wrong in their life that they are publicly trying to cover or make up for.


You can tell how sad my life is when my last yay update was: 'yay, no more overdue library book, I love the amnesty'.

Not sure it would make people jealous, it would just confirm how dull my life actually is laugh.gif

#6 Tesseract

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:47 AM

QUOTE (steppy @ 20/12/2012, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have a hard and fast rule when reading facebook updates - if anyone is continually posting yaypositive updates, there is something wrong in their life that they are publicly trying to cover or make up for. Haven't been wrong yet.


Exactly this. The more someone posts about how wonderful their life is, the worse it is in reality. In fact when friends start going on about how great things are I know they're on the downhill slope. The odd yay post here and there is fine, but much more and they're only trying to convince one person - themselves. Just hide their statuses if they're annoying you.

#7 SophieBear

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:51 AM

The travelling friends annoy me. But then again I do it while away too.

I had a cousin who was in Paris and she wrote her status, "Went up the Eiffel Tower, walked along the Champs Elysse and went for a cruise on the Seine. What did you do today?" and then the next day "Paris is amazing, so much to do. Go out and live your lives people, stop looking at mine".

Honestly! I am jealous but she looked like a giant t*at. So I unfriended her.

ETA: The funniest thing is when ppl are at a party saying how awesome it is but then post heaps of pictures that night and have conversations on FB. Sitting on your phone all night doesn't seem like that party is too exciting/fun to me!

Edited by SophieBeagle, 20 December 2012 - 11:55 AM.


#8 lorywhol

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:53 AM

Really?

How about just feeling happy for someone when they are happy? Or compassionate for someone when they are sad?

I don't know anyone who is positive all the time on FB.

Everyone goes through stages and phases.

You celebrate with them when they are having their glass of wine, relaxing at the beach or bragging about their latest purchase.

And you commiserate with them when their kids are being cheeky, they have had an argument or a bad day at work.



#9 Peridot

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:54 AM

Wow she does sound like a t*at!

Most of my friends have just as many depressing statuses as happy ones, so I have no envy!

It does irk me when a few of them complain non stop about having no money and how crap their lives are..

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:56 AM

Why do people take FB so seriously?

#11 countrymel

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:56 AM

I'm equally jealous in person as I am on Facebook!

I don't have a vast array of FB friends though, they are just my real friends so I just roll with it.


If someone has posted a 'Look at me!' status I just hide it. Or call them out on it! (as I said before my FB friends are my real life friends, so I can do that without fearing the response.)



#12 snuffles

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:57 AM

The only thing that irks me a bit is when friends who have told me that they are too busy to catch up at the moment (which would be fine), then post on facebook about all having gotten together for a social function of some sort or another without me.  (The ones who are local to me, not the ones interstate and overseas, lol).  I think I need *some* new friends.

#13 Overtherainbow

Posted 20 December 2012 - 11:58 AM

I don't like the constant whinge on fb from some people.  They always look at situations from 1/2 empty perspective and only write the downs.

I only put the positives.  It does not mean my life is all good. It means I want to only focus on the good.  I assume others on fb are doing the same.

#14 BadCat

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:02 PM

Just recognise that most people, unless they are extremely boring, only post the best and worst bits of their lives.  For every "yay I just went skiing" there's dozens of times where they just did the washing up that they don't bother posting about.


#15 charlottesmum04

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:04 PM

Eh, i mostly look at facebook like a job interview, your only ever going to hear the good stuff.  My really close friends created a secret closed group where we post status's with the real stuff.  What goes on my wall is sanitized because of the wide variety of 'friends' that see it.  Family, friends and work dont all need to see/know the same level of stuff going on in my life.

#16 Wigglemama

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

LOL don't worry OP, I took someone off my news feed as I was sick of her gloating about her amazing kids, life , cars, new houses, stupendous career, where she earnt loads of money, travelling all over the world to beautiful, exotic locations but still missing her gorgeous (he's not) hubby.

It wasn't that I was jealous of her, just that she was annoying and her gloating made her sound like a huge tool. I couldn't delete because her so called "gorgeous" hubby is a friend of my dh.

Edited by Wigglemama, 20 December 2012 - 12:07 PM.


#17 Jax12

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 20/12/2012, 09:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm equally jealous in person as I am on Facebook!


Me too!  original.gif

QUOTE (Overtherainbow @ 20/12/2012, 09:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't like the constant whinge on fb from some people.  They always look at situations from 1/2 empty perspective and only write the downs.

I only put the positives.  It does not mean my life is all good. It means I want to only focus on the good.  I assume others on fb are doing the same.

I agree with this - not a fan of the constant whingeing, woe is me posts.  

I have seen some pretty gratuitous  bragging on FB but I don't see anything wrong with sharing good news or focusing on the positive.  

Sorry to hear you're feeling affected by FB...maybe take a few days off?

#18 Nora.

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

I seriously don't get the snarkiness that so many EB'ers have over FB. Either you're a seriously miserable bunch or you need to choose your friends better.

Honestly, nobody on my FB is over the top when it comes to what they post. Just day to day stuff. If they're having a good time then I'm genuinely happy for them. They may be like me, and prefer not to use FB as a whinging platform. I generally only post positive stuff. I'm not trying to pretend my life is perfect or be somebody I'm not, I just don't feel the need to share that my husband has shat me because he never picks up his clothes, the kids are whining, we can't pay our bills etc. I'd rather say we had a fab day in the city, I'm proud of my children for doing XYZ, I'm loving the weather etc.

I see so much bitterness towards FB on EB. It's totally unnecessary.

#19 jai*

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

I have just posted on FB this week about being able to go to Paris next year.
I don't post about the daily struggles I have with infertility.

So yes, my FB is a very positively skewed look at my life.

While I was in NYC an old school friend posted "it looks like you havea fabulous life!" - this did upset me a little, because I would kill for her life as a mother. And I responded honestly - back to the boring routine and every day problems soon!

But I prefer to keep my problems to myself. Even in real life.

#20 ~TSC~

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

Not so much FB but I do see a lot of things on blogs and IG that can make me feel dissatisfied with what I have.  I have a friend who on the surface everything looks perfect but I know it is far from it - it's a bit lesson I have learnt this year

#21 boatiebabe

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:10 PM

I would not be envious about people's fantasy facebook lives.  wink.gif


#22 Magnus

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:10 PM

The PPs comment about why we can't just be happy for people does make me think.

I am actually happy for people when they seem genuine and they post positive things, even if it's something I'm really jealous of like overseas travel. And there is A LOT of overseas travel going on on my fb feed at the moment and it's all the exciting destination sort, not the more banal visiting family kind.

There are just a few people who really irk me. It might just be the way I was brought up to not be boastful. When I was an undergraduate student I would never have dreamed of posting that I got all high distinctions that semester, but I have fb friends who do that every single semester, in a really self-congratulatory way.

I think that if people usually seem genuine then I'm really happy for them if they say something really soppy about their relationship, or talk about their great job, or their fantastic body, or their overseas travel, or whatever. However, when people talk these things up all the time, I find it kind of nauseating. If I wanted to make myself feel good by recognising my achievements, then I might share a few on fb and save the rest for a diary, or for sharing with close friends and family.

I also can't stand the ones who whinge constantly or use fb to demand favours of people all the time.

#23 Ally'smum

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:10 PM

Ha ha, I wouldn't believe anything I read on FB.

We have one person who posts something about how great her life is every day, we are waiting for the breakdown that we know is coming...

The other one lives in a really bad area and is sick of friends and relos badmouthing it, so puts up photos of the park, the lake etc saying how much she loves it. This one I think is more of an F U to people in her life who tell her how bad it is so I think it is fair enough.

Think about it, if people's lives were so great! and fun! and fantastic! wouldn't they just be enjoying it rather than logging on to the internet all the time?

#24 Nora.

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:21 PM

Who says they're logging on all the time?

When I was having a fab time in Paris (don't worry, I don't recall bragging about it), I still had time to go online. Waiting for my family to get ready, when I had insomnia, sitting in a cab, train, bus going somewhere. Why can't you be having fun & still use FB?



#25 ekbaby

Posted 20 December 2012 - 12:21 PM

90% of what I post on Facebook is positive but i don't think that's because I've got some huge secret problem in my life. I mean I have the same problems as many people (money tight, cranky kids, not enough time) but i don't see Facebook as a forum to whinge about those things. If I need support I prefer to speak to a friend in person or one on one. I see Facebook as a bit of lightweight fun and the equivalent of the things you'd tell relos when you catch up with them at Christmas- the nice things, snapshots of the kids etc. Most of the "positive" things I put up are pretty simple like a pic of the kids enjoying water play, something new I cooked, a funny story...I never thought it might be coming across as trying to brag, I just like to keep it mostly light and positive




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