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Feeling Sad for my 7yo.

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#1 fionah

Posted 19 December 2012 - 05:01 PM

I didn't know where to put this. It's a bit of a vent, but also just need somewhere to write down things that are happening. Sorry if things are all over the place.

Today was the last day of school for Ray. We moved here during the last school holidays. I really thought things would be good for him here. The school we moved from is so similar to this school.
Both schools are small schools with just over 50 pupils. Both have 3 composite classes, a K/1, 2/3 and 4/5/6. Ray has been in Year 2 this year with a teaching principle. Both schools he had the teaching principle.
I have been down to the school twice as he has been bullied. Ray has some ASD, OCD and ADD traits, but isn't diagnosed with anything. His paed has referred him to see a psychologist to try and help him with some of his behaviours. Our second session is tomorrow. Ray loves meeting new people and is very polite and good mannered. There are a few kids at this school that are just plain mean. He spent half of his lunch break searching the classroom with his teacher for his pencil case (it wasn't found). It disappeared on Monday. Ray thinks someone has hidden it. When I asked him why he thinks that, he said that it's because heaps of the kids hate him. 3 of the boys actually said they hated  him. My heart is breaking to think that he has been picked on and now these kids have been saying "we hate you Raymond"  sad.gif

We now have the holidays to re-group and work on his exercises from the psychologist, but I am already worried about next year. Going back to where he was isn't an option (unless we win lotto...) but I am already wondering about other small schools in this area for next year.

We moved here as hubby was told he would be getting a transfer to this area. That has fallen through & he is now only home on the weekends, when I go to work. This isn't helping me have a clear head about the right thing to do for Ray, as I feel a bit down not having hubby here as planned and Ray just not having a good time at school.

I am not too sure this principle has really acknowledged how much of an issue this bullying is. I guess I need some tools to deal with this next year. I am hoping the psychologist can help me out with that.

Thank you for reading my post.


#2 nik_klinger

Posted 19 December 2012 - 06:27 PM

Bug hugs Ray, so hard for him to understand, sounds like he has good people around him, big hugs to Mum too, & onwards & upwards for a better 2013.

#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 06:42 PM

Hi Fi:

I am so sorry that you & Ray are going through such a tough time. sad.gif  I hate the thought of a young boy being bullied and socially isolated, especially at a small school where the options to mingle with other kids is somewhat limited. Are there other schools in the area that you could explore?

Our school has a fair number of kids with diagnosed special needs (my daughter being one of them) as well as a fair number of very complicated kids who might be "easy" targets for bullying. One of the things I appreciate most about our school is that our principal is a very caring, hands on leader who sets the tone for the school. That's not to say that there aren't hot spots from time to time, but the school truly does a good job at fostering acceptance & inclusion amongst the kids. If at all possible, look for a school that has a really strong commitment to "pastoral care." Smaller doesn't always been more nurturing.

I hope that the psychologist you are seeing can help you with some of Ray's more challenging behaviors and that there are brighter days ahead for your sweet boy.

#4 baddmammajamma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 06:55 PM

PS: I meant to add a few things in my previous post.

If you ever want to try to get some further clarification on Ray's (potential) special needs, we have an exceptional developmental paed in Caringbah -- not exactly in the next town over from you, I realize, but at least not wildly far. He has a particular interest/expertise in kids with multiple needs.
In our own experiences with our daughter, we have found that having a very accurate "grasp" of her wiring has made it easier for us to understand how to support her.

Are there a few kids at Ray's currrent school who are kind hearted? Perhaps if you try to nuture those friendships outside of school (playdates, meet ups in the park), that will give Ray a bit more social confidence.

I really hope that things improve for both of you soon.

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