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Should I ask MIL to get a booster?
Has refused before


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26 replies to this topic

#1 lovedupmumma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:46 PM

I'm due with #3 in a couple of weeks, and my MIL has told me she's takien all of Jan off to help out. Now when DS2 was born the Dept of Health was offering free boosters for whooping cough for parents and carers because there was a lot about. DH and I and my parents all got them, but at the time my MIL refused to get one as she thinks it will have some side effects or something. I had to tell her at the time that if she had symptoms that she may have even thought was a cold she'd have to stay away until it resolved as whooping cough can present like that in adults.

So there's a lot of whooping cough going about at the moment, and once this baby comes the other kids, DH and I and my folks will all be current for vacs. I know you can still get it if immunised, just a milder case, but should I ask MIL to consider getting a booster this time as she refused last time. If she were to get ill with anything that looks anything like it DH and I will ask her to stay away which seems awful when she's taken the time off to help.

#2 Chief Pancake Make

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:53 PM

Yes you should.  If she cares enough about  your child to want  to come and help for a month she should care enough to  get a booster.

#3 Futureself

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:53 PM

I'd ask again, you have nothing to lose. I got a WC booster pamphlet from my Dr's office that's particularly aimed at Grandparents and printed off some news stories about the epidemic to back up my request. Didn't need them in the end as family obliged no questions asked but perhaps literature may help convince her?

#4 Tesseract

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:56 PM

QUOTE (futureself @ 19/12/2012, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd ask again, you have nothing to lose. I got a WC booster pamphlet from my Dr's office that's particularly aimed at Grandparents and printed off some news stories about the epidemic to back up my request. Didn't need them in the end as family obliged no questions asked but perhaps literature may help convince her?


I would do this too. But I would get your DH to do it, it's his mother.

#5 Justaduck

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:56 PM

Yep we made everyone in the family get one. They were free for parents/grandparents and any adult living in the house at the time of birth. I am in QLD though so might be different in other states.
We just said if they don't get the shot they will not be around DD until she has had hers

#6 Le-a

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:57 PM

Personally, I think I would mention it to her.

When my DS was born two years ago, DH and I got vaxxed, and I mentioned it to my parents (who are both old hippy/anti vaxxers) and they both didn't get it done, mum did about a year later. I wish I was firmer with them to get vaccinated when DS was little and vulnerable. They see him quite a bit and knowing then what I know now of whooping cough, I will be stricter next time we have a newborn.

We also live in a whooping cough "hotspot".

I find it a really difficult conversation to have, because at the end of the day I feels it is up to the individual to decide wether or not they vaccinate themselves, but as a mother it is my responsibility to ensure the risk of contracting WC from someone who my kid sees a lot is minimal.

#7 lovedupmumma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:05 PM

QUOTE
But I would get your DH to do it, it's his mother.


I think this would be the best approach, she can be pretty defensive when I suggest things like this. Also, her daughter is having another baby next year, so it might be good to hear it from her too.

We're not in a 'hotspot' as such, but there is a current epidemic in NSW and it has been in the community (eg my son's school) in the past few years.

QUOTE
I got a WC booster pamphlet from my Dr's office that's particularly aimed at Grandparents and printed off some news stories about the epidemic to back up my request.


Good idea, I'm seeing my OB tomorrow so I'll get something from him. Thanks.

#8 Leela321

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:05 PM

Grab the pamphlet and suggest she speaks with her GP about it. No harm in asking but don't be surprised if she refuses, just explain that you don't want her around baby if she is under the weather.

I prefer people to stay away if under the weather no matter what their vaccination status is. I never asked anyone to get the booster but my DH and I had it and we only had visitors.

#9 twilightangel

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:08 PM

Yes please ask again.

I have just watched my baby boy fighting for his life for the past 6 weeks (from 11 weeks old) in RCH Brisbane. Four of those weeks spent in ICU because he got whooping cough. Its not something I would ever wish anyone to see or go through. It broke my heart seeing my little one struggle to catch his breath and then turn blue. To see the Drs rushing in with the crash cart knowing its for your child cause they need to help him and breath for him again (this happened 4 times).

My family did have their boosters and 2 of my fully vaccinated older kids also got it but because there is an epidemic of whooping cough at the moment my baby still sadly got it. Thankfully my baby is currently sleeping beside me as some babies don't survive whooping cough.

It's a small needle for her, it's a huge fight for a baby.

#10 frizzle

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:11 PM

Yes yes yes. My mum had whooping cough when my sister had a newborn, my nephew was about 4 weeks old and mum hadn't been tested for wc and insisted she was fine, had us all stay for the weekend. How the little guy didn't catch it from her is beyond me. My little boy ended up with a terrible cough shortly after and we had to get him tested.

So yes I would ask or get your dh to. Which reminds me I must see if my parents and mil will get it as I am pregnant.

#11 PurpleNess

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:15 PM

Yes ask, in fact I'd demand it ( so flame me).
No one would be helping me with a newborn baby that didn't have it.
We are in WA & it's rife at the moment.

Perhaps your DH needs to have a word & put his foot down...

Or print off Twighlightangles post & give her that to read!!


#12 lovedupmumma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:15 PM

twilightangel I'm so sorry to hear you've had to go through that! I cannot even imagine how gut wrenching that must have been. Very happy that he has successfully battled through.  biggrin.gif

QUOTE
It's a small needle for her, it's a huge fight for a baby.


Sadly I don't think this is how she sees it, or at least how she saw it 4 years ago when I first asked. I'm not quite sure why she refused, more a general feeling that "immunisations aren't safe".

#13 luke's mummu

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:17 PM

Yes I would ask. My parents did when it was free, inlaws refused as "they don't have any contact with anyone with whooping cough, it's only those dirty migrants that get it". Hmmm.

#14 Soontobegran

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:23 PM

She shouldn't need to be asked  sad.gif



#15 Natttmumm

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:28 PM

My mum got it when i asked her too when DD was born. She later admitted she thought we were over the top but did it to keep the peace.
After all the press about whooping cough etc she told me she's glad she did.
Just insist or there's no looking after bub until after he is immunised. It is her choice and entitled to say no. All you can do is say how you feel.

#16 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:30 PM

I would ask again and I agree that it should come from your DH. He can present a fresh case in light of the current epidemic.

It is your call on what to do if she refuses but as PPs have pointed out, whooping cough in infants is horribly dangerous.

I am sorry you have to chase her up. My parents and in-laws beat a path to their GPs as soon as I was pregnant with DS so I never had to deal with this.

Edited by AllegraM, 19 December 2012 - 04:31 PM.


#17 elle-M

Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:49 PM

Please, please, please insist on it. I am a paediatric nurse who worked in neonates and infants wards and I have looked after too many babies in hospital with whooping cough, some of whom ended up in ICU and never made it home  sad.gif It is such a serious disease.

Politeness and awkward feelings go out the window when my child's health is at risk - get your DH to ask her to do it, and if she refuses, then firmly say that she will be unable to see her grandchild until the baby has had the full course of the pertussis vaccine (6 months).

QUOTE (AllegraM @ 19/12/2012, 02:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My parents and in-laws beat a path to their GPs as soon as I was pregnant with DS so I never had to deal with this.


Mine too, I'm now so, so grateful for this!

#18 3inthebed

Posted 19 December 2012 - 05:01 PM

Does anyone know a link to some literature on the matter so I and anyone else here can present a case to grandparents?

#19 lovedupmumma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 05:12 PM

QUOTE
My parents and in-laws beat a path to their GPs as soon as I was pregnant with DS so I never had to deal with this.


I wish! To be fair we haven't asked this time yet and the response may be different now. I can only hope it's easy.

#20 Leafprincess

Posted 19 December 2012 - 06:18 PM


I was really strict with this.
No booster & you're not welcome to visit the baby.
Was I popular? I couldn't care less

Babies die from whooping cough, I'd rather people feel offended than put my only baby at risk.
Get your DH to insist on the booster.

#21 FeralAlpacasFool

Posted 19 December 2012 - 06:36 PM

QUOTE (Leafprincess @ 19/12/2012, 07:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was really strict with this.
No booster & you're not welcome to visit the baby.
Was I popular? I couldn't care less

Babies die from whooping cough, I'd rather people feel offended than put my only baby at risk.
Get your DH to insist on the booster.

This. For a few of our friends, DD1 was the first baby of the 'group', and there was/still is a WC epidemic in the area, so I said that anyone who wanted to come visit needed the booster. They all did it as they knew how bad WC is.
OP get your DH to tell your MIL to google Dana Mcaffrey and 60 Minutes sad.gif

#22 Propaganda

Posted 19 December 2012 - 07:15 PM

I would mention it, mention I'd really appreciate it if she did, but I am not one to be strict about it.

Unless I planned to be a hermit until the baby was fully vaccinated, every person close to us getting booster shots wouldn't guarantee health, and most people I know aren't idiots and would stay away if they were showing any signs or symptoms of illness (of any sort).

#23 tres-chic

Posted 19 December 2012 - 07:20 PM

As the people who would be around her the most, after DD (my third) was born I had DH, and both my parents get WC booster shots.

I'm the last one to panic about these things (I'm relaxed about germs to a degree, for instance) but it is a fact that WC innoculation rates are falling fast where we live, unfortunately.

All three did so without hesitation.

So yes, I would ask her. I don't see any down side in protecting a newborn and I'd be surprised if a caring grandparent would either.

Good luck OP.

#24 lovedupmumma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 07:32 PM

QUOTE
Unless I planned to be a hermit until the baby was fully vaccinated, every person close to us getting booster shots wouldn't guarantee health, and most people I know aren't idiots and would stay away if they were showing any signs or symptoms of illness (of any sort).


I know, I feel somewhat like this which is why I'm asking.The thing is she will often turn up on a planned visit and not be 100% well and say something like "I've just had this cough and runny nose all week, I'm sure it's nothing", whereas that's what WC can look like in adults. She won't let us know in advance if she's not well before coming over, and once she's there it's pretty damn hard to say "Sorry, you'll have to go.", particulary once the kids see her.

Whereas my mum missed seeing DS2 for about a week after his birth because she had a cold and kept away. She was sad about it but knew it wasn't the end of the world.

I don't want to be overly hyper, but I need to protect bubs. Have asked DH to speak to her, which he will. Don't know if he thinks it's actually important TBH.

#25 lovedupmumma

Posted 19 December 2012 - 07:32 PM

QUOTE
Unless I planned to be a hermit until the baby was fully vaccinated, every person close to us getting booster shots wouldn't guarantee health, and most people I know aren't idiots and would stay away if they were showing any signs or symptoms of illness (of any sort).

hence the double post
I know, I feel somewhat like this which is why I'm asking.The thing is she will often turn up on a planned visit and not be 100% well and say something like "I've just had this cough and runny nose all week, I'm sure it's nothing", whereas that's what WC can look like in adults. She won't let us know in advance if she's not well before coming over, and once she's there it's pretty damn hard to say "Sorry, you'll have to go.", particulary once the kids see her.

Whereas my mum missed seeing DS2 for about a week after his birth because she had a cold and kept away. She was sad about it but knew it wasn't the end of the world.

Sorry, my browser is doing strange things lately, hence the double post.

I don't want to be overly hyper, but I need to protect bubs. Have asked DH to speak to her, which he will. Don't know if he thinks it's actually important TBH.

Edited by lovedupmumma, 19 December 2012 - 07:33 PM.





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