Jump to content

Coping with overtired tantrums
Strategies?


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 19 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Hi everyone!

Im hoping for some advice for dealing with my toddlers tantrums.

He has recently dropped his day sleep but most definitely still needs it. We've started just having quiet time on the lounge with a dvd most days when at home and that seems to work ok but the real problems arise when we have been out for the morning and he falls asleep in the car. He used to transfer to bed quiet well but now as soon as he wakes up in the car and sees we are at home its game on.
I nervously lift him out of the car and pretty much straight away it starts. He kicks, bites, screams, yells, scratches and basically turns into the devil.

So, i take him straight to his room. Ive tried sitting in the room with him but he basically attacks me, ive tried smacking him when he bites and realised pretty quickly im not a smacker, i dont think it acheived anything. I now just put him in his room and wait for him to calm down then let him out and talk about the tantrum and the hitting, he usually says sorry and we move on. But this has been happening for close to 4 months now. After todays tantrum im not sure im approaching it the right way because we just dont seem to be making any progress. He's now been in his room for an hour simply because i just dont know what to do with him and im so exhausted and upset from yet another attack that i cant look at him. I also dont want to let him out because i feel like its saying well ok here, get your own way? I cant make him sleep but he really needs it?

I also have a 6 moths old who is a horrible day sleeper at the best of times but trying to get him down while DS1 is sreaming in his room is impossible.

What strategies should i be trying to not only prevent the tantrum but also teach DS1 that this behaviour is NOT ok!

Any advice is appreciated.

:-(


#2 rainycat

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:05 PM

If he is asleep in the car can you go for a drive or park somewhere so he can have a decent snooze?
My 2 have dropped their day sleep as well, annoying isn't it.
Good luck and remember it is just a stage.

#3 rosiebird

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:09 PM

If you have a garage, put the car in there, open all the car doors and let him finish his sleep in the carseat. Or cut short the morning activities so you are at home for the beginning on the nap.

#4 halcyondays

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

If you have to get him out of the car and he is asleep, can you wake him up with a distraction? Like "wake up, we have to go and feed the ducks/eat icecream" Whatever rocks his boat.

I don't think the tantrums are manipulative- it takes a while for children to learn to deal with their fatigue. I've seen some tired adults throw some good ones too.

I've given up pushing on a day time nap at home- we all just get exhausted. I used to set him up with a quiet activity while I had a snooze on the sofa, and when I had to settle a young baby, used TV as a babysitter too.

#5 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:17 PM

That sounds horrible.  

I'm not an expert as my son has just started the tantrum age, but could he be hungry/thirsty?  My son's worst tantrums so far have been when he's overdue for something to eat.  I just wondered whether when he sees you are home he thinks it's time to wake up and have a snack, and is frustrated because that hasn't happened.

I'd also be tempted to enforce the nap by going for a drive, if your baby will sleep then as well.

#6 willow79

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

Both my dd have gone through this stage & dd1 did eventually stop doing it.  I just think they are just really bad at being woken up (heck I'm the same!).  If I have the time I just stay sitting in the car with them until they wake up themselves.  They usually don't sleep that long after we stop anyhow.  I feed the baby or use my phone to Facebook/eb or read a book etc.  It's my chill time lol

#7 Tesseract

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

DD also gets distressed when woken unexpectedly. I know how she feels, I feel awful when I wake up mid-sleep-cycle.

If I have to wake her up I gently get her out and then have her wake up being held by me in a big cuddle. That seems to make her feel secure. I don't put her down until she is fully awake and happy, or she looses it. I quickly get her a drink of water or give her a breastfeed, as well as set up a distraction (oh let's check the letter box!).

#8 FeralAlpacasFool

Posted 19 December 2012 - 09:10 PM

DD1 does a version of this, just the crying though. It's like a PP said, to do with being woken up during a sleep cycle, as she is sometimes like this when woken in the morning. She can be inconsolable, and while I like PP's idea of holding her and giving her a big cuddle, usually at these times I am also dealing with DD2 so can't hold DD1.

I generally just speak calmly and gently to her, give her a cuddle, let her know I'm happy talk to her when she calms down, then suggest she goes to her room for quiet time (books and puzzles) to calm down (not a punishment btw), or go snuggle with her fluffies (stuffed animals and teddies) in the tent in her playroom. My current mantra, from the book Buddhism for Mothers, is patient, calm and consistent.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler ticket!

Get your free tickets to the Sydney The Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27! Register online for your free ticket now!

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

6 tips for transitioning back to work after baby

Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.

Couple reveals pregnancy with epic Britney Spears parody

How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.

The truth about birthing a big baby

When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.

Eight months pregnant and addicted to eating soap

This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.

Can you spot the drowning child?

Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.

Noodles, peanuts, wee wees and lady bits

Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.

Mum's brave battle for unborn triplets amid cancer diagnosis

Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.