Jump to content

Coping with overtired tantrums
Strategies?


  • Please log in to reply
8 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 19 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Hi everyone!

Im hoping for some advice for dealing with my toddlers tantrums.

He has recently dropped his day sleep but most definitely still needs it. We've started just having quiet time on the lounge with a dvd most days when at home and that seems to work ok but the real problems arise when we have been out for the morning and he falls asleep in the car. He used to transfer to bed quiet well but now as soon as he wakes up in the car and sees we are at home its game on.
I nervously lift him out of the car and pretty much straight away it starts. He kicks, bites, screams, yells, scratches and basically turns into the devil.

So, i take him straight to his room. Ive tried sitting in the room with him but he basically attacks me, ive tried smacking him when he bites and realised pretty quickly im not a smacker, i dont think it acheived anything. I now just put him in his room and wait for him to calm down then let him out and talk about the tantrum and the hitting, he usually says sorry and we move on. But this has been happening for close to 4 months now. After todays tantrum im not sure im approaching it the right way because we just dont seem to be making any progress. He's now been in his room for an hour simply because i just dont know what to do with him and im so exhausted and upset from yet another attack that i cant look at him. I also dont want to let him out because i feel like its saying well ok here, get your own way? I cant make him sleep but he really needs it?

I also have a 6 moths old who is a horrible day sleeper at the best of times but trying to get him down while DS1 is sreaming in his room is impossible.

What strategies should i be trying to not only prevent the tantrum but also teach DS1 that this behaviour is NOT ok!

Any advice is appreciated.

:-(


#2 rainycat

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:05 PM

If he is asleep in the car can you go for a drive or park somewhere so he can have a decent snooze?
My 2 have dropped their day sleep as well, annoying isn't it.
Good luck and remember it is just a stage.

#3 rosiebird

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:09 PM

If you have a garage, put the car in there, open all the car doors and let him finish his sleep in the carseat. Or cut short the morning activities so you are at home for the beginning on the nap.

#4 halcyondays

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

If you have to get him out of the car and he is asleep, can you wake him up with a distraction? Like "wake up, we have to go and feed the ducks/eat icecream" Whatever rocks his boat.

I don't think the tantrums are manipulative- it takes a while for children to learn to deal with their fatigue. I've seen some tired adults throw some good ones too.

I've given up pushing on a day time nap at home- we all just get exhausted. I used to set him up with a quiet activity while I had a snooze on the sofa, and when I had to settle a young baby, used TV as a babysitter too.

#5 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:17 PM

That sounds horrible.  

I'm not an expert as my son has just started the tantrum age, but could he be hungry/thirsty?  My son's worst tantrums so far have been when he's overdue for something to eat.  I just wondered whether when he sees you are home he thinks it's time to wake up and have a snack, and is frustrated because that hasn't happened.

I'd also be tempted to enforce the nap by going for a drive, if your baby will sleep then as well.

#6 willow79

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

Both my dd have gone through this stage & dd1 did eventually stop doing it.  I just think they are just really bad at being woken up (heck I'm the same!).  If I have the time I just stay sitting in the car with them until they wake up themselves.  They usually don't sleep that long after we stop anyhow.  I feed the baby or use my phone to Facebook/eb or read a book etc.  It's my chill time lol

#7 Tesseract

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

DD also gets distressed when woken unexpectedly. I know how she feels, I feel awful when I wake up mid-sleep-cycle.

If I have to wake her up I gently get her out and then have her wake up being held by me in a big cuddle. That seems to make her feel secure. I don't put her down until she is fully awake and happy, or she looses it. I quickly get her a drink of water or give her a breastfeed, as well as set up a distraction (oh let's check the letter box!).

#8 Alpha_Chook

Posted 19 December 2012 - 07:11 PM

The hour he spent in his room today.....was that meant to be time out? If so it is a long time for time out and by the time he comes out he will have forgotten what he went in there for.

I find with Eamon when he has the tired tantrums the best tactic is to cuddle him really tight and start making stupid noises. Kinda mimicking the noise he is making but slightly different. He usually wonders what I am doing then stops and laughs. Other times if I let him be he will either get over it himself or fall asleep

#9 Feral Alpacas

Posted 19 December 2012 - 09:10 PM

DD1 does a version of this, just the crying though. It's like a PP said, to do with being woken up during a sleep cycle, as she is sometimes like this when woken in the morning. She can be inconsolable, and while I like PP's idea of holding her and giving her a big cuddle, usually at these times I am also dealing with DD2 so can't hold DD1.

I generally just speak calmly and gently to her, give her a cuddle, let her know I'm happy talk to her when she calms down, then suggest she goes to her room for quiet time (books and puzzles) to calm down (not a punishment btw), or go snuggle with her fluffies (stuffed animals and teddies) in the tent in her playroom. My current mantra, from the book Buddhism for Mothers, is patient, calm and consistent.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.