Jump to content

How do i get 6 month old out of our bed and into his cot...all night!
Very attached bub! How to gently make the changes?


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 18 December 2012 - 08:55 AM

Hi everyone,

DS2 is somewhat of a mummys boy....He loves the boob and only sleeps solidly when he is pressed up against me in our bed. I guess you could say i attachment parented him without really meaning to? With DS1 i was very structured, we had a routine and he went straight into his cot in his own room from day dot. Im not sure why im so different second time around, of course he is a different baby but ive pretty much done nothing the same even though what we did with DS1 worked well, he slept through from 6 months and has always been quiet independant.

Knowing he is my last baby i guess ive relished in those newborn cuddles and have been happy to pretty much have him on me 24/7.
Now, 6 months on though, im feeling the need to create some distance? Ive gone back to work 2 days per week and lets just say he is not a happy camper when im not around. He will take a bottle but reluctantly and will not sleep for anyone but me.
I also have a toddler and feel like i am losing my bond with him because DS2 is so literally attached to me constantly.

My biggest issue at the moment though is getting him to sleep in his own cot. As much as i love having him close to me in bed, DH is not so keen and i think our relationship is suffering so its time to make the change.

Does anyone have any tips? We always put him down around 7pm in his cot but he wakes every 30mins or so till i go to bed at 10 and take him with me....Is it just a case of persisting with settling until he gets that im not going to take him to bed?

Any tips will be appreciated.

#2 feralangel

Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:35 AM

Hi Neaka,

I could have written this post word for word as i am experiencing the exact same problem (the only detail or difference being is that i have 2 girls).

I will therefore be ph34r.gif this thread with a great deal of interest.



#3 PurpleNess

Posted 18 December 2012 - 12:27 PM

Can you put the cot in your room next to your side of the bed so he can still smell & hear you & you can touch him?

What about his day time naps? does he sleep on you or in the cot? Try putting him down for day sleeps in cot first.

Sorry I don't have any direct experience just thought these ideas might helps? Good Luck

#4 axiomae

Posted 18 December 2012 - 07:34 PM

Start gradually moving him away from you maybe - further away from you in bed, then into his cot with the side down attached to the bed, then with the cot bars up next to your bed, then further away from the bed, etc etc until he is in your room. I've heard that can work.

Or you could do it cold turkey - self settling and all that. Would be quicker although harder in the short term. Whatever you're comfortable with.

#5 mandala

Posted 19 December 2012 - 08:13 AM

The first thing to do is decide what you want, and what you're willing to try to get there.  It sounds like you're clear on wanting your DS in his own cot, rather than in a sidecar set up.

If that's right, I would suggest you set aside a week or so with no other committments, and work for every sleep in the cot, with whatever settling is needed to make that happen. If your DH is wanting to have your DS in his own bed, this is when he gets to do the hard work. It sounds like 10pm is the time when you tend to give up (I would too!), so I would suggest you go to bed early, with ear plugs, and get your DH to do all settling in the cot until midnight. Then you've had a decent bit of sleep first and hopefully it's a bit easier for you to persist with settling in the cot.

There will be tears. Probably from both you and your DS. There are lots of strategies in the no-cry books to help get you there, but there will be tears despite the title.

I, however, prefer to get things over and done with. With my DS, he would have found the further and further away to be more distressing - if I was there, why wasn't I right there with him? - but every baby is different.


#6 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

Hi OP,

I can identify with you in various areas - the last baby, the attachment, a boob baby, having an older child to take care of...

However mine is two months old, I don't take him to our bed at night. I do take him to our bed from 5 am onwards when his fussy hours start and I BF and sleep with him till 7 or 8am becos he doesn't want anything else but me.

I would say with the night routine persist on. How do you put him in his cot at 7pm?

For us we put bub to his cot between 8-9pm depending on when his last nap was. We swaddle and put him in cot then give dummy. He would happily suck on it till he wants attention. We would pick him up, cuddle, tell him its time he goes to sleep, put him down again. If he whines or cries we do ssshhhhing...louder but calmly. After a few nights he's all good and take that as the cue to go to bed. It works for our bub somehow for bed time he doesn't protest much with this routine, not much crying for him. This routine doesn't work for his nap time unfortunately.



#7 Mootmoot

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:35 PM

I've recently read "Dream Baby Guide" by Sheyne Rowley and found it really useful.  Not quite the same situation but 9mo DS used to only go to sleep on the bottle or in my arms, using that book (and having one fairly horrible week, I have to admit), he now gets himself to sleep without fuss day and night.

I agree with a PP that you have to decide what you want and be prepared to put in some work for it.  I took the view that it's better to have a hard week but at the end of it have taught DS the really valuable skill of getting himself to sleep rather than having to rely on me to do it.

I borrowed some books from the library to get different perspectives, some had more gentle ways to change this kind of sleeping behaviour, but it takes much longer and you're trying to teach the same lesson after all.  I liked the Dream Baby Guide because it talks about how to communicate with your baby so they know what is coming and how to deal with it; and how to not confuse them about when you will and won't be there to settle them. There's an outline of her methods on her website.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Video: Toddler not keen on clean-shaven dad

This little girl thought she was taking part in a standard game of peek-a-boo, but her dad had a surprise for her.

When will I feel like myself again?

At some point I became 'me' again, but not the same me that I was ... and that?s not a bad thing.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Win a House of Magic prize pack

To celebrate the release of the new movie House of Magic, we have 10 double passes and magic sets to give away just in time for these school holidays. Enter Now for a chance to win!

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Couple's bucket list for unborn baby

Jenna and Dan Haley know their baby's time will be limited, so they're packing in a lifetime of memories before he's even born.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.