How do i get 6 month old out of our bed and into his cot...all night!
Very attached bub! How to gently make the changes?
, Dec 18 2012 08:55 AM
6 replies to this topic
Posted 18 December 2012 - 08:55 AM
DS2 is somewhat of a mummys boy....He loves the boob and only sleeps solidly when he is pressed up against me in our bed. I guess you could say i attachment parented him without really meaning to? With DS1 i was very structured, we had a routine and he went straight into his cot in his own room from day dot. Im not sure why im so different second time around, of course he is a different baby but ive pretty much done nothing the same even though what we did with DS1 worked well, he slept through from 6 months and has always been quiet independant.
Knowing he is my last baby i guess ive relished in those newborn cuddles and have been happy to pretty much have him on me 24/7.
Now, 6 months on though, im feeling the need to create some distance? Ive gone back to work 2 days per week and lets just say he is not a happy camper when im not around. He will take a bottle but reluctantly and will not sleep for anyone but me.
I also have a toddler and feel like i am losing my bond with him because DS2 is so literally attached to me constantly.
My biggest issue at the moment though is getting him to sleep in his own cot. As much as i love having him close to me in bed, DH is not so keen and i think our relationship is suffering so its time to make the change.
Does anyone have any tips? We always put him down around 7pm in his cot but he wakes every 30mins or so till i go to bed at 10 and take him with me....Is it just a case of persisting with settling until he gets that im not going to take him to bed?
Any tips will be appreciated.
Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:35 AM
I could have written this post word for word as i am experiencing the exact same problem (the only detail or difference being is that i have 2 girls).
I will therefore be
this thread with a great deal of interest.
Posted 18 December 2012 - 12:27 PM
Can you put the cot in your room next to your side of the bed so he can still smell & hear you & you can touch him?
What about his day time naps? does he sleep on you or in the cot? Try putting him down for day sleeps in cot first.
Sorry I don't have any direct experience just thought these ideas might helps? Good Luck
Posted 18 December 2012 - 07:34 PM
Start gradually moving him away from you maybe - further away from you in bed, then into his cot with the side down attached to the bed, then with the cot bars up next to your bed, then further away from the bed, etc etc until he is in your room. I've heard that can work.
Or you could do it cold turkey - self settling and all that. Would be quicker although harder in the short term. Whatever you're comfortable with.
Posted 19 December 2012 - 08:13 AM
The first thing to do is decide what you want, and what you're willing to try to get there. It sounds like you're clear on wanting your DS in his own cot, rather than in a sidecar set up.
If that's right, I would suggest you set aside a week or so with no other committments, and work for every sleep in the cot, with whatever settling is needed to make that happen. If your DH is wanting to have your DS in his own bed, this is when he gets to do the hard work. It sounds like 10pm is the time when you tend to give up (I would too!), so I would suggest you go to bed early, with ear plugs, and get your DH to do all settling in the cot until midnight. Then you've had a decent bit of sleep first and hopefully it's a bit easier for you to persist with settling in the cot.
There will be tears. Probably from both you and your DS. There are lots of strategies in the no-cry books to help get you there, but there will be tears despite the title.
I, however, prefer to get things over and done with. With my DS, he would have found the further and further away to be more distressing - if I was there, why wasn't I right there with him? - but every baby is different.
Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:10 PM
I can identify with you in various areas - the last baby, the attachment, a boob baby, having an older child to take care of...
However mine is two months old, I don't take him to our bed at night. I do take him to our bed from 5 am onwards when his fussy hours start and I BF and sleep with him till 7 or 8am becos he doesn't want anything else but me.
I would say with the night routine persist on. How do you put him in his cot at 7pm?
For us we put bub to his cot between 8-9pm depending on when his last nap was. We swaddle and put him in cot then give dummy. He would happily suck on it till he wants attention. We would pick him up, cuddle, tell him its time he goes to sleep, put him down again. If he whines or cries we do ssshhhhing...louder but calmly. After a few nights he's all good and take that as the cue to go to bed. It works for our bub somehow for bed time he doesn't protest much with this routine, not much crying for him. This routine doesn't work for his nap time unfortunately.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:35 PM
I've recently read "Dream Baby Guide" by Sheyne Rowley and found it really useful. Not quite the same situation but 9mo DS used to only go to sleep on the bottle or in my arms, using that book (and having one fairly horrible week, I have to admit), he now gets himself to sleep without fuss day and night.
I agree with a PP that you have to decide what you want and be prepared to put in some work for it. I took the view that it's better to have a hard week but at the end of it have taught DS the really valuable skill of getting himself to sleep rather than having to rely on me to do it.
I borrowed some books from the library to get different perspectives, some had more gentle ways to change this kind of sleeping behaviour, but it takes much longer and you're trying to teach the same lesson after all. I liked the Dream Baby Guide because it talks about how to communicate with your baby so they know what is coming and how to deal with it; and how to not confuse them about when you will and won't be there to settle them. There's an outline of her methods on her website.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
Women shoulder the time-intensive and routine tasks - and they're also more likely to do the least enjoyable tasks like scrubbing the toilets versus washing the car.
Does giving children food as a reward turn them into emotional eaters?
Two photos of mums have shown the world the physical impact of exhaustion in all its frazzled glory.
Pregnancy announcement videos have become so popular they're becoming businesses all their own, with YouTube compilations, Pinterest pages and morning television segments.
It's an idea that makes some people feel excited, while others shudder at the increased difficulty.
A terrifying car crash that left Danni Bett lying in hospital in a neck-brace wasn't enough to stop her from breastfeeding.
A Welsh couple have realised their newborn has a striking resemblance to a certain celebrity chef.
An adorable toddler and his toy truck in a photo series that'll melt your heart.
I want my children to grow up and know it's okay to feel strong emotion and to display it. Vulnerability and imperfection do not equal weakness.
For your own husband's parents not to come to your wedding is an utter embarrassment.
A teenage boy has undergone surgery to remove a foetus, complete with hair, legs, hands and genitals, removed from his stomach.
Even one-year-olds can be very exploratory, experimental and creative.
The short and long term consequences of controlled crying are under the spotlight with new Australian research suggesting no harm results from the practice.
If the tooth fairy takes teeth away, it must be something like a goblin who brings them in the first place.
Three-year-old Henry died in February this year, just a few hours after falling ill.
A Saudi man has been arrested after shooting the male obstetrician who delievered his baby because he was unhappy the doctor had seen his wife naked.
First, baby Zyla tried her trick on cushy, beige carpet.
How often have you been told "Just give your breastfed baby a bottle of formula at bedtime to make him sleep"? But does it work?
She might be a Hollywood superstar, but the gorgeous Anne Hathaway feels just as self-conscious as other new mums trying to get back in shape after having a baby.
In a moving 3000-word Facebook post, Dan Majesky has shared a painful journey of infertility, with a big surprise at the end.
Facebook has come under fire after banning an ad featuring Tess Holliday, a plus-sized model, wearing a bikini.
It was a moment filled with joy but tinged with sadness.
Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.
A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.
Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago
To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.
Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.
There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.
When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.
All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.
Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.
Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.
What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.
From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.
Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.
Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.
After children, 'me time' looks a little different.
A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.
It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time
Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.