Jump to content

How do i get 6 month old out of our bed and into his cot...all night!
Very attached bub! How to gently make the changes?


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 18 December 2012 - 08:55 AM

Hi everyone,

DS2 is somewhat of a mummys boy....He loves the boob and only sleeps solidly when he is pressed up against me in our bed. I guess you could say i attachment parented him without really meaning to? With DS1 i was very structured, we had a routine and he went straight into his cot in his own room from day dot. Im not sure why im so different second time around, of course he is a different baby but ive pretty much done nothing the same even though what we did with DS1 worked well, he slept through from 6 months and has always been quiet independant.

Knowing he is my last baby i guess ive relished in those newborn cuddles and have been happy to pretty much have him on me 24/7.
Now, 6 months on though, im feeling the need to create some distance? Ive gone back to work 2 days per week and lets just say he is not a happy camper when im not around. He will take a bottle but reluctantly and will not sleep for anyone but me.
I also have a toddler and feel like i am losing my bond with him because DS2 is so literally attached to me constantly.

My biggest issue at the moment though is getting him to sleep in his own cot. As much as i love having him close to me in bed, DH is not so keen and i think our relationship is suffering so its time to make the change.

Does anyone have any tips? We always put him down around 7pm in his cot but he wakes every 30mins or so till i go to bed at 10 and take him with me....Is it just a case of persisting with settling until he gets that im not going to take him to bed?

Any tips will be appreciated.

#2 feralangel

Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:35 AM

Hi Neaka,

I could have written this post word for word as i am experiencing the exact same problem (the only detail or difference being is that i have 2 girls).

I will therefore be ph34r.gif this thread with a great deal of interest.



#3 PurpleNess

Posted 18 December 2012 - 12:27 PM

Can you put the cot in your room next to your side of the bed so he can still smell & hear you & you can touch him?

What about his day time naps? does he sleep on you or in the cot? Try putting him down for day sleeps in cot first.

Sorry I don't have any direct experience just thought these ideas might helps? Good Luck

#4 axiomae

Posted 18 December 2012 - 07:34 PM

Start gradually moving him away from you maybe - further away from you in bed, then into his cot with the side down attached to the bed, then with the cot bars up next to your bed, then further away from the bed, etc etc until he is in your room. I've heard that can work.

Or you could do it cold turkey - self settling and all that. Would be quicker although harder in the short term. Whatever you're comfortable with.

#5 mandala

Posted 19 December 2012 - 08:13 AM

The first thing to do is decide what you want, and what you're willing to try to get there.  It sounds like you're clear on wanting your DS in his own cot, rather than in a sidecar set up.

If that's right, I would suggest you set aside a week or so with no other committments, and work for every sleep in the cot, with whatever settling is needed to make that happen. If your DH is wanting to have your DS in his own bed, this is when he gets to do the hard work. It sounds like 10pm is the time when you tend to give up (I would too!), so I would suggest you go to bed early, with ear plugs, and get your DH to do all settling in the cot until midnight. Then you've had a decent bit of sleep first and hopefully it's a bit easier for you to persist with settling in the cot.

There will be tears. Probably from both you and your DS. There are lots of strategies in the no-cry books to help get you there, but there will be tears despite the title.

I, however, prefer to get things over and done with. With my DS, he would have found the further and further away to be more distressing - if I was there, why wasn't I right there with him? - but every baby is different.


#6 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

Hi OP,

I can identify with you in various areas - the last baby, the attachment, a boob baby, having an older child to take care of...

However mine is two months old, I don't take him to our bed at night. I do take him to our bed from 5 am onwards when his fussy hours start and I BF and sleep with him till 7 or 8am becos he doesn't want anything else but me.

I would say with the night routine persist on. How do you put him in his cot at 7pm?

For us we put bub to his cot between 8-9pm depending on when his last nap was. We swaddle and put him in cot then give dummy. He would happily suck on it till he wants attention. We would pick him up, cuddle, tell him its time he goes to sleep, put him down again. If he whines or cries we do ssshhhhing...louder but calmly. After a few nights he's all good and take that as the cue to go to bed. It works for our bub somehow for bed time he doesn't protest much with this routine, not much crying for him. This routine doesn't work for his nap time unfortunately.



#7 Mootmoot

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:35 PM

I've recently read "Dream Baby Guide" by Sheyne Rowley and found it really useful.  Not quite the same situation but 9mo DS used to only go to sleep on the bottle or in my arms, using that book (and having one fairly horrible week, I have to admit), he now gets himself to sleep without fuss day and night.

I agree with a PP that you have to decide what you want and be prepared to put in some work for it.  I took the view that it's better to have a hard week but at the end of it have taught DS the really valuable skill of getting himself to sleep rather than having to rely on me to do it.

I borrowed some books from the library to get different perspectives, some had more gentle ways to change this kind of sleeping behaviour, but it takes much longer and you're trying to teach the same lesson after all.  I liked the Dream Baby Guide because it talks about how to communicate with your baby so they know what is coming and how to deal with it; and how to not confuse them about when you will and won't be there to settle them. There's an outline of her methods on her website.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Long battle to learn the truth about Ariana's birth

Cerise and Tim Lawn spent two years fighting to find out how a healthy pregnancy turned into a nightmare birth, and why their daughter now suffers from disabilities she shouldn't have.

Christina Aguilera announces daughter's name

Christina Aguilera and her fiance, Matt Rutler, have welcomed their daughter into the world.

Couple caught in surrogacy crackdown

An Australian couple caught up in Thailand's surrogacy crackdown have said many parents are distraught and facing dire financial difficulties as are they are unable to bring their surrogate-born babies home.

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

5 co-sleeping myths busted

In case you are co-sleeping with your baby, and all the ?helpful? advice from others is sending you down the slippery slope of self-doubt, let?s bust a few myths on the topic.

When pregnancy takes you down memory lane

One mum-to-be discovers pregnancy hormones can give rise to some surprising emotions.

What?s your love language?

The secret to making your partner feel special is to know which language of love they favour ? and it?s the same for your kids, too.

Returning to exercise after a caesarean

I had my daughter four months ago via caesarean, and I want to get back into exercise. What are some good first steps I can take?

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Whether they're out of favour traditional names, or the parents were a little creative, here are the least popular names of 2013.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.