Jump to content

How do i get 6 month old out of our bed and into his cot...all night!
Very attached bub! How to gently make the changes?


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 18 December 2012 - 08:55 AM

Hi everyone,

DS2 is somewhat of a mummys boy....He loves the boob and only sleeps solidly when he is pressed up against me in our bed. I guess you could say i attachment parented him without really meaning to? With DS1 i was very structured, we had a routine and he went straight into his cot in his own room from day dot. Im not sure why im so different second time around, of course he is a different baby but ive pretty much done nothing the same even though what we did with DS1 worked well, he slept through from 6 months and has always been quiet independant.

Knowing he is my last baby i guess ive relished in those newborn cuddles and have been happy to pretty much have him on me 24/7.
Now, 6 months on though, im feeling the need to create some distance? Ive gone back to work 2 days per week and lets just say he is not a happy camper when im not around. He will take a bottle but reluctantly and will not sleep for anyone but me.
I also have a toddler and feel like i am losing my bond with him because DS2 is so literally attached to me constantly.

My biggest issue at the moment though is getting him to sleep in his own cot. As much as i love having him close to me in bed, DH is not so keen and i think our relationship is suffering so its time to make the change.

Does anyone have any tips? We always put him down around 7pm in his cot but he wakes every 30mins or so till i go to bed at 10 and take him with me....Is it just a case of persisting with settling until he gets that im not going to take him to bed?

Any tips will be appreciated.

#2 feralangel

Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:35 AM

Hi Neaka,

I could have written this post word for word as i am experiencing the exact same problem (the only detail or difference being is that i have 2 girls).

I will therefore be ph34r.gif this thread with a great deal of interest.



#3 PurpleNess

Posted 18 December 2012 - 12:27 PM

Can you put the cot in your room next to your side of the bed so he can still smell & hear you & you can touch him?

What about his day time naps? does he sleep on you or in the cot? Try putting him down for day sleeps in cot first.

Sorry I don't have any direct experience just thought these ideas might helps? Good Luck

#4 axiomae

Posted 18 December 2012 - 07:34 PM

Start gradually moving him away from you maybe - further away from you in bed, then into his cot with the side down attached to the bed, then with the cot bars up next to your bed, then further away from the bed, etc etc until he is in your room. I've heard that can work.

Or you could do it cold turkey - self settling and all that. Would be quicker although harder in the short term. Whatever you're comfortable with.

#5 mandala

Posted 19 December 2012 - 08:13 AM

The first thing to do is decide what you want, and what you're willing to try to get there.  It sounds like you're clear on wanting your DS in his own cot, rather than in a sidecar set up.

If that's right, I would suggest you set aside a week or so with no other committments, and work for every sleep in the cot, with whatever settling is needed to make that happen. If your DH is wanting to have your DS in his own bed, this is when he gets to do the hard work. It sounds like 10pm is the time when you tend to give up (I would too!), so I would suggest you go to bed early, with ear plugs, and get your DH to do all settling in the cot until midnight. Then you've had a decent bit of sleep first and hopefully it's a bit easier for you to persist with settling in the cot.

There will be tears. Probably from both you and your DS. There are lots of strategies in the no-cry books to help get you there, but there will be tears despite the title.

I, however, prefer to get things over and done with. With my DS, he would have found the further and further away to be more distressing - if I was there, why wasn't I right there with him? - but every baby is different.


#6 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

Hi OP,

I can identify with you in various areas - the last baby, the attachment, a boob baby, having an older child to take care of...

However mine is two months old, I don't take him to our bed at night. I do take him to our bed from 5 am onwards when his fussy hours start and I BF and sleep with him till 7 or 8am becos he doesn't want anything else but me.

I would say with the night routine persist on. How do you put him in his cot at 7pm?

For us we put bub to his cot between 8-9pm depending on when his last nap was. We swaddle and put him in cot then give dummy. He would happily suck on it till he wants attention. We would pick him up, cuddle, tell him its time he goes to sleep, put him down again. If he whines or cries we do ssshhhhing...louder but calmly. After a few nights he's all good and take that as the cue to go to bed. It works for our bub somehow for bed time he doesn't protest much with this routine, not much crying for him. This routine doesn't work for his nap time unfortunately.



#7 Mootmoot

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:35 PM

I've recently read "Dream Baby Guide" by Sheyne Rowley and found it really useful.  Not quite the same situation but 9mo DS used to only go to sleep on the bottle or in my arms, using that book (and having one fairly horrible week, I have to admit), he now gets himself to sleep without fuss day and night.

I agree with a PP that you have to decide what you want and be prepared to put in some work for it.  I took the view that it's better to have a hard week but at the end of it have taught DS the really valuable skill of getting himself to sleep rather than having to rely on me to do it.

I borrowed some books from the library to get different perspectives, some had more gentle ways to change this kind of sleeping behaviour, but it takes much longer and you're trying to teach the same lesson after all.  I liked the Dream Baby Guide because it talks about how to communicate with your baby so they know what is coming and how to deal with it; and how to not confuse them about when you will and won't be there to settle them. There's an outline of her methods on her website.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Public welcome outside church for Princess Charlotte's christening

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have invited well-wishers to see Princess Charlotte outside church in Sandringham on day of her baptism.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Channel 10's Sarah Harris expecting first child

The Studio host Sarah Harris doesn't mind if her first baby is a boy or girl, but she does hope it is born with one thing in particular.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.