Jump to content

Pg after losing our little girl
Scared this time.


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 rose_butterfly

Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:02 AM

My DP & I had been TTC  for 3 1/2 years and finally found out we were expecting a couple of weeks ago.

However we really wanted this but are not feeling excited as we lost our beautiful girl to a life threatening condition when she was 6m of age.

I cannot seem to feel attached in anyway to this baby as Im really scared for something to happen again, this time it would really break us especially our almost 7 yr old daughter who still talks constantly about her little sister daily which is hard.

We had no idea about our daughters condition during our pregnancy which she had an heart abnormality ???  as well as other issues,   I will never forget the words the midwife used when pregnant after a couple of issues with my  20 wk scan,  It wont be a syndrome as it comes in clusters.. Well it was a syndrome and was told everything looks good  just rest up and take it easy as you may deliver early this was said after our checkup scan at 27weeks.

I am so nervous, losing our little girl has affected me in so many ways as a person I am today. I know that having another baby will not replace Kaitlin which I would not want this, but would heal the heart a little and it tears at the heart strings that our daughter has no sibling to grow up with.

Thanks for reading.

#2 jules363

Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:16 AM

Congratulations on your pregnancy.  I can imagine it must be so very hard though, and it's  understandable that you are afraid.  I hope this baby heals your hearts a little.  Sorry for the loss of Kaitlin.

#3 B.feral3

Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:37 AM

I can't imagine how difficult this must be. Take care and I hope 2013 brings wonderful things into your lives. My thoughts are with you.

#4 Jroc

Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:14 PM

Hi. I'm new to EB. Just wanted to say congratulations. And I hope all goes well. I'm sure it will. We lost our second baby due to spina bifida. We found out at out 20 week scan that baby Harry was severely deformed from spina bifida and on the advice from all the best drs our best option was termination (i hate that word). It was a really hard time for my husband and I, as well as explaining to our 2 year old that there was not going to be baby. But we have come out the other side and now have a beautiful 8 month old, Teddy who is perfect in every way. When i was pregnant with Teddy it is really scary thinking that things will go wrong again, but it didn't and I'm sure it won't for you, Everything will be fine. Wishing you all the best. Xx

#5 SuburbnJournalista

Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:24 AM

I am really sorry for your loss and congratulations on your long awaited baby.

I have some experience with what you're going through. I was petrified during a pregnancy after losing our baby girl. I behaved quite strangely with some things. I didn't like talking about being pregnant or hearing baby stories and would leave conversations that started on these topics. I didn't have a baby shower or get any photos of me pregnant. I wouldn't go on a babymoon. There was no "nursery" and I took a long time to get a cot. I didn't read any pregnancy books or have a birth plan.

Now I have the most delicious adorable baby. The only thing I would change about how I handled the pregnancy would be to get a photo of me at the end. I'd love to show this baby what I looked like. I got through it.

I think it's ok to be worried but just make sure it's not impacting you in a negative way. There's a grey area between "totally ok" and "neurotic", stay in the grey and the 9 months will be over soon enough. If you drift into the neurotic range, the SIDs & Kids organisation have a fantastic counselling service.

Hope that helped a bit. Be kind to yourself.

#6 rose_butterfly

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:36 PM

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

Sorry to SuburbnJournalista    &    Jroc  to have been in a similar journey. Your stories make me have some hope to having a healthy child.

It seems like almost these 2 weeks since finding out we are expecting have taken forever, I can only imagine what the next 3 weeks are going to be until our NT scan and the rest of important scans & testswe will be having to do this time around.  

As for our first born daughter. She was born at 37 weeks due to low amniotic fluid and the moved my C-Sec date forward due to this. I had a ECG everday for almost 2 weeks until they delivered DD. She was born at 6ld 3oz and what seemed like a healthy little girl.

Then came signs as shew grew and developed. She was sitting up early, crawling on time, and walking at 11 months, also sipping out of a straw cup at 8 months of age whereas alot of people were amazed at her doing this and talking which we thought she'd be an early talker. She then went backwards at 14m, stopped talking etc.  I noticed things were different with her then her little sister arrived staying in hospital for the 1st 3m ,  DD1 was missing out on alot which we put it down to this as she was approaching 2. We than did Speech and her little sister passed away. After assesments and therapy she was diagnosed as she was approaching 5 and starting prep with Mild Intellectual Impairment. This came as a shock to us as she seemed to be doing all the normal milestones on time for her age in the 1st 12 months.  Then 8 months later she also has ADHD

We kind of have a feeling was in imnunisation that had done this to our DD1 as we watch DVD's and she seemed to respond to us in the 1st year.  

Im now worried if something is with DP & I , I have always wanted to be a mum, although our daughter is the sunshine of my life, though since she was diagnosed we had it tough but dealing with it & she seems to be improving.  I would love a healthy little bubby to bring home and so scared and feel robbed that we should be over the moon for this pregnancy and yet dont feel this as we wanted this for so long.

#7 rose_butterfly

Posted 24 December 2012 - 08:00 PM

We had a scan on the 20th Dec. Everything looked good & heartbeat was strong.

4 days later christmas Eve morning at 4am I had a gush of bright red blood.
After blood test for HCG our reading was good which was 77000 today at 7 weeks.

Scan showed a perigestional Sac Haetoma.   Has anyone experienced this. Would love to hear of your advice. After 3 1/2 years of trying for a baby and after losing our little girl I feel like we have been shattered once again.

We just have to wait this out if we go on to having a miscarriage or bubby holds on strong.

#8 butterflyangels

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:52 AM

Wow I have just come across this thread, congratulations K on your pregnancy, I am so excited for you.
As you know my pregnancies after stillbirths haven't been sucessful i can understand your fears, (pregnancy I fear so much I won't be doing it again) has the bleeding stopped or settled, it is common to bleed throughout your pregnancy.
There is a pregnancy after stillbirth group of fb if you would like me to add you to it.

Mandy




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Home truths: the DIY dos and don'ts

A professional renovator gives advice on which jobs you should do yourself, and which you should outsource.

Parenting lessons I?ve yet to learn

Instead of writing about the stuff I do know since becoming a mum, I thought I'd share some of the things I don't. These are the lessons that motherhood hasn't taught me.

Will I be wrecked 'down there' after birth?

Did you worry about how you would look "down there" after giving birth? This mum-to-be found plenty of women willing to share their knowledge.

The new weekend playgroup for working mums

Playgroups are great for kids and parents alike - but the downside is that they often meet during the week, leaving working mums out of the loop.

Letting your toddler be the boss at bedtime

Sick of spending hours trying to get your toddler to sleep? These experts say giving your child more of a say at bedtime might be the answer.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

Consulting 'Dr Google' when you're pregnant

We're all guilty of turning to the internet for a quick answer when we need medical advice, but Dr Google should be approached with caution - especially when you're pregnant.

16 ways to tie a scarf

Scarfs are the perfect winter accessory. Whether you're freezing at soccer training or wanting to add a splash of colour to a monochrome top, the right scarf will sort you out in no time. Just ask Nina Proudman.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

The simple way to support other parents

We may be raising children of different ages and sexes, with different personalities, but we, as parents, aren't that different - we all have similar struggles, fears, doubts, responsibilities.

Seeing the big picture when it comes to parenting

Sometimes it feels like hundreds of tiny cracks are spreading across the surface of our lives, creeping slowly into the foundations and threatening to make them crumble. How do we hold it all together?

How to spot a lactaboobiephobia sufferer

Lactation consultant Meg Nagle refused to stay silent when Facebook removed two photos of her breastfeeding. Instead, she coined a term to describe those who don't recognise breastfeeding for the natural and non-sexual act that it is.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. Others, like these 10 weird habits, crop up again and again.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.