Jump to content

Pg after losing our little girl
Scared this time.


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 rose_butterfly

Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:02 AM

My DP & I had been TTC  for 3 1/2 years and finally found out we were expecting a couple of weeks ago.

However we really wanted this but are not feeling excited as we lost our beautiful girl to a life threatening condition when she was 6m of age.

I cannot seem to feel attached in anyway to this baby as Im really scared for something to happen again, this time it would really break us especially our almost 7 yr old daughter who still talks constantly about her little sister daily which is hard.

We had no idea about our daughters condition during our pregnancy which she had an heart abnormality ???  as well as other issues,   I will never forget the words the midwife used when pregnant after a couple of issues with my  20 wk scan,  It wont be a syndrome as it comes in clusters.. Well it was a syndrome and was told everything looks good  just rest up and take it easy as you may deliver early this was said after our checkup scan at 27weeks.

I am so nervous, losing our little girl has affected me in so many ways as a person I am today. I know that having another baby will not replace Kaitlin which I would not want this, but would heal the heart a little and it tears at the heart strings that our daughter has no sibling to grow up with.

Thanks for reading.

#2 jules363

Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:16 AM

Congratulations on your pregnancy.  I can imagine it must be so very hard though, and it's  understandable that you are afraid.  I hope this baby heals your hearts a little.  Sorry for the loss of Kaitlin.

#3 B.feral3

Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:37 AM

I can't imagine how difficult this must be. Take care and I hope 2013 brings wonderful things into your lives. My thoughts are with you.

#4 Jroc

Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:14 PM

Hi. I'm new to EB. Just wanted to say congratulations. And I hope all goes well. I'm sure it will. We lost our second baby due to spina bifida. We found out at out 20 week scan that baby Harry was severely deformed from spina bifida and on the advice from all the best drs our best option was termination (i hate that word). It was a really hard time for my husband and I, as well as explaining to our 2 year old that there was not going to be baby. But we have come out the other side and now have a beautiful 8 month old, Teddy who is perfect in every way. When i was pregnant with Teddy it is really scary thinking that things will go wrong again, but it didn't and I'm sure it won't for you, Everything will be fine. Wishing you all the best. Xx

#5 SuburbnJournalista

Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:24 AM

I am really sorry for your loss and congratulations on your long awaited baby.

I have some experience with what you're going through. I was petrified during a pregnancy after losing our baby girl. I behaved quite strangely with some things. I didn't like talking about being pregnant or hearing baby stories and would leave conversations that started on these topics. I didn't have a baby shower or get any photos of me pregnant. I wouldn't go on a babymoon. There was no "nursery" and I took a long time to get a cot. I didn't read any pregnancy books or have a birth plan.

Now I have the most delicious adorable baby. The only thing I would change about how I handled the pregnancy would be to get a photo of me at the end. I'd love to show this baby what I looked like. I got through it.

I think it's ok to be worried but just make sure it's not impacting you in a negative way. There's a grey area between "totally ok" and "neurotic", stay in the grey and the 9 months will be over soon enough. If you drift into the neurotic range, the SIDs & Kids organisation have a fantastic counselling service.

Hope that helped a bit. Be kind to yourself.

#6 rose_butterfly

Posted 19 December 2012 - 01:36 PM

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

Sorry to SuburbnJournalista    &    Jroc  to have been in a similar journey. Your stories make me have some hope to having a healthy child.

It seems like almost these 2 weeks since finding out we are expecting have taken forever, I can only imagine what the next 3 weeks are going to be until our NT scan and the rest of important scans & testswe will be having to do this time around.  

As for our first born daughter. She was born at 37 weeks due to low amniotic fluid and the moved my C-Sec date forward due to this. I had a ECG everday for almost 2 weeks until they delivered DD. She was born at 6ld 3oz and what seemed like a healthy little girl.

Then came signs as shew grew and developed. She was sitting up early, crawling on time, and walking at 11 months, also sipping out of a straw cup at 8 months of age whereas alot of people were amazed at her doing this and talking which we thought she'd be an early talker. She then went backwards at 14m, stopped talking etc.  I noticed things were different with her then her little sister arrived staying in hospital for the 1st 3m ,  DD1 was missing out on alot which we put it down to this as she was approaching 2. We than did Speech and her little sister passed away. After assesments and therapy she was diagnosed as she was approaching 5 and starting prep with Mild Intellectual Impairment. This came as a shock to us as she seemed to be doing all the normal milestones on time for her age in the 1st 12 months.  Then 8 months later she also has ADHD

We kind of have a feeling was in imnunisation that had done this to our DD1 as we watch DVD's and she seemed to respond to us in the 1st year.  

Im now worried if something is with DP & I , I have always wanted to be a mum, although our daughter is the sunshine of my life, though since she was diagnosed we had it tough but dealing with it & she seems to be improving.  I would love a healthy little bubby to bring home and so scared and feel robbed that we should be over the moon for this pregnancy and yet dont feel this as we wanted this for so long.

#7 rose_butterfly

Posted 24 December 2012 - 08:00 PM

We had a scan on the 20th Dec. Everything looked good & heartbeat was strong.

4 days later christmas Eve morning at 4am I had a gush of bright red blood.
After blood test for HCG our reading was good which was 77000 today at 7 weeks.

Scan showed a perigestional Sac Haetoma.   Has anyone experienced this. Would love to hear of your advice. After 3 1/2 years of trying for a baby and after losing our little girl I feel like we have been shattered once again.

We just have to wait this out if we go on to having a miscarriage or bubby holds on strong.

#8 butterflyangels

Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:52 AM

Wow I have just come across this thread, congratulations K on your pregnancy, I am so excited for you.
As you know my pregnancies after stillbirths haven't been sucessful i can understand your fears, (pregnancy I fear so much I won't be doing it again) has the bleeding stopped or settled, it is common to bleed throughout your pregnancy.
There is a pregnancy after stillbirth group of fb if you would like me to add you to it.

Mandy




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Student shocked by surprise baby

Kate Hudson, 22, was on a dream European holiday with friends. She didn't realise she was about to become a mum.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.