Jump to content

Questions from a first time toilet trainer


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 TillyTake2

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:32 PM

Hi,

I have a son who will be 2 in a couple of weeks. He has recently started telling me if he's done a poo & shown interest in the toilet etc.

I bought him a potty and some undies recently. He's been happily sitting on the potty when I go to the toilet or before baths etc & today I decided to try the undies.

He was quite happy with them & I got him to sit on the potty every couple of hours (but no wee). He has two accidents, the first one he didn't say anything at all & the second one he said poopy as he was weeing (no poo).

Both times I just said "ooh look, a wee, wees are for the potty, let's sit on the potty". Which he did. We then changed his undies, cleaned up & continued on our way with me reminding him to tell mummy & do wee wees on the potty.

His language is great (4-5 word sentences, hundreds of words) so from that perspective I know he can communicate.

I'm wondering if this is a normal start to toilet training? Is it normal for them to have lots of accidents before doing their first wee on the potty? I'm not bothered but I don't want to start too early & muck it up for later. I just thought now being warm etc was a good time.

Thanks original.gif

#2 Mose

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:38 PM

Sorry I can't help, but will be stalking.

You've described my situation down to a tee.  It's hard to know when they speak so well (compared to other nearly 2 year olds), whether their comprehension is as good as their own language skills would suggest isn't it?!  Like you, I am keen to try toilet training, but not too bothered if it doesn't work out and we end up back in nappies for a while....just don't want to make any moves that will make the whole process harder!

#3 Tesseract

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:43 PM

Stalking too.

#4 IsolaBella

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

I have fund that 2-3 yrs kids can be very resistant. DD had 6 wks of doing poo and some wees on the toilet ( her telling me she needed to go ) and then she refused to go near toilet for another 6 m. TT at 2.75 yrs but at just turned 3 we still have defiant days where she refuses to go to the toilet.

The boys TT in 5 days at 3.25 yrs.

Edited by lsolaBella, 17 December 2012 - 12:48 PM.


#5 MrsW87

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Very normal. My DS1 is 2.5 and has recently TT. I found for him, it was better to have him in nothing at all for a while because having undies or pants on gave that false sense of a security of a nappy being there. I just took him to the toilet every hour, and reminded every half hour and after a few days he started telling me he needed to go. He is TT at home during the day, I still put a nappy on him if we go out and when he sleeps because Im taking it one step at a time. He also still has accidents. Yesterday he had 2, a wee and a poo so its a slow process.

Once he was OK for a few days and had started telling me before he needed to go, I put loose pants on him so that he could take them off himself if he was outside or I wasn't near him. A few days after that, we graduated to undies. Now he wears undies all day! (except sleep times)

I think for him, wearing nothing and being able to 'see' the wee made it easier for him to associate everything. Oh we also never used a potty, it was always just straight onto the toilet. He didn't like the potty at all.

Good luck OP original.gif

#6 Teajay

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

My DS is 2.5 yrs and we are finally making progress with toilet training. He has been interested in the toilet for 6 months now. The progress started when he saw the other kids at daycare using the toilet and then he decided he too wanted to go to the toilet since then we have'nt looked back. He wont tell me he needs to go yet so i put him on the potty when he starts showing signs he needs to go (fidgeting, touching his penis, getting distracted from whatever he is doing) and we have only had 3 accidents so far. I have found he does his poo in the morning while he still has a nappy on and the MCHN has said this is normal progression.

My suggestion is put the potty in the bathroom and turn on a tap while your DS is sitting on it, this works a treat for my DS as soon as he hears the water he starts wee'ing and gets so excited running around the house yelling "i did it, my doodle works"

good luck OP toilet training is definately the hardest part of parenting i have come across so far!

#7 TillyTake2

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:29 PM

Thanks. We put a nappy back on for the afternoon as we were out but we'll try again tomorrow original.gif

#8 mumandboys

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:01 PM

Yes that sounds very normal to me.

Remember that they have been used to just letting go with no consequences since birth.  It must be a very hard habit to break.

Mine have varied, but generally started off with many accidents, but greatly reduced the number of changes within a week.  I think they need a few accidents to remind them that all of a sudden, they have to be in a particular place, and get their undies down before starting to wee/poo.

Good luck! TT is horrid, but no nappies is bliss!!

#9 SeaPrincess

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:12 PM

OP, it sounds very normal to me.  I think most children need to have a few accidents to make the connections needed to recognise the feeling of needing to go and getting to the right place. Your response is what he needs - no fuss, clean it up and remind him about the potty.

As far as saying he was poopy when he only did wee, I had 1 child who always said he needed to wee and one who always said he needed to poo.  2 of mine got wee first, the other demanded the potty one day for a poo without ever having done anything in the potty before (although he'd been sitting on it at bathtime for about a year!)

I didn't find TT too much of a bother and all 3 of mine were out of nappies before they were 2.  It didn't take 3 days or 5 days, but there was no pressure - if it's stressful for either of you, give it a break.

Good luck.

#10 Lucygoosey1

Posted 17 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

We also found the no pants at home really helpful for the first little while.  I'd remind or take my DD to the potty every hour or so in the beginning.  I praised her lots and she was very happy with herself.  


#11 bluedragon

Posted 17 December 2012 - 08:11 PM

I don't belong here yet as DS is only 18 months but thought my story might be of use.

We have just done potty training with him and while not 100% with wees yet (still has the odd accident when too engrossed in something) he only wear nappies overnight now.

We did 1 naked day where we watched him at all times looking for any indications he needed to go and so we could act ASAP if he did. Since then he has just worn pants and no undies (commando). The technique we used was if we could tell he needed to go or caught him in the act we would put him straight on the potty saying something like 'wees go in the potty' (same regardless of naked or not). The idea behind commando is that undies feel a bit like nappies in that they are tight(ish) and contain things a bit, particularly poos. When just in pants the feeling is less like nappies and not as nice with soggy pants clinging and wee running down their legs etc.. This makes using the potty more appealing and helps them work out the physical side of things, ie when I relax these muscles I release wee.

It has worked really well for us and by about 5 days he was very reliable. We have done elimination communication with him so we had a little head start in that he was already used to the potty and understood what it was for and I new his signs for needing to go pretty well.

I used this eBook and it explains it better than I probably have. Good luck, sounds like he's doing pretty well so far!

#12 BB1511

Posted 17 December 2012 - 09:29 PM

I have been TT my DS 25 mo ths over the. Past couple of weeks. It has been mostly driven by him once he got the taste of wearing undies. There are quite a few accidents. He is good with doing wees in the toilet. He won't tell me he needs to o but so long as I take him regularly he is fine. Poos are a bit harder. I think he will get there eventually.  I would rather poo in undies than wees. Just do it in your own time and don't force him. If wants to do it then good if not wait and try another time. His Childcare have also been good with helping train him.

#13 BRB

Posted 17 December 2012 - 09:50 PM

I have been TT my DS 25 months for a couple weeks now. I stayed home for 2 days with him. No nappy and we went to the toilet every 30-45 min. We then ventured out the house as normal still no nappy. He wears a nappy for nights and nap and that's it.  He doesn't tell us everytime he needs to go but as PP said as long as we take him often all is good. I was concerned he wouldn't understand but the first few days we just spike about adults going to the big toilet eg mummy does wee on the toilet who else does wee on the big toilet? Daddy, grandpa etc. my DS language is not as advanced as ur DS and he seems to understand.

#14 findingada

Posted 17 December 2012 - 10:51 PM

I had my twin boys day and night trained by 2 years 2 weeks but they could not pull down/up their own pants and could not wash their hands independently. My twin boys were reliably "toilet timed" at 10 months and for 6 glorious weeks there was not one poo in a nappy, then I dropped it and I didn't pick it up again until they were 18 months old. I was basically training/timing them from again from 18 months onward. They knew when they were doing it at around 20 months but actually translating that to "walking-to-the-toilet-pulling-pants-down-and-sitting-on-the-toilet-without-me-watching" happened at just over 2.5 years. I am just starting toilet training with my third boy at 2.5 years of age because I don't really have the time to spend helping him with all the other steps and washing one set of nappies hardly seems as big a problem as it did with the twins. I should also mention that lots of people have a different definition of what it means to be toilet trained and the spectrum is wide: some think toilet timing/sensing means they are trained (where the parent does everything except the actual poo/wee), right through to "they are not trained until they are day and night trained, go to the toilet on their own, pull-down their pants, wipe their bottoms, pull-up their pants, wash and dry their hands". For me, I call it when I don't have to wash any more nappies. The other thing to be mindful of is that most parents revise history - I have probably done it too. I am sure you have started to suspect it but I am fairly certain that, as time passes, all the hard times will be erased from our memories and eventually we will assure our children that they were no trouble at all and they were fully toilet trained when they were 1 year old ("So what on Earth are you doing with my grandchild!" ... but I digress). Basically,  just be mindful of those confounding variables when talking to other parents on the topic.  

In my experience, toilet training does not usually show linear progression - most seem to get some success initially, then it appears that things go backwards, things go forwards, things go backward, things go forward and so on. Eventually they become reliably trained sometime before their 18th birthday. It can take years for some children to have zero accidents (and I am talking night time training here too). I think it is better to see it as an iterative process that takes time. Just because they had no accidents yesterday doesn't mean that they will have no accidents today. We all get a bit excited at the thought of no more nappies, they get excited that they are poo-ing and wee-ing like mummy and daddy, most kids then get a bit anxious - especially if you go hard on the rewards or overdone emotional reactions ("Quick ring someone and tell them he trained in just 2 days!!").

I think the best advice is to just relax, don't overdo the jubilation with successes, and try hard to re-program yourself to not feel disappointment at accidents. It may seem obvious but most children are hyper sensitive to their mother's non-verbal communication. So when you think you are not showing disappointment, your child can see the truth in that raised eyebrow. Anxiety in children can build overtime so while you may be able to bribe your way through it initially, the next time you might be faced with a bigger challenge. In summary, it is entirely common to make progress then regress. Expect more of it and you will help to minimise the anxiety (for you and them) associated with the process. Keep in mind I am one of those people who think that babies are not actually mindless when it comes to poos and wees at any age - they know something is going on but we train them to do their business in a nappy. So when we decide to take off the nappy and say "actually now you do it in the entry to the abyss we call the TOILET now", we are actually trying to break a habit we have trained them to do. I also like to use an anecdote I picked up from a documentary maker who was a passenger on a fishing boat while filming a doco once. Basically he was told he needed to do his business by while sitting on a wire seat hanging off the edge of a boat on the open seas. The surprised doco maker said the thought of it was enough to make his bowels seize up for 3 days. I kind of think that our children might go through the same thing when we start to toilet train them ...

Edited by motherwrites, 17 December 2012 - 11:15 PM.


#15 Broxie

Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:02 PM

QUOTE (Teajay @ 17/12/2012, 01:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My suggestion is put the potty in the bathroom and turn on a tap while your DS is sitting on it, this works a treat for my DS as soon as he hears the water he starts wee'ing and gets so excited running around the house yelling "i did it, my doodle works"


My DP did something similar when we got our BFP  ph34r.gif

#16 Le-a

Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:26 PM

QUOTE (Broxie @ 18/12/2012, 12:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DP did something similar when we got our BFP  ph34r.gif

ROFL!

#17 bluedragon

Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:58 PM

motherwrites brings up some good points.

We are teaching DS to push his pants down and pull them up by himself too, he's getting better at washing his hands but can't physically reach or turn the taps on yet so still needs help. I personally think you can call them toilet trained while still needing some help with things, some things take them a while to be able to do because of their size, dexterity etc. But just because they can't wipe their bottom doesnt mean they're not in control of when and where they go to the toilet.

It definitely isn't a linear process, there will always be backward steps some times, days when there are more accidents than successes. I've noticed there are often plateaus too, then all of a sudden things just click and they suddenly improve significantly.

Ive found by keeping really calm and matter of fact about things and not showing any disappointment, anxiety, anger etc. really helps. By not getting cross or disappointed at the accidents and just gently encouraging at success they respond really well. There is no pressure on them and they are self motivated to learn not motivated by fear or rewards.

#18 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:08 AM

He might not be quite ready for TT yet. When my older two TTed we did not have many accidents. I think it's because we followed their lead and waited until they started TT themselves.

DD1 started sitting on the potty at bath time and the next day no nappies. No accidents. So easy, she mostly trained herself. Night training took much longer though.

DD started sitting on the potty of her own bat too. She took a little longer to TT but she also had very few accidents.

I never took my kids to the toilet every hour - 'toilet timing'. Too much work! And I think if you need to do that than they are possibly not ready for TT.

Don't bother with undies at home. Let them run around in the nude is much easier.

My 2 year old is not TT yet. She holds on for a long time and will tell us she has done a poo. But when we have attempted to sit her on the potty or toilet she just doesn't have any idea what she has to do. I am not going to push it. I think it won't be long before she will start TT herself so will just wait and follow her lead.

Give it a few days. If he doesn't improve just back off for awhile. No rush, he will get there eventually.

#19 Alpha_Chook

Posted 19 December 2012 - 07:14 PM

Eamon did a wee on the potty one day out of the blue and we started "training" then...we had two bad days of wee and accidents everywhere but since then he has been really good. It took him a little while to get the hang on doing poos without a nappy on but he eventually got it and now he uses the regular toilet, he refuses to use his special seat now!!

#20 laridae

Posted 21 December 2012 - 02:49 PM

DD toilet trained in a couple of days (at about 2years, 3 months).  But she had been in cloth nappies and would demand her nappy be changed after every wee/poo for a while before we started.

No accidents the first day (of wearing undies), second day, a poo accident, none the 3rd day, then another poo one.  And then a couple of wee accidents, but mastered the potty poo (over the weekend).
Since then - very few accidents.  Still can't wipe her bum with much success, or turn on/off taps to wash hands, but I consider that toilet trained.
She night trained at the same time, had only a couple of nights were she hasn't woken up dry (and has woken me up a few times wanting to go).

I think when they are ready it is supposed to be very easy.

#21 Meiakacha

Posted 22 January 2013 - 02:08 PM

Hi there, new to EB and absolutely love this resource. My son is 2 and we are toilet training at the moment. He is TT in the day, yet I still put a nappy on him when he sleeps, although most mornings he wakes up with a dry nappy and an urge to go to the toilet, which is great. It took us about 3 weeks to get to completely dry days, and being in underwear all day. I reassure you though that it was a frustrating and slow process. What we found worked for us is allowing him to stay in his undies for approx 5-10 mins after having an accident in them, provided that it wasnt poo. What this meant is that he felt uncomfortable and acknowledged the fact that wees needed to be done in the toilet. After an accident he would come to me and say "mummy mummy" with a sad look on his face and I would then ask him repeatedly where do we do wee and poo, he then responds with "on the toilet". He has fantastic communication skills for his age and I think that made the process a little easier. Constant reassurance and reminders is what worked for us. Also bought the fisher price potty that sings once he does a wee and he loves it. Hope this helps rolleyes.gif  rolleyes.gif

#22 katyp

Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:27 PM

QUOTE (Teajay @ 17/12/2012, 12:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DS as soon as he hears the water he starts wee'ing and gets so excited running around the house yelling "i did it, my doodle works"

good luck OP toilet training is definately the hardest part of parenting i have come across so far!

OMG that is the funniest thing ever!!! If you captured that and YouTube it...you would be a global hit!!  hahahaha...I still have tears and a stitch in my cheeks...love it!!! Soooo cute!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

The #loveyourlines Instagram account taking on body issues

A new Instagram account, LoveYourLines, has put the call out for to change the way we view stretch marks.

Mum gets diploma 51 years after being thrown out of school over pregnancy

Sandra Lantz was about six months pregnant and four months from graduation when she was forced to leave high school. Now, more than half a century later, she has finally graduated.

The lowdown on male midwives

How would you feel about having a male midwife assist your baby's birth? For a growing number of mums, the idea is a reality - and the experts all agree that it's something that should be encouraged.

Bomb threat at daycare centre

Worried parents took to social media yesterday after their children's daycare was evacuated due to a bomb threat.

Unusual celebrity baby names

Celebrities love to use their imaginations when it comes to naming their kids! Here's a gallery of some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

5 fears I've overcome since becoming a mum

Motherhood has a way of putting any phobias you had pre-parenthood into perspective: you either realise they?re a pointless waste of energy or they simply vanish in a sleep-deprived haze.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Going viral

Mum gives birth at school

A video of a three-year-old taking the ice bucket challenge has gone viral, but many aren't impressed.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.