Jump to content

WWYD? Drinking problem of midwife? UPDATE POST 44


  • Please log in to reply
52 replies to this topic

#1 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:09 PM

I am very conflicted here.  A very close family member I believe has a drinking problem.  She is a midwife (has been for over 30 years), and her drinking has been what I would class as an issue for close to 15 or so years.

However, previously she would drink more on her days off (she is a very nasty drunk too), and from what I saw not so much when she was due to work within the next 24 hours.  This has changed though over the last few years.

She is definately what I would class as an alcoholic.  At the moment her drink of choice is cask port, which she drinks out of normal size glasses (so about 250ml), and I know that she drinks at least a litre a day.  Everytime that I talk to her, she is either very obviously intoxicated, or I can't get hold of her because she is asleep (this can be any time day or night), or she has just woken up and feels ill.  Unless she is intoxicated somewhat, she says she always feels ill.

I have in the past tried to talk to her and suggest that maybe she needs help and she flies off the handle and gets abusive defending herself, and saying she does not have a problem.  

She has on many many times emotionally (and when I was younger physically) abused me, to the point where I changed my phone number last year as I was over it.  The only reason that contact was re established was because I received a phone call in the middle of the night saying that she had had a fall at home, and had broken her femur.

Anyway I am a big girl, and I have had enough of all the drama so I am cutting off contact for good.  My only issue is that I am worried about her profession and her putting at risk the lives of mothers and babies because of her problem.  I have had this worry for a while, and I know that some people will criticise because I haven't done anything sooner, but I was hoping she would change.  I am certain now that she will not, as she sees everyone else as the problem.

She works night shift, and 90% of the time she will basically drink from mid morning till 1pm or so.  She will then got to bed,(or pass out)  and get up at about 7pm, get ready and go to work for a 9pm start.  So my question is (and I am pretty sure I already know the answer), do you think that getting very drunk and then going to work in a job such as a midwife 8 hours or less later is something that I should report?

Edited by KylieMin0gue, 17 December 2012 - 07:56 PM.


#2 triangle

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:15 PM

QUOTE (KylieMin0gue @ 16/12/2012, 11:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am very conflicted here.  A very close family member I believe has a drinking problem.  She is a midwife (has been for over 30 years), and her drinking has been what I would class as an issue for close to 15 or so years.

However, previously she would drink more on her days off (she is a very nasty drunk too), and from what I saw not so much when she was due to work within the next 24 hours.  This has changed though over the last few years.

She is definately what I would class as an alcoholic.  At the moment her drink of choice is cask port, which she drinks out of normal size glasses (so about 250ml), and I know that she drinks at least a litre a day.  Everytime that I talk to her, she is either very obviously intoxicated, or I can't get hold of her because she is asleep (this can be any time day or night), or she has just woken up and feels ill.  Unless she is intoxicated somewhat, she says she always feels ill.

I have in the past tried to talk to her and suggest that maybe she needs help and she flies off the handle and gets abusive defending herself, and saying she does not have a problem.  

She has on many many times emotionally (and when I was younger physically) abused me, to the point where I changed my phone number last year as I was over it.  The only reason that contact was re established was because I received a phone call in the middle of the night saying that she had had a fall at home, and had broken her femur.

Anyway I am a big girl, and I have had enough of all the drama so I am cutting off contact for good.  My only issue is that I am worried about her profession and her putting at risk the lives of mothers and babies because of her problem.  I have had this worry for a while, and I know that some people will criticise because I haven't done anything sooner, but I was hoping she would change.  I am certain now that she will not, as she sees everyone else as the problem.

She works night shift, and 90% of the time she will basically drink from mid morning till 1pm or so.  She will then got to bed,(or pass out)  and get up at about 7pm, get ready and go to work for a 9pm start.  So my question is (and I am pretty sure I already know the answer), do you think that getting very drunk and then going to work in a job such as a midwife 8 hours or less later is something that I should report?



Check out the ahpra website, jsut google. It is the new registration body for health professionals. THere should be info on there. Or if not, search for the relevant nursing and midwifery board if your state and give them a call.

#3 asdf89

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:18 PM

Unsure of what state you're in... but I am friends with nurses in QLD and they've told me that 'as long as you're alright to drive, you're allowed to work' - i.e. .05 and under is fine. (i'm not sure if that's an actual rule, or just accepted practice)

If you are worried, report her to the relevant nursing authorities. Again not sure how much action would be taken on a report from a (relatively) uninvolved person (i.e. you're not a co-worker or patient) but if her drinking is as bad as you say, her co-workers have probably noticed as well.

#4 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:19 PM

QUOTE (triangle @ 16/12/2012, 10:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Check out the ahpra website, jsut google. It is the new registration body for health professionals. THere should be info on there. Or if not, search for the relevant nursing and midwifery board if your state and give them a call.



Yes I know about APHRA as I myself am a student nurse.

#5 starsg

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:24 PM


If her job was one which didn't involve caring for extremely vulnerable newborns and their mothers, I might think twice but a midwife is a role of great care and responsibility. Yes, I think you need to report her. If something awful happened to one of the women or babies in her care because she was not 100% on the ball, I think you would feel awful and although it doesn't seem like a nice thing to do, perhaps being faced with the prospect of losing her job may prompt her to seek help which can only be a good thing.

#6 KeepTheFaith

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:30 PM

I'm not sure if this applies to students, but I believe that all AHPRA full registrants are required, as part of their registration, to report on other AHPRA registered professionals when there are concerns such as this. I do know that it doesn't matter what discipline- I recently assisted a psychologist in making a complaint about a nurse, for example, when the nurse was risking patient safety at a Community clinic.

I would call AHPRA and discuss it further- if she is as bad as you say, then the potential for 'doing damage' is extremely high (assuming it hasn't already happened).

#7 Ange

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:41 PM

QUOTE (asdf89 @ 16/12/2012, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Unsure of what state you're in... but I am friends with nurses in QLD and they've told me that 'as long as you're alright to drive, you're allowed to work' - i.e. .05 and under is fine. (i'm not sure if that's an actual rule, or just accepted practice)


Really?? I'm under the understanding that it is zero alcohol allowed in your system whilst working! I'd be very shocked if a co-worker had a BAL of 0.01-0.05! (If a nurse under my shift had alcohol before work, I'd be telling her/him to go home)!


#8 asdf89

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:48 PM

QUOTE (Ange @ 16/12/2012, 11:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Really?? I'm under the understanding that it is zero alcohol allowed in your system whilst working! I'd be very shocked if a co-worker had a BAL of 0.01-0.05! (If a nurse under my shift had alcohol before work, I'd be telling her/him to go home)!



It came up when talking about doctors on call (as in.. what happens if they have a drink with dinner and then get called in) ... as I said I don't know what the official rule is.

#9 KeepTheFaith

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:48 PM

BTW, I'm not a nurse, but I do work with nurses (most of whom are midwives) in Far North Queensland. Our organization has a drug and alcohol management plan that includes being 0.00 for alcohol whilst on duty. We even have random breath testing to ensure this (as we do high risk remote work).

I would be really surprised if any nursing staff were allowed to practice with any sort of positive blood alcohol level.

#10 ~Sasquatch~

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:48 PM

Absolutely report her. This isn't about disagreeing with her life styles choices, she is potentially putting mums and babies at risk. There are around 10 standard drinks in a 750ml of wine. I think port being a fortified spirit it would be more. So approx 15 standard drinks a litre at least. Which would then take 15 hours to leave her system. According to you she is leaving it 8 max. She would also be well over the limit to drive.

You could also call the hospital, ask to remain anon and tell them that she is coming into work drunk.

#11 Superman+4sisters

Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:54 PM

Please report her. Tomorrow morning. You've been sitting on this for long enough. Time to take action. Call AHPRA: https://www.ahpra.gov.au/Notifications-and-...tification.aspx

From their website:
The professional conduct of health practitioners and students is guided by the ‘Codes and Guidelines’ and ‘Registration Standards’ of their relevant health profession.

Any person can notify AHPRA with concerns relating to the conduct of a registered health practitioner or student.

When a conduct-related notification is received by AHPRA, the health practitioner or student may be investigated by a relevant National Board, to ensure appropriate action is taken, if required, to protect the public.

Notifiable Conduct
Practitioners, employers and education providers are all mandated by law to report certain notifiable conduct relating to a practitioner or student. Registered practitioners who fail to report notifiable conduct may face disciplinary action by their National Board.

Such conduct includes:

•intoxication by alcohol or drugs while practising or training in the profession
•engagement in sexual misconduct in connection with the practice or training of the profession
•an impairment that places the public at risk of substantial harm
•a significant departure from accepted professional standards that places the public at risk of harm

How to make a notification:
1. You can make a notification about a registered health professional or student by downloading the Notification Form - NOTF-00 (663 KB,PDF), completing and mailing it to the AHPRA office in your state or territory.

2. If you have concerns regarding completing the form, need assistance or an interpreter, phone AHPRA on 1300 419 495 and ask to speak to a Notifications Officer in your state or territory.


https://www.ahpra.gov.au/Notifications-and-...tification.aspx

Please. Just do it. And thanks original.gif

#12 EsmeLennox

Posted 16 December 2012 - 11:42 PM

I too think you should report her. Her job requires clear thinking and the ability to make sound decisions, sometimes in very pressured environments. I know I wouldn't want any health professional administering a drug protocol on me for example while they were under the influence.

You know this about your aunt, you know she is probably putting patients at risk, IMO you have an ethical obligation to report.

Edited by Jemstar, 16 December 2012 - 11:43 PM.


#13 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 16 December 2012 - 11:44 PM

QUOTE (Jemstar @ 17/12/2012, 12:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I too think you should report her. Her job requires clear thinking and the ability to make sound decisions, sometimes in very pressured environments. I know I wouldn't want any health professional administering a drug protocol on me for example while they were under the influence.

You know this about your aunt, you know she is probably putting patients at risk, IMO you have an ethical obligation to report.


Not my aunt, is in fact my mother

#14 EsmeLennox

Posted 16 December 2012 - 11:49 PM

Apologies, I don't know where I got aunt from! From memory you have posted about this before. You need to do something. It's tough when it's a family member, but each and every one of us had a duty of care to people in our community and I think this is a very serious situation indeed.


#15 Brrrroooce!

Posted 16 December 2012 - 11:56 PM

Does she drive to work?

#16 ~TSC~

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:18 AM

You've posted about her before I think? Report her to AHPRA. And contact her work in writing of your concerns. Keep doing it until there's action

#17 JustBeige

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:43 AM

I would report her to AHPRA and I would also call the police when I know what shift she is on and tell them that this person 9 out of 10 times drives to work drunk and what profession she is in.


You will truly hate yourself if she kills someone either in  hospital or on the road.

If she gets reported to work AND the police, then maybe this is the 'rock bottom' she will need to stop.

Edited by JustBeige, 17 December 2012 - 05:44 AM.


#18 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:51 AM

QUOTE (Brrrroooce! @ 17/12/2012, 12:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Does she drive to work?


Yes she drives to work.  She has never had to do a breath test on the way to work before though.  I remember her telling me a couple of years ago that there was a random breath testing thing set up, and she pulled in, but they just waved her on when they saw her uniform and she told them she was on the way to work.  The drive is also only about 10 minutes, and there are rarely police or breath testing stations in the area at the time that she drives to work.

I do know that she used to (not sure now) drive to the local pub and drink and play the pokies (she has a gambling problem too I believe, as I have seen her blow $1000 in the space of a couple of hours) and then drive home.  I only know this as I caught her once, and she was just about veering down the road, and when I followed her home, she could barely walk.  Her car also has numerous scratch marks near the drivers side door, where it is obviously that she has struggled to get her key in the lock to unlock it and missed. (IYKMIM)
She also once asked DP to take her car to the tyre place to get 2 new tyres.  (She can't do anything for herself)  The guy at the shop took one of the tyres off and had to throw away the rim as it was so buckled it was dangerous.  He said the only way that this could have really been caused is by hitting the kerb at a reasonably high speed, and he was surprised nothing else on that side of the car was damaged.

#19 SplashingRainbows

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:12 AM

I'm pretty sure you know you should report your mother.

You also know who to and how.

Something's stopping you. Do you know what that is? It might help you more to work through that than whether we would all report your mum. You already know we all would, and that what she is doing is highly dangerous.

#20 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

QUOTE (brighton14 @ 17/12/2012, 06:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm pretty sure you know you should report your mother.

You also know who to and how.

Something's stopping you. Do you know what that is? It might help you more to work through that than whether we would all report your mum. You already know we all would, and that what she is doing is highly dangerous.


I think the reason I haven't reported her is because she is my mother and every bad thing that has happened so far in her life has been blamed on me.  As a child (from about 7 years of age) I was told I was the reason her and my father had marital difficulties. (They were both having extra marital affairs though I have since found out)  They eventually divorced when I was 20.  I was also told on numerous occasions that I was unwanted and I was a 'bad kid'.  For the record I was a straight A student, and I was a good kid.  I was called all the names under the sun by her, and I mean really horrid names, like 'dirty c*&t etc (and she still does to this day when she is angry and blaming me for something), and physically abused.  (Was dragged around by my hair, once had my head banged so hard on my wooden bed head that I nearly blacked out.  This was when I was 13)

Anyway I am pretty sure she will figure out who has reported her, and I am so sick of being blamed for things in her life.  The only people who know exactly what she is like, and how bad she is is my sister (who was also abused, but not to the same extent), and my dad.  (Although he turned a blind eye, and is now not interested in hearing about it)  People actually think that my sister and I exaggerate the way out mother treated us and what she is like today, but many have seen glimpses of her true self when she has had outbursts at family things etc., but even then they all turn a blind eye.

#21 winkywonkeydonkey

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:34 AM

I'm sure i have read this before.

There is nothing else you can do but report her. You may have to suffer the consequences but she is putting mums and babies at risk.

#22 lozoodle

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:48 AM

Absolutely you should report her.

#23 liveworkplay

Posted 17 December 2012 - 07:01 AM

Every hospital I have ever worked in had a 0% alcohol polo,y.
AHPRA are extremely helpful over the phone (rang for something completely different).

#24 ubermum

Posted 17 December 2012 - 07:35 AM

QUOTE (KylieMin0gue @ 17/12/2012, 07:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the reason I haven't reported her is because she is my mother and every bad thing that has happened so far in her life has been blamed on me.

Yeah, chances are she will blame you for this too if you dob her in. However, she won't know for sure, it could be anyone and your concious will be clear. Dob her in to AHPRA, they'll investigate.

#25 Soontobegran

Posted 17 December 2012 - 08:36 AM

You've posted this before OP and it was a long time ago. You were given the same responses then as you are now so I will not repeat what I said as you obviously chose to let it go and only you know the reasons for that. sad.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.