Jump to content

5yr old has become a nightmare
Can't work out why


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 Natttmumm

Posted 16 December 2012 - 06:40 PM

DD1 has just turned 5. She'been a difficult child all her life except at 4 years it all stopped and she was so good, the last year has been a breeze. We thought we turned the corner which was a welcomed relief. The last few weeks it's all come back, the screaming tantrums on and off all day, screaming going to bed, fighting about every single thing, so rude and her attitude is so bad. It's starting to turn the family upside down again like it did when she was little. DH and I try to be on the same page and stay clam but after a day of this behaviour everyone is on edge and we end up yelling.

Has anyone else experienced this at age 5? If so what did you do, any advice would be great.
Time out only makes the tantrum worse and she trashes her room in a rage, taking toys away means the tantrum goes on for hours and hours and then she's up really late at night screaming - last night it went on from 8 until 930pm. We have tried the positive rewards but seems she just can't help herself at the moment.
What works with this age group?


#2 cinnabubble

Posted 16 December 2012 - 06:59 PM

I haven't encountered that level of destruction, but in my experience, kids go a bit mad in the months before they start school. My older daughter, who is dramatic, but not usually volatile, kicked one of her daycare educators so hard she sought medical assistance in the last months before she started school. Kids just get horrible around then.

#3 miajas

Posted 16 December 2012 - 07:15 PM

I can't offer any great advise as we are dealing with exactly the same issues with DD1 who is the same age and starting school next year.  DD1 screams and rants as soon as we say 'no', doesn't listen, has a major attitude, and has now starting saying 'I hate you'.   At first it was 'I don't care' but when she got no reaction with that the 'I hate you' has started and sometimes I want to yell back ' I feel the same right about now' - but I have never nor will I.  She will also throw things and has hit me (like a smack) on a few occasions.

Just today she was sent to her room for not listening, saying I hate you and hitting me all because I said no to going out in the hot sun for a little while.  She fell asleep for nearly 2hrs as I said she couldn't move from the bed.
We did start an award system where she earns pocket money at the end of the week. It worked great for the first few weeks then after that it failed and she just didn't get it.  

Everyone keeps saying 'she'll be better once school starts, she's probably just bored'.

ETA: DH has put her in a corner a few times and stands there and keeps telling her to turn around and face the corner until she does, it seems to calm her down once she does start listening.

Edited by miajas, 16 December 2012 - 07:17 PM.


#4 Natttmumm

Posted 17 December 2012 - 08:39 AM

Must be the age by the sounds of it. Really hoping I don't get that every day after school next year

#5 Lishyfips

Posted 31 December 2012 - 04:06 PM

When I read your post I felt as though I could have written it. Exactly the same thing happening with my 5 year of daughter every day for the past week or so.
I've been wondering if her daily psycho tantrums were diet related (she's eaten a whole lot of cherries and berries lately, I thought maybe that was it). They seem to be set off by random, minor incidents, no real pattern or predictability there.
I'm now thinking it's more to do with the transition between kinder and school, and maybe it's as simple as boredom or restlessness because we've lost our daily routine in the last week and a bit.
I share your frustration, though - I thought her crazy tantrum years were behind us!

#6 mum2amonkey

Posted 09 January 2013 - 03:55 PM

Same is happening here with DS1 who is also 5 and off to school in a couple of weeks.

The tantrums of 1-100 are painful, bad attitude, completely grump and everything is a battle.

I agree that although we've got alot going on he probably slightly bored, ready to be stimulated, tired from the festive season and we also have bub#3 due anyday so the changes coming school and baby would be playing on his mind.

However dealing with it day to day is exhausting...I take a deep breath count to 5 and try to model me staying calm even if he isn't. My rules are instead of the 1-100 reaction he needs to ask for my help with dealing with a problem or miss 3 and if not I send him to his room not to come out till he's over it.

Luckily for me I don't get the room trashed, lots of crying, screaming but eventually calms down and often finds something to do in there.

Good luck to all the others with crazy 5 year olds at this time of the year original.gif


#7 terri01

Posted 13 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

We went through this with my DD just before she started school and for the first few weeks of school (maybe even the first term I think).

It was so hard to stay calm and sometimes I didnt. After a day of it you just have enough. Anyway it didnt help anything. I watched a lot of super nanny to get some ideas. I love super nanny!!!!

I tried to remember that she was going through a big change and that I needed to have a bit of patience (as hard as it was). We gave a lot of praise for good behaviour (and sometimes a reward). We started a sticker chart (which she loved).

We also started time out. We didnt put her in her room though as I found she just had fun playing with her toys. I made her sit at the front door (it is at end of our small hallway so she is close enough to still see us but there is nothing fun there to do). If she tried to run out I would just put her back in (calmly even though inside I wanted to throttle her at times). I would just put her back and walk away. I didnt speak or show any emotion. Eventually she just stayed there (sometimes it took a while). I would set the timer on the microwave for 5 minutes and once the timer was finished (it would beep) I would go to her in the corner and get down on my knees and tell her what she had done and how that made me feel and ask her to apologise. We would then have a big hug and kiss and she would be allowed to leave the time out.

During the time out I would not start the timer until she was sitting there and was quiet (well mostly quiet as long as she wasnt screaming). If she continued screaming or trying to run out I would wait to start the timer or I would restart the timer (I would tell her I was doing this).

It was hard at first introducing it as it was different for her but she soon learned what was happening and it was so great. I still use the time out now but I rarely have to as her behaviour has dramatically improved.

I think it is a bit from her just growing up and also the way we have been dealing with it by staying calm and not yelling back or fighting with her.

We also had bed dramas. She was fine going to bed but would get up a few times a night trying to come in with us. She would chuck huge tantrums when we would try to put her back in her bed which would wake up my poor DS (who is younger than her). At times I gave in and just let her in as I was so tired (and my hubby works away most weeks and it was just easier). I was just making it worse so we agreed to not let her in and talked to her about it and said she was allowed in any time after 5am. We bought her a digital clock so that she could see it in the dark.

She fought it for a while but we didnt give in (there were many tantrums at 4am - the neighbours must have wondered what was going on). Anyway she soon realised we werent giving in and she started sleeping in her bed all night. It was so great!!! I would always make sure I praised her for sleeping well in her bed and she would get a sticker.

My DS always sleeps wonderfully in his bed and was getting a sticker every morning. She didnt like when he got a sticker and she didnt. I wouldnt rub her nose in the fact that he was getting one or anything but she would watch as I praised my DS and gave him the sticker. She soon became quiet proud of sleeping in her bed and we would give her high 5's and praise her for it along with the stickers.

Anyway things are so great and have been for a while now. It was hard at the start (as I have a bit of a temper and I found it hard not to let that out when she was driving me crazy) but me changing how I dealt with things and her realising that we werent going to tolerate the behaviour really worked.

We are going through a bit of the behaviour with my DS at the moment (not bed time problems though as he loves his sleep - so happy about this). He started school this year and I think just needs to let off some steam when he comes home. We are just doing what we did with DD. I also find that exercise really helps. It just staves off boredom so we go for lots of walks and bike rides and go to the park. My DS is learning to surf and so we go to the beach a lot. It is hard as I work 4 days but I do school hours and even though I am tired I try to do something most days (even if it is just jumping on the trampoline with them or playing a game after school/work). I find giving them just a little bit of time after school they are then happy to give me a bit of time to get the things done that I need to do to get organised for the next day and dinner etc.

I hope some of this helps. I am no expert but this is what has worked for us.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.