5yr old has become a nightmare
Can't work out why
, Dec 16 2012 06:40 PM
6 replies to this topic
Posted 16 December 2012 - 06:40 PM
DD1 has just turned 5. She'been a difficult child all her life except at 4 years it all stopped and she was so good, the last year has been a breeze. We thought we turned the corner which was a welcomed relief. The last few weeks it's all come back, the screaming tantrums on and off all day, screaming going to bed, fighting about every single thing, so rude and her attitude is so bad. It's starting to turn the family upside down again like it did when she was little. DH and I try to be on the same page and stay clam but after a day of this behaviour everyone is on edge and we end up yelling.
Has anyone else experienced this at age 5? If so what did you do, any advice would be great.
Time out only makes the tantrum worse and she trashes her room in a rage, taking toys away means the tantrum goes on for hours and hours and then she's up really late at night screaming - last night it went on from 8 until 930pm. We have tried the positive rewards but seems she just can't help herself at the moment.
What works with this age group?
Posted 16 December 2012 - 06:59 PM
I haven't encountered that level of destruction, but in my experience, kids go a bit mad in the months before they start school. My older daughter, who is dramatic, but not usually volatile, kicked one of her daycare educators so hard she sought medical assistance in the last months before she started school. Kids just get horrible around then.
Posted 16 December 2012 - 07:15 PM
I can't offer any great advise as we are dealing with exactly the same issues with DD1 who is the same age and starting school next year. DD1 screams and rants as soon as we say 'no', doesn't listen, has a major attitude, and has now starting saying 'I hate you'. At first it was 'I don't care' but when she got no reaction with that the 'I hate you' has started and sometimes I want to yell back ' I feel the same right about now' - but I have never nor will I. She will also throw things and has hit me (like a smack) on a few occasions.
Just today she was sent to her room for not listening, saying I hate you and hitting me all because I said no to going out in the hot sun for a little while. She fell asleep for nearly 2hrs as I said she couldn't move from the bed.
We did start an award system where she earns pocket money at the end of the week. It worked great for the first few weeks then after that it failed and she just didn't get it.
Everyone keeps saying 'she'll be better once school starts, she's probably just bored'.
ETA: DH has put her in a corner a few times and stands there and keeps telling her to turn around and face the corner until she does, it seems to calm her down once she does start listening.
Edited by miajas, 16 December 2012 - 07:17 PM.
Posted 17 December 2012 - 08:39 AM
Must be the age by the sounds of it. Really hoping I don't get that every day after school next year
Posted 31 December 2012 - 04:06 PM
When I read your post I felt as though I could have written it. Exactly the same thing happening with my 5 year of daughter every day for the past week or so.
I've been wondering if her daily psycho tantrums were diet related (she's eaten a whole lot of cherries and berries lately, I thought maybe that was it). They seem to be set off by random, minor incidents, no real pattern or predictability there.
I'm now thinking it's more to do with the transition between kinder and school, and maybe it's as simple as boredom or restlessness because we've lost our daily routine in the last week and a bit.
I share your frustration, though - I thought her crazy tantrum years were behind us!
Posted 09 January 2013 - 03:55 PM
Same is happening here with DS1 who is also 5 and off to school in a couple of weeks.
The tantrums of 1-100 are painful, bad attitude, completely grump and everything is a battle.
I agree that although we've got alot going on he probably slightly bored, ready to be stimulated, tired from the festive season and we also have bub#3 due anyday so the changes coming school and baby would be playing on his mind.
However dealing with it day to day is exhausting...I take a deep breath count to 5 and try to model me staying calm even if he isn't. My rules are instead of the 1-100 reaction he needs to ask for my help with dealing with a problem or miss 3 and if not I send him to his room not to come out till he's over it.
Luckily for me I don't get the room trashed, lots of crying, screaming but eventually calms down and often finds something to do in there.
Good luck to all the others with crazy 5 year olds at this time of the year
Posted 13 February 2013 - 01:09 PM
We went through this with my DD just before she started school and for the first few weeks of school (maybe even the first term I think).
It was so hard to stay calm and sometimes I didnt. After a day of it you just have enough. Anyway it didnt help anything. I watched a lot of super nanny to get some ideas. I love super nanny!!!!
I tried to remember that she was going through a big change and that I needed to have a bit of patience (as hard as it was). We gave a lot of praise for good behaviour (and sometimes a reward). We started a sticker chart (which she loved).
We also started time out. We didnt put her in her room though as I found she just had fun playing with her toys. I made her sit at the front door (it is at end of our small hallway so she is close enough to still see us but there is nothing fun there to do). If she tried to run out I would just put her back in (calmly even though inside I wanted to throttle her at times). I would just put her back and walk away. I didnt speak or show any emotion. Eventually she just stayed there (sometimes it took a while). I would set the timer on the microwave for 5 minutes and once the timer was finished (it would beep) I would go to her in the corner and get down on my knees and tell her what she had done and how that made me feel and ask her to apologise. We would then have a big hug and kiss and she would be allowed to leave the time out.
During the time out I would not start the timer until she was sitting there and was quiet (well mostly quiet as long as she wasnt screaming). If she continued screaming or trying to run out I would wait to start the timer or I would restart the timer (I would tell her I was doing this).
It was hard at first introducing it as it was different for her but she soon learned what was happening and it was so great. I still use the time out now but I rarely have to as her behaviour has dramatically improved.
I think it is a bit from her just growing up and also the way we have been dealing with it by staying calm and not yelling back or fighting with her.
We also had bed dramas. She was fine going to bed but would get up a few times a night trying to come in with us. She would chuck huge tantrums when we would try to put her back in her bed which would wake up my poor DS (who is younger than her). At times I gave in and just let her in as I was so tired (and my hubby works away most weeks and it was just easier). I was just making it worse so we agreed to not let her in and talked to her about it and said she was allowed in any time after 5am. We bought her a digital clock so that she could see it in the dark.
She fought it for a while but we didnt give in (there were many tantrums at 4am - the neighbours must have wondered what was going on). Anyway she soon realised we werent giving in and she started sleeping in her bed all night. It was so great!!! I would always make sure I praised her for sleeping well in her bed and she would get a sticker.
My DS always sleeps wonderfully in his bed and was getting a sticker every morning. She didnt like when he got a sticker and she didnt. I wouldnt rub her nose in the fact that he was getting one or anything but she would watch as I praised my DS and gave him the sticker. She soon became quiet proud of sleeping in her bed and we would give her high 5's and praise her for it along with the stickers.
Anyway things are so great and have been for a while now. It was hard at the start (as I have a bit of a temper and I found it hard not to let that out when she was driving me crazy) but me changing how I dealt with things and her realising that we werent going to tolerate the behaviour really worked.
We are going through a bit of the behaviour with my DS at the moment (not bed time problems though as he loves his sleep - so happy about this). He started school this year and I think just needs to let off some steam when he comes home. We are just doing what we did with DD. I also find that exercise really helps. It just staves off boredom so we go for lots of walks and bike rides and go to the park. My DS is learning to surf and so we go to the beach a lot. It is hard as I work 4 days but I do school hours and even though I am tired I try to do something most days (even if it is just jumping on the trampoline with them or playing a game after school/work). I find giving them just a little bit of time after school they are then happy to give me a bit of time to get the things done that I need to do to get organised for the next day and dinner etc.
I hope some of this helps. I am no expert but this is what has worked for us.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.
I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.
There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.
The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.
More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.
A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.
There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.
Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.
Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.
Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.
Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.
Sheryl Sandberg's advice
Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.
The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.
For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.
We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?
A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.
Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?
Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.
It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.
When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?
Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.
A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.
Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.
Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.
A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Sign up now!
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.