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2nd child questions


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#1 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 16 December 2012 - 05:34 PM

We have a glorious DS and are expecting our 2nd child mid next year. DS has been a relatively easy baby except for his crap sleeping and his specific preferences (ie hated the pram, refused to sleep in a cot, will only sleep in my arms during the day, boob addict) but we are blessed as he is a happy kid and doesn't cry much and has never been sick. I realize every child is different so our next one might be very different to DS. But I have a few questions.

1. We set up a nursery for DS with the intention he'd be in a cot in our room for the first 6-12 months and then would transition to his own room. Well DS wasn't having a bar of his own room or cot so setting up a nursery was kind of a waste of time, however I put all his clothes in there. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?

2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?

3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)

4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?

5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?

6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?

7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?

8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.

9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?

Sorry this is so long! I had heaps more questions but can't remember them at the moment! TIA original.gif

Edited by Sunnycat, 16 December 2012 - 05:43 PM.


#2 WYSIWYG

Posted 16 December 2012 - 05:50 PM

Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child? No, we didnt. We just got a bassinet to go in our room. It was never used as DD2 coslept with me.

Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges? I didn't find it all that difficuilt to be honest. I struggled with breast feeding emotionally as DD2 constantly wanted to feed but DD1 didn't quite understand why I couldn't do things for her immediately. I felt guilty that I couldn't give her the immediate attention that I used to be able to give her.

Is there anything you did differently second time around? Coslept.

If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult? I found it emotionally harder, but physically easier. I lasted longer than I did with DD1.

Are your children similar in temperament at all? Completely different.

Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child? I didn't see a MCHN with my second.

Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I was but I wasn't. I was more aware of things that could go wrong, and when things were different to my first pregnancy I freaked out, but I was a lot less worried about the listeria risks and stuff like that.


#3 MacFeral

Posted 16 December 2012 - 05:52 PM

QUOTE
1. We set up a nursery for DS with the intention he'd be in a cot in our room for the first 6-12 months and then would transition to his own room. Well DS wasn't having a bar of his own room or cot so setting up a nursery was kind of a waste of time, however I put all his clothes in there. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?
No

QUOTE
2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?
Yes, I found it very hard. The newborn was relatively easy by comparison to the toddler. It was hard to manage the needs of both of them at the same time (27 month age gap between my two).

QUOTE
3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first).
N/A

QUOTE
4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?
Lots of things, you are more experienced so naturally it is a bit easier. You tend not to worry as much and you work out routines much easier.

QUOTE
5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?
Easier.

QUOTE
6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?
NO

QUOTE
7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?
They do but I had such a great support group with my first mothers group and we all had our second around the same time we stuck with the people we knew. If you can and would like to I would.

QUOTE
8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.
I'm not sure how far along you are but I didn't notice a difference

QUOTE
9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?
Badly. He was very very jealous of DD. It was around 6 weeks after her birth that he settled down and realised she wasn't going anywhere and was fine after that. Once she started walking and talking they became best buds.

RELAX, things will be hard initially but they do get easier.

#4 jemsoli

Posted 17 December 2012 - 08:04 AM

i have a 23.5 month gap between #1 and #2

1. both my kids slept in their own room from day 1

2. honestly, i was dreading the "terrible twos" but honestly, 2 was a walk in the park compared to 3. DD1 has always been such an easy child, adapts easily, has always slept well, so it wasnt really that hard transitioning to 2 kids. DD1 was also the perfect baby (until she hit 4 months lol) so it was super easy for me in that first few months transition.

3. i was only working casually 8-16 hours a week from 12-34 weeks pregnant.

4. i didnt really do much differently, i was a LOT more confident second time around. with DD1 i was SO unmaternal and i was completely clueless. one main thing i did differently was i made sure i rarely let DD2 sleep in the swing as i had issues with DD1 getting addicted to it and i had to retrain her to sleep in the cot.

5. i honestly dont know how i went so long feeding DD1 (i fed her until i was 16 weeks pregnant) but it was horrible. i had massive oversupply, DD1 was using nipple shields until 6 months, at least once a month i was getting horrible cracked nipples etc. DD2 was a walk in the park. never had the same oversupply issues, and it has just been so easy. i am still feeding her now, and plan on starting to wean her when i find out all is ok at NT scan. tandem feeding is not for me lol. i also found that after DD1s loooooong feeds that took her 40+ mins even at 6 months, DD2 fed so much more efficiently and was done within 20-30 mins from the start.

6. my kids are completely different lol. they look so scarily similar, but their personalities are polar opposites. DD1 is so easygoing and friendly, where DD2 is challenging but a major charmer with oodles of energy.

7. i went to the local group with DD1 but ended up leaving the group when DD1 was around 7 months cos of the constant nastiness. i have one friend who i met through antenatal classes but thats it. i could have gone to a group with DD2 as we had moved into a new area that year but i couldnt take DD1 and there was no one that could watch her on the day they had the group so i missed out. i think it depends on the area but i think generally they discourage second time mums from joining groups.

8. i wasnt more relaxed, but that was mainly because it was a horrible pregnancy. the nausea was 10 times worse with DD2 then i had horrible SPD. i was also sooooo much bigger so i found it really hard to just get around in general, plus it was hard being hugely pregnant with a toddler who needed picking up etc.

9. i was sooooo lucky here, and i think it was purely cos of DD1s personality but she was completely disinterested in her sister. she didnt even kiss her until she was 4 weeks old! she went through some nasty stages of being mean to her sister when DD2 hit crawling and walking milestones - i think she felt threatened by DD2s newfound mobility. all is good for now though lol.

Edited by jemso, 17 December 2012 - 08:20 AM.


#5 Lokum

Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:29 AM

1. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?
No. Not enough room. DS2 is in our room. Our one change table and all their clothes are in DS1's room. I change DS2 on the couch overnight so as not to disturb DS1. We are looking for a bigger house for when DS2 needs to move out of our room, but we have 12 months.


2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?
DS2 is 4 weeks old, but DS1 has been a star. He does want to be babied a bit, but also wants to be the big brother.

3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)
Gradually scaled back from 20 weeks. Bad MS and very tired.

4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?
Don't have time to jump at at the first murmur and might be occupied with the big brother, so I wait until he's definitely awake before I get up to him. Hopefully he wont be the catnapper his brother was.

5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?
Easier. A lot.

6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?
Too early to say.

7. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?
Generally not, but sometimes they will if you ask, eg you're new to the area, don't have a first Mothers Group you're still connected with etc.

8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? You're so busy with the first child that you don't have time to focus on the PG every waking minute. Every single little detail is not SUCH a big deal the 2nd time. Still important and lovely though.

9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?
Adores him. So far.

The newborn experience has been heaps easier 2nd time. We're not stressing over small details, and it's more relaxing. (And we had a really easy run first time!) However, I did have nanna naps during the day first time, and I'm really missing those this time!!

#6 Julie3Girls

Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:55 AM

1. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?
Yes.  We had a nursery set up for DD1.  She spent the first 6 months in the bassinette in our room, but all her things were in the nursery - clothes, keepsakes, etc. Then we moved her to the cot in her room. When she was 2, we moved her to a new room .. "Her Big girl room"  Bought her a new bed, pretty quilt, curtains etc. This left the nursery empty for 6 months until DD2 arrived.
DD2 was again in our room for 5-6 months, but the nursery was still her room.

2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?
Hardest thing was DD1 wanted to smother the baby with love original.gif  I ended up setting up the porta cot, with a bassinette layer, so she could lay there, with room to move, but be out of reach of DD1 laughing2.gif  But generally speaking it was pretty easy. Helpd that DD2 slept all the time.

3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)
Went on maternity leave at 36 weeks with all 3 of my children.

4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?
Not really. I was a LOT more relaxed the second time around.

5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?
Just as easy. Can't say easier, because I never had any problems breastfeeding any of my girls.

6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?
In some ways, other ways they are very different.

7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?
I didn't really get this with any of my kids.  But I did join a playgroup when DD2 was 4 months old, and it was great.  Lots of kids at different ages, and it was just a lovely group. Went there for 7 years.

8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.
I think it is easier to put the pregnancy out of your mind a bit more, having a little one at home already to deal with. I found second time around, there were some things I was more relaxed about with the pregnancy, but I also stressed a lot more about the birth, as my first had been a scheduled c-section.

9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?
Adored her. The only issue we did get was when DD2 was about 3 months old, and DD1 started to play up - tantrums etc. Could have just been the age. Worked out that it was a bit of boredom - so I started going to things more focused on her, (storytime, playgroup) and the problem went away.


#7 IsolaBella

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:02 PM

Ds1 was 22.5 m when DS2 arrived.

DS1 has a new bedroom and DS2 got the nursery.

I found 1-2 the hardest. I ended up with PND. 2-3 was fine for me. bF each child has been a different experience.

DS1 basically ignored DS2 until about 6-8 m when DS2 became more interesting.

The 2yo was harder then the baby.



#8 deejie

Posted 17 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

We have 2.5 years between DS1 & DS2.

1. DS2 did have his own room set up, but I don't think he took a day nap in there until he was 3-4 months old. We coslept with him in our bed from his first night waking until he was ~6 months old and then started the transition to sleeping in his cot because he was/is an appalling sleeper. Currently (age 12 months) he is in his cot until ~4am when he comes in to bed with us.

2. The biggest challenges for me were in the early days when breastfeeding took a LONG time and trying to find ways to keep DS1 entertained. I had ready made snack boxes in the fridge, boxes of toys that I would rotate and a pile of cheap sticker books for him to do next to me while I fed DS2. Of course I would be lying if I said I never resorted to TV, particularly in the evenings during classical newborn feral time. I also do dinner/bath/bed by myself on weeknights and that was tough. Around the age of 3 months when DS2 was a super speedy feeder and the worst of the new baby evening feral time was behidn us, things got easier.

3. I went on maternity leave at 34 weeks when pregnant with DS2. I was working 3 days per week. When pregnant with DS1, I worked full time until 37.5 weeks. Second time around though, because there is no "rest" time, I think I timed my leave right. I was exhausted (work in a hospital, on my feet all day).

4. There was nothing I did terribly "differently" second time around. I think I worried less and trusted my instincts more. I also had a better understanding that it gets easier and repeated the mantra "this too shall pass" often! original.gif

5. I found breastfeeding second time around MUCH easier than first. With DS1 I struggled for 3 months. Serious struggles-- bleeding/shredded nipples. Recurrent mastitis on left side resulting in a terrible supply. Latch issues. It helps when one half of the breastfeeding relationship knows what they are doing!

6. They are chalk and cheese. DS1, cried at the drop of a hat. Serial drama queen. Clingly. Late to move. Great eater. Shy. Cautious. Gentle. DS2-- the absolute opposite!

7. In our council you only are put in touch with a mother's group if it is your first baby. Because I was new to the area and didn't know any other Mums with children my own age, the MCHNs were happy to let me join a "New Mother's" group, even though I technically wasn't a first time Mum. There is one other second time Mum in our group too. I am sure if you spoke to your MCHN they would be happy to oblige. Part of their job is to help ensure your mental health and I think having a support group is vital to this.

8. I was never much of a worrier during my first pregnancy, but I barely gave my second pregnancy a thought. I was so busy working/studying/chasing after DS1. Sometimes I would get to the end of the day and think "oh my goodness, I haven't felt my baby move!" Of course he was happy as larry in there, kicking away, I was just running around too busy to notice original.gif

9. I must admit DS1 was very good with DS2. We have had some issues since DS2 is on the move and in to/destroying all his stuff, but there has been very little jealousy. Some things I did: always spoke about "our baby" and how "we" (me, Daddy, DS1) have to look after him because he is little. I spoke about what babies do-- they cry a lot because they can't talk. He won't be able to walk or play with you until he is bigger. He can't eat big boy foods like weetbix and banana and cake, he will drink milk from Mummy. I made a point of making the baby wait his turn too and when he was awake, still dedicating a lot of time and attention to DS1 (this was easier when he was smaller and not so mobile!)

You will get in to the swing of things quick enough. The first few months were hard and are somewhat of a blur, but life with the two is pretty cruisy now. It would be better if DS2 learnt how to sleep  at night though wink.gif

#9 MrsW87

Posted 17 December 2012 - 01:03 PM

We have a 19 month gap here and I can relate to alot of how you are feeling.

QUOTE
1. We set up a nursery for DS with the intention he'd be in a cot in our room for the first 6-12 months and then would transition to his own room. Well DS wasn't having a bar of his own room or cot so setting up a nursery was kind of a waste of time, however I put all his clothes in there. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?


We did. I am not a good co sleeper and dont even having them in the room with me as they are sooooo loud so even though DS1 was in our room for a while, I still wanted to persist with DS2 being in his own room and it worked. I mean there were times when he would just come in with me but for the most part, he is in his own room


QUOTE
2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?


My biggest challenge was DS1 waking DS2 up because he didn't really understand the concept of quiet. Also if they were both crying and needing me at the same time, I found that hard. Also tag teaming sleeps, which thankfully, has gotten less frequent.

QUOTE
3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)


I didn't go back to work so cant answer this one.

QUOTE
4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?


I didn't run to every sound he made. I also waited to start solids until 6 months and decided that I would do what I felt was right, and not what everyone else said should happen. I trusted my instincts alot more with DS2 and felt way more confident.

QUOTE
5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?


I only breastfed DS1 for 6 weeks but am proudly still breastfeeding my second at 11 months. That's one thing that has been a little trying. Having to sit in the room feeding DS2 for hours on end and trying to entertain DS1 during that time. That has been another big challenge for me.

QUOTE
6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?


NO!!!!! LOL DS1 was such a cruisy baby and was happy to sit on the flood and entertain himself all day he only really liked being held to be fed or go to sleep. DS2 is the polar opposite. Needs constant stimulation and attention and wants to be held all the time!

QUOTE
7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?


No one did for me?

QUOTE
8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.


Definitely more relaxed. I found the pregnancy went alot quicker as well.

QUOTE
9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?


Fine. There was never any jealousy until 2 weeks ago when DS2 started taking things from DS1 LOL



#10 whale-woman

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:12 PM

1) Yep DD2 is getting her cot set up in the spare room. She'll eventually move to the bedroom next to DD1 but for the first while we'll put the newborn in another part of the house so stop waking DD1.we will also have a bassinet in our room. Bub will sleep where ever is convenient.

2) We'll have a 3 year gap. DD2 is due in 6 weeks so we'll see how it goes.

3) I'm working till 37 weeks. It's a sit down talking/thinking job. I worked till 37 weeks last time too.

4) No plans to do things differently save feed solids when bub is wanting them, not try to hold off till 6 months and control cry if needed early rather than being anxious about it. Oh and move bub out of our room early.

5) We'll see. BF # 1 but am ambivalent about whether I'll be so enthusiastic about it next time.

6) This bub is much less kicky that her sister, I'm hoping that will indicate a mellower little girl.

7) Dunno

8) Yep, much. But it's also been a much easier pg. I'm usig the same ob, so know exactly what to expect. I'm also an elective c/s person so have no birth anxieties to worry about.

9) DD1 is preoccupied with babies. She's keen to meet her sister. She's also talking of being a baby too so I'm aware she might regress when she sees all the attention the bub is getting.

#11 pinkcupcakes

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:26 PM

1. yes, both kids sleep in both rooms, have from the start, thank goodness!

2. not at all but i think its because a) i had expected the worst, so things weren't as bad as i had thought, b) he's the easiest baby ever!( sorry to sound boastful. he just is!)biggest challenge: trying to maintain dd's bedtime routine while incorporating ds's, and still having both in bed at a godly hour.

3.SAHM after first.
4.take it as it comes.things come more naturally coz you already know what you're doing, and cz you're more relaxed, bub seems to be more relaxed. ( was for us, anyway).

different kids, different approaches.

5.BF with first. second just as easy but did have to get used to doing it again.

6.not really. dd demanding extroverted princess/ drama queen, and ds cruisy happy  more introverted.

7.no idea, just have small group of friends, family and eb.

8.i felt like you in early second pg as well. 9 also under lots of stress too). dont worry, once you hear/see/feel bub, i'm sure it will all be more real and you can bond better.

9.loves and dotes on him. but we really made sure that from day 1 dd was really involved in what was going on, which i think helped immensely. biggrin.gif

congrats, sunnycat.i hope you can relax and enjoy it soon, ppl kept telling me the same with ds. just look after you as much as you can. wink.gif

#12 michie0moo

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:28 PM

22 month gap

1. We set up a nursery for DS with the intention he'd be in a cot in our room for the first 6-12 months and then would transition to his own room. Well DS wasn't having a bar of his own room or cot so setting up a nursery was kind of a waste of time, however I put all his clothes in there. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?
Yes, but the baby was in with us for the first 3 months. We transitioned DD1 to a bed about 2 months before DD2 was born too. This enabled me to lie with her to get her to sleep when reaching into the cot got too hard. DD1 also started sleeping through around a month before DD2 was born.

2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?
The hard part is the adjustment period for the older child. It is very hard for them to suddenly have their needs put second sometimes. It is tough at first but gets easier.

3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)
N/A

4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?
Nope.

5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?
Easier. I had a minor attachment problem but I recognised it right away so went and got help for it.

6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?
No. DD2 is more chilled and so far, sleeps much better.

7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?
Don't know as I had my previous MG. Couldn't hurt to ask though.

8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.
I didn't pay as much attention to every little thing. I had more pain in my second though.

9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?

In the main, pretty good. She does sometimes say "give the baby to ..." "don't feed her now Mummy" but she adores her too.

#13 jo-v

Posted 17 December 2012 - 05:35 PM


1. We set up a nursery for DS with the intention he'd be in a cot in our room for the first 6-12 months and then would transition to his own room. Well DS wasn't having a bar of his own room or cot so setting up a nursery was kind of a waste of time, however I put all his clothes in there. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?

DS slept in the nursery and we moved him to his "big boy room" about 6 months before DD was due (coincided with his birthday, we decorated the room specially). No drama with DD going into his old room.



2. We will have an approx 21 month gap between the two and im worried about how demanding it will bel right now ds is pretty easy going, however he has become more vocal in his protests. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?

Our gap is 2.5 years, DS was not a fan of DD at first, didn't want to hold or cuddle her and it was tough to get a pic of them together! I used to worry they'd hate each other but once she passed the boring baby stage things were fine, they are great together now (2 and 4.5). Don't push a relationship just let it happen naturally.

3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)

N/a

4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?

Nothing major, was prob a bit more relaxed.

5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?

Both fairly hard but DD had a mild lactose intolerance so was moved onto goat milk formula at 4 months.

6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?

DD is much better at amusing herself, DS wants my attention all the time (same with me and my younger brother so might be an older child thing).

DD is more prone to tantrums but they're both great kids who have good days and bad days.

7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?

No, I joined a mums group with DS but never bothered with DD as friends have kids a similar age. Will prob join a Playgroup when DS starts full time school next year so she can meet some more little friends her own age.

8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.

I was more worried about something going wrong and it was hard work looking after DS while pg.

9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?

As above not impressed at first but they're great little friends now. We brought presents from them to each other to exchange at the hospital and I made sure I wasn't holding DD when DS came in, little things like that.

Sorry this is so long! I had heaps more questions but can't remember them at the moment! TIA original.gif
[/quote]


#14 AryaStar

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:27 PM

....

Edited by AryaStar, 04 February 2013 - 06:00 PM.


#15 Wahwah

Posted 17 December 2012 - 06:39 PM

I won't go through all the questions because you will probably be inundated with responses.

From my perspective, it was actually easier than I thought (mine are 23 months apart). My first is easy going and could be distracted with a game or a toy (in particular Thomas the tank engine, tracks, millions of trains) or even TV when I needed to focus only on the baby.  He loved the baby and didn't compete for attention at all. I think I was lucky because he's quite placid and had good concentration at that age, so was able to amuse himself well enough when needed.

My second was easy too, but different. Much more alert and less likely to sleep during the day. It took me a while to get used to the fact that she had different sleep needs to what I had experienced with no.1. When I finally realised this, it made it easier - before that I was getting frustrated because I couldn't understand why getting her to take naps was so hard.

I think their different temperaments were evident quite early on. I had to adapt but it wasn't hard.

Breast feeding was 100 times easier the second time around.

Best wishes, hopefully its good for you too!

#16 Roobear

Posted 17 December 2012 - 09:05 PM

I have an 18 month age gap and it is great!

I did have my mum come around and help 2-3 days a week in the first few weeks which I think I would've struggled without (DP only took 2 days off and works long hours).

I tandem feed and breastfeeding was super easy just adding a newborn to the mix. Milk came in on day 2, had no sore/cracked nipples and no engorgement. We co sleep with DS and DD has her own room. She adores him and there has never been any jealousy issues (Obviously this will change  wink.gif )

Things I couldn't live without were a good double pram, we went with the MB duet. My hug a bub to stick DS in when he wouldn't sleep and I needed to do stuff with DD.

Good luck original.gif

#17 niggles

Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:04 PM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 16/12/2012, 03:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
1. Did you set up a second room as a nursery for your next child?

Yes. We moved the study to a corner of the dining room and set up his own room. Our bedrooms are too small to fit a cot in with us.

2. Did you find the transition from 1-2 difficult? What were the biggest challenges?

Not especially but our gap is much bigger (3.5 years) and so DD is fairly independent. Life has certainly got busier and I find I have very little time and even less energy for myself.

3. When did you go on maternity leave for your second? (if you returned to work after the first)

3 weeks before he was due. It was a bit rushed but I love my job and didn't want to leave it any earlier.

4. Is there anything you did differently second time around?

I was responsive to DS and his own rythyms from birth instead of assuming as I did before that responding to DD in the same way consistently would mean she fell into my rythym (she didn't).

5. If you breast fed the first, was breastfeeding the second as easy/difficult?

I breastfed the first til 2 years and weaned her gradually and easily. Breastfeeding starting off very well this time. My milk came in after 24 hours! This was wonderful as DS never got to the hungry demanding and underfed stage whilst waiting. However, breastfeeding has been infinitely more difficult this time to the point where I don't like doing it at all (I think I have D-MER). He's one and I'd like to start weaning gradually as I did with DD but he is resistant.

6. Are your children similar in temperament at all?

Hard to say. He seems similarly strong willed but his manner is very different. He's more light hearted perhaps.

7. With DS the MCHN gave me a number for other people who had had babies of the same age in my area, I never went and kind of regret not going now as I don't have many friends and the PG that I joined is too far away. I think I need regular catch ups with people for my own sanity. Do they give you contact details of other people who have babies the same age wi the second child?

Not as a matter of course but they should if you ask. We had a second time mum in my first time mums group.

8. Were more relaxed with your second pregnancy? I am finding it really hard to connect to is pregnancy and sometimes have days where I completely forget I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if it is because it's a second pregnancy thing or because we have soooooo much other stress going on at the moment.

I've never connected with pregnancy. I bond with my babies after they are born largely. With DD that took some weeks. With DS it felt instantaneous when I held him for the first time - perhaps because the only adjustment I had to make was to be his mother, rather than to be a mother.

9. How did your older child react to their new sibling?

She thinks he is sweet but until recently she is not really interested in him. He has very little impact on her life. She's readily accepted him as part of our family but I think she is yet to really embrace him.


This isn't in response to any question you've asked but just something I thought I'd share. The best thing I did to prepare for our second baby was to sit down with DH every night in the months before he was born and work through a relationship counselling style book. We're fiercely loyal to one another but really weren't seeing eye to eye and both knew things would have to change if we were going to survive another baby. We are so much closer than we were before and have been able to really enjoy raising this baby together. It was the kick up the butt we needed knowing things were about to get a whole lot more challenging.

#18 premmie_29weeks

Posted 18 December 2012 - 08:40 AM

We have just under 18 months between our two boys...if you read back about a year ago there is a similar thread from me original.gif it was a quicker than expected pregnancy the second time and I was wondering how on earth I would cope...here we are a year later and things are just wonderful. Ds2 is nine months old now.
It's been much much easier than I thought.

We set up a new room for ds2 in our little sunroom. He slept with us for about 5 weeks in a bassinet from the hospital. Then I moved him to a cot in his own room. I found all the wriggling and grunting kept me awake all night. Ds1 also moved to his own room at about 7 weeks too for the same reason. I their own room I only heard what I needed to respond too...I'm not into the idea of co sleeping and I was lucky in that my kids weren't either.

They are totally different kids in terms of temperament. Second one is very chilled and laid back happy little kid. First one is a bit more challenging in that he is just go go go constantly...but he's 2 and I suppose that's to be expected. My little one slept really well from the get go, whereas his brother had reflux so our first few weeks as new parents the first time was really horrible....

I think the second time I was more mentally prepared for what was going to happen, I had been thru the sleep deprivation before and knew there is an end in sight with a bit of persistence and some patience. We did a stint of cc with both kids at about 7 months...Experience and confidence counts for so much...I was really anxious and all over the place the first time, much calmer the second. That also extend to postnatal stuff like the bleeding, first periods, baby blues and everything. You have no idea how much knowledge you've picked up till you have another one original.gif. Silly stuff like nappy changing, sterilising, what to pack in a nappy bag, etc etc all had us stumped the first time, not even a consideration the second time. I didn't wonder or wory as much and I just did what I thought and if it worked great. I didn't seek as much advice either unless I had a specific question. I also knew more or less how to space feeds and number of sleeps at each age...so we fell into a bit of pattern quite early.  


I'm pretty relaxed anyway in pregnancy, apart from pretty mild normal symptoms I'm lucky to have easy stress free pregnancies. Though my second birth was less than an hour beginning to end, so very different. I didn't intend on drug free and I go it...though in hindsight I'm glad it happened the way it did for no other reason than my recovery was much easier...and that really started me it well.

I didn't breast feed either of them much past the first week...both have thrived on bottles. I also didn't go back to work so I guess those questions aren't relevant to my experience.

My biggest challenge initially was finding time for ds1 because my baby took a long time to feed. I found the balance really hard...and it was harder because ds1 was really young and not particularly verbal yet. But he loved him from the get go and I've been really lucky because of the small age GAO there's no jealously though for a while my catch call was gentle gentle gentle...he was never violent just overly excited and affectionate original.gif

You'll be fine, it's hard work I was terrified went I got pregnant the second time...but it's been a fantastic year, it really goes by so fast, I never realised that with ds1 and its taught me to appreciate each stage for what it is, because I still don't know if this is my last child...

Edited by premmie_29weeks, 18 December 2012 - 08:46 AM.





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