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How to deal with family
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20 replies to this topic

#1 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 07:38 PM

Changed my mind.

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:03 AM.

#2 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 07:58 PM

No one has any thoughts to add?

No one has any thoughts to add?

#3 Ice Queen

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:09 PM

I think you do have to take some responsibility......noone held a gun to your head to take their apartments on nor did anyone hold a gun to your head to agree to 10%.

BUT having said that if you are not happy, you should most definitely cut ties on a business level.  I think your date of 30 June is a good idea, plenty of time for them to find new managers.  When giving reasons you need to keep everything professional and simple.  Saying things like 'you crashed my business from day 1' just sounds petty and sour grapes.  Nothing wrong with crashing businesses if everyone makes money and it works out!

Congratulations on building up such a great successful business. biggrin.gif

#4 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:14 PM

[ (

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:04 AM.

#5 Mpjp is feral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:15 PM

Am not sure what thioughts you are looking for if you've already resolved by deciding to no longer manage their apartments after June?

I think its just a lesson that family and business dont mix!

#6 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:17 PM


Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:05 AM.

#7 ~iMum~

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:18 PM

It sounds like you know what you're doing and have real passion for it. It also sounds like they saw you as a way to increase their wealth, but they don't have the same passion and resources you do and that they have sour grapes over your success. If you want/need to stay in their lives, I'd stop doing business with them. Yes, it will make the relationship strained in the short term, but it will/should blow over eventually. The alternative is to stay in business with them and continue to have this stress.

#8 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Yeah I'd telling them that it isn't working for you either so it's best they get new management.

They'll probably be p*ssed off, but they are now, so what's the difference? Other than you won't have the pain of dealing with the property.

#9 jennywin

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Dont do busines with family and friends? Advice that I have recieved and stuck to happily!

#10 Mpjp is feral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:23 PM

QUOTE (threelittlegems @ 14/12/2012, 09:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess it is just the boring:

- do you think I'm right

- have I missed something

- would you be happy with  $900 per week for an apartment which cost $600k (with furniture)

I'd be estatically happy with that return - especially on ST accomodation - as pp said it sounds like you've built a great business there.

But...given how it seemed you felt annoyed from the word go I probably would never have gone there in the first place - but I realise this is easier said than done with insistent, persistent family members.

#11 Ice Queen

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:25 PM

QUOTE (threelittlegems @ 14/12/2012, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your input:-)

I guess if it were one of our other investors (not family ) it wouldn't hurt so much.

But when it is family, and they are getting a discount which they would have gotten for life, and the only reason it isn't an amazing return is the decisions they have made. But is still a very good return, and they complain to the family about it, it's a bit hard not to be bitter.

Okay now I understand a bit better what you are asking.  Yes, you do have a right to be upset/hurt of course.  Some people are just not as smart at business and dont want to face reality and do the sums to realise things are their own fault, much easier to blame an easy target...in this case you.  They probably dont have any concept of where they went wrong and dont realise that you dont make millions instantly when you go into a business.

As I said, definitely make a clean break as quietly and trouble free as possible.  As for the moaning to the family well you probably need to be prepared for it to get worst to start with.  It will get better and chances are your family know how well you are doing so just listen and nod at them.

Try and move past it OP and dont take it personally, the problem is with them not you.

Edited by Ehill, 14 December 2012 - 08:27 PM.

#12 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:31 PM

QUOTE (meplainjanebrain @ 14/12/2012, 09:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd be estatically happy with that return - especially on ST accomodation - as pp said it sounds like you've built a great business there.

But...given how it seemed you felt annoyed from the word go I probably would never have gone there in the first place - but I realise this is easier said than done with insistent, persistent family members.

I wasn't annoyed from the word go, other than they purchased in buildings I told them not not, and purchased furniture I told them not to  biggrin.gif

We have other family members, and outside investors, which are ecstatic with their return. I would never have gotten to this point with my brother and SIL, if I hadn't of listened to constant whining for four years second hand.

#13 adl

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:37 PM

I agree to cut ties in the business sense,

if they ark up, say something like well really after considering  your email, comments made, we realised you obviously weren't happy with the arrangement but didn't want or know how to move on so for the sake of family we believe its better for everyone not to work together in this capacity ....

And make that clear to the others as well, you have put family relationships first  biggrin.gif

#14 Born Slippy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:40 PM

I am concerned with the level of detail in your post and ability to be easily identified...

As for the questions, I agree with adl. Cut ties and give a straightforward "family before business" explanation.

#15 KT1978

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:44 PM

Congratulations on your success! It sounds like you have done a fantastic job of building a successful business.

Cut ties with the family business and don't look back. They probably thought that you would do everything for "free". They will be worse off.

#16 QueenElsa

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:52 PM

You have done the right thing. Neither party is happy and it's time to cut business ties. Are your brother  & SIL the kind of people that whinge about everything? I suspect they'll whinge about those apartments for years but because you are not running it, it won't hurt like it does now.

It sounds like you just wanted to be acknowledged for your hard work and success but it isn't going to happen from them...

Congratulations BTW, you've done a great job.

#17 MammaBee81

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:12 PM

Yes, some people just don't know how to play nice. But that's tough when you have to (and want to!) have a relationship with them outside of the business.

I would take a more diplomatic approach and let them know that despite the success that the two parties have realised by holding a joint interest in the past, you have decided that things have changed a little (which happens in business). A) it seems as if your siblings are not realising their full potential in an investment sense (even if they are!!), and B) this problem is putting too much of a strain on your relationship.

As you value them as family, you think it would be in their best interests to invest elsewhere, so that they can truly realise their financial potential, and so that you are not burdened with the issues that arise from the business relationship.

It's a good thing you are venting anonymously - I would keep other family members away from the details and drama as much as possible, (even if your siblings dont afford you the same courtesy).

Good luck!

#18 Jellyblush

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:21 PM

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I see two separate questions in your post - are they getting a good deal (are you giving them a good deal!) and should you continue.

I also run a short term let business - not on your scale, I have one property only. YES there are getting a good deal and good service.  NO you shouldn't continue - if they don't appreciate it, they'll never appreciate it. The only way they will, is if they have to do what you currently do for a while. So, let them manage it themselves for a while. It's the only way they will see the value of what you do. Maybe later you can go back to this arrangements, with a new appreciation from them?

Also, as it is family, try to remember it's hard for them to envisiage what the real costs are if they have never expeirenced them. I know my friends think I am in clover. They don't see the hours washing, cleaning, sorting keys etc. Rather than be upset, try to educate them?

All the best.

Just my thoughts.

#19 LambChop

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:26 PM

I think enough is enough, just go with ... clearly you are unhappy with how I manage things, and I'm unhappy with the constant complaining when I do more for you than any other investor for a cheaper price.  I think that is is time for us to part ways before this turns in to a real blow up.

#20 Girlo

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:27 PM

I'd love to write something insightful and helpful; BUT..... It is 10:30 on a Friday night and I have drunk 2/3 of a bottle of wine  roll2.gif

Perhaps re-post in the morning for more thoughtful responses???  biggrin.gif

#21 jessie123

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:34 PM

You need to just cut all business ties with them.

I remember you wrote about them and this issue a while ago - what happened ?

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