Jump to content

How to deal with family
Money topics

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
20 replies to this topic

#1 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 07:38 PM

Changed my mind.

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:03 AM.

#2 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 07:58 PM

No one has any thoughts to add?

No one has any thoughts to add?

#3 Ice Queen

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:09 PM

I think you do have to take some responsibility......noone held a gun to your head to take their apartments on nor did anyone hold a gun to your head to agree to 10%.

BUT having said that if you are not happy, you should most definitely cut ties on a business level.  I think your date of 30 June is a good idea, plenty of time for them to find new managers.  When giving reasons you need to keep everything professional and simple.  Saying things like 'you crashed my business from day 1' just sounds petty and sour grapes.  Nothing wrong with crashing businesses if everyone makes money and it works out!

Congratulations on building up such a great successful business. biggrin.gif

#4 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:14 PM

[ (

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:04 AM.

#5 Mpjp is feral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:15 PM

Am not sure what thioughts you are looking for if you've already resolved by deciding to no longer manage their apartments after June?

I think its just a lesson that family and business dont mix!

#6 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:17 PM


Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:05 AM.

#7 ~iMum~

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:18 PM

It sounds like you know what you're doing and have real passion for it. It also sounds like they saw you as a way to increase their wealth, but they don't have the same passion and resources you do and that they have sour grapes over your success. If you want/need to stay in their lives, I'd stop doing business with them. Yes, it will make the relationship strained in the short term, but it will/should blow over eventually. The alternative is to stay in business with them and continue to have this stress.

#8 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Yeah I'd telling them that it isn't working for you either so it's best they get new management.

They'll probably be p*ssed off, but they are now, so what's the difference? Other than you won't have the pain of dealing with the property.

#9 jennywin

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Dont do busines with family and friends? Advice that I have recieved and stuck to happily!

#10 Mpjp is feral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:23 PM

QUOTE (threelittlegems @ 14/12/2012, 09:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess it is just the boring:

- do you think I'm right

- have I missed something

- would you be happy with  $900 per week for an apartment which cost $600k (with furniture)

I'd be estatically happy with that return - especially on ST accomodation - as pp said it sounds like you've built a great business there.

But...given how it seemed you felt annoyed from the word go I probably would never have gone there in the first place - but I realise this is easier said than done with insistent, persistent family members.

#11 Ice Queen

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:25 PM

QUOTE (threelittlegems @ 14/12/2012, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your input:-)

I guess if it were one of our other investors (not family ) it wouldn't hurt so much.

But when it is family, and they are getting a discount which they would have gotten for life, and the only reason it isn't an amazing return is the decisions they have made. But is still a very good return, and they complain to the family about it, it's a bit hard not to be bitter.

Okay now I understand a bit better what you are asking.  Yes, you do have a right to be upset/hurt of course.  Some people are just not as smart at business and dont want to face reality and do the sums to realise things are their own fault, much easier to blame an easy target...in this case you.  They probably dont have any concept of where they went wrong and dont realise that you dont make millions instantly when you go into a business.

As I said, definitely make a clean break as quietly and trouble free as possible.  As for the moaning to the family well you probably need to be prepared for it to get worst to start with.  It will get better and chances are your family know how well you are doing so just listen and nod at them.

Try and move past it OP and dont take it personally, the problem is with them not you.

Edited by Ehill, 14 December 2012 - 08:27 PM.

#12 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:31 PM

QUOTE (meplainjanebrain @ 14/12/2012, 09:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd be estatically happy with that return - especially on ST accomodation - as pp said it sounds like you've built a great business there.

But...given how it seemed you felt annoyed from the word go I probably would never have gone there in the first place - but I realise this is easier said than done with insistent, persistent family members.

I wasn't annoyed from the word go, other than they purchased in buildings I told them not not, and purchased furniture I told them not to  biggrin.gif

We have other family members, and outside investors, which are ecstatic with their return. I would never have gotten to this point with my brother and SIL, if I hadn't of listened to constant whining for four years second hand.

#13 adl

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:37 PM

I agree to cut ties in the business sense,

if they ark up, say something like well really after considering  your email, comments made, we realised you obviously weren't happy with the arrangement but didn't want or know how to move on so for the sake of family we believe its better for everyone not to work together in this capacity ....

And make that clear to the others as well, you have put family relationships first  biggrin.gif

#14 Born Slippy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:40 PM

I am concerned with the level of detail in your post and ability to be easily identified...

As for the questions, I agree with adl. Cut ties and give a straightforward "family before business" explanation.

#15 KT1978

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:44 PM

Congratulations on your success! It sounds like you have done a fantastic job of building a successful business.

Cut ties with the family business and don't look back. They probably thought that you would do everything for "free". They will be worse off.

#16 QueenElsa

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:52 PM

You have done the right thing. Neither party is happy and it's time to cut business ties. Are your brother  & SIL the kind of people that whinge about everything? I suspect they'll whinge about those apartments for years but because you are not running it, it won't hurt like it does now.

It sounds like you just wanted to be acknowledged for your hard work and success but it isn't going to happen from them...

Congratulations BTW, you've done a great job.

#17 MammaBee81

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:12 PM

Yes, some people just don't know how to play nice. But that's tough when you have to (and want to!) have a relationship with them outside of the business.

I would take a more diplomatic approach and let them know that despite the success that the two parties have realised by holding a joint interest in the past, you have decided that things have changed a little (which happens in business). A) it seems as if your siblings are not realising their full potential in an investment sense (even if they are!!), and B) this problem is putting too much of a strain on your relationship.

As you value them as family, you think it would be in their best interests to invest elsewhere, so that they can truly realise their financial potential, and so that you are not burdened with the issues that arise from the business relationship.

It's a good thing you are venting anonymously - I would keep other family members away from the details and drama as much as possible, (even if your siblings dont afford you the same courtesy).

Good luck!

#18 Jellyblush

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:21 PM

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I see two separate questions in your post - are they getting a good deal (are you giving them a good deal!) and should you continue.

I also run a short term let business - not on your scale, I have one property only. YES there are getting a good deal and good service.  NO you shouldn't continue - if they don't appreciate it, they'll never appreciate it. The only way they will, is if they have to do what you currently do for a while. So, let them manage it themselves for a while. It's the only way they will see the value of what you do. Maybe later you can go back to this arrangements, with a new appreciation from them?

Also, as it is family, try to remember it's hard for them to envisiage what the real costs are if they have never expeirenced them. I know my friends think I am in clover. They don't see the hours washing, cleaning, sorting keys etc. Rather than be upset, try to educate them?

All the best.

Just my thoughts.

#19 LambChop

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:26 PM

I think enough is enough, just go with ... clearly you are unhappy with how I manage things, and I'm unhappy with the constant complaining when I do more for you than any other investor for a cheaper price.  I think that is is time for us to part ways before this turns in to a real blow up.

#20 Girlo

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:27 PM

I'd love to write something insightful and helpful; BUT..... It is 10:30 on a Friday night and I have drunk 2/3 of a bottle of wine  roll2.gif

Perhaps re-post in the morning for more thoughtful responses???  biggrin.gif

#21 jessie123

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:34 PM

You need to just cut all business ties with them.

I remember you wrote about them and this issue a while ago - what happened ?

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


9 things I need to thank my parents for

You really don't realise everything your parents did for you until you find yourself doing them for your own children ... vomit catching and all.

The adventurous baby who's already putting safety first

When you're a baby, even getting off a bed and onto the floor can be a tricky procedure.

The story behind the love video that went viral

It is a quiet video, less than a half-minute long. It features no flourishes to speak of. It has no kittens doing kitten things. None of the things that often make a video go viral.

Anthony and Elle Watmough's joyous news as baby cleared of fatal condition

Rugby league star Anthony Watmough and his wife Elle have shared their joy at learning their unborn baby, who was thought to have Trisomy 18, was cleared of the fatal condition.

Win a family farmstay with Shaun the Sheep

To celebrate the Home Entertainment release of Shaun the Sheep Movie, Essential Kids and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are offering one winner and their family a holiday to a farm.

How I learnt to be a better friend

I may have lost that particular friend years ago, but I have gained so much from that experience.

What goes in the nappy bag?

It's far more than just a bag for nappies - it's the travel companion for your baby that should contain all the things you might need when away from home base.

The nature naming trend

The biggest joy of our daughter's name is that people really light up when they hear it (pun intended).

Win a Justine Clarke Pyjama Jam! prize pack

The Pyjama Jam! tour will see Justine Clarke returning to more intimate venues around Australia, creating the perfect comfy and cozy atmosphere for a PJ party.

Parents of baby born without part of his skull stand up to critics

When Brittany and Brandon Buell's son Jaxon was born missing much of his brain and skull, doctors said he only had days to live.

Baby plans are 'none of your business'

Emily Bingham had been asked about her baby making plans one too many times. 

Diet shakes to lose weight? Think again

Thinking of investing in meal replacement shakes to slim down ahead of summer?

Study offers support for cancer treatment during pregnancy

It is among the most delicate and difficult dilemmas in medicine: Should a pregnant woman who has received a cancer diagnosis begin treatment before her child is born?

Awards 2015: Vote now for a chance to win $2000

Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.

64 baby names based in nature

Looking for a baby name with a nod to nature, or one with an organic meaning? Check out our list to get inspired.

What coffee does to your body

That cup of Joe is just the boost your body needs.

Mum leaves triplets at hospital because she can't afford them

An illiterate and poverty stricken mother has abandoned her newborn triplets at hospital because she cannot afford to care for them.

I gave my daughter up for adoption - then tried to be her mum

The first time my oldest daughter called me 'Mum', she was 17.

Rainbow Babies lighting up the internet

A recent Facebook photo post is prompting widespread discussion of an emotional topic for many parents: rainbow babies.

The new wave of virgins giving birth

Dozens of young women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, it has been reported.

'It sort of became an addiction': parents buying, reselling Bonds Wondersuits

Your baby might be crawling around in hundreds of dollars worth of clothing.

Adjusting your child to daylight savings time

A one-hour difference to the day is pretty big deal when you're little.

Born too soon: life on the margins of existence

The frontiers of life are advancing ever further into uncharted territory.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



What are your favourite baby products?

The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.