Jump to content

How to deal with family
Money topics


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
20 replies to this topic

#1 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 07:38 PM


Changed my mind.

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:03 AM.


#2 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 07:58 PM

No one has any thoughts to add?


No one has any thoughts to add?


#3 Ice Queen

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:09 PM

I think you do have to take some responsibility......noone held a gun to your head to take their apartments on nor did anyone hold a gun to your head to agree to 10%.

BUT having said that if you are not happy, you should most definitely cut ties on a business level.  I think your date of 30 June is a good idea, plenty of time for them to find new managers.  When giving reasons you need to keep everything professional and simple.  Saying things like 'you crashed my business from day 1' just sounds petty and sour grapes.  Nothing wrong with crashing businesses if everyone makes money and it works out!

Congratulations on building up such a great successful business. biggrin.gif

#4 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:14 PM

[ (

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:04 AM.


#5 Mpjp is feral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:15 PM

Am not sure what thioughts you are looking for if you've already resolved by deciding to no longer manage their apartments after June?

I think its just a lesson that family and business dont mix!

#6 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:17 PM

.

Edited by threelittlegems, 15 December 2012 - 06:05 AM.


#7 ~iMum~

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:18 PM

It sounds like you know what you're doing and have real passion for it. It also sounds like they saw you as a way to increase their wealth, but they don't have the same passion and resources you do and that they have sour grapes over your success. If you want/need to stay in their lives, I'd stop doing business with them. Yes, it will make the relationship strained in the short term, but it will/should blow over eventually. The alternative is to stay in business with them and continue to have this stress.

#8 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Yeah I'd telling them that it isn't working for you either so it's best they get new management.

They'll probably be p*ssed off, but they are now, so what's the difference? Other than you won't have the pain of dealing with the property.

#9 jennywin

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

Dont do busines with family and friends? Advice that I have recieved and stuck to happily!

#10 Mpjp is feral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:23 PM

QUOTE (threelittlegems @ 14/12/2012, 09:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess it is just the boring:

- do you think I'm right

- have I missed something

- would you be happy with  $900 per week for an apartment which cost $600k (with furniture)



I'd be estatically happy with that return - especially on ST accomodation - as pp said it sounds like you've built a great business there.

But...given how it seemed you felt annoyed from the word go I probably would never have gone there in the first place - but I realise this is easier said than done with insistent, persistent family members.

#11 Ice Queen

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:25 PM

QUOTE (threelittlegems @ 14/12/2012, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your input:-)

I guess if it were one of our other investors (not family ) it wouldn't hurt so much.

But when it is family, and they are getting a discount which they would have gotten for life, and the only reason it isn't an amazing return is the decisions they have made. But is still a very good return, and they complain to the family about it, it's a bit hard not to be bitter.


Okay now I understand a bit better what you are asking.  Yes, you do have a right to be upset/hurt of course.  Some people are just not as smart at business and dont want to face reality and do the sums to realise things are their own fault, much easier to blame an easy target...in this case you.  They probably dont have any concept of where they went wrong and dont realise that you dont make millions instantly when you go into a business.

As I said, definitely make a clean break as quietly and trouble free as possible.  As for the moaning to the family well you probably need to be prepared for it to get worst to start with.  It will get better and chances are your family know how well you are doing so just listen and nod at them.

Try and move past it OP and dont take it personally, the problem is with them not you.

Edited by Ehill, 14 December 2012 - 08:27 PM.


#12 threelittlegems

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:31 PM

QUOTE (meplainjanebrain @ 14/12/2012, 09:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd be estatically happy with that return - especially on ST accomodation - as pp said it sounds like you've built a great business there.

But...given how it seemed you felt annoyed from the word go I probably would never have gone there in the first place - but I realise this is easier said than done with insistent, persistent family members.


I wasn't annoyed from the word go, other than they purchased in buildings I told them not not, and purchased furniture I told them not to  biggrin.gif

We have other family members, and outside investors, which are ecstatic with their return. I would never have gotten to this point with my brother and SIL, if I hadn't of listened to constant whining for four years second hand.

#13 adl

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:37 PM

I agree to cut ties in the business sense,

if they ark up, say something like well really after considering  your email, comments made, we realised you obviously weren't happy with the arrangement but didn't want or know how to move on so for the sake of family we believe its better for everyone not to work together in this capacity ....

And make that clear to the others as well, you have put family relationships first  biggrin.gif



#14 Born Slippy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:40 PM

I am concerned with the level of detail in your post and ability to be easily identified...

As for the questions, I agree with adl. Cut ties and give a straightforward "family before business" explanation.

#15 KT1978

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:44 PM

Congratulations on your success! It sounds like you have done a fantastic job of building a successful business.

Cut ties with the family business and don't look back. They probably thought that you would do everything for "free". They will be worse off.

#16 QueenElsa

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:52 PM

You have done the right thing. Neither party is happy and it's time to cut business ties. Are your brother  & SIL the kind of people that whinge about everything? I suspect they'll whinge about those apartments for years but because you are not running it, it won't hurt like it does now.

It sounds like you just wanted to be acknowledged for your hard work and success but it isn't going to happen from them...

Congratulations BTW, you've done a great job.

#17 MammaBee81

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:12 PM

Yes, some people just don't know how to play nice. But that's tough when you have to (and want to!) have a relationship with them outside of the business.

I would take a more diplomatic approach and let them know that despite the success that the two parties have realised by holding a joint interest in the past, you have decided that things have changed a little (which happens in business). A) it seems as if your siblings are not realising their full potential in an investment sense (even if they are!!), and B) this problem is putting too much of a strain on your relationship.

As you value them as family, you think it would be in their best interests to invest elsewhere, so that they can truly realise their financial potential, and so that you are not burdened with the issues that arise from the business relationship.

It's a good thing you are venting anonymously - I would keep other family members away from the details and drama as much as possible, (even if your siblings dont afford you the same courtesy).

Good luck!

#18 Jellyblush

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:21 PM

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I see two separate questions in your post - are they getting a good deal (are you giving them a good deal!) and should you continue.

I also run a short term let business - not on your scale, I have one property only. YES there are getting a good deal and good service.  NO you shouldn't continue - if they don't appreciate it, they'll never appreciate it. The only way they will, is if they have to do what you currently do for a while. So, let them manage it themselves for a while. It's the only way they will see the value of what you do. Maybe later you can go back to this arrangements, with a new appreciation from them?

Also, as it is family, try to remember it's hard for them to envisiage what the real costs are if they have never expeirenced them. I know my friends think I am in clover. They don't see the hours washing, cleaning, sorting keys etc. Rather than be upset, try to educate them?

All the best.

Just my thoughts.

#19 LambChop

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:26 PM

I think enough is enough, just go with ... clearly you are unhappy with how I manage things, and I'm unhappy with the constant complaining when I do more for you than any other investor for a cheaper price.  I think that is is time for us to part ways before this turns in to a real blow up.

#20 Girlo

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:27 PM

I'd love to write something insightful and helpful; BUT..... It is 10:30 on a Friday night and I have drunk 2/3 of a bottle of wine  roll2.gif

Perhaps re-post in the morning for more thoughtful responses???  biggrin.gif

#21 jessie123

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:34 PM

You need to just cut all business ties with them.

I remember you wrote about them and this issue a while ago - what happened ?




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.