Jump to content

Hilariously tactful report card comments
What's in your child's?


  • Please log in to reply
82 replies to this topic

#1 Leggy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:52 PM

"DN sometimes needs scaffolding and guidance to help her deal appropriately with disappointment."

I translate this as: Sometimes she needs to be reminded that tantrums are just not on for someone starting prep next year and told to go sit in the quiet corner with a cuddle toy till she's calmed down.

What hilariously tactful comments have appeared on your child's report card?

In completely the other direction, my old maths teacher reckoned that one of his classmates once got the comment, "Indolent, insolent, and consequently ignorant."

#2 2puzzled

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:03 PM

not my child's, but mine throughout school life:

"contributes well to class discussion"... translated as "she never, ever shuts up..."

#3 AnnoyingAnt

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:04 PM

Funny. This topic reminds me of the teacher comments in the beginning of Matilda by Roald Dahl. My favourite is "It is a curious truth that
Grasshoppers have their hearing organs in the sides of their abdomen. Your daughter, judging by what she's learnt this term has no hearing organs at all.

#4 overweightanon

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

needs extra encouragement to focus on the activity at hand - translation - he has the concentration span of a cactus tongue.gif

#5 WhatWouldBuffyDo?

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:23 PM

So glad the messages get through.

Wish I could write some onthe ones I used in reports this year - but that would obviously be unprofessional wink.gif

#6 whatnamenow

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:31 PM

Not on report card but on DD's graduation night.  Each child had to walk down the aisle to a speech given by their teacher about their acheivements during the year.   I spent the whole 40 min till DD's turn terrified about what was going to be said about DD.  They settled on she likes drama and wants to be a teacher.  ( i think all the teachers are laughing about that considering DD's behaviour towards them.) personally i think the drama they were referring too is the running away from school screaming at teachers kind.  Oh well bring on high school.

#7 If You Say So

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

My sister once had a comment about her ability to disrupt the ENTIRE class.

#8 Velvetta

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

Well, not exactly euphemistic but DS7's said "His need for perfection has lessoned (sic) ".

Because he used to start all over again from scratch whenever he made a tiny error. Never mind the spelling of "lessoned", even spell check isn't picking that up as I type, it's not a word!!

This same teacher once said to me at a PT meeting - after I had said my son was a bit different, a bit eccentric - "yes he's not really normal is he?"  faaarrrkkk!

#9 Melly23

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:59 PM

School Transition statement:

"He is learning to get closer to the person he is speaking to and modulate his voice in conversation and play" - Translation "He is learning NOT to shout across the room at people"

"...reminders to find the person with your legs and eyes first, then speak" - Translation "He is learning NOT to shout across the room at people"

"He has become aware of waiting his turn to speak but still needs occasional prompts to look first and wait until others are finished speaking" - Translation "He is learning NOT to interrupt others"

"He can be a little distracted at times by his friends and can benefit from sitting towards the front of groups" - Translation "GOOD LUCK SCHOOL TEACHER!!!!!!

Lucky he's cute  biggrin.gif

#10 CountryFeral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:14 PM

Not a report card comment but an 'award'.

Many years ago (and I'm hoping she is beyond her child rearing years now and won't be on EB to recognise herself - but if you do Mum really liked you honest!) the school my Mum taught at was giving out awards at the end of the year and wanted to give one to all of their year six leavers.

There was one little girl whom it was most difficult to find a positive to focus on - things like "a diligent worker" were out, sporting prowess was out, academic achievement was out, "helpful" was out, "thoughtful" likewise - all she ever did was gossip and scheme in a grand 11/12 year old machiavellian manner..

Her 'award'?  

To *child*

For her intense interest in other people.

#11 B.feral3

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:14 PM

My sons said:
"Luca consistently displays excellent listening skills."

That's my sons name but she couldn't possibly be talking about MY son.  unsure.gif huh.gif

#12 Shellby

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

I haven't had any on my kids, but I remember one from mine in high school which was 'She has a coasting attitude' which basically meant - She is a b**ch to me. To be honest, I didn't like him so it was true. Rest of my reports cards were great.



#13 Escapin

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:24 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 14/12/2012, 03:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not a report card comment but an 'award'.

Many years ago (and I'm hoping she is beyond her child rearing years now and won't be on EB to recognise herself - but if you do Mum really liked you honest!) the school my Mum taught at was giving out awards at the end of the year and wanted to give one to all of their year six leavers.

There was one little girl whom it was most difficult to find a positive to focus on - things like "a diligent worker" were out, sporting prowess was out, academic achievement was out, "helpful" was out, "thoughtful" likewise - all she ever did was gossip and scheme in a grand 11/12 year old machiavellian manner..

Her 'award'?  

To *child*

For her intense interest in other people.


hahaha, she's probably in politics or a CEO by now.


#14 CallMeFeral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:29 PM

DD: Enjoyed guiding and instructing her friends on what to do = BOSSY!

#15 CountryFeral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:29 PM

QUOTE (Bek+3 @ 14/12/2012, 03:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's my sons name but she couldn't possibly be talking about MY son.  unsure.gif huh.gif


Hah!

My friend was told "You have such a wonderful, thoughtful, daughter. So calm, so considerate of other people's feelings..."

My friend said "Yes I do.  But - ummm - it's not the one YOU teach surely?"


We all read this particular child's school reports with wonder in our hearts.. something magical must be in the air in that school, as the little girl on paper bears no resemblance to the feisty autocrat we all know and love!

#16 Leggy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE
So glad the messages get through.


This is pretty much what a teacher friend said when I mentioned some of the amusing things on DN's transition statement. Some of these things come as a complete surprise to many of her pupils' parents, apparently :S

#17 PigNewton

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:36 PM

Not a report card, but when DS was getting assessed, the assessor said "he's a very DEFINITE child, isn't he? He certainly knows his own mind"
Translation: DS only does what he wants to do, and is stubborn as anything.
Didn't worry me, it's true! DH was just the same in that way as a kid.

#18 kadoodle

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:46 PM

No comments on the reports here in Victoria, so I'm without the usual polite euphemism for "won't shut up" for DS1.


#19 feralisles

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

We had "shows a lot of interest in her environment" which I think translates to "stares out the window all day"!

#20 solongsuckers

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:56 PM

My children aren't in school but I remember on one of my year 8 reports one of my teachers commented that I was 'a pleasure to teach'. It was a metal work class that I was totally not interested in. I sat there for 3 hours every wednesday morning reading magazines and cutting out pictures lol

#21 Chief Pancake Make

Posted 14 December 2012 - 03:02 PM

I once failed a subject.  The teachers wrote "CPM's result reflects her ability in this subject"  couldnt get in trouble from parents for that - I just suckked at it ok.

#22 lishermide

Posted 14 December 2012 - 03:52 PM

About DS:

"D enjoyed and satisfactorily completed all home based tasks. Given sufficient time, he has managed to complete classroom tasks to a creditable standard. To assist in further development of his skills ongoing home discussions may benefit"

= he doesn't listen, and gets bugger all done at school. You try.

#23 snuffles

Posted 14 December 2012 - 04:03 PM

"...when he reads he sounds like a robot...."  she says it like it is, this teacher!  She also said lots of nice things though.

#24 Phoenix Blue

Posted 14 December 2012 - 04:03 PM

Lol. Love these.

DS2 transition report said "C has lots of good ideas, and is beginning to learn that others do too."

= his way is the only way!

#25 Leggy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 04:10 PM

QUOTE
"C has lots of good ideas, and is beginning to learn that others do too."

roll2.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Vote for a chance to win $5000

The first ever Essential Baby Awards, celebrating the best in baby products. We?re inviting you to have your say. Simply vote for your favourite products to win a $5000 VISA debit card.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Baby news for Isla and Sacha

Congratulations are in order for Aussie actress Isla Fisher and her husband, Sacha Baron Cohen.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Vote to win

What are your favourite baby products?

The first ever Essential Baby Awards, celebrating the best in baby products. We?re inviting you to have your say. Simply vote for your favourite products to win a $5000 VISA debit card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.