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Does anyone's partner do a bottle feed during the night or early morning?


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33 replies to this topic

#1 JessieW

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:36 PM

Hi girls,

My lovely DH wants to take one of the feeds for our baby (due in March) probably the 4-5am one. I'll need to express I guess!  Would love to hear about any other couples that do this, how you manage the practical side of expressing and bottle prep as well as how many nights a week it actually happens?!

Thanks in advance

Jess

#2 handsfull

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:39 PM

When we had our girls and I was solely expressing for them, DH would do the late night feed ie. 12 midnight one every night.  I did the 7-8pm one and then went to bed.  It allowed me to get sleep until the 4-5am feed.  He was a bit of a night owl so the late night suited him and then he slept until 6.30-7am solidly.

As I said I was solely expressing and he was also in charge of the bottles, freezing, unfreezing and cleaning/sterilising them all.

He did an awesome job.  GL and hope it works out well for you.

#3 José

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:24 AM

Are you planning on doing this from the beginning? A lactation consultant suggested to me that initially I express only if necessary to relieve discomfort. She said if I was expressing in the early days it could send my breasts into overdrive thinking I needed all this extra milk. Also depending on.what kind of a sleeper / feeder ur baby is. Its possible that if someone else does a feed for you there will be too long between feeds and ur breasts will become very uncomfortable. I also found that when my breasts were extremely full my LO had trouble attaching and seemed to have difficulty with the flip.
As I had a little trouble getting feeding properly established I was also concerned that introducing a bottle too early would interfere with that. I'm not sure if nipple confusion is real or not but I wasnt willing to take the chance.
Just some things to think about. Good luck!

#4 lucky 2

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:21 AM

QUOTE
I'm not sure if nipple confusion is real or not but I wasnt willing to take the chance.

It is real for some, probably not most though.
It tends to be more of an issue for babies who have early introduction of bottles because of early bfing issues (ie non attachers, prems etc) rather than occasional use of a bottle once baby is a proficient breast feeder, but it can still happen (would be seen as bottle preference rather than confusion in these cases).
The link below has great information on alternative ways of feeding a breast fed baby and addresses bottle feeding as one of the options, it is evidence based information presented in a non-judgemental way.
http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding...native-feeding/
All the best.

#5 kwiggle

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:32 AM

I think it's a brilliant idea if you can make it work.  I started expressing about week 2 with the intent of DH doing the 11pm feed.  It didn't work as this was the most unreliable feed of the day & LO didn't wake up!  4-5 would be much better if your partner is keen to take on that ungodly hour rolleyes.gif
I really think you should do what works for your family rather than following "lactation rules" - it's such an individual thing.  I second kellymom as an awesome resource.  I've used it a lot to trouble shoot little issues.  Good luck!

#6 Zephie Chugger

Posted 14 December 2012 - 11:47 AM

Yes, We did a nightly bottle feed from birth (DP birth Mum) who went back to work at 6 month  needed the sleep so from dote we did two bottle feeds  per 24hrs. DP express in the day and before/after morning feed.

It worked for us, DP bfed DS1 until he was nearly a year, with no problems with bfing issues.

#7 kpingitquiet

Posted 14 December 2012 - 11:57 AM

We did it practically from birth. Kiddo was a non-stop sucker and I knew I needed that short nighttime break if I was going to stick with BF. I expressed 1-2 feeds worth of EBM per day then bf on demand the rest of the time. We used 1 at night (dad fed) and 1 for any car trips as I'm not designed for bfing on the go. We didn't have the bf success many do but we got to 6.5 months before my supply dropped out.

#8 Batmansunderpants

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:01 PM

My DH does any bottles between 9-1am and he wakes me for the next feed which is usually 2-3 am. We do this everyday so I get a block of sleep beforehand he gets a block of sleep after. This works for us as we can't get much sleep during the day due to also having a toddler.

Whoever isn't getting up sleeps in bed, the other sleeps on the lounge.

#9 Tesseract

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:01 PM

I never understood how this works. Don't most people sleep the baby in their room? So the baby wakes up and Mum usually wakes up before Dad because she's more attuned. So she wakes Dad up, then Dad goes and warms the bottle, feeds the baby, and then has to resettle without the boob, which usually results in crying - I don't see how this helps Mum get anymore sleep? Most mums can't sleep through a baby waking, feeding and crying...so it's not like you get more sleep and the whole thing take longer, and then there is the expressing...

Anyway that's how it was for us. But as shown in this thread it works great for some families.

Might be worth just waiting and seeing what your baby is like. I wouldn't introduce a bottle until breastfeeding was well established, but that's just my experience of a 'non-attacher' who took a lot of work to get breastfeeding.

#10 roses99

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:09 PM

That wouldn't have helped me. I found expressing/cleaning bottles etc such a drain when I had to do it with DS that I would never do it voluntarily. It might help you depending in your particular baby, but you might need to jut wait and see. What DID help me hugely was DH being on duty or all re-settling duties until midnight every night. It meant I could feed DS then go to bed early. DH would get him up when he woke, bring him to me to feed and the. I'd roll over and go straight back to sleep while DH resettled. I loved knowing that he was taking care of it and that I could sleep without listening out for little cries.

#11 Zephie Chugger

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:20 PM

QUOTE (Tesseract @ 14/12/2012, 01:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I never understood how this works. Don't most people sleep the baby in their room? So the baby wakes up and Mum usually wakes up before Dad because she's more attuned. So she wakes Dad up, then Dad goes and warms the bottle, feeds the baby, and then has to resettle without the boob, which usually results in crying - I don't see how this helps Mum get anymore sleep? Most mums can't sleep through a baby waking, feeding and crying...so it's not like you get more sleep and the whole thing take longer, and then there is the expressing...


Wow,  Tesseract that sounds so stressful.

I believe being attuned with your baby/children  is all a individual thing. Some Dad'd are better with babies, some Mum's are better with toddles.



#12 Tesseract

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:26 PM

QUOTE (Zephie Chugger @ 14/12/2012, 01:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow,  Tesseract that sounds so stressful.

I believe being attuned with your baby/children  is all a individual thing. Some Dad'd are better with babies, some Mum's are better with toddles.


Lol, yes it was! Co-sleeping and breastfeeding was what kept us all happy and rested!

Of course I agree with you about the attuned thing, as I said that was just what it was like in our house, DH could sleep through the apocalypse, whereas I am so attuned to DD that I wake up a minute BEFORE she does! And can't go back to sleep unless she's happy/asleep.

#13 kpingitquiet

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:31 PM

QUOTE (Tesseract @ 14/12/2012, 12:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I never understood how this works. Don't most people sleep the baby in their room? So the baby wakes up and Mum usually wakes up before Dad because she's more attuned. So she wakes Dad up, then Dad goes and warms the bottle, feeds the baby, and then has to resettle without the boob, which usually results in crying - I don't see how this helps Mum get anymore sleep? Most mums can't sleep through a baby waking, feeding and crying...so it's not like you get more sleep and the whole thing take longer, and then there is the expressing...

Not around this house! I have become excellent in sleeping through baby/toddler noises. Obviously, we both woke up in the early months but if I didn't have to do anything more than nudge him, I was fine. Some would say it's mean of me to have him get up but he can miraculously drift back to sleep at will while I'd be awake the rest of the night/day. He wakes up to her (luckily now rare) cries just fine. I imagine most dads with a mind to could as well.

#14 Feral Borgia

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:33 PM

QUOTE (Tesseract @ 14/12/2012, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Lol, yes it was! Co-sleeping and breastfeeding was what kept us all happy and rested!

Of course I agree with you about the attuned thing, as I said that was just what it was like in our house, DH could sleep through the apocalypse, whereas I am so attuned to DD that I wake up a minute BEFORE she does! And can't go back to sleep unless she's happy/asleep.

It was definitely like this in our house! DS2 was in our room for around six months ....DH would routinely wake up in the morning, roll over and say " well that was a good night for him wasn't it " ....good for you DH....you slept through it all!

#15 somila

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:38 PM

My husband did a night bottle feed with DS#2 when I was wrestling with excruciatingly painful feeding and mastitis.  We did 3 breastfeeds alternating with 3 EBM feeds and one formula feed.  It got us through till four months by which time his attachment improved and he was fully breastfed.

Interestingly, I had no trouble going back to sleep - huge relief really, not to be gritting my teeth in tears through a feed in the middle of the night.  DS#2 was/is certainly very bonded with his father who was the only one who wore the sling in our house.  When he was coming in to our bed as a young child he always went to Daddy's side.

I didn't do this with DS#1 though, as he could be breastfed with only moderate pain for me.  There are plenty of other things fathers can do with babies, so I personally wouldn't bother.  Just me though. original.gif

#16 Madeline's Mum

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:43 PM

We used to take it in turns, one night I would do the feeds, the next DH would. Generally it was a 2am feed but it was the resettling that took the longest.

H was exclusively EBF so we would just heat up freshly pumped milk. With warm tap water or a kettle. We would just rinse the bottle and deal with it in te morning. I was doing so many washes and sterilizing that it made no difference to me.

It didn't take us long to stop changing him (unless he had done a poo) and stop turning any lights on to help quicken the resettling.

#17 lucky 2

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

QUOTE
H was exclusively EBF so we would just heat up freshly pumped milk.

If you have expressed the milk within 6-8 hrs of using it then apparently you don't have to refridgerate it and then you don't have to re-heat it.
One less thing to do!

#18 mum201

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

QUOTE (Tesseract @ 14/12/2012, 01:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I never understood how this works. Don't most people sleep the baby in their room? So the baby wakes up and Mum usually wakes up before Dad because she's more attuned. So she wakes Dad up, then Dad goes and warms the bottle, feeds the baby, and then has to resettle without the boob, which usually results in crying - I don't see how this helps Mum get anymore sleep? Most mums can't sleep through a baby waking, feeding and crying...so it's not like you get more sleep and the whole thing take longer, and then there is the expressing...

Anyway that's how it was for us. But as shown in this thread it works great for some families.

Might be worth just waiting and seeing what your baby is like. I wouldn't introduce a bottle until breastfeeding was well established, but that's just my experience of a 'non-attacher' who took a lot of work to get breastfeeding.


This. It wouldn't have mattered where DS was in the house, if he was awake I woke up. Then we just would have had 2 people awake instead of one. Best for dad to at least be rested for work.
Plus the pumping was so much work. I would never ever do it unless I had to. Plus I would have woken up from achy rock hard breasts possibly in a wet pool of milk anyhow (even with breast pads).
But it believe it does work for some.

#19 elmo_mum

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:52 PM

i was bf and expressing

quiet a few nights dh would let me go to bed early and he would feed the 10pm ish feed

othertimes he would let me sleep and he woud feed o/night


my suggestion would be to see how u go and then expresd and let dh feed

#20 IVL

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

I unfortunately was never very good at expressing in any large amounts. But what I did find hugely helpful  was for DH to bring the baby to me in bed, I would feed her then DH would take her back to bed to settle or change her as needed. Meant I got back to sleep straight away, sometimes I didn't really wake up, DH was able to position her for me I just laid there, sounds romantic hey????

#21 mum201

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

QUOTE (Lucretia Borgia @ 14/12/2012, 01:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It was definitely like this in our house! DS2 was in our room for around six months ....DH would routinely wake up in the morning, roll over and say " well that was a good night for him wasn't it " ....good for you DH....you slept through it all!


Same. DH will sleep through anything. There was a period where DS was waking hourly and DH would wake up in the morning and say 'only one wake up, he is becoming a great sleeper'! Uuuummmmm no! I don't blame DH though, often DS just wakes me by crawling over from his sidecar and poking me in the face. Most other wake ups are just me sensing he is awake, so very little noise to wake DH.

#22 happygurl06

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:00 PM

With DD we ended up FF quite quickly and DH did the 11:30 bottle - it was wonderful!  From 6 weeks DD only has that bottle then woke again at 5am so I was we'll rested.

DS is fully BF and I guess if I wanted DH to do a bottle in the early days it would have been the 11 ish one.  I personally found if DS woke at night a quick BF in bed would put him straight back to sleep.  There was no waiting around for bottles to be warmed etc.

#23 lucky 2

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:09 PM

QUOTE
often DS just wakes me by crawling over from his sidecar and poking me in the face.

I hope you don't mind me smiling at that mum201, it's such a great image, what a resourceful boy biggrin.gif .

#24 maerska

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:11 PM

Apart from the fact that my husband was chief bottle washer & sterilizer, we just alternated feeding and settling. It was just how we worked it out so we both got enough sleep. With both kids I might add.
He's a rare kind of man though I have to admit. He is an amazing Dad and has an incredible bond with our kids...and that's because he's put a lot in to their early years without hesitation.
We both think it's fabulous to be involved in all aspects of their little lives.

#25 mum201

Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:19 PM

QUOTE (lucky 2 @ 14/12/2012, 02:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I hope you don't mind me smiling at that mum201, it's such a great image, what a resourceful boy biggrin.gif .


original.gif Oh I totally agree it's very funny and cute.....maybe not so much at 3am.  He knows I am the one with the milk so he has no time for DH at night rolleyes.gif




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