Jump to content

serving food


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#1 nup

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

When people come over do you serve them a set plate of food, or lay out all the food in a help yourself style? Have you ever not had enough food for your guests? Do guests ever ask you for more food?

I ate at ILs house last night after not having done so for a couple of years. We both had forgotten how mean they are with food and they served up a single portion between six of us. roll2.gif

MIL has serious food issues as the fridge is always full of leftovers which they're squirreling away for themselves. She'll make a birthday cake and only serve half of it.  laughing2.gif Meanwhile I think they're throwing away a great deal of food while all of their guests leave hungry.

I'm curious to know how you figure out how much others eat as MIL is so clueless and we just lay on a banquet for our guests. In my house, no one leaves hungry.

Edited by blithely2, 13 December 2012 - 08:24 PM.


#2 *LucyE*

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:38 PM

If its casual, it would be serve yourself style. If it's more of a formal dinner party, I tend to serve individual portions.

Sometimes our impromptu meals are a bit haphazard and people will share a steak or something so there's enough to go around, but there will usually be enough sides to fill people up.

I buck from my mother's habit of force feeding people til they are so full they need to roll away from the table. No one wants to hurt her feelings so don't refuse her food and because people keep eating, she keeps bringing stuff out. Vicious circle LOL.

So, I don't push food on people and sometimes I think I may go too far the other way. Using the birthday cake example, I recently only served the kids and didnt serve any of the adults. I left the cake on the table for people to help themselves (with places and cutlery) and then when no one touched it after about 30 mins, I moved it to the kitchen to clear the table. There was 3/4 of the cake left.  I noticed one person go cut themselves a slice later. I had a twinge of guilt but then figured our friends know me well enough and are comfortable here, it's no big deal.

#3 snortle

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:44 PM

-

Edited by snortle, 20 May 2014 - 09:47 PM.


#4 MrsDamonSalvatore

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:45 PM

depends what we have. if i "cook" a meal, i will do individual plates. but if we have a bbq (yes i know thats cooking but its different Tounge1.gif) we just lay it all out and everyone helps themselves original.gif

#5 Unatheowl

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:47 PM

QUOTE (snortle @ 13/12/2012, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If its a dinner party with up to 6 guests I will serve out the courses already plated.

If its more people its buffet.
I'm from the Balkans (Europe) and basically been taught that running out of food is a sin that should be punishable by death lol, I was always taught to make one extra serve (at least) of each food unless you had a surprise guest


Haha. One side of my family is polish and I have been brought up with the same ideals.  Running out of food would be truly mortifying.  I usually serve up the food but the put the rest on the table for seconds.

#6 nup

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:49 PM

Just to clarify because I don't want anyone thinking she's normal in any way... MIL will bring out a birthday cake, cut it in half and take half back to the fridge. For her it's light the candles, birthday song, cut the cake in half as soon as birthday boy has done his cutting part.

#7 Holidayromp

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:51 PM

I always make sure I serve more than enough food.  Usually I have so much left over that it feeds this family of five for a few days afterwards!  But it it better to have more than enough then not enough.
Also I put the food out for people to serve themselves.  I don't know how much people eat and they know how much or how little they want so it is easier to let them make their own decision.

#8 *Caro*

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:56 PM

I tend to do buffet style and let people serve themselves.  I also do this for most of our every day meals at home - it helps the kids learn to regulate how much they eat.  If they are hungry they have three serves, if they are peckish they have a little serve original.gif

I'm not Polish or from the Balkans, but I also tend to over cater and serve too much food.  I hate the idea of guests being hungry! I'm also very conscious of not serving up food that people might not like - which is why I like serving up buffet style, because then people can choose from a range of options.

#9 hunter4

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 AM

definitely serve yourself for me.  I don't know people preferences and would prefer that they chose than be handed something they don't like.  Last time I went somewhere and they served out the dinner they gave me half a place of mashed potatoes which I hate.  So to avoid being rude I'm forced to eat a heap of potato I didn't want.  Allowing people to serve themselves removes all those hassels.

#10 MintyBiscuit

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:28 AM

I much prefer the serve yourself idea, and that's what we do when we have people over. I always have too much food too, but there's no harm in leftovers.

That said, I've never done a formal dinner party type thing, so if I were to do that I'd probably serve up individual plates.

Your MIL sounds a bit strange

#11 Bel Rowley

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:29 AM

Depends on the type of food. If I'm having guests I tend to do the type of food where it's easiest for people to serve themselves, different people have such different appetites so it would be crazy to serve up the same portions to everyone. I have never run out of food, I always over-cater.

#12 JustBeige

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

QUOTE (snortle @ 13/12/2012, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If its a dinner party with up to 6 guests I will serve out the courses already plated.

If its more people its buffet.
I'm from the Balkans (Europe) and basically been taught that running out of food is a sin that should be punishable by death lol, I was always taught to make one extra serve (at least) of each food unless you had a surprise guest

ETA I actually meant IN CASE you have a surprise guest lol ddoh.gif


Dont have European family, but I was brought up the same.  Whether it be buffet or plated.

QUOTE (blithely2 @ 13/12/2012, 09:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just to clarify because I don't want anyone thinking she's normal in any way... MIL will bring out a birthday cake, cut it in half and take half back to the fridge. For her it's light the candles, birthday song, cut the cake in half as soon as birthday boy has done his cutting part.

MIL and I were talking about someone who they know that does exactly the same thing.    

This lady is a small eater and even if she does the buffet style thing, she portions out how much each person has. ie: 1 party pie each; 1 portion of Sausage roll each etc.  My FIL used to go to Maccas on the way home as he was always hungry.    

They have changed their get togethers now so that they all bring a dish each (there is 8 of them) but this hostess will ALWAYS get up after eating her toddlers worth of food, scrape the leftovers into a container for her and her DH, wash the guests dish and then sit back down.  Doesnt matter that the others may want more, as far as she is concerned you should be done.    

LOL, She's a really nice lady other than this and they do enjoy her company.  My MIL tells me she is getting worse and they just dont know what to do about it without embarrassing her.


OP, your MIL sounds exactly the same.  Do they live in the outskirts of Sydney and her name start with a Y??   (dont delete if it is, just PM me) original.gif

#13 WithSprinkles

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

I prefer letting people serve themselves, that way they can choose how much to eat and what they want to eat.

Sometimes I may serve part of the meal up (e.g. the meat portion or a slice of lasagne or something) and let them help themselves to salad/veggies/side dishes..

I always end up with food left-over. I think it's better to over-cater than under-cater.

ETA: and I don't put the left overs away until everyone has FINISHED eating (and usually ask if anyone wants a second helping)

Edited by VanillaIcecream, 14 December 2012 - 08:42 AM.


#14 qak

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

On the servings - we went to a BBQ at a friends house and they had 6 bread rolls for 12 people.  I really thought WTF???

Then after the (1 sausage each) was eaten the hostess offered around some of those wafer sticks - she had counted 12 into a glass which was passed around.

We went to Maccas on the way home too!

#15 ~Jodama_Feral~

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

Depends on the meal. I like buffet style but sometimes a plated meal is called for. But there is always enough for seconds and thirds and usually we will eat the leftovers for lunch the next day or the dog will get it, so no waste here.

#16 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:44 AM

QUOTE (JustBeige @ 14/12/2012, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
LOL, She's a really nice lady other than this and they do enjoy her company.  My MIL tells me she is getting worse and they just dont know what to do about it without embarrassing her.


Don't eat at this ladies house.  Alternatively if it is that much of a problem someone is going to have to speak up.  Her actions seem selfish to me irrespective of how nice she is.

#17 Wahwah

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:46 AM

[quote name='blithely2' date='13/12/2012, 09:22 PM' post='15155845'

I ate at ILs house last night after not having done so for a couple of years. We both had forgotten how mean they are with food and they served up a single portion between six of us. roll2.gif

[/quote]

My MIL is almost this bad. She doesn't cook so much anymore for the whole family but in the past she would have cooked enough sausages so that each adult got one and the kids (including 8 - 10 year olds) got half a sausage. And maybe a potato salad made from 6 taties for 12 people.

I don't think she's being mean. She is a crappy cook with really no idea about food. My ILs have very small appetites and are quite elderly and hate waste. They haven't worked out that their big strapping adult boys eat 3x what they do, let alone the grand kids.

We always insist on bringing something to "help out" as does DH's sister, so that the kids don't end up asking nanna for more food and sending her into a tizz.

ETA sorry about the quote thing, doesn't like the iPad for some reason.

Edited by Wahwah, 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM.


#18 *melrose*

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

QUOTE
She'll make a birthday cake and only serve half of it.
roll2.gif roll2.gif

#19 Jenferal

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:48 AM

My MiL ALWAYS over caters. She used to late up food and always give me too much, but now we tend to put it all out in the kitchen, we serve ourselves and our kids , then eat in the dining room.

Though it seems its the women getting food for everyone while the men sit down now I think about it...

#20 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:52 AM

QUOTE (Jenflea @ 14/12/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Though it seems its the women getting food for everyone while the men sit down now I think about it...


My DH would starve if he expect this sort of service.  However depending on what is happening ie he may be busy with the kids or something then I would offer but if they all go and sit on their fat arses and expect the food to come to them they will be waiting a long long time and end up with no food at all.

#21 princessanarchy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:00 AM

My DH is the cook in our house, and always over-caters, does a smorgasbord of several dishes/sides etc. The funny thing is he then sooks when I send people home with leftovers?!? My BF overcaters then gets cranky when it all gets eaten. I think people often set out to 'have leftovers' so it might be better, if wanting extras for the next few days etc, to make a bigger batch and not put it all out. There's a difference between serving plenty so no-one's hungry, can have seconds etc and actually overcatering. People who are stingy on the other hand drive me mad - they are usually the ones who won't leave a man behind when it comes to eating at other people's places (IME).

#22 kpingitquiet

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:09 AM

We have limited space and I cook a LOT of food so I almost always do buffet style., A buffet doesn't have to be casual and can be quite formal, really. I only serve people's portions if we have only 1 or 2 people over for a meal and actually all fit around the kitchen table, but I definitely make sure there's enough for everyone to have 2nds and even a couple options for 3rds. We may be broke but we're not stingy!

Oh, and I've totally noticed that women=service+cleanup men=sit+gab+drink since I moved here. It blew my mind. I pointed it out to husband and he has helped "the women" bring down salads and clear up dirty plates ever since. My family was more women=service+sit+gab and men/kids=sit+gab+cleanup.

Husband's always been good about it at our house, though. If we have guests, I serve the food because I'm the cook, unless we all want nachos, beef stroganoff or apricot chicken (the foods he's comfortable cooking) for every special occasion biggrin.gif But he pours and serves drinks for everyone, carries food/plates in and out, gets up to get me something if I've forgotten, does all the dishes...as any non-cook should! original.gif

#23 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:21 AM

QUOTE (princessanarchy @ 14/12/2012, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH is the cook in our house, and always over-caters, does a smorgasbord of several dishes/sides etc. The funny thing is he then sooks when I send people home with leftovers?!? My BF overcaters then gets cranky when it all gets eaten. I think people often set out to 'have leftovers' so it might be better, if wanting extras for the next few days etc, to make a bigger batch and not put it all out. There's a difference between serving plenty so no-one's hungry, can have seconds etc and actually overcatering. People who are stingy on the other hand drive me mad - they are usually the ones who won't leave a man behind when it comes to eating at other people's places (IME).

Maybe this is why your DH sooks because you send people home with food that he has taken hours to cook that he intends to use over the next couple of days.  To be quite honest I wouldn't blame him.  I would be pretty p*ssy if my partner handed out food to guests who haven't brought anything (or even brought a little something) that I had spent hours making when they have contributed nothing at all towards.  What gives you the right to think you can just hand out food.  Surely your husband should have say in it.  Did you even bother consulting him?

#24 emlis22

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:25 AM

Usually our weekly get together dinners are serve yourself at the table and there's always plenty to go round. (this ultimately creates more dishes!)

at the IL's you are served with a plate.

#25 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:26 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 14/12/2012, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But he pours and serves drinks for everyone, carries food/plates in and out, gets up to get me something if I've forgotten, does all the dishes...as any non-cook should! original.gif

DH never cooks if we have guests but he does the above with the exception of the dishes.  I get stuck with them and it sh*ts me.  I have just spent hours in the kitchen preparing it all and now I have to stand out there cleaning up.  One year the guests offered their assistance with the clean up and I was cheering but bloody dh turned around and said not to bother and then sat on his fat a*se and did NOTHING whilst I stood out in the kitchen for another two plus hours cleaning up.  Boy I was p*ssed off with him that night.
It is an on-going issue with him - if he does do it he leaves it until the next day, or take ages top do a little bit but leave the table, leave clean dishes piled up amongst the mess and dirty benches and it then takes me twice as long to get it all cleaned up.  Unfortunately we now only have a tiny kitchen and it needs to be properly cleaned up every time.  But he still has trouble understanding that.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

'Chopstick Baby' born at 23 weeks

Given the nickname of 'Chopstick Baby' by local media, a baby born weighing 660g has survived a week outside the womb.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.