Jump to content

serving food


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#1 nup

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:22 PM

When people come over do you serve them a set plate of food, or lay out all the food in a help yourself style? Have you ever not had enough food for your guests? Do guests ever ask you for more food?

I ate at ILs house last night after not having done so for a couple of years. We both had forgotten how mean they are with food and they served up a single portion between six of us. roll2.gif

MIL has serious food issues as the fridge is always full of leftovers which they're squirreling away for themselves. She'll make a birthday cake and only serve half of it.  laughing2.gif Meanwhile I think they're throwing away a great deal of food while all of their guests leave hungry.

I'm curious to know how you figure out how much others eat as MIL is so clueless and we just lay on a banquet for our guests. In my house, no one leaves hungry.

Edited by blithely2, 13 December 2012 - 08:24 PM.


#2 *LucyE*

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:38 PM

If its casual, it would be serve yourself style. If it's more of a formal dinner party, I tend to serve individual portions.

Sometimes our impromptu meals are a bit haphazard and people will share a steak or something so there's enough to go around, but there will usually be enough sides to fill people up.

I buck from my mother's habit of force feeding people til they are so full they need to roll away from the table. No one wants to hurt her feelings so don't refuse her food and because people keep eating, she keeps bringing stuff out. Vicious circle LOL.

So, I don't push food on people and sometimes I think I may go too far the other way. Using the birthday cake example, I recently only served the kids and didnt serve any of the adults. I left the cake on the table for people to help themselves (with places and cutlery) and then when no one touched it after about 30 mins, I moved it to the kitchen to clear the table. There was 3/4 of the cake left.  I noticed one person go cut themselves a slice later. I had a twinge of guilt but then figured our friends know me well enough and are comfortable here, it's no big deal.

#3 snortle

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:44 PM

-

Edited by snortle, 20 May 2014 - 09:47 PM.


#4 MrsDamonSalvatore

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:45 PM

depends what we have. if i "cook" a meal, i will do individual plates. but if we have a bbq (yes i know thats cooking but its different Tounge1.gif) we just lay it all out and everyone helps themselves original.gif

#5 Unatheowl

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:47 PM

QUOTE (snortle @ 13/12/2012, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If its a dinner party with up to 6 guests I will serve out the courses already plated.

If its more people its buffet.
I'm from the Balkans (Europe) and basically been taught that running out of food is a sin that should be punishable by death lol, I was always taught to make one extra serve (at least) of each food unless you had a surprise guest


Haha. One side of my family is polish and I have been brought up with the same ideals.  Running out of food would be truly mortifying.  I usually serve up the food but the put the rest on the table for seconds.

#6 nup

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:49 PM

Just to clarify because I don't want anyone thinking she's normal in any way... MIL will bring out a birthday cake, cut it in half and take half back to the fridge. For her it's light the candles, birthday song, cut the cake in half as soon as birthday boy has done his cutting part.

#7 Holidayromp

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:51 PM

I always make sure I serve more than enough food.  Usually I have so much left over that it feeds this family of five for a few days afterwards!  But it it better to have more than enough then not enough.
Also I put the food out for people to serve themselves.  I don't know how much people eat and they know how much or how little they want so it is easier to let them make their own decision.

#8 *Caro*

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:56 PM

I tend to do buffet style and let people serve themselves.  I also do this for most of our every day meals at home - it helps the kids learn to regulate how much they eat.  If they are hungry they have three serves, if they are peckish they have a little serve original.gif

I'm not Polish or from the Balkans, but I also tend to over cater and serve too much food.  I hate the idea of guests being hungry! I'm also very conscious of not serving up food that people might not like - which is why I like serving up buffet style, because then people can choose from a range of options.

#9 hunter4

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:22 AM

definitely serve yourself for me.  I don't know people preferences and would prefer that they chose than be handed something they don't like.  Last time I went somewhere and they served out the dinner they gave me half a place of mashed potatoes which I hate.  So to avoid being rude I'm forced to eat a heap of potato I didn't want.  Allowing people to serve themselves removes all those hassels.

#10 MintyBiscuit

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:28 AM

I much prefer the serve yourself idea, and that's what we do when we have people over. I always have too much food too, but there's no harm in leftovers.

That said, I've never done a formal dinner party type thing, so if I were to do that I'd probably serve up individual plates.

Your MIL sounds a bit strange

#11 Bel Rowley

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:29 AM

Depends on the type of food. If I'm having guests I tend to do the type of food where it's easiest for people to serve themselves, different people have such different appetites so it would be crazy to serve up the same portions to everyone. I have never run out of food, I always over-cater.

#12 JustBeige

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

QUOTE (snortle @ 13/12/2012, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If its a dinner party with up to 6 guests I will serve out the courses already plated.

If its more people its buffet.
I'm from the Balkans (Europe) and basically been taught that running out of food is a sin that should be punishable by death lol, I was always taught to make one extra serve (at least) of each food unless you had a surprise guest

ETA I actually meant IN CASE you have a surprise guest lol ddoh.gif


Dont have European family, but I was brought up the same.  Whether it be buffet or plated.

QUOTE (blithely2 @ 13/12/2012, 09:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just to clarify because I don't want anyone thinking she's normal in any way... MIL will bring out a birthday cake, cut it in half and take half back to the fridge. For her it's light the candles, birthday song, cut the cake in half as soon as birthday boy has done his cutting part.

MIL and I were talking about someone who they know that does exactly the same thing.    

This lady is a small eater and even if she does the buffet style thing, she portions out how much each person has. ie: 1 party pie each; 1 portion of Sausage roll each etc.  My FIL used to go to Maccas on the way home as he was always hungry.    

They have changed their get togethers now so that they all bring a dish each (there is 8 of them) but this hostess will ALWAYS get up after eating her toddlers worth of food, scrape the leftovers into a container for her and her DH, wash the guests dish and then sit back down.  Doesnt matter that the others may want more, as far as she is concerned you should be done.    

LOL, She's a really nice lady other than this and they do enjoy her company.  My MIL tells me she is getting worse and they just dont know what to do about it without embarrassing her.


OP, your MIL sounds exactly the same.  Do they live in the outskirts of Sydney and her name start with a Y??   (dont delete if it is, just PM me) original.gif

#13 WithSprinkles

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

I prefer letting people serve themselves, that way they can choose how much to eat and what they want to eat.

Sometimes I may serve part of the meal up (e.g. the meat portion or a slice of lasagne or something) and let them help themselves to salad/veggies/side dishes..

I always end up with food left-over. I think it's better to over-cater than under-cater.

ETA: and I don't put the left overs away until everyone has FINISHED eating (and usually ask if anyone wants a second helping)

Edited by VanillaIcecream, 14 December 2012 - 08:42 AM.


#14 qak

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

On the servings - we went to a BBQ at a friends house and they had 6 bread rolls for 12 people.  I really thought WTF???

Then after the (1 sausage each) was eaten the hostess offered around some of those wafer sticks - she had counted 12 into a glass which was passed around.

We went to Maccas on the way home too!

#15 ~Jodama_Feral~

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

Depends on the meal. I like buffet style but sometimes a plated meal is called for. But there is always enough for seconds and thirds and usually we will eat the leftovers for lunch the next day or the dog will get it, so no waste here.

#16 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:44 AM

QUOTE (JustBeige @ 14/12/2012, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
LOL, She's a really nice lady other than this and they do enjoy her company.  My MIL tells me she is getting worse and they just dont know what to do about it without embarrassing her.


Don't eat at this ladies house.  Alternatively if it is that much of a problem someone is going to have to speak up.  Her actions seem selfish to me irrespective of how nice she is.

#17 Wahwah

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:46 AM

[quote name='blithely2' date='13/12/2012, 09:22 PM' post='15155845'

I ate at ILs house last night after not having done so for a couple of years. We both had forgotten how mean they are with food and they served up a single portion between six of us. roll2.gif

[/quote]

My MIL is almost this bad. She doesn't cook so much anymore for the whole family but in the past she would have cooked enough sausages so that each adult got one and the kids (including 8 - 10 year olds) got half a sausage. And maybe a potato salad made from 6 taties for 12 people.

I don't think she's being mean. She is a crappy cook with really no idea about food. My ILs have very small appetites and are quite elderly and hate waste. They haven't worked out that their big strapping adult boys eat 3x what they do, let alone the grand kids.

We always insist on bringing something to "help out" as does DH's sister, so that the kids don't end up asking nanna for more food and sending her into a tizz.

ETA sorry about the quote thing, doesn't like the iPad for some reason.

Edited by Wahwah, 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM.


#18 *melrose*

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

QUOTE
She'll make a birthday cake and only serve half of it.
roll2.gif roll2.gif

#19 Jenflea

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:48 AM

My MiL ALWAYS over caters. She used to late up food and always give me too much, but now we tend to put it all out in the kitchen, we serve ourselves and our kids , then eat in the dining room.

Though it seems its the women getting food for everyone while the men sit down now I think about it...

#20 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:52 AM

QUOTE (Jenflea @ 14/12/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Though it seems its the women getting food for everyone while the men sit down now I think about it...


My DH would starve if he expect this sort of service.  However depending on what is happening ie he may be busy with the kids or something then I would offer but if they all go and sit on their fat arses and expect the food to come to them they will be waiting a long long time and end up with no food at all.

#21 princessanarchy

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:00 AM

My DH is the cook in our house, and always over-caters, does a smorgasbord of several dishes/sides etc. The funny thing is he then sooks when I send people home with leftovers?!? My BF overcaters then gets cranky when it all gets eaten. I think people often set out to 'have leftovers' so it might be better, if wanting extras for the next few days etc, to make a bigger batch and not put it all out. There's a difference between serving plenty so no-one's hungry, can have seconds etc and actually overcatering. People who are stingy on the other hand drive me mad - they are usually the ones who won't leave a man behind when it comes to eating at other people's places (IME).

#22 kpingitquiet

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:09 AM

We have limited space and I cook a LOT of food so I almost always do buffet style., A buffet doesn't have to be casual and can be quite formal, really. I only serve people's portions if we have only 1 or 2 people over for a meal and actually all fit around the kitchen table, but I definitely make sure there's enough for everyone to have 2nds and even a couple options for 3rds. We may be broke but we're not stingy!

Oh, and I've totally noticed that women=service+cleanup men=sit+gab+drink since I moved here. It blew my mind. I pointed it out to husband and he has helped "the women" bring down salads and clear up dirty plates ever since. My family was more women=service+sit+gab and men/kids=sit+gab+cleanup.

Husband's always been good about it at our house, though. If we have guests, I serve the food because I'm the cook, unless we all want nachos, beef stroganoff or apricot chicken (the foods he's comfortable cooking) for every special occasion biggrin.gif But he pours and serves drinks for everyone, carries food/plates in and out, gets up to get me something if I've forgotten, does all the dishes...as any non-cook should! original.gif

#23 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:21 AM

QUOTE (princessanarchy @ 14/12/2012, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH is the cook in our house, and always over-caters, does a smorgasbord of several dishes/sides etc. The funny thing is he then sooks when I send people home with leftovers?!? My BF overcaters then gets cranky when it all gets eaten. I think people often set out to 'have leftovers' so it might be better, if wanting extras for the next few days etc, to make a bigger batch and not put it all out. There's a difference between serving plenty so no-one's hungry, can have seconds etc and actually overcatering. People who are stingy on the other hand drive me mad - they are usually the ones who won't leave a man behind when it comes to eating at other people's places (IME).

Maybe this is why your DH sooks because you send people home with food that he has taken hours to cook that he intends to use over the next couple of days.  To be quite honest I wouldn't blame him.  I would be pretty p*ssy if my partner handed out food to guests who haven't brought anything (or even brought a little something) that I had spent hours making when they have contributed nothing at all towards.  What gives you the right to think you can just hand out food.  Surely your husband should have say in it.  Did you even bother consulting him?

#24 emlis22

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:25 AM

Usually our weekly get together dinners are serve yourself at the table and there's always plenty to go round. (this ultimately creates more dishes!)

at the IL's you are served with a plate.

#25 Holidayromp

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:26 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 14/12/2012, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But he pours and serves drinks for everyone, carries food/plates in and out, gets up to get me something if I've forgotten, does all the dishes...as any non-cook should! original.gif

DH never cooks if we have guests but he does the above with the exception of the dishes.  I get stuck with them and it sh*ts me.  I have just spent hours in the kitchen preparing it all and now I have to stand out there cleaning up.  One year the guests offered their assistance with the clean up and I was cheering but bloody dh turned around and said not to bother and then sat on his fat a*se and did NOTHING whilst I stood out in the kitchen for another two plus hours cleaning up.  Boy I was p*ssed off with him that night.
It is an on-going issue with him - if he does do it he leaves it until the next day, or take ages top do a little bit but leave the table, leave clean dishes piled up amongst the mess and dirty benches and it then takes me twice as long to get it all cleaned up.  Unfortunately we now only have a tiny kitchen and it needs to be properly cleaned up every time.  But he still has trouble understanding that.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

POLL: Which expert do you want to talk to?

Take our super quick poll to let us know what kind of expert you'd like to talk to.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

What's your family's illness curse?

I'm a firm believer that every family has their 'curse' : the illness that plagues them but seems to bypass other families.

Bride shaves her head at wedding to pay tribute to ill husband

The idea of shaving your head at your wedding would sound terrifying to many brides - however this woman did it, and for the most heartbreaking reason.

When do you stop swearing around a baby?

You don't really want your baby's first word to be the f-word. So when do you stop talking freely around them?

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Mum left fuming after being forced to dump 15 litres of breast milk at airport

Aviation officials at London's Heathrow Airport forced a nursing mother to dump nearly four gallons (nearly 15 litres) of breast milk.

Health authorities lost track of complaints about controversial midwife

New Zealand hospital bosses were warned about a childbirth educator's controversial and dangerous teachings 10 years ago, but it appears nothing was done.

Would you pay someone to name your baby?

"If you are getting somebody who really knows the evidence, then I'll say it's worth every penny, whether its $500 or $5000."

How much exercise is okay when you’re breastfeeding?

After having each of my babies, I was keen to get back into exercising. Following lots of back pain during pregnancy that restricted my movement, once those babies were out I couldn't wait to move properly again.

Pre-conception health tips for men

As it turns out, conceiving a baby isn't just about fertility and women's health.

Can you spot the 11 dangers to your baby?

Some are difficult to see at first glance, but they can be dangerous to our little loved ones.

Toddler survives near drowning, wakes up with ability to speak

It was moving day for the Holiday family from West Seattle. The family of four were moving just a few houses down the street, and both homes were a hive of activity.

Amniotic fluid embolism and blood clots in pregnancy

Two types of embolism that can occur include amniotic fluid embolism (AFE) and venous thromboembolism (VTE, or clots in the blood).

Little girl's dream comes true when she meets garbage man

She always wanted to meet her bin man, who drives by her house and honks at her each time.

What to expect when you go from two to four

Elyce and her husband had a four-year-old and a two-year-old - both boys - when they received the news they were expecting twin sons.

The latest news on treating and trying to prevent eczema

Eczema is a disease which affects up to one in four children under the age of two in Australia. (SPONSORED)

What's new so far: prams & strollers of 2016

It's time to round up the new prams of 2016; here's your guide to what's new and improved in the pram world.

Baby's death leads to warnings over portacot mattresses

The death of a baby whose head got stuck between a foam mattress and a cot side has prompted a public safety caution.

The grandmother offering a safe haven for babies in need

Like most people, Catherine Lucre is left heartbroken when she hears news that a baby has been abandoned or killed.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.