Have you ever had a break from your current relationship?
What was the outcome?
, Dec 13 2012 01:40 PM
14 replies to this topic
Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:40 PM
Just wanting to hear from people who felt like they needed a break from their relationship for whatever reason.
If so what was the outcome? Were you able to work things out or was it basically the end?
I'm thinking along these lines at the moment, I've been with him for 2 years and there are some things that have not changed. He's a good person but if i leave things as they are I'm not happy and just feel like i'm settling.
Love to hear your experiences
Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:46 PM
My DH and I had a break while we were dating. We were together for about three years - on and off for a year (more off than on!) - and then back together for three years before we got married. We have now been married for ten years! We needed some time to work some things out for ourselves and now have a good relationship. It is obviously not for everyone but for us it worked!
Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:54 PM
I'm only going to tell you about my personal experience and I acknowledge this may not be true for everyone.
I had a long relationship in my 20's. The relationship had problems, which we tried to overcome. We went on a break then got back together but all it did was prolong the inevitable breakup and make it harder on both of us.
So, in answer to your question, it's my opinion that if you go on a break, you may as well break up as the problems that you have are not going to disappear just by being apart.
I also know someone else who had a break then got back together and went on to get married and have children. They would be the first to admit that the relationship is a massive compromise and that given time over, she would not have got back together with him.
Good luck working things out.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM
DH and I had a break while we were dating - we were teenagers though
3 years of dating ... a one month break turned into a 2 year break-up...back together 18months got engaged, married 2 years after. married for 6 years.
I have a lot of friends that have done this and i have seen it work (so far) about 60-70% of the time...
I dont believe anyone changes as such over the 'break' it is only if you realize that you love them enough to look past the things you dislike about them and you are both prepared to compromise otherwise (as i have seen first hand) you will end up breaking up for the same reasons further down the track..whether it be 6months or 6 years.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM
Me and hubby were together for about 8-9 years and had dd1 & 2, we were having some issues and separated for nearly a year. We now have a gorgeous 16 month old, another on the way (the last) and were married in December last year. For us it was the best thing we ever did. Of course we still have our issues but what relationship doesnt.
He can annoy the hell out of me at times, but he is a good father, provider, husband, friend etc etc and I couldn't imagine life with out him now.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:22 PM
I had had breaks in past relationships, but I find that the issues are usually still there when you get back together anyway.
No breaks in this relationship, I hate being away from him!
Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:36 PM
We did for a day when we first started going out but it was only due to the fact my ex waited outside his work and threatened to bash him with a metal pole.
Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:30 AM
I left DP after about 4 years together to move to another state and take a career opportunity I couldn't miss.
He wasn't interested in babies and buying a house and I was - I had no interest in 'trying to change his mind' or to live with a quiet resentment that I couldn't so it was a perfect opportunity.
We stayed on the best of terms and conducted a 3 year 'holiday' affair.
On one of these holidays DP asked me to marry him, I said no, when he asked why I told him.. "This is what I want out of a marriage, this is what kind of behaviour I expect in a life long partner.." he was pretty shocked and upset but I'm no fluffy little girl swayed from reality by the idea of a meringue dress and some printed stationary!
ABout 6 months later he arrived at my front door (with a bag of clothes and a coffee percolator strapped to the back of his motorbike) said "I want babies, I want to buy a house in the country, I will not sulk about things, I want to be with you.."
And here we are!
Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:36 AM
Countrymel! I love your story! You sound like a strong, determined woman who knows what she wants!
Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM
After about 6 months together it became clear that no amount of me nagging was going to get him to kick the pot habit, so I walked away.
The day he came back claiming to be clean, I made him do a drug test. Passed with flying colours and we haven't looked back
Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM
Oh damn CM, you just made me cry. I wish we could all raise our girls to be so sure of what they deserve in life. *sniff*
OP - Breaks can either be what needs to happen so you can be together long term, or what should happen so you can get your life back.
If you are having a break because one or both of you need to grow up a bit, then the possibility of you getting back together may be there as you may grow back together.
If there are inherent behaviours to a person that will have you stabbing them with a fork sooner rather than later, then leaving is the healthier thing to do emotionally.
In the second instance its a good life lesson to take with you. You have taught yourself to not just 'put up with it' just to be with anyone. You have taught yourself that you as a person DO matter.
OP, have you looked at counselling for yourself or marriage counselling for both of you. Sometimes, just an independant 3rd partys voice can help.
Edited by JustBeige, 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM.
Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM
High profile example is Wills and Kate.
Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:55 AM
High profile example is Wills and Kate.
Yes... Except I'm not sure that there was every a 'real' break there. I think it was more of a 'think it over' situation.
Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:07 AM
DH and I dated for about 3 months then he broke up with me because he wanted "a serious relationship and I was not interested in commitment".
We remained friends. He went traveling around Australia and we missed each other. When he returned we hung out a lot and got back together. I realized not all men were out to change me and that commitment is not always a bad word. We married about 2 months later.
We love each other, but the best bit is that we actually have an awesome friendship which we developed while apart. He is a great DH, awesome dad and a fun person to be around. The break worked for us, but it was hard.
Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:17 AM
CountryMel, I always love to read your story. It always brings tears to my eyes. I hope you get your baby soon.
DH and I took a weekend off from each other about 2 months in to the relationship. I felt like he was immature and didn't have enough drive. I went back to my home town and my friends slapped some sense into me. I think I was being immature and wanting a Hollywood romance.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.
While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?
Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.
As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.
Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.
A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.
You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.
We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.
Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.
The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found.
As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?
Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.
Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.
In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.
The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.
A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.
A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.
Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.
A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.
A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.
Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.
Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?
I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.
February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.
This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.
Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.
A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.
She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.
Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.
If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?
With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.
We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.
Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.
If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Win a KitchenAid Mixer
To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.