Jump to content

Have you ever had a break from your current relationship?
What was the outcome?


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 paula1

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:40 PM

Just wanting to hear from people who felt like they needed a break from their relationship for whatever reason.


If so what was the outcome? Were you able to work things out or was it basically the end?

I'm thinking along these lines at the moment, I've been with him for 2 years and there are some things that have not changed. He's a good person but if i leave things as they are I'm not happy and just feel like i'm settling.

Love to hear your experiences




#2 MARsmum

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

My DH and I had a break while we were dating.  We were together for about three years - on and off for a year (more off than on!) - and then back together for three years before we got married.  We have now been married for ten years!  We needed some time to work some things out for ourselves and now have a good relationship.  It is obviously not for everyone but for us it worked!

#3 Amy 1976

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

I'm only going to tell you about my personal experience and I acknowledge this may not be true for everyone.

I had a long relationship in my 20's. The relationship had problems, which we tried to overcome. We went on a break then got back together but all it did was prolong the inevitable breakup and make it harder on both of us.

So, in answer to your question, it's my opinion that if you go on a break, you may as well break up as the problems that you have are not going to disappear just by being apart.

I also know someone else who had a break then got back together and went on to get married and have children. They would be the first to admit that the relationship is a massive compromise and that given time over, she would not have got back together with him.

Good luck working things out.

#4 countrychic29

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

DH and I had a break while we were dating - we were teenagers though
3 years of dating ... a one month break turned into a 2 year break-up...back together 18months got engaged, married 2 years after. married for 6 years.
I have a lot of friends that have done this and i have seen it work (so far) about 60-70% of the time...
However
I dont believe anyone changes as such over the 'break' it is only if you realize that you love them enough to look past the things you dislike about them and you are both prepared to compromise otherwise (as i have seen first hand) you will end up breaking up for the same reasons further down the track..whether it be 6months or 6 years.


#5 Mummy fab

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

Me and hubby were together for about 8-9 years and had dd1 & 2, we were having some issues and separated for nearly a year. We now have a gorgeous 16 month old, another on the way (the last) and were married in December last year. For us it was the best thing we ever did. Of course we still have our issues but what relationship doesnt.

He can annoy the hell out of me at times, but he is a good father, provider, husband, friend etc etc and I couldn't imagine life with out him now.

#6 CountryBumpkin

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:22 PM

I had had breaks in past relationships, but I find that the issues are usually still there when you get back together anyway.

No breaks in this relationship, I hate being away from him!

#7 **Xena**

Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:36 PM

We did for a day when we first started going out but it was only due to the fact my ex waited outside his work and threatened to bash him with a metal pole.

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:30 AM

I left DP after about 4 years together to move to another state and take a career opportunity I couldn't miss.

He wasn't interested in babies and buying a house and I was - I had no interest in 'trying to change his mind' or to live with a quiet resentment that I couldn't so it was a perfect opportunity.

We stayed on the best of terms and conducted a 3 year 'holiday' affair.

On one of these holidays DP asked me to marry him, I said no, when he asked why I told him.. "This is what I want out of a marriage, this is what kind of behaviour I expect in a life long partner.."   he was pretty shocked and upset but I'm no fluffy little girl swayed from reality by the idea of a meringue dress and some printed stationary!

ABout 6 months later he arrived at my front door (with a bag of clothes and a coffee percolator strapped to the back of his motorbike) said "I want babies, I want to buy a house in the country, I will not sulk about things, I want to be with you.."

And here we are!

#9 queeniebird

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:36 AM

Countrymel! I love your story! You sound like a strong, determined woman who knows what she wants!

#10 MoonPie

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

After about 6 months together it became clear that no amount of me nagging was going to get him to kick the pot habit, so I walked away.

The day he came back claiming to be clean, I made him do a drug test. Passed with flying colours and we haven't looked back wub.gif

#11 JustBeige

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM

Oh damn CM, you just made me cry.  I wish we could all raise our girls to be so sure of what they deserve in life.  *sniff*



OP - Breaks can either be what needs to happen so you can be together long term, or what should happen so you can get your life back.

If you are having a break because one or both of you need to grow up a bit, then the possibility of you getting back together may be there as you may grow back together.

If there are inherent behaviours to a person that will have you stabbing them with a fork sooner rather than later, then leaving is the healthier thing to do emotionally.  

In the second instance its a good life lesson to take with you.  You have taught yourself to not just 'put up with it' just to be with anyone.  You have taught yourself that you as a person DO matter.

OP, have you looked at counselling for yourself or marriage counselling for both of you.  Sometimes, just an independant 3rd partys voice can help.

Edited by JustBeige, 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM.


#12 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

High profile example is Wills and Kate.



#13 EsmeLennox

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:55 AM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 14/12/2012, 06:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
High profile example is Wills and Kate.


Yes... Except I'm not sure that there was every a 'real' break there. I think it was more of a 'think it over' situation.



#14 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

DH and I dated for about 3 months then he broke up with me because he wanted "a serious relationship and I was not interested in commitment".

We remained friends. He went traveling around Australia and we missed each other. When he returned we hung out a lot and got back together. I realized not all men were out to change me and that commitment is not always a bad word. We married about 2 months later.

We love each other, but the best bit is that we actually have an awesome friendship which we developed while apart. He is a great DH, awesome dad and a fun person to be around. The break worked for us, but it was hard.

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:17 AM

CountryMel, I always love to read your story. It always brings tears to my eyes. I hope you get your baby soon.

DH and I took a weekend off from each other about 2 months in to the relationship. I felt like he was immature and didn't have enough drive. I went back to my home town and my friends slapped some sense into me. I think I was being immature and wanting a Hollywood romance.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

At 61, Shammi finally became a mum - then came the criticism

A 61-year-old woman has reignited debate around motherhood and when women are deemed "too old" to become mums after giving birth to a daughter seven months ago.

One mum's secret Mother's Day tradition after adopting her sons

Mother's Day is a time to celebrate all mums, and this mother has found a way to celebrate and appreciate her adopted sons' birth mothers each year.

5 things my wife needs to know before we have a third baby

My wife and I are just about to commit to a family of three children.

Is this the exercise of every tired parent's dream?

When you're a sleep-deprived parent, chances are you'll do almost anything for sweet, sweet, slumber. Would you pay for a nap, however?

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

Midwife fined $11,000 after having affair with dad-to-be

A midwife has been censured and ordered to pay $11,400 after admitting to having an affair with a client's husband.

Why should kids have all the sticker fun?

Stickers are a great little reward when kids have done something useful to encourage them to do it again.

Is this the cutest haka you've ever seen?

It is a war dance that people everywhere are familiar with, but this version of the Haka is one of the cutest you will ever see.

Groundbreaking surgery helps triplets born with rare condition

This little trio were world firsts twice in their first 9 weeks of life.

'I'd hate to see this happen to anyone else': mum's plea

Carly and Nathan Long are trying to raise awareness to save other parents going through the anguish they went through.

The smart phone game encouraging women to 'squeeeeze'

It's like Candy Crush for your pelvic floor. Hopefully, it will be just as addictive.

Why setting your alarm for 5.30am every day could be good for you

There's no doubt that Ashley French adores her children.

Watch the most important golf shot of this dad-to-be's life

Remember when parents used to be boring and just say, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" – as regular spoken words coming out of their mouths?

This newborn knows what he wants - and gets it

The astonished parents of a newborn whose 18-day-old bub is already feeding himself, shared a clip of their little one's feat to YouTube - and it's truly incredible viewing.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.