Jump to content

Have you ever had a break from your current relationship?
What was the outcome?


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 paula1

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:40 PM

Just wanting to hear from people who felt like they needed a break from their relationship for whatever reason.


If so what was the outcome? Were you able to work things out or was it basically the end?

I'm thinking along these lines at the moment, I've been with him for 2 years and there are some things that have not changed. He's a good person but if i leave things as they are I'm not happy and just feel like i'm settling.

Love to hear your experiences




#2 MARsmum

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

My DH and I had a break while we were dating.  We were together for about three years - on and off for a year (more off than on!) - and then back together for three years before we got married.  We have now been married for ten years!  We needed some time to work some things out for ourselves and now have a good relationship.  It is obviously not for everyone but for us it worked!

#3 Amy 1976

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

I'm only going to tell you about my personal experience and I acknowledge this may not be true for everyone.

I had a long relationship in my 20's. The relationship had problems, which we tried to overcome. We went on a break then got back together but all it did was prolong the inevitable breakup and make it harder on both of us.

So, in answer to your question, it's my opinion that if you go on a break, you may as well break up as the problems that you have are not going to disappear just by being apart.

I also know someone else who had a break then got back together and went on to get married and have children. They would be the first to admit that the relationship is a massive compromise and that given time over, she would not have got back together with him.

Good luck working things out.

#4 countrychic29

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

DH and I had a break while we were dating - we were teenagers though
3 years of dating ... a one month break turned into a 2 year break-up...back together 18months got engaged, married 2 years after. married for 6 years.
I have a lot of friends that have done this and i have seen it work (so far) about 60-70% of the time...
However
I dont believe anyone changes as such over the 'break' it is only if you realize that you love them enough to look past the things you dislike about them and you are both prepared to compromise otherwise (as i have seen first hand) you will end up breaking up for the same reasons further down the track..whether it be 6months or 6 years.


#5 Mummy fab

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

Me and hubby were together for about 8-9 years and had dd1 & 2, we were having some issues and separated for nearly a year. We now have a gorgeous 16 month old, another on the way (the last) and were married in December last year. For us it was the best thing we ever did. Of course we still have our issues but what relationship doesnt.

He can annoy the hell out of me at times, but he is a good father, provider, husband, friend etc etc and I couldn't imagine life with out him now.

#6 CountryBumpkin

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:22 PM

I had had breaks in past relationships, but I find that the issues are usually still there when you get back together anyway.

No breaks in this relationship, I hate being away from him!

#7 **Xena**

Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:36 PM

We did for a day when we first started going out but it was only due to the fact my ex waited outside his work and threatened to bash him with a metal pole.

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:30 AM

I left DP after about 4 years together to move to another state and take a career opportunity I couldn't miss.

He wasn't interested in babies and buying a house and I was - I had no interest in 'trying to change his mind' or to live with a quiet resentment that I couldn't so it was a perfect opportunity.

We stayed on the best of terms and conducted a 3 year 'holiday' affair.

On one of these holidays DP asked me to marry him, I said no, when he asked why I told him.. "This is what I want out of a marriage, this is what kind of behaviour I expect in a life long partner.."   he was pretty shocked and upset but I'm no fluffy little girl swayed from reality by the idea of a meringue dress and some printed stationary!

ABout 6 months later he arrived at my front door (with a bag of clothes and a coffee percolator strapped to the back of his motorbike) said "I want babies, I want to buy a house in the country, I will not sulk about things, I want to be with you.."

And here we are!

#9 queeniebird

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:36 AM

Countrymel! I love your story! You sound like a strong, determined woman who knows what she wants!

#10 MoonPie

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

After about 6 months together it became clear that no amount of me nagging was going to get him to kick the pot habit, so I walked away.

The day he came back claiming to be clean, I made him do a drug test. Passed with flying colours and we haven't looked back wub.gif

#11 JustBeige

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM

Oh damn CM, you just made me cry.  I wish we could all raise our girls to be so sure of what they deserve in life.  *sniff*



OP - Breaks can either be what needs to happen so you can be together long term, or what should happen so you can get your life back.

If you are having a break because one or both of you need to grow up a bit, then the possibility of you getting back together may be there as you may grow back together.

If there are inherent behaviours to a person that will have you stabbing them with a fork sooner rather than later, then leaving is the healthier thing to do emotionally.  

In the second instance its a good life lesson to take with you.  You have taught yourself to not just 'put up with it' just to be with anyone.  You have taught yourself that you as a person DO matter.

OP, have you looked at counselling for yourself or marriage counselling for both of you.  Sometimes, just an independant 3rd partys voice can help.

Edited by JustBeige, 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM.


#12 Isolabella

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

High profile example is Wills and Kate.



#13 EsmeLennox

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:55 AM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 14/12/2012, 06:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
High profile example is Wills and Kate.


Yes... Except I'm not sure that there was every a 'real' break there. I think it was more of a 'think it over' situation.



#14 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

DH and I dated for about 3 months then he broke up with me because he wanted "a serious relationship and I was not interested in commitment".

We remained friends. He went traveling around Australia and we missed each other. When he returned we hung out a lot and got back together. I realized not all men were out to change me and that commitment is not always a bad word. We married about 2 months later.

We love each other, but the best bit is that we actually have an awesome friendship which we developed while apart. He is a great DH, awesome dad and a fun person to be around. The break worked for us, but it was hard.

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:17 AM

CountryMel, I always love to read your story. It always brings tears to my eyes. I hope you get your baby soon.

DH and I took a weekend off from each other about 2 months in to the relationship. I felt like he was immature and didn't have enough drive. I went back to my home town and my friends slapped some sense into me. I think I was being immature and wanting a Hollywood romance.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

The science of 'hangry': why some people get grumpy when hungry

Where does hanger come from? And why is it that only some people seem to get hangry?

What a baby with whooping cough sounds like

It's a heartbreaking video that anyone who has ever considered not vaccinating against whooping cough must see.

Couple's million dollar bill for premmie baby born on holiday

An Australian couple could face a medical expenses of more than $1 million after their baby boy was born three months prematurely while they were holidaying in Hawaii.

What your child's drawings can tell you about their personality

Through their drawings, children can be classified into their dominant sensory modes - that is, if they could be classified as visual, tactile, taste/smell, or auditory.

Coffee a day to keep disease at bay

Don't be surprised if your morning brew does more than wake you up. There's more to this magical elixir than you might think.

Why Prince George has 'two different looks'

Days out from Prince George's second birthday, his parents' tendency to dress him in classical style clothing has been revealed as a cunning ploy.

Womb to world: transitioning your new baby

One minute they're contentedly snuggled in the sanctuary of their mum's tummy, and the next they arrive into an overwhelming reality of lights, cameras and action.

Husband films mum giving birth in moving car on freeway

An incredible birth video shows a mother delivering her own baby as her husband drives along a freeway in a vain attempt to reach hospital.

Breastfeeding while pregnant: is it safe?

Many women happily breastfeed well into pregnancy while others wean sooner; yet others continue to breastfeed both infants together. This is a personal choice.

Gadgets

iSperm: the iPad home fertility test for men

A new gadget uses a tiny microscope and the camera on an iPad to calculate sperm count and motility.

One day when I didn't know

Julia Watson, a mum of four young girls, was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in December 2013. She shares her latest blog piece with Essential Baby. 

The tiny twins who were strong from the start

I cried when a specialist told me at exactly 28 weeks that our twin boys would have to be born within 48 hours.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.