Jump to content

Have you ever had a break from your current relationship?
What was the outcome?


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 paula1

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:40 PM

Just wanting to hear from people who felt like they needed a break from their relationship for whatever reason.


If so what was the outcome? Were you able to work things out or was it basically the end?

I'm thinking along these lines at the moment, I've been with him for 2 years and there are some things that have not changed. He's a good person but if i leave things as they are I'm not happy and just feel like i'm settling.

Love to hear your experiences




#2 MARsmum

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

My DH and I had a break while we were dating.  We were together for about three years - on and off for a year (more off than on!) - and then back together for three years before we got married.  We have now been married for ten years!  We needed some time to work some things out for ourselves and now have a good relationship.  It is obviously not for everyone but for us it worked!

#3 Amy 1976

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

I'm only going to tell you about my personal experience and I acknowledge this may not be true for everyone.

I had a long relationship in my 20's. The relationship had problems, which we tried to overcome. We went on a break then got back together but all it did was prolong the inevitable breakup and make it harder on both of us.

So, in answer to your question, it's my opinion that if you go on a break, you may as well break up as the problems that you have are not going to disappear just by being apart.

I also know someone else who had a break then got back together and went on to get married and have children. They would be the first to admit that the relationship is a massive compromise and that given time over, she would not have got back together with him.

Good luck working things out.

#4 countrychic29

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

DH and I had a break while we were dating - we were teenagers though
3 years of dating ... a one month break turned into a 2 year break-up...back together 18months got engaged, married 2 years after. married for 6 years.
I have a lot of friends that have done this and i have seen it work (so far) about 60-70% of the time...
However
I dont believe anyone changes as such over the 'break' it is only if you realize that you love them enough to look past the things you dislike about them and you are both prepared to compromise otherwise (as i have seen first hand) you will end up breaking up for the same reasons further down the track..whether it be 6months or 6 years.


#5 Mummy fab

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

Me and hubby were together for about 8-9 years and had dd1 & 2, we were having some issues and separated for nearly a year. We now have a gorgeous 16 month old, another on the way (the last) and were married in December last year. For us it was the best thing we ever did. Of course we still have our issues but what relationship doesnt.

He can annoy the hell out of me at times, but he is a good father, provider, husband, friend etc etc and I couldn't imagine life with out him now.

#6 CountryBumpkin

Posted 13 December 2012 - 02:22 PM

I had had breaks in past relationships, but I find that the issues are usually still there when you get back together anyway.

No breaks in this relationship, I hate being away from him!

#7 **Xena**

Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:36 PM

We did for a day when we first started going out but it was only due to the fact my ex waited outside his work and threatened to bash him with a metal pole.

#8 CountryFeral

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:30 AM

I left DP after about 4 years together to move to another state and take a career opportunity I couldn't miss.

He wasn't interested in babies and buying a house and I was - I had no interest in 'trying to change his mind' or to live with a quiet resentment that I couldn't so it was a perfect opportunity.

We stayed on the best of terms and conducted a 3 year 'holiday' affair.

On one of these holidays DP asked me to marry him, I said no, when he asked why I told him.. "This is what I want out of a marriage, this is what kind of behaviour I expect in a life long partner.."   he was pretty shocked and upset but I'm no fluffy little girl swayed from reality by the idea of a meringue dress and some printed stationary!

ABout 6 months later he arrived at my front door (with a bag of clothes and a coffee percolator strapped to the back of his motorbike) said "I want babies, I want to buy a house in the country, I will not sulk about things, I want to be with you.."

And here we are!

#9 queeniebird

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:36 AM

Countrymel! I love your story! You sound like a strong, determined woman who knows what she wants!

#10 MoonPie

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

After about 6 months together it became clear that no amount of me nagging was going to get him to kick the pot habit, so I walked away.

The day he came back claiming to be clean, I made him do a drug test. Passed with flying colours and we haven't looked back wub.gif

#11 JustBeige

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM

Oh damn CM, you just made me cry.  I wish we could all raise our girls to be so sure of what they deserve in life.  *sniff*



OP - Breaks can either be what needs to happen so you can be together long term, or what should happen so you can get your life back.

If you are having a break because one or both of you need to grow up a bit, then the possibility of you getting back together may be there as you may grow back together.

If there are inherent behaviours to a person that will have you stabbing them with a fork sooner rather than later, then leaving is the healthier thing to do emotionally.  

In the second instance its a good life lesson to take with you.  You have taught yourself to not just 'put up with it' just to be with anyone.  You have taught yourself that you as a person DO matter.

OP, have you looked at counselling for yourself or marriage counselling for both of you.  Sometimes, just an independant 3rd partys voice can help.

Edited by JustBeige, 14 December 2012 - 08:43 AM.


#12 IsolaBella

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

High profile example is Wills and Kate.



#13 EsmeLennox

Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:55 AM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 14/12/2012, 06:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
High profile example is Wills and Kate.


Yes... Except I'm not sure that there was every a 'real' break there. I think it was more of a 'think it over' situation.



#14 vitaechel

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

DH and I dated for about 3 months then he broke up with me because he wanted "a serious relationship and I was not interested in commitment".

We remained friends. He went traveling around Australia and we missed each other. When he returned we hung out a lot and got back together. I realized not all men were out to change me and that commitment is not always a bad word. We married about 2 months later.

We love each other, but the best bit is that we actually have an awesome friendship which we developed while apart. He is a great DH, awesome dad and a fun person to be around. The break worked for us, but it was hard.

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 14 December 2012 - 09:17 AM

CountryMel, I always love to read your story. It always brings tears to my eyes. I hope you get your baby soon.

DH and I took a weekend off from each other about 2 months in to the relationship. I felt like he was immature and didn't have enough drive. I went back to my home town and my friends slapped some sense into me. I think I was being immature and wanting a Hollywood romance.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.