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Would you let your son wear pink zebra print shoes to his first day of preschool?

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#1 EBKatie

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:03 AM

A five-year-old American boy was allowed to do just that but his mother was shocked by the reaction she received from family when she posted a photo of him in the shoes to her Facebook page. The photo has since gone viral and sparked a heated debate online.

Would you allow your child to wear something that you thought would get them bullied or would you encourage them to express themselves no matter the cost?

#2 kpingitquiet

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:27 AM

If kids are getting bullied in preschool for damn shoes, then there are bigger issues. I am so sick of this. It is 50% possible that our next child will be a boy. Our existing child is a girl. I never questioned putting my daughter in red and black dinosaur clothes from the boys dept or blue tennis shoes. Why would I blink if my son wanted rainbows and pink polkadots? I am just so damned sick of it all. Get over it, people. If your kid or grandchild or some random stranger's child is gay it's nothing to do with what colors they wear. But wtg on setting them up for self-doubt, self-hate, regardless of what their orientation turns out to be

#3 Bluenomi

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:43 AM

Wouldn't bother me. I was the story yesterday and thought it was cute he picked them because they were zebra print and he loves zebras.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:53 AM

Yes. Really other people need to get over their own issues and stop caring about what other people wear. I would probably explain to my DS that he might get teased as some people are narrow minded and let him decide if he'd still like to wear them. I wouldn't disallow him wanting to wear a pair of shoes.

#5 vanessa71

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:55 AM

I wouldn't send him in shoes like that, as they would not be the style of shoe we would look for when buying shoes, however DS went to kinder in a pink shirt a few days ago.

#6 muminbusiness

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:55 AM

Totally and utterly would let him! My master five loves his pink sparkly ballet dress. He adores his sister putting nail polish on him. Plus he loves doing "guy" stuff to:)

#7 JustBeige

Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:56 AM

My first thought was "Of course I would" but when I actually thought in true terms and not what should happen.

honestly, no I probably wouldnt.  I have no problem with them personally - my son had lots of pink stuff as a younger child and still has a pink teddy - but I think its my job to keep them safe and one of those ways is to not knowingly make them the target of ridicule.   I think this is a time and place thing.

*not saying its OK the way society is, just saying that we need to live within this society and children are in no way equiped to deal with bullying and ridicule at this age - hell at any age*

Edited by JustBeige, 13 December 2012 - 11:00 AM.

#8 JustOneMorePlease

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:10 AM

No I wouldn't. I might after he had been for awhile but not on his first day. Unfortunately wether we like it or not kids pick on each other. i would hate for him to be targeted because of his shoes. I would let him go a few times and if he feels comfortable after that he could wear them if he wanted to.

#9 LookMumNoHands

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:11 AM

Yes, I would.

Not too long ago, DS was going through some stuff his great Nanna was sending to the OP shop, and came across some (really garish!) beaded necklaces. She said he could have them, and he wore them all to kinder the following day. The next day, two of his mates had come to kinder with necklaces on too, to be like my DS  tthumbs.gif

#10 #tootired

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:15 AM

I let my 5yo DS whatever he wants to kinder. I can't be bothered with the arguments every kinder morning!

Can't wait til he has to wear a uniform next year, so he doesn't have to waste time choosing what to wear!

#11 auntpriscilla

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:17 AM

I wouldn't, but I wouldn't let my DD wear shoes like that to school, either. They are not suitable shoes for school, IMO (and against our school's shoe guidelines).

#12 Bunsen the feral

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:18 AM

Not those particular shoes as they are not practical for preschool - I wouldn't buy them for a girl either - but DS's favourite colours are pink and purple so he has lots of clothes in those colours and is getting purple shoes for Christmas.

#13 laridae

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:22 AM

I wouldn't - but not because of the colour or pattern.  Simply because they are not suitable shoes for wearing to school.

#14 Gossipgirl

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:22 AM

I will get flamed but no I would not let my son wear those shoes to preschool yes of course I want my son to wear what he likes and choose what he likes but that's me and society have not caught up yet and there is no way I would send him out in pink shoes I would be setting him up for bullying even though I think its wrong and he should express himself in his own way I can't knowingly let him go into a situation that I know he will be bullied for.

#15 Fluster

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:25 AM

Not a chance.  My fifteen year old could wear whatever they damn please, but the job of a 5 year old's parent is to protect them.  You can get into challenging society's prejudices a bit later.

#16 EBeditor

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:31 AM

What is interesting is that he was not harassed or bullied at all (by the children at least!)

#17 niggles

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:34 AM

I wouldn't let either of my kids go to school in an outfit that clashes like that, or in shoes not suitable for climbing and running around in. So no to those shoes. But that said my DD doesn't usually care too much about what she wears so I do most of the choosing, or at least presenting of options. I'd probably answer differently if my child had a strong preference.

#18 niggles

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:39 AM

QUOTE (taranicole @ 13/12/2012, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Although I feel very strongly about avoiding gender stereotypes I don't think being gender-neutral is the answer either. I think kids should be free to be themselves (and that means wearing pink shoes if need be) but that boys should also allowed to be masculine if that's who they are and girls should also be allowed to be feminine if that's who they are. Encouraging complete gender-neutrality results in children feeling they need to deny who they are, their masculinity or femininity, to be more, well, neutral.

But who gets to decide what is 'masculine' and what is 'feminine'? I don't think being gender neutral in that context is about suppressing your interests, it's about not assigning interests to a masculine or feminine persona. There is nothing inherently masculine about wheels and building. There is nothing inherently feminine in flowers and ironing.

#19 Feral Becky

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

QUOTE (Fluster @ 13/12/2012, 11:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not a chance.  My fifteen year old could wear whatever they damn please, but the job of a 5 year old's parent is to protect them.  You can get into challenging society's prejudices a bit later.

I would like to say the EB PC response but no, I would try to talk my boy out of wearing those shoes.

#20 Hayleymumof3

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

I knew a mum once who always dressed her baby boy in pink...so that people would assume he was a girl and she could use it as an opportunity to rant about gender stereotypes.

I dressed DD1 in blue on a couple of occasions and corrected people when they were wrong "Oh what a beautiful boy" me Nope girl.  I got into trouble from one little old lady.

Yet after DD2 was born I took her into DH's work to show her off she was dressed in a PINK suit, with pink socks and had a pink blanket and got told what a beautiful boy he was wacko.gif .  When I said Umm He is a girl, I was told "how was I suppose to know".

#21 FaithHopeLove

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:48 AM

I was watching QI a couple of months ago and discovered that baby boys used to be dressed in pink and girls blue as red was seen as the more passionate and strong colour and therefore was seen as masculine while blue was seen as more sedate and calm so feminine.

#22 ~chiquita~

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:51 AM

QUOTE (LindsayMK @ 13/12/2012, 12:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would like to say the EB PC response but no, I would try to talk my boy out of wearing those shoes.

This. I also don't think they're suitable for preschool.

#23 HeartMyBoys

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:52 AM

I would let my son wear pink shoes at home if he really wanted to, but i wouldn't let him wear them to kindy. I remember when my eldest used to go to daycare he would always play with a pink pram. As far as clothing though, i would'nt send my son anywhere in a dress or skirt.........or very girly shoes unsure.gif
Saying that, if i saw a boy at kindy with girly shoes i certainly wouldn't think anything of it, or talk about it negatively.

#24 casime

Posted 13 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

I wouldn't, but that's because school has a uniform and they aren't part of it.  Aside from that, they aren't suitable for school for running around and playing in.  He could wear them to the shops all he likes, but not to school.

#25 tel2

Posted 13 December 2012 - 12:56 PM

If they were pink unisex shoes (eg Converse Allstars, Dr Marten boots etc...) I would think about it, but if they were clearly girls shoes (like these zebra ones are) - No.

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