Jump to content

If someone told you the gift you bought for someone else
Was not what that person wanted


  • Please log in to reply
44 replies to this topic

#1 TopsyTurvy

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:16 AM

My SIL has gone and bought DH (her brother) a book for Christmas that I know he will never read.

To be honest she always gets his gifts way off mark.  He had very little time for reading and hobbies and his main passion is music.  He has repeatedly stated himself to her just to buy him a JB or sanity voucher as he loves to go hunting for music to add to his collection.  It's time out for him and he gets a massive kick out of finding bargains and music that fills gaps in his collection.

Her reason for not giving him a voucher is "she hates giving vouchers" so instead of giving him a gift that will give immense enjoyment she gets him something that to him makes him feel that she doesn't care about him.

Stupidly she will give vouchers for services ie; I am getting a pedicure voucher.

So would you say anything?
Gift limit is $30 and I am happy to buy DH a gift voucher myself to give to her to give to him so it doesn't cost her any more.

WDYT?

#2 titch482

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:22 AM

i would leave it be, her choice what gifts she chooses to buy people, and i think ti will cause more stress than its worth by giving her a voicher to give to him.

if he is going to get a voucher from you or other family members anyway then does it realy matter?

#3 jmaz86

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:23 AM

Personally, I would not say anything...a gift is a gift, receive it with good thanks. I also hate giving gift vouchers for christmas...unless there is really no other option. I dont really care what people do with the gifts I buy after they take them home (its the thought that counts)...just dont give it back to me on another occasion.


#4 Three Of Hearts

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:26 AM

I'd leave it.  It's not a majorly expensive gift anyway.  If she was about to waste hundreds of dollars on a gift he didn't like/want then I'd say something.

DH's family are shocking gift givers.  DH gets sunscreen, jocks and woolworths 4c fuel vouchers from his family.  He doesn't really want any of it but just smiles and says thanks.  He knows they don't really 'get' him but it doesn't bother him that much original.gif

Edited by Allie_D, 13 December 2012 - 08:26 AM.


#5 JustBeige

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:27 AM

I think you need to stay out of it.

Its stupid crap between a brother and sister and if you say something you will be seen as the interferring inlaw.

The only other avenue I would consider is their mum.  I have had to do this to my SIL once when she just would not listen to me about a gift for the kids (she was doubling up on something we had already gotten and expected us to take ours back)

If their mum isnt the type of person to have influence or get involved then I would just leave it.

I would probably get him an extra JB voucher so he can go spoil himself though.    If the book is completely unsuitable and only a dust collector,  I would sell the book on ebay or FB and he can use that money too.

#6 TopsyTurvy

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:29 AM

Would it be rude to ask for the receipt? ph34r.gif

#7 Oriental lily

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:31 AM

No I would not.
Thoughtful or thoughtless ultimately Christmas tradition of gift giving should not be an 'order'.

What's the point of the whole exercise if people get to choose what they receive.? Op your sil would have asked if she wanted guidance.

For whatever reason your sil thinks your DH will enjoy this book. Maybe he will?

Edited by Oriental lily, 13 December 2012 - 08:33 AM.


#8 monkeys mum

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:32 AM

If you know where she got it from just return it after Christmas.

I hate giving vouchers too, but know dps brothers are hard to buy for so they get vouchers.

#9 rabbit hyde

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:32 AM

It's a gift, you accept them graciously and go on with your day.

If she'd asked for your input previously then sure - suggest away.  But at the end of the day if your DH wants albums from JB HIFI then you or him can go buy them yourselves.

Maybe focus less on what you will be receiving, and concentrate more on what you will be giving.

#10 JustBeige

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:34 AM

QUOTE (TopsyTurvy @ 13/12/2012, 09:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would it be rude to ask for the receipt? ph34r.gif

lol, depends on the family.  Etiquette wise. yes it would.

In my family we often give the receipt in another envelope in case something breaks or is the wrong size - mum goes so far as to just leaves the tags on and takes off the cost.

If you know where she brought it from, then you should be able to return it without a receipt but you would end up with a store credit.



#11 Soontobegran

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:34 AM

Has he actually said to her I do not read rather than saying I'd prefer a voucher? I would never buy a book for someone who has told me they never read and would presume that others would be the same unless she was intentionally trying to be difficult?

It is a tricky situation and hard to know why she's doing this without knowing the dynamics of their relationship and whether she is actually quite clear on his hate for books.

Perhaps accept the book, sell it on Gumtree and then sit down and have a family discussion before next Christmas because if there is no malice intended then it may just make what could be a special time uncomfortable.

#12 ALittleBitter

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:36 AM

She's told you she doesn't want to give him a voucher, so stay out of it. If she was giving something really inappropriate or expensive I might try and change her mind, but its just a book!

#13 Queen Yoda

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:38 AM

QUOTE (20%Cooler @ 13/12/2012, 08:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Say nothing. Accept with thanks.
Sell the book on ebay. (or return back to store where bought, if known)
Buy the voucher yourself.
If SIL asks if he liked the book, say "no, he I sold it on ebay to buy a music shop voucher...you know he doesn't I don't read much and much prefers music".
Hopefully then it may sink in.

agree with this.  But if it's that big a deal to your DH, let him do the legwork.  It's not your call.  If he would prefer to sell the book and use the money towards buying music, let him arrange to do that.  And he should be the one to tell his sister, not you.

You've told her what he would like.  It's not your responsibility to "fix" this.

#14 niggles

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:43 AM

If someone offered to rebuy the present I'd bought for someone I'd be a little put out. Leave it alone. He can always regift the book if he wants to.

#15 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:45 AM

My sister in law does this.....

She gave me a cheapo bath body pack last year and huge cupcake mould. I just smiled and said thanks. I later regifted them, but it hurt a bit because I really put a lot of time into we got her and I knew it was something that she wanted.


This year???

We aren't buying anyone anything apart from our little family. It's nothing personal but I just don't want the crap that comes with Christmas.

#16 Therese

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:49 AM

Just leave it. Smile and accept the gift when it is given.

#17 Soontobegran

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (ParadiseAlly @ 13/12/2012, 09:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My sister in law does this.....

She gave me a cheapo bath body pack last year and huge cupcake mould. I just smiled and said thanks. I later regifted them, but it hurt a bit because I really put a lot of time into we got her and I knew it was something that she wanted.


This is funny, you regifted a cheapo bath pack and cupcake mould to someone else. I wonder if they in turn have also regifted it.
It could be the gift that keeps on giving. original.gif

#18 50ftqueenie

Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:59 AM

If his sister buys him books year after year and he never reads them, it's up to him to decide what he would like to do. I don't see how this is even remotely your problem.  



#19 dogsneaker

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:03 AM

She's told you she's not into giving vouchers and has decided to buy him a book. Her decision to make, after all it is her gift to give.

What business is it of yours to interfere? I would see you as the meddling in-law.

Edited by dogsneaker, 13 December 2012 - 10:30 AM.


#20 Riotproof

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:08 AM

QUOTE (TopsyTurvy @ 13/12/2012, 09:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would it be rude to ask for the receipt? ph34r.gif

Yes. Why do you care so much anyway?
I could understand if she was being malicious, but it doesn't sound like that.

#21 lizzzard

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:13 AM

QUOTE (50ftqueenie @ 13/12/2012, 08:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't see how this is even remotely your problem.

This!!

#22 Bluenomi

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:15 AM

Just regift it back to her. If she bought it, she must like it right?  biggrin.gif

#23 auntpriscilla

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:38 AM

Deleted

Edited by Willoughby Chase, 30 December 2012 - 10:18 PM.


#24 *LucyE*

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:48 AM

My SIL liked to buy us books as gifts.  It wasn't books she thought we'd enjoy, but rather to 'educate' us (being the uneducated bogans we are).  We just accepted it graciously and it got added to the bookshelf of other unread books she's gifted us.

We stopped doing present exchanges between adults so the books have stopped.  I stayed out of it because it really is between the siblings.

#25 vanessa71

Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:57 AM

It's none of your business, just stay out of it. So what if your DH gets a gift he won't use, he is not the only one, there will many people in that position.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

What not to say to a new mum

Some phrases just pop out before you really think about them, but there are some things you should try to not say to a new mum.

Why I'm glad to be an indulgent granny

The phone calls started a couple of weeks ago. At about 5.30 each evening - if I am lucky - I will be greeted by a sweet, excited voice declaring: "'Allo Annie".

Is this the worst relationship advice ever published?

You sometimes have to wonder whether relationship/sex advice from magazines is designed to help or humiliate.

How you talk to your baby now can impact social skills later

People used to think that social skills were something kids were born with, not taught.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Scientists predict when you should start a family

Scientists have calculated at exactly what age you need to start trying to get pregnant to have the best chance of realising your dream. 

Differently abled child

When 'protecting' a child is really a cover for judgement

Why are people so concerned for this happy child and his mother?

When toddlers have strange obsessions

When it comes to two-year-olds and birthday cakes there are a few requests that are usually at the top of the list. But a cake featuring a local personal injury lawyer?

When Mama Bear strikes

When we become mums, our instinct to protect our children and keep them safe from harm is so strong we're often likened to a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.  

Immunity boosters for kids

There are no guaranteed ways to avoid the dreaded winter illnesses completely, but there are ways we can boost our children's immunity.

Mum shares portrait of her proudly breastfeeding three-year-old

Jade Beall usually chooses to breastfeed her son, now 3, in private. This week, however, she shared portraits of her breastfeeding her preschooler.

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.