Jump to content

would you let your child go on a long drive with someone else driving?


  • Please log in to reply
55 replies to this topic

#1 imamumto3

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:10 PM

ds has been invited to a birthday party which is being held at a fun park about 3 hours drive away.

i know the mother well but have never met the father.  the mother had said that they will drive ds to the party.  the problem is the father will be driving.  I know he has been caught for speeding several times and now drives a sports car.

I told dh that I don't feel comfortable with ds driving with the father and would rather drive him ourselves, especially because it is such a long way.   dh thinks I'm crazy and should just let them drive him.  WDYT, I'm I being over protective?

#2 R2B2

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

If you don't feel comfortable with the situation, don't send your DS.
if I felt unsure, i'd politely decline and take him myself, or offer to take their child along instead wink.gif

Edited by R2B2, 12 December 2012 - 01:13 PM.


#3 ThatsNotMyName

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:14 PM

I would be very uneasy about that. It may be perfectly fine but without knowing the individual I wouldn't be able to be comfortable about it & would find a way to take him myself.

#4 seayork2002

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:15 PM

Whats is the difference between a long and short drive? the child is still in a car in a car seat

#5 Bel Rowley

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:17 PM

I can think of all sorts of people I would trust to drive my kids, but if you don't trust this guy, that's enough reason to say no.

#6 bearmum

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

I have a very VERY limited group of people I would allow to drive my children. It is nice of that family to offer your child a lift but I would politely decline somehow and drive him myself. There is zero chance I would let my son go in someone else's car in that circumstance.

But my DH and his family think me and my family are uptight original.gif

#7 zingy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:26 PM

I wouldn't be OK with this.

Always listen to your gut.

#8 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

The deciding factor for me would be to trust your instincts. If you do not feel comfortable then, as others have said,politely decline and drive him yourself.

#9 jill1972

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:42 PM

No I'd be freaking out all day till he got safely home.  Some people are quite ok about this sort of stuff, but I'm not one of them.


_____________

#10 HurryUpAlready

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

Trust your gut and drive him yourself.

Years ago, a mother my family knows trusted her gut and chose not to let her child travel in the car of a friend when both families were holidaying together. That decision most likely saved her child's life. The family of 4 in the other car died in a horrific car accident.

It was so sad, but there could have been 5 dead that day if it wasn't for that mum listening to her gut.

I'm listening to my gut at the moment on another issue. A new friend of my husband has had us over to his home (with his wife) a couple of times for a meal. He is a very nice man and his Thai wife (who couldn't have children of her own) just loves our 10 month old to bits.

They have repeatedly offered to mind DD (they know we have no family to help), but there is just *something* about the guy that has my mummy instincts on high alert and consequently, I'll never leave DD with them. I have absolutely no basis to think anything negative about this man, he does seem very nice & generous. Maybe he seems to like DD a but too much for a 50
year old man and that just seemed a bit "off" to me (I'd never let him know I think this way - he might be a genuinely nice guy who loves kids).

I don't know, but it's just another example of a gut instinct that sometimes we can't explain, but I think we should listen to.



#11 Jembo

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.

#12 seayork2002

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

Why are your families driving better/safer than other people's?


QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/12/2012, 02:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.



#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:06 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 12/12/2012, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can think of all sorts of people I would trust to drive my kids, but if you don't trust this guy, that's enough reason to say no.

This. It doesn't matter if the drive is short/long, the person is family/not - if I trust them to drive with my children, fine. If I don't trust them, then they don't drive my children.

#14 jill1972

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:08 PM

QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/12/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.



This made me giggle to myself as there isn't one family member of mine who's driving makes me feel safe!


____________

#15 Ireckon

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

My brother had a fair few driving related fines when he was younger. He is now 31, and I have let him take my DS on a 7 hr drive. I think he got all the stupid out of the way early on, and is very responsible now.

Having said that, if I thought he was still driving like he used to, I would say thanks but no thanks. If you are not comfortable with this man driving your child, then perhaps tie the trip in with a lovely day trip you and DH have been waiting for AGES to take.




#16 roses99

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:13 PM

No, I wouldn't do it.

Trust your instincts.

Aside from anything else, driving a bunch of excitable kids can be pretty distracting.

#17 zande

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

QUOTE
Why are your families driving better/safer than other people's?

They may not be necessarily, but at least I know my family's driving abilities. This is one area I am uptight about. My DD2 has never been in a car not driven by myself or my DH except for my mum, and then it's only short distances.

DD1 (9yo) I am slowly getting used to her being in other people's cars but it's generally only locally and short distances, and I still don't like it.

I know other people don't take car safety anywhere near as seriously as me, so I don't like other people driving my girls.

#18 Starrydawn

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

I would. I use to get driven by lots of people. An accident can happen when your backing out your own driveway.

Many people have speeding fines at some stage. If ou don't want too drive him yourself. But hey you could have an accident and this guy makes it safely.




#19 Hattie

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:21 PM

No, I wouldn't. My DS has only ever been in a car driven by me, DH, my brother and my best mate. And that will remain the case for the forseeable future, mainly because I am the neurotic mother of a very precious only child and I have issues with the way lots of people drive, including family members snd friends.

Cheers,
Julie

#20 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:24 PM

Wouldn't be worth the stress to me, if knew were going to worry for the whole day. Why don't you take him?

#21 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

QUOTE (imamumto3 @ 12/12/2012, 01:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ds has been invited to a birthday party which is being held at a fun park about 3 hours drive away.

i know the mother well but have never met the father.  the mother had said that they will drive ds to the party.  the problem is the father will be driving. I know he has been caught for speeding several times and now drives a sports car.

I told dh that I don't feel comfortable with ds driving with the father and would rather drive him ourselves, especially because it is such a long way.   dh thinks I'm crazy and should just let them drive him.  WDYT, I'm I being over protective?

the sports car thing wouldn't register with me, but the speeding fines would probably raise a flag.  If I knew this, I'd probably volunteer to drive my own child.  A day out for everyone.  But that is a long drive for a kids birthday party!

HOWEVER, chances that most people know the exact driving histories for the parents of their children's friends is probably low.  If I didn't know otherwise and for all intents and purposes the parents had always displayed safe and responsible actions around their own children and mine and my child felt safe and comfortable with them, then I'd probably say yes without thinking much about it. I assume we're talking older kids here?

#22 steppy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

Yes I would, but then, the kid's own mother was such a terrible driver that it was hard to imagine anyone being more dangerous.

#23 imamumto3

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 12/12/2012, 03:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the sports car thing wouldn't register with me, but the speeding fines would probably raise a flag.  If I knew this, I'd probably volunteer to drive my own child.  A day out for everyone.  But that is a long drive for a kids birthday party!

HOWEVER, chances that most people know the exact driving histories for the parents of their children's friends is probably low.  If I didn't know otherwise and for all intents and purposes the parents had always displayed safe and responsible actions around their own children and mine and my child felt safe and comfortable with them, then I'd probably say yes without thinking much about it. I assume we're talking older kids here?

ds is 7

#24 No-pants Agnodice

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 12/12/2012, 02:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Trust your gut and drive him yourself.

Years ago, a mother my family knows trusted her gut and chose not to let her child travel in the car of a friend when both families were holidaying together. That decision most likely saved her child's life. The family of 4 in the other car died in a horrific car accident.

It was so sad, but there could have been 5 dead that day if it wasn't for that mum listening to her gut.

I'm listening to my gut at the moment on another issue. A new friend of my husband has had us over to his home (with his wife) a couple of times for a meal. He is a very nice man and his Thai wife (who couldn't have children of her own) just loves our 10 month old to bits.

They have repeatedly offered to mind DD (they know we have no family to help), but there is just *something* about the guy that has my mummy instincts on high alert and consequently, I'll never leave DD with them. I have absolutely no basis to think anything negative about this man, he does seem very nice & generous. Maybe he seems to like DD a but too much for a 50
year old man and that just seemed a bit "off" to me (I'd never let him know I think this way - he might be a genuinely nice guy who loves kids).

I don't know, but it's just another example of a gut instinct that sometimes we can't explain, but I think we should listen to.


Now here is a load of offensive baloney.

Lets be clear that freak accidents can happen to anyone. And not many men are paedophiles.

QUOTE (Chedasha @ 12/12/2012, 03:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would. I use to get driven by lots of people. An accident can happen when your backing out your own driveway.

Many people have speeding fines at some stage. If ou don't want too drive him yourself. But hey you could have an accident and this guy makes it safely.


This.


OP, how old is your son? I'd be more concerned about how this family will manage a large group at a theme park than the drive.

Everyone gets speeding fines. I have gotten four, all for doing 64 in a 60 zone. i'm not excusing my behaviour, and i do think 'wipe off five' is important, but there's a big difference between being 4 over the linit and 50 over the limit.

And sports cars are an indicator of wealth, not driving ability.

Lets be clear that this issue is about what YOU are comfortable with, not necessarily the objective safety of the situation.

#25 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (MsN @ 12/12/2012, 02:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd be more concerned about how this family will manage a large group at a theme park than the drive.

I agree that I'd be thinking more about that than the transport options.  For that reason alone, I'd ask the parents if they wanted an extra set of hands on the day, particularly with a bunch of excited 7yo boys.

Still think that is a long way for birthday party for a 7 yo.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win Coles Little Explorer nappies for your toddler

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

'Why we called our daughter Wyatt'

Ashton Kutcher has spoken about how he and Mila Kunis chose their daughter's name - and why they've set up her social media accounts.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.