Jump to content

would you let your child go on a long drive with someone else driving?


  • Please log in to reply
55 replies to this topic

#1 imamumto3

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:10 PM

ds has been invited to a birthday party which is being held at a fun park about 3 hours drive away.

i know the mother well but have never met the father.  the mother had said that they will drive ds to the party.  the problem is the father will be driving.  I know he has been caught for speeding several times and now drives a sports car.

I told dh that I don't feel comfortable with ds driving with the father and would rather drive him ourselves, especially because it is such a long way.   dh thinks I'm crazy and should just let them drive him.  WDYT, I'm I being over protective?

#2 R2B2

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

If you don't feel comfortable with the situation, don't send your DS.
if I felt unsure, i'd politely decline and take him myself, or offer to take their child along instead wink.gif

Edited by R2B2, 12 December 2012 - 01:13 PM.


#3 ThatsNotMyName

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:14 PM

I would be very uneasy about that. It may be perfectly fine but without knowing the individual I wouldn't be able to be comfortable about it & would find a way to take him myself.

#4 seayork2002

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:15 PM

Whats is the difference between a long and short drive? the child is still in a car in a car seat

#5 Bel Rowley

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:17 PM

I can think of all sorts of people I would trust to drive my kids, but if you don't trust this guy, that's enough reason to say no.

#6 bearmum

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

I have a very VERY limited group of people I would allow to drive my children. It is nice of that family to offer your child a lift but I would politely decline somehow and drive him myself. There is zero chance I would let my son go in someone else's car in that circumstance.

But my DH and his family think me and my family are uptight original.gif

#7 zingy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:26 PM

I wouldn't be OK with this.

Always listen to your gut.

#8 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

The deciding factor for me would be to trust your instincts. If you do not feel comfortable then, as others have said,politely decline and drive him yourself.

#9 jill1972

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:42 PM

No I'd be freaking out all day till he got safely home.  Some people are quite ok about this sort of stuff, but I'm not one of them.


_____________

#10 HurryUpAlready

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

Trust your gut and drive him yourself.

Years ago, a mother my family knows trusted her gut and chose not to let her child travel in the car of a friend when both families were holidaying together. That decision most likely saved her child's life. The family of 4 in the other car died in a horrific car accident.

It was so sad, but there could have been 5 dead that day if it wasn't for that mum listening to her gut.

I'm listening to my gut at the moment on another issue. A new friend of my husband has had us over to his home (with his wife) a couple of times for a meal. He is a very nice man and his Thai wife (who couldn't have children of her own) just loves our 10 month old to bits.

They have repeatedly offered to mind DD (they know we have no family to help), but there is just *something* about the guy that has my mummy instincts on high alert and consequently, I'll never leave DD with them. I have absolutely no basis to think anything negative about this man, he does seem very nice & generous. Maybe he seems to like DD a but too much for a 50
year old man and that just seemed a bit "off" to me (I'd never let him know I think this way - he might be a genuinely nice guy who loves kids).

I don't know, but it's just another example of a gut instinct that sometimes we can't explain, but I think we should listen to.



#11 Jembo

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.

#12 seayork2002

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

Why are your families driving better/safer than other people's?


QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/12/2012, 02:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.



#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:06 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 12/12/2012, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can think of all sorts of people I would trust to drive my kids, but if you don't trust this guy, that's enough reason to say no.

This. It doesn't matter if the drive is short/long, the person is family/not - if I trust them to drive with my children, fine. If I don't trust them, then they don't drive my children.

#14 jill1972

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:08 PM

QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/12/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.



This made me giggle to myself as there isn't one family member of mine who's driving makes me feel safe!


____________

#15 Ireckon

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

My brother had a fair few driving related fines when he was younger. He is now 31, and I have let him take my DS on a 7 hr drive. I think he got all the stupid out of the way early on, and is very responsible now.

Having said that, if I thought he was still driving like he used to, I would say thanks but no thanks. If you are not comfortable with this man driving your child, then perhaps tie the trip in with a lovely day trip you and DH have been waiting for AGES to take.




#16 roses99

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:13 PM

No, I wouldn't do it.

Trust your instincts.

Aside from anything else, driving a bunch of excitable kids can be pretty distracting.

#17 zande

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

QUOTE
Why are your families driving better/safer than other people's?

They may not be necessarily, but at least I know my family's driving abilities. This is one area I am uptight about. My DD2 has never been in a car not driven by myself or my DH except for my mum, and then it's only short distances.

DD1 (9yo) I am slowly getting used to her being in other people's cars but it's generally only locally and short distances, and I still don't like it.

I know other people don't take car safety anywhere near as seriously as me, so I don't like other people driving my girls.

#18 Starrydawn

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

I would. I use to get driven by lots of people. An accident can happen when your backing out your own driveway.

Many people have speeding fines at some stage. If ou don't want too drive him yourself. But hey you could have an accident and this guy makes it safely.




#19 Hattie

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:21 PM

No, I wouldn't. My DS has only ever been in a car driven by me, DH, my brother and my best mate. And that will remain the case for the forseeable future, mainly because I am the neurotic mother of a very precious only child and I have issues with the way lots of people drive, including family members snd friends.

Cheers,
Julie

#20 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:24 PM

Wouldn't be worth the stress to me, if knew were going to worry for the whole day. Why don't you take him?

#21 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

QUOTE (imamumto3 @ 12/12/2012, 01:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ds has been invited to a birthday party which is being held at a fun park about 3 hours drive away.

i know the mother well but have never met the father.  the mother had said that they will drive ds to the party.  the problem is the father will be driving. I know he has been caught for speeding several times and now drives a sports car.

I told dh that I don't feel comfortable with ds driving with the father and would rather drive him ourselves, especially because it is such a long way.   dh thinks I'm crazy and should just let them drive him.  WDYT, I'm I being over protective?

the sports car thing wouldn't register with me, but the speeding fines would probably raise a flag.  If I knew this, I'd probably volunteer to drive my own child.  A day out for everyone.  But that is a long drive for a kids birthday party!

HOWEVER, chances that most people know the exact driving histories for the parents of their children's friends is probably low.  If I didn't know otherwise and for all intents and purposes the parents had always displayed safe and responsible actions around their own children and mine and my child felt safe and comfortable with them, then I'd probably say yes without thinking much about it. I assume we're talking older kids here?

#22 steppy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

Yes I would, but then, the kid's own mother was such a terrible driver that it was hard to imagine anyone being more dangerous.

#23 imamumto3

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 12/12/2012, 03:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the sports car thing wouldn't register with me, but the speeding fines would probably raise a flag.  If I knew this, I'd probably volunteer to drive my own child.  A day out for everyone.  But that is a long drive for a kids birthday party!

HOWEVER, chances that most people know the exact driving histories for the parents of their children's friends is probably low.  If I didn't know otherwise and for all intents and purposes the parents had always displayed safe and responsible actions around their own children and mine and my child felt safe and comfortable with them, then I'd probably say yes without thinking much about it. I assume we're talking older kids here?

ds is 7

#24 Agnodice the Feral

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 12/12/2012, 02:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Trust your gut and drive him yourself.

Years ago, a mother my family knows trusted her gut and chose not to let her child travel in the car of a friend when both families were holidaying together. That decision most likely saved her child's life. The family of 4 in the other car died in a horrific car accident.

It was so sad, but there could have been 5 dead that day if it wasn't for that mum listening to her gut.

I'm listening to my gut at the moment on another issue. A new friend of my husband has had us over to his home (with his wife) a couple of times for a meal. He is a very nice man and his Thai wife (who couldn't have children of her own) just loves our 10 month old to bits.

They have repeatedly offered to mind DD (they know we have no family to help), but there is just *something* about the guy that has my mummy instincts on high alert and consequently, I'll never leave DD with them. I have absolutely no basis to think anything negative about this man, he does seem very nice & generous. Maybe he seems to like DD a but too much for a 50
year old man and that just seemed a bit "off" to me (I'd never let him know I think this way - he might be a genuinely nice guy who loves kids).

I don't know, but it's just another example of a gut instinct that sometimes we can't explain, but I think we should listen to.


Now here is a load of offensive baloney.

Lets be clear that freak accidents can happen to anyone. And not many men are paedophiles.

QUOTE (Chedasha @ 12/12/2012, 03:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would. I use to get driven by lots of people. An accident can happen when your backing out your own driveway.

Many people have speeding fines at some stage. If ou don't want too drive him yourself. But hey you could have an accident and this guy makes it safely.


This.


OP, how old is your son? I'd be more concerned about how this family will manage a large group at a theme park than the drive.

Everyone gets speeding fines. I have gotten four, all for doing 64 in a 60 zone. i'm not excusing my behaviour, and i do think 'wipe off five' is important, but there's a big difference between being 4 over the linit and 50 over the limit.

And sports cars are an indicator of wealth, not driving ability.

Lets be clear that this issue is about what YOU are comfortable with, not necessarily the objective safety of the situation.

#25 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (MsN @ 12/12/2012, 02:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd be more concerned about how this family will manage a large group at a theme park than the drive.

I agree that I'd be thinking more about that than the transport options.  For that reason alone, I'd ask the parents if they wanted an extra set of hands on the day, particularly with a bunch of excited 7yo boys.

Still think that is a long way for birthday party for a 7 yo.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.