Jump to content

would you let your child go on a long drive with someone else driving?


  • Please log in to reply
52 replies to this topic

#1 imamumto3

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:10 PM

ds has been invited to a birthday party which is being held at a fun park about 3 hours drive away.

i know the mother well but have never met the father.  the mother had said that they will drive ds to the party.  the problem is the father will be driving.  I know he has been caught for speeding several times and now drives a sports car.

I told dh that I don't feel comfortable with ds driving with the father and would rather drive him ourselves, especially because it is such a long way.   dh thinks I'm crazy and should just let them drive him.  WDYT, I'm I being over protective?

#2 R2B2

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

If you don't feel comfortable with the situation, don't send your DS.
if I felt unsure, i'd politely decline and take him myself, or offer to take their child along instead wink.gif

Edited by R2B2, 12 December 2012 - 01:13 PM.


#3 ThatsNotMyName

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:14 PM

I would be very uneasy about that. It may be perfectly fine but without knowing the individual I wouldn't be able to be comfortable about it & would find a way to take him myself.

#4 seayork2002

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:15 PM

Whats is the difference between a long and short drive? the child is still in a car in a car seat

#5 Bel Rowley

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:17 PM

I can think of all sorts of people I would trust to drive my kids, but if you don't trust this guy, that's enough reason to say no.

#6 bearmum

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

I have a very VERY limited group of people I would allow to drive my children. It is nice of that family to offer your child a lift but I would politely decline somehow and drive him myself. There is zero chance I would let my son go in someone else's car in that circumstance.

But my DH and his family think me and my family are uptight original.gif

#7 zingy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:26 PM

I wouldn't be OK with this.

Always listen to your gut.

#8 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

The deciding factor for me would be to trust your instincts. If you do not feel comfortable then, as others have said,politely decline and drive him yourself.

#9 jill1972

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:42 PM

No I'd be freaking out all day till he got safely home.  Some people are quite ok about this sort of stuff, but I'm not one of them.


_____________

#10 HurryUpAlready

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

Trust your gut and drive him yourself.

Years ago, a mother my family knows trusted her gut and chose not to let her child travel in the car of a friend when both families were holidaying together. That decision most likely saved her child's life. The family of 4 in the other car died in a horrific car accident.

It was so sad, but there could have been 5 dead that day if it wasn't for that mum listening to her gut.

I'm listening to my gut at the moment on another issue. A new friend of my husband has had us over to his home (with his wife) a couple of times for a meal. He is a very nice man and his Thai wife (who couldn't have children of her own) just loves our 10 month old to bits.

They have repeatedly offered to mind DD (they know we have no family to help), but there is just *something* about the guy that has my mummy instincts on high alert and consequently, I'll never leave DD with them. I have absolutely no basis to think anything negative about this man, he does seem very nice & generous. Maybe he seems to like DD a but too much for a 50
year old man and that just seemed a bit "off" to me (I'd never let him know I think this way - he might be a genuinely nice guy who loves kids).

I don't know, but it's just another example of a gut instinct that sometimes we can't explain, but I think we should listen to.



#11 Jembo

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.

#12 seayork2002

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

Why are your families driving better/safer than other people's?


QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/12/2012, 02:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.



#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:06 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 12/12/2012, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can think of all sorts of people I would trust to drive my kids, but if you don't trust this guy, that's enough reason to say no.

This. It doesn't matter if the drive is short/long, the person is family/not - if I trust them to drive with my children, fine. If I don't trust them, then they don't drive my children.

#14 jill1972

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:08 PM

QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/12/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Family no problems, someone I did not know well - no.



This made me giggle to myself as there isn't one family member of mine who's driving makes me feel safe!


____________

#15 Ireckon

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

My brother had a fair few driving related fines when he was younger. He is now 31, and I have let him take my DS on a 7 hr drive. I think he got all the stupid out of the way early on, and is very responsible now.

Having said that, if I thought he was still driving like he used to, I would say thanks but no thanks. If you are not comfortable with this man driving your child, then perhaps tie the trip in with a lovely day trip you and DH have been waiting for AGES to take.




#16 roses99

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:13 PM

No, I wouldn't do it.

Trust your instincts.

Aside from anything else, driving a bunch of excitable kids can be pretty distracting.

#17 zande

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

QUOTE
Why are your families driving better/safer than other people's?

They may not be necessarily, but at least I know my family's driving abilities. This is one area I am uptight about. My DD2 has never been in a car not driven by myself or my DH except for my mum, and then it's only short distances.

DD1 (9yo) I am slowly getting used to her being in other people's cars but it's generally only locally and short distances, and I still don't like it.

I know other people don't take car safety anywhere near as seriously as me, so I don't like other people driving my girls.

#18 Starrydawn

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

I would. I use to get driven by lots of people. An accident can happen when your backing out your own driveway.

Many people have speeding fines at some stage. If ou don't want too drive him yourself. But hey you could have an accident and this guy makes it safely.




#19 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:24 PM

Wouldn't be worth the stress to me, if knew were going to worry for the whole day. Why don't you take him?

#20 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

QUOTE (imamumto3 @ 12/12/2012, 01:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ds has been invited to a birthday party which is being held at a fun park about 3 hours drive away.

i know the mother well but have never met the father.  the mother had said that they will drive ds to the party.  the problem is the father will be driving. I know he has been caught for speeding several times and now drives a sports car.

I told dh that I don't feel comfortable with ds driving with the father and would rather drive him ourselves, especially because it is such a long way.   dh thinks I'm crazy and should just let them drive him.  WDYT, I'm I being over protective?

the sports car thing wouldn't register with me, but the speeding fines would probably raise a flag.  If I knew this, I'd probably volunteer to drive my own child.  A day out for everyone.  But that is a long drive for a kids birthday party!

HOWEVER, chances that most people know the exact driving histories for the parents of their children's friends is probably low.  If I didn't know otherwise and for all intents and purposes the parents had always displayed safe and responsible actions around their own children and mine and my child felt safe and comfortable with them, then I'd probably say yes without thinking much about it. I assume we're talking older kids here?

#21 steppy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

Yes I would, but then, the kid's own mother was such a terrible driver that it was hard to imagine anyone being more dangerous.

#22 imamumto3

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 12/12/2012, 03:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the sports car thing wouldn't register with me, but the speeding fines would probably raise a flag.  If I knew this, I'd probably volunteer to drive my own child.  A day out for everyone.  But that is a long drive for a kids birthday party!

HOWEVER, chances that most people know the exact driving histories for the parents of their children's friends is probably low.  If I didn't know otherwise and for all intents and purposes the parents had always displayed safe and responsible actions around their own children and mine and my child felt safe and comfortable with them, then I'd probably say yes without thinking much about it. I assume we're talking older kids here?

ds is 7

#23 Fright bat

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 12/12/2012, 02:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Trust your gut and drive him yourself.

Years ago, a mother my family knows trusted her gut and chose not to let her child travel in the car of a friend when both families were holidaying together. That decision most likely saved her child's life. The family of 4 in the other car died in a horrific car accident.

It was so sad, but there could have been 5 dead that day if it wasn't for that mum listening to her gut.

I'm listening to my gut at the moment on another issue. A new friend of my husband has had us over to his home (with his wife) a couple of times for a meal. He is a very nice man and his Thai wife (who couldn't have children of her own) just loves our 10 month old to bits.

They have repeatedly offered to mind DD (they know we have no family to help), but there is just *something* about the guy that has my mummy instincts on high alert and consequently, I'll never leave DD with them. I have absolutely no basis to think anything negative about this man, he does seem very nice & generous. Maybe he seems to like DD a but too much for a 50
year old man and that just seemed a bit "off" to me (I'd never let him know I think this way - he might be a genuinely nice guy who loves kids).

I don't know, but it's just another example of a gut instinct that sometimes we can't explain, but I think we should listen to.


Now here is a load of offensive baloney.

Lets be clear that freak accidents can happen to anyone. And not many men are paedophiles.

QUOTE (Chedasha @ 12/12/2012, 03:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would. I use to get driven by lots of people. An accident can happen when your backing out your own driveway.

Many people have speeding fines at some stage. If ou don't want too drive him yourself. But hey you could have an accident and this guy makes it safely.


This.


OP, how old is your son? I'd be more concerned about how this family will manage a large group at a theme park than the drive.

Everyone gets speeding fines. I have gotten four, all for doing 64 in a 60 zone. i'm not excusing my behaviour, and i do think 'wipe off five' is important, but there's a big difference between being 4 over the linit and 50 over the limit.

And sports cars are an indicator of wealth, not driving ability.

Lets be clear that this issue is about what YOU are comfortable with, not necessarily the objective safety of the situation.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (MsN @ 12/12/2012, 02:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd be more concerned about how this family will manage a large group at a theme park than the drive.

I agree that I'd be thinking more about that than the transport options.  For that reason alone, I'd ask the parents if they wanted an extra set of hands on the day, particularly with a bunch of excited 7yo boys.

Still think that is a long way for birthday party for a 7 yo.

#25 Chchgirl

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:46 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 12/12/2012, 02:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The deciding factor for me would be to trust your instincts. If you do not feel comfortable then, as others have said,politely decline and drive him yourself.


This..

Edited by Chchgirl, 12 December 2012 - 02:51 PM.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.