Jump to content

When your core values are so different to those of your family


  • Please log in to reply
30 replies to this topic

#1 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:23 AM

Long story short, I grew up part of a conservative, catholic, farming family and have grown into a non-religious vegetarian lefty. Over the years I've butted heads with members of my family over various things, usually political or environmental issues, and I don't mind this - I actually enjoy a good heated debate and am not incapable of reflection when it's needed.
But lately I feel like my limits are being stretched, and I'm doubly aware of the examples being set for my now quite impressionable daughter. I honestly don't care about people disagreeing with me; I'm talking racist jokes at the Christmas dinner table, violently anti-refugee statements, blatant p*sstaking of vegetarianism (dad once tricked my then vegan DP into eating watermelon with his old butcher's knife), etc etc. I've asked Mum recently why she continues to support the catholic, church when she so vehemently disagrees with its handling of sex assault claims and she pursed her lips and told me it was all a but icky so she chooses not to think about it. I have also tried on several occasions to disclose my own.sexual assault and it's been repeatedly swept under the carpet... My family doesn't talk about 'that stuff'.

At the same time my parents,are great grandparents and have helped me so much especially since having children. I never went without and they are proud of me even though I have chosen a different path than one they would've chosen for me, inalmost every sense. I'm sure they respect me as their daughter, just not as a person :-( or at least that's how it feels. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Do you just grin and bear it? Or is it a constant battle like this forever? I don't mind standing up for what I believe in, but it's bloody exhausting it's always against your own family.

Sorry for typos am on my phone and it's late and im tired!

#2 BadCat

Posted 12 December 2012 - 04:24 AM

Take out the veg and the religion and that's pretty close to my own familly dynamic.  Racist jokes, diatribes against the refugees, slagging off gay people, all acceptable dinner conversation in my family.

I used to worry about how it would affect my kids but in the end they're my kids and they get the bulk of their attitudes and understanding of the world from DH and I.  Nowadays we just roll our eyes and the kids know that we don't share whatever view is being espoused.

As far as butting heads with them, I just don't bother any more.  They think I'm a PC weirdo (which is laughable) and I think they're a bunch of intolerant bogans.  I just grin and bear it while I try to move the conversation to more palatable waters.

#3 Fr0g

Posted 12 December 2012 - 06:33 AM

My siblings and I actually each come from different planets, from within different universes.

I have one brother who likes to throw out the bait - but that's all it is, bait - I'm tired of robust conversation with family which inevitably ends up with pursed lips and rolling eyes.

My thinking is; we're adults, we have had different experiences which have shaped our world views but at the end of the day - we're family. I avoid specific topics (drugs and suicide with Dad, refugees and boat people with my ex-army brother, religion & politics with my lawyer brother, pretty much everything is off topic with my biological mother except the weather etc).

Life is simple, ignorance is bliss, a moderate world view is safe and would you PLEASE pass the salt... original.gif


#4 Phasmatis angelam

Posted 12 December 2012 - 08:01 AM

Somewhat similar, yes.  (Different flavours with my family and DH's).

I try to think of it like this.  Over time, DD is going to be exposed to the sorts of thinking I disagree with.  If she gets it from extended family, it's more likely that I will know about it and be able to reflect with her about what she's heard and why mum and dad disagree.  If she doesn't get it from family, it's more likely to be the school yard or random reading, and I won't necessarily have the same opportunity to respond.  So in a way, I feel it's "safer" and more controlled, and I don't necessarily feel that's entirely a bad thing.

I've mostly given up fighting and talk about superficial stuff.  It's just not worth it.  At least part of the answer, for me, has been to realise that I'm much more educated than my parents; if they had had the same opportunities for learning that I've had, I expect they'd be very different people.

#5 ekbaby

Posted 12 December 2012 - 08:02 AM

Sounds like my IL's. I don't initiate conversation on those topics that I know we are going to disagree on, but it's frustrating when all the other family members try to "bait" my DP. They find it amusing, but I don't think it's funny.

Differences of political opinion are fine, and I'm happy for my children to see that there are a range of opinions, but there are some things that I draw the line at- direct racism & homophobia being one. My FIL was once reading my DS a book and made comments to him about all the black characters are bludgers. That's just not on, it's not fair to use a 3yo to try and stir your adult daughter, and I won't cop my kid being told such hateful stuff. If that kind of stuff happens again and he doesn't stop, I will ask him to leave, or leave myself.

#6 niggles

Posted 12 December 2012 - 08:20 AM

I can relate somewhat Relish except that there is more of a critical mass of diverse thinking amongst my siblings. There are just some topics we avoid I guess in order to keep the peace somewhat but the reality is that between some family members there will always be an unbridgable gap. It's the elephant in the room.

I think you have to consider how important maintaining these relationships is and how much energy you can put into them. And become adept at changing the subject respectfully (with respect for yourself as well as for them I mean) and then talking about that with your children later if necessary.

The fact they are unavailable to you with regards to support for the abuse you've received must be especially hurtful. I hope that's something you've been able to talk through with a counsellor.

#7 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

Thanks for the replies. I think the education thing is a really good point Ange, I know going to uni had such an impact on my ability to see things from a broader perspective, and in recognising the elements of my worldview that might be influencing my opinions. I know it's condescending but it makes me sad that my parents especially, have never learned this.

I made an off the cuff remark this morning (I'm staying at their place with the kids for a few days) about the Hey Dad guy - can't remember his name atm - and how sad it is knowing what we know now when we grew up watching the show, and Dad made a spitting comment like 'Pfft, you've got to wonder why it's taken this long to come out though, poor bloke'. It's these kinds of things that I find vile, to the point where if it was a friend making these kinds of statements around me, I'd distance myself from them. But because they're family, I don't.

I absolutely adored and idolised my father as a child, I think that's why I find his values and opinions, that are so different to those I look up to in a person now, so hard to accept.

#8 Quack Quack

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

I am like this with My brother, we have never openly Argued as adults... But still rarely speak.

We have no common ground at all, He is about as far away from me and my values as you can get, and is arrogant enough that when I try to make an advance of being friends, just kind of brushes me off.
Most of the time it doesn't bother me too much, but last year he had a brain tumor (thankfully is ok now) and it made me cry so much for the Brother I wish I had.  I think I was kind of mourning the loss of the brother I had when we were children rather than the arrogant prat I have now wink.gif

#9 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:48 PM

Niggles - thanks, yes it is hurtful but not surprising when you look at the culture that exists in my family. Even at the time (and it was many - 12? - years ago now) I knew it would never be something I could discuss openly with members of my family. Incidentally the family I've chosen - DP and his family - and not at all like this and while they have their own little dysfunctional family quirks, are on the whole a very open, honest and supportive unit original.gif

#10 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:50 PM

QUOTE (5*little*ducks @ 12/12/2012, 11:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am like this with My brother, we have never openly Argued as adults... But still rarely speak.

We have no common ground at all, He is about as far away from me and my values as you can get, and is arrogant enough that when I try to make an advance of being friends, just kind of brushes me off.
Most of the time it doesn't bother me too much, but last year he had a brain tumor (thankfully is ok now) and it made me cry so much for the Brother I wish I had.  I think I was kind of mourning the loss of the brother I had when we were children rather than the arrogant prat I have now wink.gif

Hah, yes, I think this sums up the feelings I'm trying to process now. It's an interesting take on it - perhaps I'd be more at peace if I let myself 'mourn' the Dad from my childhood and work on accepting and getting to know this one? Interesting.

#11 Ninja Lemur

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

QUOTE (Relish* @ 12/12/2012, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I made an off the cuff remark this morning (I'm staying at their place with the kids for a few days) about the Hey Dad guy - can't remember his name atm - and how sad it is knowing what we know now when we grew up watching the show, and Dad made a spitting comment like 'Pfft, you've got to wonder why it's taken this long to come out though, poor bloke'. It's these kinds of things that I find vile, to the point where if it was a friend making these kinds of statements around me, I'd distance myself from them. But because they're family, I don't.


My family makes equivalent comments.  Especially my mother.  Given what happened to me as a child I find their lack of insight unbelievable.  Perhaps another case of being too uncomfortable with the truth.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

QUOTE (Relish* @ 11/12/2012, 11:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
dad once tricked my then vegan DP into eating watermelon with his old butcher's knife

Seriously, based on this, you'll probably never change the attitude of someone like that. I have a vegan cousin who prepares his own food at his mother's house because he is paranoid that someone will try to secretly feed him some animal product, yet nobody would ever dream of doing such a ridiculous thing!  The most mature thing you could do is try to explain to them that you feel disrespected by their ridiculing your decisions and values and by their attempts to ignore or deny your experiences, and that you don't want your daughter exposed to jokes that are in poor taste, racist or otherwise, but it doesn't sound as if they'll respond/react in the way that you want.



#13 Magnus

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:16 PM

I remember reading this post on Offbeat Families once and I thought a lot of the advice posters gave was really good: http://offbeatfamilies.com/2012/07/family-visit-rules

#14 RealityBites

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:26 PM

My family is the same although we also have deeper dysfunctional issues. Almost completely estranged, now.

#15 Froger

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

Your parents brought you up the best way they know how, trying to instill their values which they thought were best. Most likely it seems like a slap in the face to them, that you have rejected everything they hold dear, most especially their religion. In regards to their religion, meat eating and farming, I honestly think you need to be tolerant and loving. Catholicism of itself is not bad, and no doubt it is a great comfort to your family. A child changing or abandoning the religion of their parents can be something very personal and difficult for parents to get over.

To ask your parents to abandon their religion and meat eating is most likely very hurtful - especially given that you do seem to hold such strong feelings about the subject - which may come across as quite judgemental. No parent likes to be judged by their child - especially on something like religion which they had probably hoped that you would share.

As for using the butcher's knife to cut up the watermelon, I'm not sure that non-vegetarians would actually know this is something to not do when preparing a vegetarian meal. People often need to be told this sort of thing if a vegetarian is really strict about preparation surfaces and knives never having touched meat. I can see how a large knife that cuts up meat could easily also be the most suitable knife that a household has for cutting watermelon. It may be that you just have to bring your own food if they don't get it, or are unable to comply with your strict requirements.

As far as racism, it probably isn't any use arguing with older people. I don't see much point to it. And given that you disagree on so much else, it seems most likely they aren't going to be paying you much attention on this, apart from thinking you are just a joyless nag! Just stop arguing and trying to change relatives would be my advice. Go and see them, and just have a lovely visit hanging out with them, and avoid talking about subjects which will upset anyone. They aren't going to change. You aren't going to change. So just try to love them the way they are, and enjoy their company, as I'm sure they love you, and that's the main thing.

As I said, it's really really hard for parents to see their children abandoning their values. And its really really annoying for parents to have children nagging them to change their most valued ways of life and religion. So just try and be nice.  original.gif

#16 steppy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 12/12/2012, 03:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
As for using the butcher's knife to cut up the watermelon, I'm not sure that non-vegetarians would actually know this is something to not do when preparing a vegetarian meal. People often need to be told this sort of thing if a vegetarian is really strict about preparation surfaces and knives never having touched meat. I can see how a large knife that cuts up meat could easily also be the most suitable knife that a household has for cutting watermelon. It may be that you just have to bring your own food if they don't get it, or are unable to comply with your strict requirements.


I prepare meals for vegetarians all the time and this has never come up. If a vegan or vegetarian DID expect this I would ask them to bring their own cutlery, plates etc as there is fat chance anything in my house hasn't touched meat at some point. People really have to look after themselves for the requests that are out there.

#17 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:50 PM

That link is great Magnus, thanks.

I don't expect my family to convert to vegetarianism, or abandon their religion, I have no idea where that assumption came from. I only expect them to respect my decisions and choices, and I'm expected to respect theirs. I'm very disappointed SarahM72 that you seem to think I am not 'nice' to my family - perhaps this is an assumption you've incorrectly made based on my posts or an error I've made in communicating how I feel about this.

The butcher's knife thing - we don't expect a never-used-to-cut-meat-before knife every time we cut something (thought this might have been implied?), but to convince DP to use it and then laugh about how many animals were slaughtered using that knife, is just mean spirited, and I was mortified.

I understand I'm supposed to just put up and shut up, but in many ways I find this soul-destroyingly difficult; I was only wondering how people deal with similar situations.

#18 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:53 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 12/12/2012, 02:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
As for using the butcher's knife to cut up the watermelon, I'm not sure that non-vegetarians would actually know this is something to not do when preparing a vegetarian meal. People often need to be told this sort of thing if a vegetarian is really strict about preparation surfaces and knives never having touched meat. I can see how a large knife that cuts up meat could easily also be the most suitable knife that a household has for cutting watermelon. It may be that you just have to bring your own food if they don't get it, or are unable to comply with your strict requirements.

When I read the OP, I freaked a little that I may have inadvertently offended some of my vego/vegan friends by just using any old knife, fork, spoon.

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 12/12/2012, 02:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just stop arguing and trying to change relatives would be my advice. Go and see them, and just have a lovely visit hanging out with them, and avoid talking about subjects which will upset anyone. They aren't going to change. You aren't going to change. So just try to love them the way they are, and enjoy their company, as I'm sure they love you, and that's the main thing.

As I said, it's really really hard for parents to see their children abandoning their values. And its really really annoying for parents to have children nagging them to change their most valued ways of life and religion. So just try and be nice.  original.gif

agree with this.


#19 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:57 PM

QUOTE (Relish* @ 12/12/2012, 02:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The butcher's knife thing - we don't expect a never-used-to-cut-meat-before knife every time we cut something (thought this might have been implied?), but to convince DP to use it and then laugh about how many animals were slaughtered using that knife, is just mean spirited, and I was mortified.

I agree.  I'd be horrified at their deliberate sensitivity as well.  That isn't very friendly or polite.

QUOTE (Relish* @ 12/12/2012, 02:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I understand I'm supposed to just put up and shut up, but in many ways I find this soul-destroyingly difficult; I was only wondering how people deal with similar situations.

Your parents are more than the issues that you clash on.  Find the other stuff and focus on that.  If their heart is in the right place and they love and support you and your family, it's much easier to let go of the differences and conflicts.

#20 Froger

Posted 12 December 2012 - 03:03 PM

QUOTE (Relish* @ 12/12/2012, 02:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That link is great Magnus, thanks.

I don't expect my family to convert to vegetarianism, or abandon their religion, I have no idea where that assumption came from. I only expect them to respect my decisions and choices, and I'm expected to respect theirs. I'm very disappointed SarahM72 that you seem to think I am not 'nice' to my family - perhaps this is an assumption you've incorrectly made based on my posts or an error I've made in communicating how I feel about this.

The butcher's knife thing - we don't expect a never-used-to-cut-meat-before knife every time we cut something (thought this might have been implied?), but to convince DP to use it and then laugh about how many animals were slaughtered using that knife, is just mean spirited, and I was mortified.

I understand I'm supposed to just put up and shut up, but in many ways I find this soul-destroyingly difficult; I was only wondering how people deal with similar situations.

Sorry if I misjudged, but you did say you asked your mum how she could still support the Catholic Church. Honestly, if I was a parent, I would feel very judged about a comment like this, and get very defensive. I don't like my children to instruct me about how to live my life, or ask me questions that I would take to be exceptionally judgmental about my religion or way of life in general.


#21 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 03:18 PM

Fair enough, maybe she did feel like that. I don't remember how the conversation went exactly, maybe I should let her know this wasn't what I was meaning.

Well isn't this dandy. Now I just feel sh*t that I had the audacity to get raped and not be tolerant when my family refused to acknowledge the fact. (I am mainly joking. Sort of.)

(I'll work on it.)

#22 NunSoFeral

Posted 12 December 2012 - 03:46 PM

QUOTE (Relish* @ 12/12/2012, 03:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well isn't this dandy. Now I just feel sh*t that I had the audacity to get raped and not be tolerant when my family refused to acknowledge the fact. (I am mainly joking. Sort of.)

(I'll work on it.)


Relish - seems like more than a differences in life philosophy and core values.

If I were in this situation I would be feeling angry, ignored and betrayed.

Those feelings would also be the lens through which all family interactions would be filtered.

Such a load, Relish, and so unfair.

To paraphrase - such tremendous insult to a horrific injury.

"that stuff" - jeez.

sad.gif

in the context of this above, I think you are doing incredibly well to be speaking to them at all.



#23 FearsomeFeralFreak

Posted 12 December 2012 - 03:51 PM

This is my family too in a way but without the religion.
My family are hard-core right-wing people in every way and are generally lacking in any type of compassion.
They hate refugees, are anti any type of support for those less fortunate, honestly believe that rich people are better and more deserving.
If they were American they would be tea party through and through.

Its difficult. Thank god for the kids or we would have nothing to talk about!
That said we rarely see them. They are not interested and frankly neither are we.


#24 Relish*

Posted 12 December 2012 - 03:54 PM

Rightly or wrongly, I accepted (to an extent, doesnt mean it doesn't suck) long ago that my family wouldn't be comfortable discussing certain things. I was referring to the suggestion that I had obviously disappointed my family and am just not being nice.

You're probably right about my seeming acceptance of their elective ignorance being a filter for any clashes, though.

#25 steppy

Posted 12 December 2012 - 04:00 PM

QUOTE (Relish* @ 12/12/2012, 03:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The butcher's knife thing - we don't expect a never-used-to-cut-meat-before knife every time we cut something (thought this might have been implied?), but to convince DP to use it and then laugh about how many animals were slaughtered using that knife, is just mean spirited, and I was mortified.

Ah I see. Yes it is something better left unsaid. It definitely sounds like he was needling your DP.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Show us your DUPLO creations to win!

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Anti-vaccination mum's seven children contract whooping cough

A Canadian woman who had declined to have her children immunised against pertussis, better known as whooping cough, has changed her position now that all seven of her children have come down with the disease.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

Show us your toddlers LEGO DUPLO creations

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

SIGN UP NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby for just the month of April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.