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Xmas cards for all, or a select few friends?
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16 replies to this topic

#1 Queen Yoda

Posted 11 December 2012 - 08:49 PM

So, DD1 is in her last year of daycare before she starts school next year.  This week, she/we have received 3 xmas cards in our pigeon hole at daycare and a candy cane.  I can figure out who gave DD1 one of the xmas card (the parent kindly wrote child's name on the inside, as we couldn't read what the child had written).  However, I have no idea who gave the candy cane or the other 2 cards and the daycare staff aren't sure either.  DD1 has no idea, just thinks it's great and now wants to give cards away as well ("to all my friends, all of them Mummy!").

So, to be honest, I hadn't actually thought about doing Xmas cards for kids at daycare. It just didn't register on my radar. So, here's my dilemma
(a) do nothing
(b) do xmas cards for ALL kids in her room (I think it's about 42 all up, spread over the week)
(c ) do xmas cards for a few of her closer friends, maybe 5 or 6 (hard to pin her down on who are her closer friends, I'm concerned we may miss someone).

And should we be giving candy canes away???

What have others done in similar situations?

Doubly concerned because if we do this for DD1, I can DD2 will want to do the same for the kids in her daycare room ....

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 11 December 2012 - 09:07 PM.


#2 FeralHez

Posted 11 December 2012 - 08:57 PM

Dd is not at daycare so I may be way off, but could you get your girls involved in something for the teachers and/or the whole room to share? E.g. Dear wombats room and [carers names], merry Christmas etc love dd. With canes or something to share around, maybe. Then its two card fir all the kids, no-one gets missed :-)

Just an idea... :-)

#3 Queen Yoda

Posted 11 December 2012 - 09:07 PM

QUOTE (HezzaB @ 11/12/2012, 08:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dd is not at daycare so I may be way off, but could you get your girls involved in something for the teachers and/or the whole room to share? E.g. Dear wombats room and [carers names], merry Christmas etc love dd. With canes or something to share around, maybe. Then its two card fir all the kids, no-one gets missed :-)

Just an idea... :-)

I did think of that, but my girls go 4 days/week and there is a change of kids (1 or 2 each day, but a big swap of kids after 2 days, about 1/3 change).  Not sure how the carers would pull it off since the kids are spread over all days, unless I give enough candy canes for it to happen a couple of times.  Hope that makes sense.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 11 December 2012 - 09:08 PM.


#4 Heather11

Posted 11 December 2012 - 09:08 PM

My children give a card to everyone but this only starts in school because the people in the class are consistent.

They didn't give any out at preschool because there were up to 60 students at any given time and I felt that was too man.  Like you said, at that age it can be hard to pin down exactly who their friends are and you don't want to leave anyone out.  I felt it better that no one receive something rather than someone miss out.

#5 mombasa

Posted 11 December 2012 - 09:18 PM

DD1 didn't ever hand out Christmas Cards at Preschool nor did we receive any, she did give her carer a gift and card though. This year DD1 is in Kindy so handed Christmas Cards out to everyone in both classes, small school so only 40 kids in total, not a huge deal and she wrote them all out and attached a candy cane to them herself, DD2 is at Preschool and decided that because DD1 was handing them out to her friends she wanted to as well so she gave them to about 5 kids I think that she regularly plays with, she also attached a candy cane, I'm not expecting any in return nor will it bother me or DD2 TBH. DD1 has a stack of them from her friends and DD2 hasn't asked once why she doesn't have one.

Unless you really want to hand them out I wouldn't bother, I don't think missing out on them at daycare/Preschool is a huge deal, big school is a whole other story though...

#6 livvie7586

Posted 12 December 2012 - 06:16 AM

seeing as they can go in pigeon holes (and if it's like when DS was in daycare, the parents could put things in themselves), i would do some for your daughter's closest friends and leave it at that (if that's what she wanted to do).  it isn't as if your DD will be running around handing them out herself, so there wouldn't be any hurt feelings if some kids didn't get something, and you aren't stuck writing them for everyone (either that, or don't do any.  that would be my choice  ph34r.gif )

this is our first year of writing out one for everyone in the class, but DS is in kindy.  DD 'wrote' out 6, her 3 friends from playgroup (we have a tiny playgroup), and the 3 younger siblings from school she plays with

#7 sophiasmum

Posted 12 December 2012 - 07:43 AM

No, we don't do day care cards because it would mean me writing them & TBH I don't have time for it. My school kids can give cards if they want, but it's up to them to organise, so they can do as many or as few as they want. I prefer to give a little something in it, whether it's a chocolate or candy cane (although prefer choc) because a card on it's own seems boring & just gets chucked out surely. But this year, unless it's done on the weekend, seems like a miss.

#8 missjoads1234

Posted 12 December 2012 - 07:48 AM

I agree with the PP. We dont "do" christmas cards here, not because we dont like to, but we just dont have time. When my kids are older and can organise it themselves more power to them, go for it. So for you OP, id either do a group card or none.

#9 JustBeige

Posted 12 December 2012 - 07:58 AM

In daycare we only did their 'bestie' and their carers.

In Kindy we did the whole class (so no one missed out)

from about yr2 we have only done selected friends (plus candy cane).   This seems to be the most common practise now.

#10 EsmeLennox

Posted 12 December 2012 - 07:59 AM

I never did Christmas cards at daycare. At school age I let the kids decide for themselves how they want to approach it.

#11 Queen Yoda

Posted 12 December 2012 - 11:59 AM

Thanks everyone.  I think it's a choice of all or none.  And it will come down to logistics, so for practical reasons, I suspect it will be none because I don't have time.

We are giving small xmas gifts to a couple of friends of DD1 (and DD2), but that will be done away from daycare through one of our regular catch-ups.

I spoke with one of the senior carers this morning and asked her opinion on it (like is it the done thing to do xmas cards and give them to all the kids) Her personal opinion was that it was nuts to do it for everyone, but some kids (parents) do it and that's just their thing.  She said the daycare staff know it sets of a flood of "guilt responders" who then also do cards.  In her words, it can sometimes have a "cascading effect".  Her thought was that if DD1 really wanted to do something for her daycare mates, just send in a stack of treats that can be given out at morning tea one day only (eg. candy canes, or mini chocs) and don't bother with the individual cards.   To be honest, I'm leaning towards this one if we do anything at all.

QUOTE (mombasa @ 11/12/2012, 09:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Unless you really want to hand them out I wouldn't bother, I don't think missing out on them at daycare/Preschool is a huge deal, big school is a whole other story though...

I had been naively thinking that the xmas card swapping thing would be a school thing, I was/am all prepared for it next year.  I just didn't expect it this year, it's never happened at daycare before.  I think it's because it's their final year in daycare, they are all going to different schools next year and many of the kids can write their own name (sorta).  So I suspect it's like a farewell thing that a few kids have decided to do (or been encouraged to do).  And now other kids are joining the trend because (a) they want to and/or (b) they don't want to be seen to be rude.  (option B is my concern)

DD1 got another card and candy cane in the pigeon hole this morning ....

QUOTE (sophiasmum @ 12/12/2012, 07:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No, we don't do day care cards because it would mean me writing them & TBH I don't have time for it.

That's my thing too.  Good intentions and all that, but I seriously doubt DD1 would have the endurance to write in all the cards.  Mummy would have to help and I don't think we I have the time.


#12 lilwonder

Posted 12 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

I think your idea of just doing little treats is the best way to go.

We haven't ever done them with daycare, but DD has started preschool this year. She was given a few cards and was really keen to give some out herself but the preschool has lots of kids and spread over different days. So in the end she did a few for her close friends and we left them in pigeonholes. I think next year when there is a stable class list we will do them for all of the kids

#13 Mamma_mia

Posted 12 December 2012 - 12:12 PM

"Guilt responders"! Ha ha that's funny - sounds like me. On the last day of Pre-school last year DS received heaps of cards - obviously lots of kids gave them out to everyone in the class. It was too late for me to do the same and I felt a bit guilty. I decided I would do it next/this year, but I'm thinking I might not bother. Especially if DS is not asking to do it and doesn't want to help!

#14 threetimesblessed

Posted 12 December 2012 - 12:18 PM

DS2 attends pre school 2 days per week.
He wrote his name on 46 cards and I wrote, To ....
I bought him 2 packets of cards and 2 bags of lollipops and it took about 1 hour to do one Saturday afternoon.
DS1 wrote cards for his class of 20 students and it took about 20mins.

They like to receive cards and candy from others and also like to give out cards to their friends.
I think it's a nice gesture at the end of the year. Yes, technically they aren't friends with everyone but they have spent a year with these children, interacted and played with them at some point and it is nice to wish them a merry Christmas/happy holiday and say thanks for being my friend.


#15 Propaganda

Posted 12 December 2012 - 05:20 PM

When my child was in daycare, I did them for all kids in the daycare room, even though there was a possibility she had never interacted with some of them (due to not sharing the same days in care).

In her first year of school, and now this year too, I've sent cards for all students in her class. I think it much nicer to do this for the little ones, and it only costs a few extra dollars to do it. If kids only got cards from their friends, I fear some children might not recieve anything, while watching everyone else receive numerous.

When my child is a bit older, I'll limit it to just friends, but while she's still small, I want everyone included.

#16 epl0822

Posted 12 December 2012 - 07:52 PM

There's no way I'm writing 40+ xmas cards.

I don't want or need generic xmas cards from people I barely know. I would extend the same consideration to others.

#17 Queen Yoda

Posted 13 December 2012 - 04:09 AM

QUOTE (Propaganda @ 12/12/2012, 05:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When my child was in daycare, I did them for all kids in the daycare room, even though there was a possibility she had never interacted with some of them (due to not sharing the same days in care).

In her first year of school, and now this year too, I've sent cards for all students in her class. I think it much nicer to do this for the little ones, and it only costs a few extra dollars to do it. If kids only got cards from their friends, I fear some children might not recieve anything, while watching everyone else receive numerous.

When my child is a bit older, I'll limit it to just friends, but while she's still small, I want everyone included.

as you say, it only costs a couple of extra dollars.  Cost hasn't entered into the equation, I'm not concerned about that.  It's finding time to buy the cards, write them up and then put all 60+ cards (2 daycare rooms for DD1 and DD2) into pigeon holes before I go to work one day.  I barely get to work on time without having to do that.

QUOTE (epl0822 @ 12/12/2012, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There's no way I'm writing 40+ xmas cards.

I don't want or need generic xmas cards from people I barely know. I would extend the same consideration to others.

I'm with you on this one.  Particularly when DD1 & I can't even recognise who gave her the card anyway because the friend's handwriting isn't fabulous.




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