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HELP shared care of kids
Discipline for 5 and 7 year old


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#1 VJs Mummy

Posted 11 December 2012 - 05:58 PM

Hey all i wasnt sure where to put this but figured in here would be better then nowhere at all
I have  7 and 5 year old, who i have shared care with my ex, the problem i have is whhenever they are at my place they don't listen I've tried being nice, talking with them, reasoning with them trying to get them to understand me I just cant
My 7 year old even when we have just us time will get bored within 1/2 - hour at their dads they are allowed to play the ds or ipad or any computer gadget for what seems to me like to long i have bought this up with their dad and he says they do play outside, i asked for how long and he just said long enough, he plays on computer alot also, he is also very emotional so u do have to be careful how u say it to him
My 5 year old has calmed down quite alot this was with help of school also, he also though whne with me does not listen, ive tried charts, and everything i could think of with being a childcare worker and nothing i thought woulod work has worked i am just at a loss and what this all sorted, we do think mr 5 year old has SPD we are currently awaiting a OT and developmental delay assesment team he is also repeating kindergaten we have spoke to him about this and seems to be ok now took awhile
How much and what sort of discipline do u give to ur kids, are they in set routine, they know thay have 2 lots of rules one for their dads and one for here i have tried to keep similar but a bit different as we tend to do more outside activities and swimming lessons etc,

I guess just looking for other ways i could sort this out and manage as right now im feeling very stressed and feel like im not coping in some ways hope that makes sense
thanks sorry about it being so long


#2 Bony Mum

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:34 PM

I've got similar problems with my 6yr old DS, he stays week about with his father and it's amazing how he likes to turn things around and lie. He'll say something like, "my dad lets me ride in the front seat of the car" a really bad lie because of all the laws which my DS doesn't understand yet.The way I approach my situation is this, my DS has two households, he has a set of rules for his dads place and one for mine. Just because dad lets them do a particular thing at his place, doesn't mean they get to do it at yours, end of story. I completely agree with not to much TV time (we don't have "normal" TV at home, so if my son wants to watch anything he has to ask to have a movie/game put on).
Basically the rules at my place are- 1 to 2 hours of electronic time (enough for a movie)- Board games for a few hours on the weekend (connect 4 and battle ship are good ones and it gets them away from electronics and thinking)- If he doesn't want to play outside that's fine, he plays in his room.- If he doesn't want to play in his room, he can clean his room.
I've also worked out with my ex that my DS goes to bed at 7pm each night, so the routine is similar in regards to bed time.
With discipline, I usually send him to the time out step, or he misses out on stuff. Like if he refuses to clean his room and throws a tantrum about doing it, he looses TV privileges for the week. Or if he doesn't finish dinner he doesn't get dessert.
I think the main thing is to be strong and don't put up with any "but dad lets me do this", they're old enough to understand they have two houses and things are different at each home.
Fingers crossed it works out for you!




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