Jump to content

4yo struggles to determine gender.

  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 fionah

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:22 PM

Cam turned 4 in August. It was noted at an OT/speech therapy assessment earlier in the year that he has difficulty recognising the gender of characters and people. Ray (7yo with ASD and ADD characteristics) is getting very frustrated with Cam calling things by the incorrect gender.
Are there any other kids like that? Does anyone have experience of their child growing out of this? The therapists weren't concerned about it, but I can't remember what they said I should expect.

Thanks for your replies,

Fi  cool.gif

#2 WithSprinkles

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:30 PM

Does he have difficulty recognising the gender or is it that he has difficulty using the correct pronoun (e.g. he/she)?

At that age it can be common to mix up pronouns, and if it is a problem of just using the correct pronouns perhaps you could work on it with him (e.g. directly telling him - we use the word "she" for girls and "he" for boys, and then practice using the words "he" and "she", e.g. Is this picture of a boy or a girl? What word do we use for a girl? he or she? etc).

#3 fionah

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:38 PM

Thanks Vanillaicecream.

Now I have thought more about it after my OP and I thought he was just getting the pronouns mixed up, but when looking at a character, he has trouble recognising the gender.
He has trouble identifying features of Stereotypical western gender (eg. a lady wears a dress. A man has a moustache) and names as being boys or girls names. Tonights immediate example. Cameron's middle name is James. We have told Cam he is a boy, but he insists that James from Thomas the Tank is a girl. He often thinks people change their sexes and doesn't understand that I have been a girl all of my life. He often asks questions about when I was a little boy, and stubbornly insists I was once a little boy.

It's all a little bit confusing. I am sure my hubby would say I am worrying about nothing, but I would like to see how others have faired with the same issue.


#4 papilio

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

I remember thinking that I was going to be a man when I grew up - I'm not sure how old I was though!  I am most certainly a woman though!

Dexie has just turned 5 and he's pretty much got the gender thing down pat now.

#5 Isolabella

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:44 PM

In terms of pronoun use my 5.5 yo still calls most people He.

Probably it has just been the pat year he got gender identification correct.

I remember DS1 at 4 yrs insisting that when his little brother grew up he would be a girl.  DS2(5.5yo) still occasionally asks where's DDs penis.

I will say though we are having to work on DS2s speech and language, but he is offically within normal limits in terms of assessments.

#6 B.feral3

Posted 11 December 2012 - 08:01 PM

My just turned 4 year old has no idea if he is a girl or a boy let alone anyone else!!

#7 mayahlb

Posted 12 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

My 4 year old doesn't really distinguish between girls and boys. He does have a speech delay though and we are just introducing these concepts into his speech, mainly for vocab and gammer building. His understanding is normal for his age though and he still doesn't really define boy or girl. It will come though, until then I'm liking it though as there are no gender stereotypes being pushed on him

#8 Fillyjonk

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:04 AM

Owen turned four in November and is convinced that Percy from Thomas is a girl, or rather a "lady." He muddles up pronouns all the time. I think perhaps you wouldnt notice it so much,  OP, if it did not bother your other son?

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


9 things I need to thank my parents for

You really don't realise everything your parents did for you until you find yourself doing them for your own children ... vomit catching and all.

The adventurous baby who's already putting safety first

When you're a baby, even getting off a bed and onto the floor can be a tricky procedure.

The story behind the love video that went viral

It is a quiet video, less than a half-minute long. It features no flourishes to speak of. It has no kittens doing kitten things. None of the things that often make a video go viral.

Anthony and Elle Watmough's joyous news as baby cleared of fatal condition

Rugby league star Anthony Watmough and his wife Elle have shared their joy at learning their unborn baby, who was thought to have Trisomy 18, was cleared of the fatal condition.

Win a family farmstay with Shaun the Sheep

To celebrate the Home Entertainment release of Shaun the Sheep Movie, Essential Kids and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are offering one winner and their family a holiday to a farm.

How I learnt to be a better friend

I may have lost that particular friend years ago, but I have gained so much from that experience.

What goes in the nappy bag?

It's far more than just a bag for nappies - it's the travel companion for your baby that should contain all the things you might need when away from home base.

The nature naming trend

The biggest joy of our daughter's name is that people really light up when they hear it (pun intended).

Win a Justine Clarke Pyjama Jam! prize pack

The Pyjama Jam! tour will see Justine Clarke returning to more intimate venues around Australia, creating the perfect comfy and cozy atmosphere for a PJ party.

Parents of baby born without part of his skull stand up to critics

When Brittany and Brandon Buell's son Jaxon was born missing much of his brain and skull, doctors said he only had days to live.

Baby plans are 'none of your business'

Emily Bingham had been asked about her baby making plans one too many times. 

Diet shakes to lose weight? Think again

Thinking of investing in meal replacement shakes to slim down ahead of summer?

Study offers support for cancer treatment during pregnancy

It is among the most delicate and difficult dilemmas in medicine: Should a pregnant woman who has received a cancer diagnosis begin treatment before her child is born?

Awards 2015: Vote now for a chance to win $2000

Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.

64 baby names based in nature

Looking for a baby name with a nod to nature, or one with an organic meaning? Check out our list to get inspired.

What coffee does to your body

That cup of Joe is just the boost your body needs.

Mum leaves triplets at hospital because she can't afford them

An illiterate and poverty stricken mother has abandoned her newborn triplets at hospital because she cannot afford to care for them.

I gave my daughter up for adoption - then tried to be her mum

The first time my oldest daughter called me 'Mum', she was 17.

Rainbow Babies lighting up the internet

A recent Facebook photo post is prompting widespread discussion of an emotional topic for many parents: rainbow babies.

The new wave of virgins giving birth

Dozens of young women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, it has been reported.

'It sort of became an addiction': parents buying, reselling Bonds Wondersuits

Your baby might be crawling around in hundreds of dollars worth of clothing.

Adjusting your child to daylight savings time

A one-hour difference to the day is pretty big deal when you're little.

Born too soon: life on the margins of existence

The frontiers of life are advancing ever further into uncharted territory.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



What are your favourite baby products?

The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.