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4yo struggles to determine gender.

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#1 fionah

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:22 PM

Cam turned 4 in August. It was noted at an OT/speech therapy assessment earlier in the year that he has difficulty recognising the gender of characters and people. Ray (7yo with ASD and ADD characteristics) is getting very frustrated with Cam calling things by the incorrect gender.
Are there any other kids like that? Does anyone have experience of their child growing out of this? The therapists weren't concerned about it, but I can't remember what they said I should expect.

Thanks for your replies,

Fi  cool.gif

#2 WithSprinkles

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:30 PM

Does he have difficulty recognising the gender or is it that he has difficulty using the correct pronoun (e.g. he/she)?

At that age it can be common to mix up pronouns, and if it is a problem of just using the correct pronouns perhaps you could work on it with him (e.g. directly telling him - we use the word "she" for girls and "he" for boys, and then practice using the words "he" and "she", e.g. Is this picture of a boy or a girl? What word do we use for a girl? he or she? etc).

#3 fionah

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:38 PM

Thanks Vanillaicecream.

Now I have thought more about it after my OP and I thought he was just getting the pronouns mixed up, but when looking at a character, he has trouble recognising the gender.
He has trouble identifying features of Stereotypical western gender (eg. a lady wears a dress. A man has a moustache) and names as being boys or girls names. Tonights immediate example. Cameron's middle name is James. We have told Cam he is a boy, but he insists that James from Thomas the Tank is a girl. He often thinks people change their sexes and doesn't understand that I have been a girl all of my life. He often asks questions about when I was a little boy, and stubbornly insists I was once a little boy.

It's all a little bit confusing. I am sure my hubby would say I am worrying about nothing, but I would like to see how others have faired with the same issue.


#4 papilio

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

I remember thinking that I was going to be a man when I grew up - I'm not sure how old I was though!  I am most certainly a woman though!

Dexie has just turned 5 and he's pretty much got the gender thing down pat now.

#5 VeritasVinum

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:44 PM

In terms of pronoun use my 5.5 yo still calls most people He.

Probably it has just been the pat year he got gender identification correct.

I remember DS1 at 4 yrs insisting that when his little brother grew up he would be a girl.  DS2(5.5yo) still occasionally asks where's DDs penis.

I will say though we are having to work on DS2s speech and language, but he is offically within normal limits in terms of assessments.

#6 B.feral3

Posted 11 December 2012 - 08:01 PM

My just turned 4 year old has no idea if he is a girl or a boy let alone anyone else!!

#7 mayahlb

Posted 12 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

My 4 year old doesn't really distinguish between girls and boys. He does have a speech delay though and we are just introducing these concepts into his speech, mainly for vocab and gammer building. His understanding is normal for his age though and he still doesn't really define boy or girl. It will come though, until then I'm liking it though as there are no gender stereotypes being pushed on him

#8 Fillyjonk

Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:04 AM

Owen turned four in November and is convinced that Percy from Thomas is a girl, or rather a "lady." He muddles up pronouns all the time. I think perhaps you wouldnt notice it so much,  OP, if it did not bother your other son?

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