Jump to content

The real reason why girls play hard to get.


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 Hayleymumof3

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

QUOTE
FOR generations, suitors have suspected that playing hard to get is a feminine wile dreamt up solely to try their patience.
It seems, however, that there are sound evolutionary reasons why treating a man mean is the best way to keep him keen.
According to psychologists who examined a host of much-used strategies, women blow hot and cold with a possible partner to test his commitment and quality.
Researchers analysed 58 infuriating strategies used by women playing hard to get.
They ranged from flirting with others and being "snooty" to letting a suitor's call divert to voicemail.
The study, reported in the European Journal of Personality, asked more than 1,500 men and women which tactics worked best.
The most successful feminine wiles included appearing highly self-confident, talking to other people, withholding sex, sarcasm, sounding busy, teasing, flirting with others and turning down the first few dates.
Overall, women were more likely than men to play hard to get, the researchers from the University of Western Sydney and Singapore Management University discovered.
The researchers suggested that was because women are trying to ensure a potential mate will stand by them once they have a child.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relations...8#ixzz2Ei4VEQ1q

Could it be that we aren't actually playing "hard to get" and could be because we just aren't interested?

Apparently not it's all got to do with babies it seems.

#2 FeralFerretOfDoom

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:25 PM

Makes me wonder about the gender make-up of the research team...



#3 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:38 PM

And the point is? (of the research not the thread!) don't they have diseases they could be working on, maybe because we are choosy? original.gif

#4 Georgie01

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

QUOTE
Makes me wonder about the gender make-up of the research team...


I can't get hold of the whole paper right now but the abstract and article don't line up exactly so I can't tell if they've got the conclusions accurately represented.

The authors are Peter K Jonason and Norman P Li... Google tells me that the first author is single...

#5 Cat Burglar

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

QUOTE (Georgie01 @ 11/12/2012, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can't get hold of the whole paper right now but the abstract and article don't line up exactly so I can't tell if they've got the conclusions accurately represented.

The authors are Peter K Jonason and Norman P Li... Google tells me that the first author is single...


obviously because hes playing hard to get!  biggrin.gif rolleyes.gif

#6 Feral_Pooks

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:52 PM

So for it to be a genetic "thing" wouldn't it have to be true cross culturally? And across eras? Coz it's not.

#7 Georgie01

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

QUOTE
obviously because hes playing hard to get! biggrin.gif rolleyes.gif


No, that's not what he says

#8 purplekitty

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:55 PM

Here's some more of their research.

Jonason, P.K., Li, N.P., & Richardson, J. (2010). Positioning the booty-call on the spectrum of relationships: Sexual but more emotional than one-night stands. Journal of Sex Research, 47, 1-10.

Jonason, P.K., Li, N.P., & Cason, M.J. (2009). The "booty call": A compromise between men and women’s ideal mating strategies. Journal of Sex Research, 46, 1-11.

The European Journal of Personality is ranked 8th. in social psychology according to Wiki if that tells you something.

#9 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

I dont think there is anything wrong with being hard to get.

I want to get to know someone and really really really like them alot before I sleep with them.

Im not playing hard to get, I am hard to get. Just because you go on a date with someone doesnt mean you have to sleep with them, what if you find at the end of the date you dont really like them?




#10 julzely

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:04 PM

I think the authors need to have a read of this article



#11 kadoodle

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:12 PM

QUOTE (- Poppy - @ 11/12/2012, 03:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im not playing hard to get, I am hard to get. J


Exactly.  I'm fussy about my shoes, FFS, and they just go on my feet.

The term "playing" sh*ts me to tears, actually.  The assumption that anything with a vagina is automatically playing games and cockteasing the poor, innocent menz.


#12 BetteBoop

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

So women are just "more likely to play hard to get" according to the research. Presumably that means men play hard to get too just slightly less than women.

Funny that the headline doesn't say that.

#13 BadCat

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:28 PM

What blisteringly exciting research.  rolleyes.gif

You know why I played hard to get?  Oh wait, I didn't.  I don't play games with people's emotions.  If I wasn't interested I said so.  If I was, I said so.   Game playing in relationships sh*ts me.

#14 archygrouseferal

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

I had a quick look at the article.  The authors use a few possible explantions, but largely draw on evolutionary psychologay, which is, IMO, a crock.   They admit themselves that they 'may have been too reliant on an overly simplified concept of human sexual relationships'

Human beings are biological creatures and I would agree that we do have urges that affect what we do and think.  To extend that to say, in effect, that these urges are the only reasons for behaviour, or that they are so strong that they dominate human behaviour, regardless of other influences, is simplistic and reductionist.  How often do you see the 'men cheat because they are programmed to spread their seed' or 'women seek a mate who will be a good provider' argument?

It is an argument that is dangerously tied to an' is=ought' argument (i.e we do these things because it is inherent in humans - therefore it is natural, and therefore it is both unchangeable and morally right.)  It's been used by conservatives to oppose change in gender roles for a long, long time.

#15 Tigerdog

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE
'women seek a mate who will be a good provider' argument?


I agree, this argument just doesn't wash these days - in fact, the fact that women don't actually need a provider to look after them could be the reason why women can afford to be so fussy!

#16 Beanbag Warrior

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:40 PM

I'm easy to get, but it helps that I don't frequent places you'd find the usual variety of rubbish men.  Puts me several steps ahead of the game righ there.

#17 Jane Jetson

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:19 PM

QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 11/12/2012, 02:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So for it to be a genetic "thing" wouldn't it have to be true cross culturally? And across eras? Coz it's not.


Who has time to worry about such mere details when there's an essentialist bandwagon to push?

#18 CallMeFeral

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:29 PM

It's not rocket science. People tend to appreciate what they have to earn. People rarely find desperation attractive.
Why they try to gender bias it, I cannot imagine.

#19 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

QUOTE (julzely @ 11/12/2012, 03:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the authors need to have a read of this article


I was just going to link that.


#20 Liv_FERAL_sh

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

oh. my. god. How, in the name of all that is holy, did this sh*t a) get funding and b) get published!!!!???






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.