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The real reason why girls play hard to get.


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#1 Hayleymumof3

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

QUOTE
FOR generations, suitors have suspected that playing hard to get is a feminine wile dreamt up solely to try their patience.
It seems, however, that there are sound evolutionary reasons why treating a man mean is the best way to keep him keen.
According to psychologists who examined a host of much-used strategies, women blow hot and cold with a possible partner to test his commitment and quality.
Researchers analysed 58 infuriating strategies used by women playing hard to get.
They ranged from flirting with others and being "snooty" to letting a suitor's call divert to voicemail.
The study, reported in the European Journal of Personality, asked more than 1,500 men and women which tactics worked best.
The most successful feminine wiles included appearing highly self-confident, talking to other people, withholding sex, sarcasm, sounding busy, teasing, flirting with others and turning down the first few dates.
Overall, women were more likely than men to play hard to get, the researchers from the University of Western Sydney and Singapore Management University discovered.
The researchers suggested that was because women are trying to ensure a potential mate will stand by them once they have a child.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relations...8#ixzz2Ei4VEQ1q

Could it be that we aren't actually playing "hard to get" and could be because we just aren't interested?

Apparently not it's all got to do with babies it seems.

#2 FeralFerretOfDoom

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:25 PM

Makes me wonder about the gender make-up of the research team...



#3 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:38 PM

And the point is? (of the research not the thread!) don't they have diseases they could be working on, maybe because we are choosy? original.gif

#4 Georgie01

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

QUOTE
Makes me wonder about the gender make-up of the research team...


I can't get hold of the whole paper right now but the abstract and article don't line up exactly so I can't tell if they've got the conclusions accurately represented.

The authors are Peter K Jonason and Norman P Li... Google tells me that the first author is single...

#5 Cat Burglar

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

QUOTE (Georgie01 @ 11/12/2012, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can't get hold of the whole paper right now but the abstract and article don't line up exactly so I can't tell if they've got the conclusions accurately represented.

The authors are Peter K Jonason and Norman P Li... Google tells me that the first author is single...


obviously because hes playing hard to get!  biggrin.gif rolleyes.gif

#6 Feral_Pooks

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:52 PM

So for it to be a genetic "thing" wouldn't it have to be true cross culturally? And across eras? Coz it's not.

#7 Georgie01

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

QUOTE
obviously because hes playing hard to get! biggrin.gif rolleyes.gif


No, that's not what he says

#8 purplekitty

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:55 PM

Here's some more of their research.

Jonason, P.K., Li, N.P., & Richardson, J. (2010). Positioning the booty-call on the spectrum of relationships: Sexual but more emotional than one-night stands. Journal of Sex Research, 47, 1-10.

Jonason, P.K., Li, N.P., & Cason, M.J. (2009). The "booty call": A compromise between men and women’s ideal mating strategies. Journal of Sex Research, 46, 1-11.

The European Journal of Personality is ranked 8th. in social psychology according to Wiki if that tells you something.

#9 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:03 PM

I dont think there is anything wrong with being hard to get.

I want to get to know someone and really really really like them alot before I sleep with them.

Im not playing hard to get, I am hard to get. Just because you go on a date with someone doesnt mean you have to sleep with them, what if you find at the end of the date you dont really like them?




#10 julzely

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:04 PM

I think the authors need to have a read of this article



#11 kadoodle

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:12 PM

QUOTE (- Poppy - @ 11/12/2012, 03:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im not playing hard to get, I am hard to get. J


Exactly.  I'm fussy about my shoes, FFS, and they just go on my feet.

The term "playing" sh*ts me to tears, actually.  The assumption that anything with a vagina is automatically playing games and cockteasing the poor, innocent menz.


#12 BetteBoop

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

So women are just "more likely to play hard to get" according to the research. Presumably that means men play hard to get too just slightly less than women.

Funny that the headline doesn't say that.

#13 BadCat

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:28 PM

What blisteringly exciting research.  rolleyes.gif

You know why I played hard to get?  Oh wait, I didn't.  I don't play games with people's emotions.  If I wasn't interested I said so.  If I was, I said so.   Game playing in relationships sh*ts me.

#14 archygrouseferal

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

I had a quick look at the article.  The authors use a few possible explantions, but largely draw on evolutionary psychologay, which is, IMO, a crock.   They admit themselves that they 'may have been too reliant on an overly simplified concept of human sexual relationships'

Human beings are biological creatures and I would agree that we do have urges that affect what we do and think.  To extend that to say, in effect, that these urges are the only reasons for behaviour, or that they are so strong that they dominate human behaviour, regardless of other influences, is simplistic and reductionist.  How often do you see the 'men cheat because they are programmed to spread their seed' or 'women seek a mate who will be a good provider' argument?

It is an argument that is dangerously tied to an' is=ought' argument (i.e we do these things because it is inherent in humans - therefore it is natural, and therefore it is both unchangeable and morally right.)  It's been used by conservatives to oppose change in gender roles for a long, long time.

#15 Tigerdog

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE
'women seek a mate who will be a good provider' argument?


I agree, this argument just doesn't wash these days - in fact, the fact that women don't actually need a provider to look after them could be the reason why women can afford to be so fussy!

#16 désir d'amour

Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:40 PM

I'm easy to get, but it helps that I don't frequent places you'd find the usual variety of rubbish men.  Puts me several steps ahead of the game righ there.

#17 Jane F. Jetson

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:19 PM

QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 11/12/2012, 02:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So for it to be a genetic "thing" wouldn't it have to be true cross culturally? And across eras? Coz it's not.


Who has time to worry about such mere details when there's an essentialist bandwagon to push?

#18 CallMeFeral

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:29 PM

It's not rocket science. People tend to appreciate what they have to earn. People rarely find desperation attractive.
Why they try to gender bias it, I cannot imagine.

#19 Feral like a Lemon

Posted 11 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

QUOTE (julzely @ 11/12/2012, 03:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the authors need to have a read of this article


I was just going to link that.


#20 Cat People

Posted 11 December 2012 - 08:16 PM

QUOTE (julzely @ 11/12/2012, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the authors need to have a read of this article


That was fantastic.  They need to print that out and send it to every man on this planet.

The type of 'research' quoted in the OP, when taken to the extreme, just plays into the rapist/stalkers' hands.  I've had guys in the past that I have been very clear with, and yet they've still persisted.  In hindsight I realize they probably thought I was "playing hard to get" when I just wanted them to bugger off.  


#21 Liv_FERAL_sh

Posted 12 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

oh. my. god. How, in the name of all that is holy, did this sh*t a) get funding and b) get published!!!!???






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