Jump to content

How to make it up to my child
After losing it this morning


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 scjoh

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:30 PM

Hi everyone

I am finding the end of year really stressful emotionally and financially. I have barely been getting any sleep and am feeling on edge. This morning my child broke something very important and I lost the plot. I screamed so loudly and said some very horrible things. I feel so terrible. Once I calmed down I apologised and gave my LO a big hug and cuddle.  I still feel so bad that I did that and I want to know how I can put things right

TIA

#2 Libster

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:34 PM

I think the fact that you apologised and gave her a hug would be enough, we all lose our cool sometimes.

#3 Therese

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:35 PM

I think that acknowledging that you were wrong to yell like that and that you are sorry is the most important way of making it right.

Be gentle to yourself too, this time of year is really tough on lots of people.

#4 rainycat

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:36 PM

Don't hang it on yourself.  
You are human, i think many of us have cracked and had a yell at least once.
You apologised so move forward and try not to let the guilt take over.

#5 babatjie

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

I would just say sorry, explain sometimes adults are really worried about other things and then they get upset easily. Say sorry and that you love them. Just let them be until they feel happy to come back to you. Don't force your affection on them. Kids forgive and forget.

#6 boopyscreet

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:41 PM

I saw a counsellor earlier in the year (diagnosed with PND) after yelling at DD1 a lot. The counsellor told me that the important thing when you lose the plot with kids is the repair. So as long as you spend more time on the kisses and cuddles and tell them you are sorry then the yelling is not the thing that they will remember.

Hope that helps. xx

#7 premmie

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:42 PM

I could have written your post today. Ds ripped up my 30th birthday card from Dh, hand made with photos of the family inside. I told him three times to be gentle....and then totally lost the plot. We have apologies and big kisses and cuddles. Not much more we cand o really, still I feel terrible because heis in daycare today and really it should have been put in a place he could reach...

#8 tle

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:46 PM

I agree with others. It's important for kids to see adults make mistakes too so that they can learn how to react themselves when they do the same thing. They need to know it's OK not to be perfect and you'll love them anyway - just like they will still love you even though you made a mistake.

#9 crankybee

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:31 PM

I always say sorry when it's my fault. And I acknowledge what I'm sorry for - I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I was so angry. I really think it is so important and that's all they want, a cuddle and an apology.

#10 JJ

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

QUOTE (boopyscreet @ 11/12/2012, 11:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I saw a counsellor earlier in the year (diagnosed with PND) after yelling at DD1 a lot. The counsellor told me that the important thing when you lose the plot with kids is the repair. So as long as you spend more time on the kisses and cuddles and tell them you are sorry then the yelling is not the thing that they will remember.


This - and also, once apologies have been made, move on. Tomorrow is a new day - don't keep talking about it. I'm not suggesting that you would, but I've found with my kids that it's important not to keep reminding them of the incident, even though you may still feel guilty for a while.

#11 d&s

Posted 11 December 2012 - 03:32 PM

I lost it last week and apologised with a hug but Miss 5 said she would have been put in the naughty spot so why wasn't I. I took it as a very fair point that we all follow the same rules in the house and (gratefully) went and sat in the naughty spot. Unfortunately not the same rules apply and I didn't get 30+ minutes of peace and quiet...

#12 peking homunculus

Posted 11 December 2012 - 03:36 PM

Not sure how old your child is but the book Harriet Harris by Mem Fox is perfect for this situation.

#13 epl0822

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:00 PM

My dad lost his temper in a bad way a few times when I was growing up. It was not a frequent occurrence but it did hurt me a lot when it happened. But as I grew older and understood why (incredibly stressful job, scars from his own childhood etc) I came to forgive and empathise. My dad is not a perfect man but this is one flaw and he has so many wonderful qualities about him that make him a brilliant father. As an adult I can honestly say his losing his temper a few times during my childhood has no bearing on my relationship with him. I hope you are kind to yourself and realise you will make mistakes - but thankfully children are resilient and tend to bounce back from the occasional error, even grave ones, of a loving parent. You apologised and that's a wonderful example to your child of how you can admit and take ownership of your mistake. That is what your kids will remember of you later on.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Decluttering before Christmas: tips for managing the toy influx

Deciding how many toys you want to keep and enforcing a limit can help manage the sheer volume of playthings.

86-year-old taught himself to knit, now makes caps for premature babies

'Anything is possible if you put your mind to it' might just be the motto of 86 year-old retiree, Ed Moseley who despite his age and abilities has been gifting handmade knitted caps to premature babies.

Want healthy kids? Let them play in the mud, feed them allergenic foods - and get a dog

If you read about children's health, you've heard a lot of this before.

Photo captures mum's shock at delivery room surprise

Life can be full of surprises, but for this couple a surprise came in a very unexpected way.

Baby's family in law suit over RAAF base chemicals

A 10-month-old baby has been exposed to significant levels of toxic chemicals around a RAAF base near Newcastle, say his parents.

Childcare worker investigated after threatening toddler's mother

An early childhood teacher has been censured for serious misconduct after she threatened the mother of a young child.

Scottish baby names

Scotland, the wind and water-hewn land of the loch, the kilt and the heather. Bedecked in castles great and small, there are many Australians with Scottish heritage who could look to that fair country for baby name inspiration.

Do we need more parking spaces for parents?

The Give Me Space campaign is collecting stories from mums who have had difficult experiences while trying to find safe parking.

Gender neutral parenting: what it's really like

If you want to take a leaf out of Clare's book in gender neutral parenting, her advice is simple: "Follow the children's lead, and you can't go wrong."

The vital question no parent wants to think about

Since becoming a mother I sometimes wonder what would happen to my babies if their dad and I both died.

6 parents to stop judging right now

It's worth looking a little more closely at some common parenting missteps. Could it be these mums and dads are really just like you and me?

Ryan Reynolds shares delivery room tips for expectant dads

If your partner is heading to the delivery room any time soon, you've got to see Ryan Reynolds' video on dealing with the intricacies of the delivery room.

The trials and tribulations of teenage mums, 10 years later

Having her first baby at 16 was a shock for Simone Miller, but it's not something she regrets.

Grandma falls head over heels for baby - literally

Usually Valerie Sharp's plan to put her granddaughter into her cot works just fine, but when things go wrong it is hilarious.

My toddler wants all my attention all of the time - help!

This is a stage, and you and she will move through it. I can (almost) promise it.

Cotton On KIDS' cute new baby prewalker shoes

Oh watch out folks, Cotton On KIDS' baby range has just become even cuter with the release of its first ever prewalker shoe collection.

Why I love the superhero phase

My twins are heading towards three and have officially entered the superhero phase. It happened almost overnight.

I'm caught in a 'mumpetition' with my friend and I'm losing it

My best friend and I had children within a year of each other. She thinks her child is God's gift to the world.

A year of motherhood: my survival story

Motherhood burns you down, but it rebuilds you too.

Five traps to be aware of when reading IVF clinic websites

Clinics provide IVF success rates in often confusing ways because there is no agreed format on how this information should be presented.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

What pregnancy is really like: mums share their honest opinions

We asked real women what surprised them during their pregnancy. They've shared their experiences in the hope of preparing the rest of us better for the ride

The truth about big-headed babies

Research suggests that big headed babies become more intelligent than their smaller peers. One mum shares the positives and negatives of having a big headed baby.

How to encourage your baby's gross motor development skills

There are some everyday things that parents can do to improve gross motor skills and coordination.

'My baby's extra thumb saved her life'

A mum whose daughter was born with an extra thumb says that the extra digit saved her life.

He gave her his liver, she gave him her heart

Heather Krueger and Chris Dempsey's origin story began in a darker place than most: with stage 4 liver cancer.

Toilet training from birth? It is possible

This method, called elimination communication (EC or assisted infant toilet training), is becoming increasingly popular in the West.

Watch hilarious montage of strangest pregnancy questions on Yahoo Answers

Some of the strangest questions about pregnancy - and some of the most bizarre spelling - have made for a hilarious video.

How to reduce your chances of perineal tearing in birth

The use of heat packs, along with other aspects of clinical care, can reduce your risk of tearing in birth.

 

Baby Names

Unusual Celeb Baby Names

Click through the gallery to read the details and see some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.