Jump to content

How to make it up to my child
After losing it this morning


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 scjoh

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:30 PM

Hi everyone

I am finding the end of year really stressful emotionally and financially. I have barely been getting any sleep and am feeling on edge. This morning my child broke something very important and I lost the plot. I screamed so loudly and said some very horrible things. I feel so terrible. Once I calmed down I apologised and gave my LO a big hug and cuddle.  I still feel so bad that I did that and I want to know how I can put things right

TIA

#2 Libster

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:34 PM

I think the fact that you apologised and gave her a hug would be enough, we all lose our cool sometimes.

#3 Therese

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:35 PM

I think that acknowledging that you were wrong to yell like that and that you are sorry is the most important way of making it right.

Be gentle to yourself too, this time of year is really tough on lots of people.

#4 rainycat

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:36 PM

Don't hang it on yourself.  
You are human, i think many of us have cracked and had a yell at least once.
You apologised so move forward and try not to let the guilt take over.

#5 babatjie

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

I would just say sorry, explain sometimes adults are really worried about other things and then they get upset easily. Say sorry and that you love them. Just let them be until they feel happy to come back to you. Don't force your affection on them. Kids forgive and forget.

#6 boopyscreet

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:41 PM

I saw a counsellor earlier in the year (diagnosed with PND) after yelling at DD1 a lot. The counsellor told me that the important thing when you lose the plot with kids is the repair. So as long as you spend more time on the kisses and cuddles and tell them you are sorry then the yelling is not the thing that they will remember.

Hope that helps. xx

#7 premmie_29weeks

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:42 PM

I could have written your post today. Ds ripped up my 30th birthday card from Dh, hand made with photos of the family inside. I told him three times to be gentle....and then totally lost the plot. We have apologies and big kisses and cuddles. Not much more we cand o really, still I feel terrible because heis in daycare today and really it should have been put in a place he could reach...

#8 tle

Posted 11 December 2012 - 12:46 PM

I agree with others. It's important for kids to see adults make mistakes too so that they can learn how to react themselves when they do the same thing. They need to know it's OK not to be perfect and you'll love them anyway - just like they will still love you even though you made a mistake.

#9 crankybee

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:31 PM

I always say sorry when it's my fault. And I acknowledge what I'm sorry for - I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I was so angry. I really think it is so important and that's all they want, a cuddle and an apology.

#10 JJ

Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

QUOTE (boopyscreet @ 11/12/2012, 11:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I saw a counsellor earlier in the year (diagnosed with PND) after yelling at DD1 a lot. The counsellor told me that the important thing when you lose the plot with kids is the repair. So as long as you spend more time on the kisses and cuddles and tell them you are sorry then the yelling is not the thing that they will remember.


This - and also, once apologies have been made, move on. Tomorrow is a new day - don't keep talking about it. I'm not suggesting that you would, but I've found with my kids that it's important not to keep reminding them of the incident, even though you may still feel guilty for a while.

#11 d&s

Posted 11 December 2012 - 03:32 PM

I lost it last week and apologised with a hug but Miss 5 said she would have been put in the naughty spot so why wasn't I. I took it as a very fair point that we all follow the same rules in the house and (gratefully) went and sat in the naughty spot. Unfortunately not the same rules apply and I didn't get 30+ minutes of peace and quiet...

#12 peking homunculus

Posted 11 December 2012 - 03:36 PM

Not sure how old your child is but the book Harriet Harris by Mem Fox is perfect for this situation.

#13 epl0822

Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:00 PM

My dad lost his temper in a bad way a few times when I was growing up. It was not a frequent occurrence but it did hurt me a lot when it happened. But as I grew older and understood why (incredibly stressful job, scars from his own childhood etc) I came to forgive and empathise. My dad is not a perfect man but this is one flaw and he has so many wonderful qualities about him that make him a brilliant father. As an adult I can honestly say his losing his temper a few times during my childhood has no bearing on my relationship with him. I hope you are kind to yourself and realise you will make mistakes - but thankfully children are resilient and tend to bounce back from the occasional error, even grave ones, of a loving parent. You apologised and that's a wonderful example to your child of how you can admit and take ownership of your mistake. That is what your kids will remember of you later on.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Weirdest pregnancy products

From pee stick keepers to stylish sick bags, there are some very strange inventions out there for pregnant women.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.