Jump to content

Long School Bus trip for an 11 yr old
Freaking out


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 no spring chicken

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:08 PM

Hi,
We've just learned that our year 5 boy has been accepted to an independent school next year (Yr.6- he will have just turned 11) and this school is approx. 20 kms , or a 45-55mins STA school bus trip away.
Up until now he has been attending a local school that is literally around the corner and he currently rides to and from school. I admit that I assumed I would have to arrange  before and after school care for my younger child (who also attends local school) for at least a term so that I could drive DS1 to his new school, while he settles in.
DH has just said , no , apart from maybe the first week, he can catch the bus, it will be good for him. Besides that, the before and after school care will add to the financial stress that the new school's fees will place on us.
I am more than mildly freaking out.
We had planned for him to start in Yr.7 but with a long wait-list and no guarantee of a place we felt we needed to grab this opportunity for DS.
I should also add that after many years of back and forth between specialists (and their different opinions about DS1) he was diagnosed with PDD NOS last year. He is very high functioning and has been widely considered 'borderline'.
So am I being overly anxious? I see tons of kids getting on and off buses but now that mine will be one of them he seems too young.
He will of course be given a pre-paid phone so that he can communicate with us.
Can anyone out their share their stories w/ me . Preferably ones that will put my mind at ease.
Thanks.

Edited by no spring chicken, 09 December 2012 - 01:41 PM.


#2 liveworkplay

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:31 PM

I caught two public buses (interchanging in the CBD) to school for 6 years starting at 11. This was pre mobile phone days and I never ever had a negative experience.

#3 no spring chicken

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

Perhaps I should move this topic to the' kids w/ special needs' section?
Not sure how I do that.

#4 Franny and Zooey

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

There are a few kids with asd of various ages on our school bus, haven't heard of any problems.  You could ask your son to sit up front near the driver if you are concerned.

#5 MrsShine

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

Hi there,

My nephew is 10 yrs old and low on the autism spectrum and gets the bus to & from school each day which takes an hr each way. He LOVES it! My sister and her ex had been nervous too, (he started last year at this new school) but if anything he's become a lot more confident because of it.

Is this a school bus or public bus though?

My nephews bus is a private school bus, all the kids have their own seat where they sit each day so there is no stress about where to sit, who to sit next to etc. it also helped him make new friends which he'd had trouble with in the past.

#6 no spring chicken

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:59 PM

QUOTE (MrsShine @ 09/12/2012, 03:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi there,

My nephew is 10 yrs old and low on the autism spectrum and gets the bus to & from school each day which takes an hr each way. He LOVES it! My sister and her ex had been nervous too, (he started last year at this new school) but if anything he's become a lot more confident because of it.

Is this a school bus or public bus though?

My nephews bus is a private school bus, all the kids have their own seat where they sit each day so there is no stress about where to sit, who to sit next to etc. it also helped him make new friends which he'd had trouble with in the past.

It's a public school bus to a private school. I'd feel better if it was the school's own bus. He won't know anyone at the school barring a teacher who is a neighbour of ours.
I am a nervous Nellie who has a talent for catastrophising. It hasn't helped that there has been fresh media attention on the Daniel Morcombe tragedy. I cry every time I read something about that darling boy. I then imagine my boy missing his bus and standing alone at a bus stop. I don't think that wouldn't have crossed the mind of any parent though. mellow.gif

#7 i-candi

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:27 PM

Here is my year 7 experience of 2012 (I know your DS is only 11 though).

DS went to our local school which is a two minute drive - three in traffic.

For high school we chose an all boys Catholic school that was just over a 45 min drive there and just over an hour on way home.

There were 4 boys from the local primary that went there, the other 3 boys were sports orientated (high school was well known for its sports programs) and DS couldn't kick a ball so DS didn't know these boys as they were in lower school groups and DS had nothing in common with the other boys.

We wanted the Catholic all boys ethos and they do academics well so really DS knew no one when he started.

The school didn't really turn out for DS (DS couldn't cope with the rough boys attitudes) so next year he is going to a local Anglican school.

However apart from issues with the boys from his primary school trying to make DS watch porn !!!!!! Yep teased him because DS didn't want to look at porn  sad.gif   The school quickly jumped on these boys and it was all sorted the bus trip was ok. As it turned out another boy from the Catholic primary in town was in all the same classes as DS so they struck up a friendship.

DS came to love catching the bus because they would all get together on their iPhones and play games against each other. Having a nerd of a dad helped and DS had a great internet/phone connection so he would host servers so he ended up being popular.

There were two regrets DS had leaving his old school, one was missing his teachers and the other missing his bus driver!!!

I got his bus driver a movie gift certificate on his last bus drive just as a thank you for looking after DS. Year 7 boys are made to sit at the front of the bus in the first term for supervision (though the porn issue was first time  unsure.gif  ).

High school (or changing school) is a big thing and the distances are draining, DS would often fall asleep in the morning and afternoon bus trips. One day the boys didn't wake him in the morning to see if he would wake. Lucky for DS the girl school catches the bus and a girl from his primary woke him up!

If I was you I would make your DS catch the bus from day two. The dynamics of the bus will be forming in those early days and your DS needs to be a part of it. I know it's hard, it was hard for me letting go of DS as DS has anxiety and depression so it was a big thing letting him go. I worked at his primary so it was harder for me letting go than for him experiencing the new 'normal'. I made DS catch the bus on day two and I'm so glad I did. Same thing will happen next year at his new school, DH will take DS to school on day one and he will catch the bus in the afternoon and then after that it will always be the bus.

The only thing you need to worry about is ,if it is anything like us, his bus in the morning is the only one to go to school so if you miss it you don't go to school or a parent is late for work. Only happened once because DS got off the bus to get a book from me (I was in the car behind the bus as I went home to get the book he didn't need for school but wanted to read on the bus), DS didn't tell the bus driver to wait or even ask him if he could just get the book. The bus driver drove off and due to living semi rural, and there are about 3 busses leaving town at once you can't actually overtake to get to the next bus stop. Lucky DH had the day off so he took DS to school that day.

Don't let a bus trip turn you off a school, it is really character building. I know I loved the freedom of bussing and training to school. I got to walk through the city to change and I felt so 'old' original.gif although that was a lifetime ago and things have changed.

#8 no spring chicken

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:37 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 09/12/2012, 09:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Here is my year 7 experience of 2012 (I know your DS is only 11 though).

DS went to our local school which is a two minute drive - three in traffic.

For high school we chose an all boys Catholic school that was just over a 45 min drive there and just over an hour on way home.

There were 4 boys from the local primary that went there, the other 3 boys were sports orientated (high school was well known for its sports programs) and DS couldn't kick a ball so DS didn't know these boys as they were in lower school groups and DS had nothing in common with the other boys.

We wanted the Catholic all boys ethos and they do academics well so really DS knew no one when he started.

The school didn't really turn out for DS (DS couldn't cope with the rough boys attitudes) so next year he is going to a local Anglican school.

However apart from issues with the boys from his primary school trying to make DS watch porn !!!!!! Yep teased him because DS didn't want to look at porn  sad.gif   The school quickly jumped on these boys and it was all sorted the bus trip was ok. As it turned out another boy from the Catholic primary in town was in all the same classes as DS so they struck up a friendship.

DS came to love catching the bus because they would all get together on their iPhones and play games against each other. Having a nerd of a dad helped and DS had a great internet/phone connection so he would host servers so he ended up being popular.

There were two regrets DS had leaving his old school, one was missing his teachers and the other missing his bus driver!!!

I got his bus driver a movie gift certificate on his last bus drive just as a thank you for looking after DS. Year 7 boys are made to sit at the front of the bus in the first term for supervision (though the porn issue was first time  unsure.gif  ).

High school (or changing school) is a big thing and the distances are draining, DS would often fall asleep in the morning and afternoon bus trips. One day the boys didn't wake him in the morning to see if he would wake. Lucky for DS the girl school catches the bus and a girl from his primary woke him up!

If I was you I would make your DS catch the bus from day two. The dynamics of the bus will be forming in those early days and your DS needs to be a part of it. I know it's hard, it was hard for me letting go of DS as DS has anxiety and depression so it was a big thing letting him go. I worked at his primary so it was harder for me letting go than for him experiencing the new 'normal'. I made DS catch the bus on day two and I'm so glad I did. Same thing will happen next year at his new school, DH will take DS to school on day one and he will catch the bus in the afternoon and then after that it will always be the bus.

The only thing you need to worry about is ,if it is anything like us, his bus in the morning is the only one to go to school so if you miss it you don't go to school or a parent is late for work. Only happened once because DS got off the bus to get a book from me (I was in the car behind the bus as I went home to get the book he didn't need for school but wanted to read on the bus), DS didn't tell the bus driver to wait or even ask him if he could just get the book. The bus driver drove off and due to living semi rural, and there are about 3 busses leaving town at once you can't actually overtake to get to the next bus stop. Lucky DH had the day off so he took DS to school that day.

Don't let a bus trip turn you off a school, it is really character building. I know I loved the freedom of bussing and training to school. I got to walk through the city to change and I felt so 'old' original.gif although that was a lifetime ago and things have changed.


Thank you so much for your reply!
A little bit of the 'worry cloud' blew over.  
I've got a few more weeks to fret on it though!
At least his transition to year 7 will be easier.

#9 capper

Posted 10 December 2012 - 08:50 PM

Hi, my son is now 10 and in year 5.  He catches the bus with a.change of bus in the Sydney CBD.  It takes him about 45 minutes.  The kids at his school are very mobile.  They all catch public busses from about year 5.  The school is in the city and we live in the suburbs.  And yes.  A phone, always charged is necessary.  I usually get texts when leaving school, changing busses and when 5 minutes from home.  

And, they do love catching the bus together.  It is a great social outing.  ( my son is hearing impaired, so I worry about him not hearing cars)

#10 no spring chicken

Posted 10 December 2012 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (capper @ 10/12/2012, 09:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi, my son is now 10 and in year 5.  He catches the bus with a.change of bus in the Sydney CBD.  It takes him about 45 minutes.  The kids at his school are very mobile.  They all catch public busses from about year 5.  The school is in the city and we live in the suburbs.  And yes.  A phone, always charged is necessary.  I usually get texts when leaving school, changing busses and when 5 minutes from home.  

And, they do love catching the bus together.  It is a great social outing.  ( my son is hearing impaired, so I worry about him not hearing cars)


Thank you. My son also has unilateral hearing loss (wears an aid) so I too worry about his directional hearing and crossing roads etc.
My husband assures me that the bus travel will become a highlight of his day.
I hope this turns out to be true. I guess time will tell.

#11 capper

Posted 11 December 2012 - 06:46 AM

Snap. Unilateral lOSS right ear. Uses a hearing aid and fm at school. It is stressful, but they do it. Maybe just start off with lots of txts. It helps to reassure the parent they are ok.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.