Jump to content

edited
thanks for your input


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 cattivo lupo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:32 AM

.

Edited by cattivo lupo, 09 December 2012 - 02:33 PM.


#2 Lickety Split

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:37 AM

I would not give this woman any more of my time. She will probably just interpret any contact from you as bullying somehow.

#3 Tenacious C

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:37 AM

No.

She has made it abundantly clear that she wants to break ties, I think this friendship has well and truly run its course.

#4 EsmeLennox

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:41 AM

No, do not contact her. Ever.

#5 casime

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:42 AM

I would be having nothing to do with them.

This is one of those occasions where the phrase "with friends like these, who needs enemies?" seems to fit.

#6 Let_it_Rain

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:43 AM

I wouldn't be contacting her at all. From what you have written your friendship ended with your sons relationship and you are hanging on to something that is no longer there.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:44 AM

It all sounds so precarious and although it sounds like the friendship has well and truly run it's course I probably would wish her a happy birthday.



#8 baddmammajamma

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:46 AM

QUOTE (Jemstar @ 09/12/2012, 11:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No, do not contact her. Ever.


This.

I'm so sorry that you & your son have been treated so poorly sad.gif , but in this instance, you need to step away (for your own sakes!)

#9 cameo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:48 AM

I would absolutely not wish her happy birthday.  It is clear she is not wanting any type of friendship anymore, which is obviously upsetting for you, but from the sounds, you and your son might be better off away from them.

It's a worry she is so paranoid and that has the potential to get worse, so it's much better to stay well away sadly.

#10 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:51 AM

Not this year.

Maybe next year?


I think she has been crystal clear in her request that your two families break ties - yes it is hurtful and yes she might be somewhat unhinged... but she has been clear.

Your two families are no longer together.  The kids broke up and it seems that your friendship is also over.  Maybe you need to grieve that too?

But listen to what she has said and leave well enough alone.

#11 Phascogale

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:51 AM

Leave it and say nothing.  Never contact her again.  Not worth the angst.  She doesn't sound very interested and may go out of her way to make things bad for you.

Who knows what her daughter said about your son.  The only people who really know what happened between the two are your son and daughter.

#12 NunSoFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

No - I would respect the fact that she is wanting to sever all ties, and cease all contact.

Must be painful and confusing for you, OP, but I would leave it lie .

I understand you wish to offer her support - but she may nto be breaking down, she may have just changed.

At any rate, I don't think any overtures made would be appreciated.



#13 amabanana

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

I think you should let it go and not contact her.
She did ask your son not to go to her work and he did.  That made her uncomfortable and I can understand how she might feel threatened by that (right or wrong).  
I'm sorry, but there are always two sides to a story and maybe the woman actually is afraid of your son for some reason that you can't see.  Best to not contact her if she feels that way.

#14 fancie

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM



If anyone is controlling, it is her daughter for demanding that your son deliver the CD to her personally.

They sound completely self absorbed and toxic and not worth another moment's grief.

Put them behind you and move on.

#15 jennywin

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:59 AM

Seriously?!!  What sort of example are you setting your son?? Delete these people from yours and his life. You dont need them. Your son was almost committed because of them.  Put his needs above theirs/hers.  

Delete delete delete.

#16 dogsneaker

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:01 AM

Cease contacting her, she sounds like she's unable to shake some nasty perception (highly likely manipulated by her daughter) of the break up between her daughter's relationship with your son.

She has blocked and un-friended both you and your son numerous times. Read the writing on the wall. She has issues that she clearly has not been honest with you about since the break up.

Stay away from each other, the relationship is not worth saving. You've tried, you are the better wo(man).



#17 R2B2

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

i'd leave the situation well alone.



#18 cattivo lupo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

I guess I kind of knew the answer, and you've all confirmed it.  I am really sad about the whole thing.  And it is a really really strange situation. We were so close.  I would see her a couple times a week, we ate at each others houses, went out for meals without the kids, and went on holidays together.  We even saw each other Christmas day.  She was always saying I was like a sister, that we were all family sad.gif.  Apparently an extremely dysfunctional family that is now feuding sad.gif.  


Part of me feels guilty that if she is genuinely ill, that I'm letting her down by turning my back on her.  But, it's what she has said she wants sad.gif.

I don't think I'll ever let anyone that close again, I feel so burned.

#19 Tranquille

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:08 AM

I just want to say I really feel for you. I went through a similar situation with my daughter, it was horrible and she is still seeing a psych more than a year later. I sometimes see the boy around town and although I will smile and say hey, that is all I can manage. Don't contact her, just let it be

Edited by Rastasdog, 09 December 2012 - 11:11 AM.


#20 nano-tyrannus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:19 AM

QUOTE (cattivo lupo @ 09/12/2012, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess I kind of knew the answer, and you've all confirmed it. I am really sad about the whole thing. And it is a really really strange situation.


I found your OP quite intriguing so I looked at your previous topics to see how the situation has developed over time. Didn't find much at all (got a link?)... but I did see a few topics about facebook, do you think that perhaps your relationship would be in a better place now if you didn't have a facebook?

#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM

No. Do not contact her. These people aren't worth your time or energy.

#22 cattivo lupo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE (nano-tyrannus @ 09/12/2012, 12:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found your OP quite intriguing so I looked at your previous topics to see how the situation has developed over time. Didn't find much at all (got a link?)... but I did see a few topics about facebook, do you think that perhaps your relationship would be in a better place now if you didn't have a facebook?



This is pretty much the first I've posted of the situation.  It's been a hell of a year, and most of my anger and bitterness and sadness and regret is all typed away into word documents, rather than online.  All you would have found were posts about the wonderful friendship that was an unexpected gift.   I am grieved by the loss of that, or by the loss of what I thought it was.  At least they weren't married with children (which they used to talk about at age 15 and 16, which scared me, much too young).  The thing is, I never thought it would last, and I was ok with that.   I was more surprised it went on as long as it did.  


#23 Indefinable

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:34 PM

I would leave her alone.  She doesn't want any more contact so I would just leave it and move on.  The CD could have been posted if the girl really wanted it but my guess is she had ulterior motives for wanting your son to drop it off at her place and maybe didn't want her Mum to know?

Even if your ex-friend has mental health issues you can't help her.  It would need to be someone external from the situation.

Edited by Wishing Dandelion, 09 December 2012 - 12:35 PM.


#24 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

I think for everyone's sake you should let her go.

When I was 16 I dated a boy who introduced me to his mum as "the mother of his children". I was horrified. Marriage and children were very, very far down my to-do-list. His mother on the other hand was delighted, hugging me and calling me her "new daughter" all through lunch. I was so pleased to get out of there. I told my parents who put an end to him coming round effective immediately.

I also dated another boy who threatened suicide with every disagreement or if I sat with other people at lunch or if he was just having a bad day. I didn't cope well with that, but I think no 17 yo shouldn't have to be coping with it.

I guess I'm sharing this because I find it frightening how intense relationships get at such a young age. While I don't expect my daughter to hold on to her virginity like some sacred burden I sure as hell hope she at least no longer a teenager when she commits herself to someone else. I want her to be savvy, sensible, independent and to know not feel guilty for not being that into someone.


#25 BearBait

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

Step away. If her daughter was in a relationship 10 days after the break up there is more going on than she lets on. You cannot trust these people, stop thinking about them & move on. Obsessing over what's not there is no good for you.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Dad breastfeeds his babies

Trevor Macdonald has now been pregnant twice, and is successfully breastfeeding his newest family member.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.