Jump to content

edited
thanks for your input


  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#1 cattivo lupo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:32 AM

.

Edited by cattivo lupo, 09 December 2012 - 02:33 PM.


#2 Lickety Split

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:37 AM

I would not give this woman any more of my time. She will probably just interpret any contact from you as bullying somehow.

#3 Tenacious C

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:37 AM

No.

She has made it abundantly clear that she wants to break ties, I think this friendship has well and truly run its course.

#4 EsmeLennox

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:41 AM

No, do not contact her. Ever.

#5 casime

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:42 AM

I would be having nothing to do with them.

This is one of those occasions where the phrase "with friends like these, who needs enemies?" seems to fit.

#6 FeralDancesHere

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:43 AM

I wouldn't be contacting her at all. From what you have written your friendship ended with your sons relationship and you are hanging on to something that is no longer there.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:44 AM

It all sounds so precarious and although it sounds like the friendship has well and truly run it's course I probably would wish her a happy birthday.



#8 baddmammajamma

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:46 AM

QUOTE (Jemstar @ 09/12/2012, 11:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No, do not contact her. Ever.


This.

I'm so sorry that you & your son have been treated so poorly sad.gif , but in this instance, you need to step away (for your own sakes!)

#9 Cat People

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:46 AM

It really doesn't sound like she's had a breakdown.  I think she's shown her true colours.  Or her daughter has told her things about your son that may or may not be true.

Either way, I would leave it.  Don't send a message.

#10 cameo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:48 AM

I would absolutely not wish her happy birthday.  It is clear she is not wanting any type of friendship anymore, which is obviously upsetting for you, but from the sounds, you and your son might be better off away from them.

It's a worry she is so paranoid and that has the potential to get worse, so it's much better to stay well away sadly.

#11 CountryFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:51 AM

Not this year.

Maybe next year?


I think she has been crystal clear in her request that your two families break ties - yes it is hurtful and yes she might be somewhat unhinged... but she has been clear.

Your two families are no longer together.  The kids broke up and it seems that your friendship is also over.  Maybe you need to grieve that too?

But listen to what she has said and leave well enough alone.

#12 Phascogale

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:51 AM

Leave it and say nothing.  Never contact her again.  Not worth the angst.  She doesn't sound very interested and may go out of her way to make things bad for you.

Who knows what her daughter said about your son.  The only people who really know what happened between the two are your son and daughter.

#13 NunSoFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

No - I would respect the fact that she is wanting to sever all ties, and cease all contact.

Must be painful and confusing for you, OP, but I would leave it lie .

I understand you wish to offer her support - but she may nto be breaking down, she may have just changed.

At any rate, I don't think any overtures made would be appreciated.



#14 amabanana

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

I think you should let it go and not contact her.
She did ask your son not to go to her work and he did.  That made her uncomfortable and I can understand how she might feel threatened by that (right or wrong).  
I'm sorry, but there are always two sides to a story and maybe the woman actually is afraid of your son for some reason that you can't see.  Best to not contact her if she feels that way.

#15 fancie

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM



If anyone is controlling, it is her daughter for demanding that your son deliver the CD to her personally.

They sound completely self absorbed and toxic and not worth another moment's grief.

Put them behind you and move on.

#16 jennywin

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:59 AM

Seriously?!!  What sort of example are you setting your son?? Delete these people from yours and his life. You dont need them. Your son was almost committed because of them.  Put his needs above theirs/hers.  

Delete delete delete.

#17 dogsneaker

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:01 AM

Cease contacting her, she sounds like she's unable to shake some nasty perception (highly likely manipulated by her daughter) of the break up between her daughter's relationship with your son.

She has blocked and un-friended both you and your son numerous times. Read the writing on the wall. She has issues that she clearly has not been honest with you about since the break up.

Stay away from each other, the relationship is not worth saving. You've tried, you are the better wo(man).



#18 R2B2

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

i'd leave the situation well alone.



#19 cattivo lupo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

I guess I kind of knew the answer, and you've all confirmed it.  I am really sad about the whole thing.  And it is a really really strange situation. We were so close.  I would see her a couple times a week, we ate at each others houses, went out for meals without the kids, and went on holidays together.  We even saw each other Christmas day.  She was always saying I was like a sister, that we were all family sad.gif.  Apparently an extremely dysfunctional family that is now feuding sad.gif.  


Part of me feels guilty that if she is genuinely ill, that I'm letting her down by turning my back on her.  But, it's what she has said she wants sad.gif.

I don't think I'll ever let anyone that close again, I feel so burned.

#20 calimum

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:08 AM

I just want to say I really feel for you. I went through a similar situation with my daughter, it was horrible and she is still seeing a psych more than a year later. I sometimes see the boy around town and although I will smile and say hey, that is all I can manage. Don't contact her, just let it be

Edited by Rastasdog, 09 December 2012 - 11:11 AM.


#21 Cat People

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:11 AM

Sorry OP.   She might just need some time.

#22 nano-tyrannus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:19 AM

QUOTE (cattivo lupo @ 09/12/2012, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess I kind of knew the answer, and you've all confirmed it. I am really sad about the whole thing. And it is a really really strange situation.


I found your OP quite intriguing so I looked at your previous topics to see how the situation has developed over time. Didn't find much at all (got a link?)... but I did see a few topics about facebook, do you think that perhaps your relationship would be in a better place now if you didn't have a facebook?

#23 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM

No. Do not contact her. These people aren't worth your time or energy.

#24 cattivo lupo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE (nano-tyrannus @ 09/12/2012, 12:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found your OP quite intriguing so I looked at your previous topics to see how the situation has developed over time. Didn't find much at all (got a link?)... but I did see a few topics about facebook, do you think that perhaps your relationship would be in a better place now if you didn't have a facebook?



This is pretty much the first I've posted of the situation.  It's been a hell of a year, and most of my anger and bitterness and sadness and regret is all typed away into word documents, rather than online.  All you would have found were posts about the wonderful friendship that was an unexpected gift.   I am grieved by the loss of that, or by the loss of what I thought it was.  At least they weren't married with children (which they used to talk about at age 15 and 16, which scared me, much too young).  The thing is, I never thought it would last, and I was ok with that.   I was more surprised it went on as long as it did.  


#25 Indefinable

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:34 PM

I would leave her alone.  She doesn't want any more contact so I would just leave it and move on.  The CD could have been posted if the girl really wanted it but my guess is she had ulterior motives for wanting your son to drop it off at her place and maybe didn't want her Mum to know?

Even if your ex-friend has mental health issues you can't help her.  It would need to be someone external from the situation.

Edited by Wishing Dandelion, 09 December 2012 - 12:35 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Single, pregnant - and 51

She first became a mum at 49 - now, two years later, Tracey Khan is pregnant with her second child.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.