Jump to content

edited
thanks for your input


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 MagneticPoetry

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:32 AM

.

Edited by cattivo lupo, 09 December 2012 - 02:33 PM.


#2 Lickety Split

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:37 AM

I would not give this woman any more of my time. She will probably just interpret any contact from you as bullying somehow.

#3 Tenacious C

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:37 AM

No.

She has made it abundantly clear that she wants to break ties, I think this friendship has well and truly run its course.

#4 EsmeLennox

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:41 AM

No, do not contact her. Ever.

#5 casime

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:42 AM

I would be having nothing to do with them.

This is one of those occasions where the phrase "with friends like these, who needs enemies?" seems to fit.

#6 Let_it_Rain

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:43 AM

I wouldn't be contacting her at all. From what you have written your friendship ended with your sons relationship and you are hanging on to something that is no longer there.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:44 AM

It all sounds so precarious and although it sounds like the friendship has well and truly run it's course I probably would wish her a happy birthday.



#8 baddmammajamma

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:46 AM

QUOTE (Jemstar @ 09/12/2012, 11:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No, do not contact her. Ever.


This.

I'm so sorry that you & your son have been treated so poorly sad.gif , but in this instance, you need to step away (for your own sakes!)

#9 cameo

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:48 AM

I would absolutely not wish her happy birthday.  It is clear she is not wanting any type of friendship anymore, which is obviously upsetting for you, but from the sounds, you and your son might be better off away from them.

It's a worry she is so paranoid and that has the potential to get worse, so it's much better to stay well away sadly.

#10 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:51 AM

Not this year.

Maybe next year?


I think she has been crystal clear in her request that your two families break ties - yes it is hurtful and yes she might be somewhat unhinged... but she has been clear.

Your two families are no longer together.  The kids broke up and it seems that your friendship is also over.  Maybe you need to grieve that too?

But listen to what she has said and leave well enough alone.

#11 Phascogale

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:51 AM

Leave it and say nothing.  Never contact her again.  Not worth the angst.  She doesn't sound very interested and may go out of her way to make things bad for you.

Who knows what her daughter said about your son.  The only people who really know what happened between the two are your son and daughter.

#12 NunSoFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

No - I would respect the fact that she is wanting to sever all ties, and cease all contact.

Must be painful and confusing for you, OP, but I would leave it lie .

I understand you wish to offer her support - but she may nto be breaking down, she may have just changed.

At any rate, I don't think any overtures made would be appreciated.



#13 amabanana

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

I think you should let it go and not contact her.
She did ask your son not to go to her work and he did.  That made her uncomfortable and I can understand how she might feel threatened by that (right or wrong).  
I'm sorry, but there are always two sides to a story and maybe the woman actually is afraid of your son for some reason that you can't see.  Best to not contact her if she feels that way.

#14 fancie

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM



If anyone is controlling, it is her daughter for demanding that your son deliver the CD to her personally.

They sound completely self absorbed and toxic and not worth another moment's grief.

Put them behind you and move on.

#15 jennywin

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:59 AM

Seriously?!!  What sort of example are you setting your son?? Delete these people from yours and his life. You dont need them. Your son was almost committed because of them.  Put his needs above theirs/hers.  

Delete delete delete.

#16 dogsneaker

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:01 AM

Cease contacting her, she sounds like she's unable to shake some nasty perception (highly likely manipulated by her daughter) of the break up between her daughter's relationship with your son.

She has blocked and un-friended both you and your son numerous times. Read the writing on the wall. She has issues that she clearly has not been honest with you about since the break up.

Stay away from each other, the relationship is not worth saving. You've tried, you are the better wo(man).



#17 R2B2

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

i'd leave the situation well alone.



#18 MagneticPoetry

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

I guess I kind of knew the answer, and you've all confirmed it.  I am really sad about the whole thing.  And it is a really really strange situation. We were so close.  I would see her a couple times a week, we ate at each others houses, went out for meals without the kids, and went on holidays together.  We even saw each other Christmas day.  She was always saying I was like a sister, that we were all family sad.gif.  Apparently an extremely dysfunctional family that is now feuding sad.gif.  


Part of me feels guilty that if she is genuinely ill, that I'm letting her down by turning my back on her.  But, it's what she has said she wants sad.gif.

I don't think I'll ever let anyone that close again, I feel so burned.

#19 Tranquille

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:08 AM

I just want to say I really feel for you. I went through a similar situation with my daughter, it was horrible and she is still seeing a psych more than a year later. I sometimes see the boy around town and although I will smile and say hey, that is all I can manage. Don't contact her, just let it be

Edited by Rastasdog, 09 December 2012 - 11:11 AM.


#20 nano-tyrannus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:19 AM

QUOTE (cattivo lupo @ 09/12/2012, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess I kind of knew the answer, and you've all confirmed it. I am really sad about the whole thing. And it is a really really strange situation.


I found your OP quite intriguing so I looked at your previous topics to see how the situation has developed over time. Didn't find much at all (got a link?)... but I did see a few topics about facebook, do you think that perhaps your relationship would be in a better place now if you didn't have a facebook?

#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM

No. Do not contact her. These people aren't worth your time or energy.

#22 MagneticPoetry

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE (nano-tyrannus @ 09/12/2012, 12:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found your OP quite intriguing so I looked at your previous topics to see how the situation has developed over time. Didn't find much at all (got a link?)... but I did see a few topics about facebook, do you think that perhaps your relationship would be in a better place now if you didn't have a facebook?



This is pretty much the first I've posted of the situation.  It's been a hell of a year, and most of my anger and bitterness and sadness and regret is all typed away into word documents, rather than online.  All you would have found were posts about the wonderful friendship that was an unexpected gift.   I am grieved by the loss of that, or by the loss of what I thought it was.  At least they weren't married with children (which they used to talk about at age 15 and 16, which scared me, much too young).  The thing is, I never thought it would last, and I was ok with that.   I was more surprised it went on as long as it did.  


#23 Indefinable

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:34 PM

I would leave her alone.  She doesn't want any more contact so I would just leave it and move on.  The CD could have been posted if the girl really wanted it but my guess is she had ulterior motives for wanting your son to drop it off at her place and maybe didn't want her Mum to know?

Even if your ex-friend has mental health issues you can't help her.  It would need to be someone external from the situation.

Edited by Wishing Dandelion, 09 December 2012 - 12:35 PM.


#24 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

I think for everyone's sake you should let her go.

When I was 16 I dated a boy who introduced me to his mum as "the mother of his children". I was horrified. Marriage and children were very, very far down my to-do-list. His mother on the other hand was delighted, hugging me and calling me her "new daughter" all through lunch. I was so pleased to get out of there. I told my parents who put an end to him coming round effective immediately.

I also dated another boy who threatened suicide with every disagreement or if I sat with other people at lunch or if he was just having a bad day. I didn't cope well with that, but I think no 17 yo shouldn't have to be coping with it.

I guess I'm sharing this because I find it frightening how intense relationships get at such a young age. While I don't expect my daughter to hold on to her virginity like some sacred burden I sure as hell hope she at least no longer a teenager when she commits herself to someone else. I want her to be savvy, sensible, independent and to know not feel guilty for not being that into someone.


#25 BearBait

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:13 PM

Step away. If her daughter was in a relationship 10 days after the break up there is more going on than she lets on. You cannot trust these people, stop thinking about them & move on. Obsessing over what's not there is no good for you.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.