Jump to content

Just having a moment
(depression mentioned)


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:11 AM

I'm not really sure what I am hoping to achieve with this post.  Just sharing I guess, and hoping someone might be able to give me some hope.

I'm going through a rough time at the moment, and am just struggling a bit.

A brief history:

My husband left me after a 10 year marriage fraught with many problems.  He left me on Valentine's day, for another woman that he lined up via online dating.  During our marriage I had 4 miscarriages.  Finally we had our beautiful DS.  And then XH became suicidal and wanted to take both his life and our DS's.  Long story, lots of other issues.

After he left I lost our house.  Our DS was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (amongst a lot of other issues).

I had a head on collision into a tree (in the wet) and wrote off my car.

I have 20+ breast tumours which require constant monitoring, testing, biopsies etc.

Then earlier this year I met someone fantastic - 18 months after XH left.  For the first time in my life I felt genuine happiness.  And hope.  

Then he "discontinued our relationship" via email.  On our anniversary, and while I had gastro.

I was crushed.  More so than even when XH left.

Then later this year I met someone else.  He seemed fantastic, I liked him a lot.  Trusted him.  On Monday I found his profile on an online dating site.  And we broke up.


I'm in no way feeling sorry for myself with the above.  Just trying to explain how I have gotten to this point.

I guess I just look at everyone around me.  With partners, and families.  Happy and stable.

I am just struggling to find hope anymore.  When I look at the future I just see an endless struggle day in day out.  

I do have a long history of depression and anxiety.  I'm currently on anti-depressants.  I've seen more psychiatrists and psychologists than I can count.

So I guess I'm looking for stories of hope.  Of happy endings.  Of positivity.

Just trying to find reasons to keep battling through.

Thank you for reading if you have gotten this far  original.gif

(please please don't quote me.  There is a lot of identifying information which I will probably delete later.  Thank you)

Edited by ♥~Bodhichitta~♥, 09 December 2012 - 08:12 AM.


#2 Cherish

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:26 AM

I'm sorry you've had such a sh*t time sad.gif
Life's unfair sometimes.
I hope you find the happiness you deserve very soon.

#3 JRA

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:34 AM

OP: I really don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you.

I do have to admit I read through some of your old posts, and found your blog. I love the benefits of minimilastion. I am going to show it to DH.

#4 RichardParker

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

Please go to your doctor and get s referral to a psychologist.  There is hope- you've just had a pile of sh*t thrown at you. It may take some assistance and therapy for you to be able to see that.  

Xo.

#5 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:40 AM

Thank you for these replies - that does help.

It's ironic - after reaching breaking point last year I dedicated my life to helping others.  And spreading kindness.  And it's still something I believe passionately about (hence my blog).

I guess I'm just finding it hard right at this moment to keep going.

Thank you everyone  hheart.gif

#6 NunSoFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:03 AM

Please have hope.

You are making many ripples with each kind word and action.
Touching lives, which in turn, touch others.

These ripples will return ten-fold.

Hang in there Bodhichitta - the tide will turn.



#7 Chelli

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:39 AM

Thinking of you OP and hoping that things turn around for you very soon.  hhugs.gif

#8 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:14 AM

Thank you everyone  wub.gif

I was having a moment (as per my thread title).  I've realised it's time to put on my big girl pants again (worn on the outside) and get back to what I do best - helping others and trying to spread light and love and kindness.

For some reason it's my karma to go through lots of yucky stuff.  However that horrible stuff has also deepened my compassion and empathy and ability to help others.  And I truly think that is the reason behind it.

Sometimes I just get a bit overwhelmed with it all.



#9 kadoodle

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:22 AM

You are so strong and so brave, OP.  The world needs more souls like you.

#10 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:25 AM

Thank you Kadoodle  wub.gif

#11 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM

OP, its just an observation from your post, and it could be entirely wrong of course...

You seem to have set your 'benchmark for happiness' as being the same as your partnered friends and family, that is, you seem to think you need a partner for happiness.

I suspect part of the reason you're struggling is that you feel the need or obligation to be partnered, and this is impacting on how you view your life.

The truth is of couse very different. The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.

While dating and being with people is fun, maybe you should be looking more closely at a different benchmark - one that celebrates your inner-strength and your lovely soul. When you're getting joy and satisfaction from helping others, I think you may be closer to your own 'truth' than you could imagine.

#12 trebambinibelli

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:32 AM

OP you are stronger and more brave than you realise.  I don't know why we get hardships when we're already down, it's not fair sad.gif The fact that you're trying to turn hard times into a positive by helping others is to be greatly admired

#13 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:51 AM

Spikey - thank you, that is incredibly insightful.  And something that I am trying to work with, as I have realised this myself.  Particularly in light of the last relationship ending.  I'm working towards being strong and comfortable in my own skin.  Without the need for anyone else.  It's a process  happy.gif

Thank you again everyone for being there.  I think I just needed the hugs today.

Have been inspired to write this post... as a reminder to myself as well  original.gif

Don't give up

#14 R2B2

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:18 PM

bbighug.gif  you sound like an incredibly strong woman.



#15 raindotdot

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:28 PM

You sound brave to put that out there, I hope sharing your story can help you share the load just a little. Sending virtual hugs and support <3

#16 BearBait

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:39 PM

You are amazingly strong. Your son is blessed to have you for your love and example. I hope you also have some good friends IRL who can support you practically. Keep going, only you can do this.

#17 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:22 PM

Thank you so much for the beautiful comments and support  hheart.gif

#18 AprilEthereal

Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:12 PM

I'm really sorry that you have had so many difficult times and as others have pointed out, you are a resilient and strong person.

I agree with this though  
QUOTE
The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.


There is SO much to be taken from that and I encourage you to delve into this further.  Often in life people place their happiness, self worth on external things which is fraught with danger. The person is vulnerable, like a leaf being blown about in the forever changing windsof life and relationships.  Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.

#19 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:44 PM

QUOTE (AprilEthereal @ 09/12/2012, 04:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.


Actually this is something that I am really interested in exploring further, and something that I do want to able to do for myself.  

For me it's a matter of figuring out how best to do that.  Any suggestions or ideas are very welcome  original.gif

#20 AprilEthereal

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:16 PM

This works for me.   :-)   http://yogavic.org.au/retreats/living_consciously .

#21 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 10 December 2012 - 06:33 AM

QUOTE (AprilEthereal @ 09/12/2012, 10:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This works for me.   :-)   http://yogavic.org.au/retreats/living_consciously .


Thank you!!!!  biggrin.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.