Jump to content

Just having a moment
(depression mentioned)


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:11 AM

I'm not really sure what I am hoping to achieve with this post.  Just sharing I guess, and hoping someone might be able to give me some hope.

I'm going through a rough time at the moment, and am just struggling a bit.

A brief history:

My husband left me after a 10 year marriage fraught with many problems.  He left me on Valentine's day, for another woman that he lined up via online dating.  During our marriage I had 4 miscarriages.  Finally we had our beautiful DS.  And then XH became suicidal and wanted to take both his life and our DS's.  Long story, lots of other issues.

After he left I lost our house.  Our DS was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (amongst a lot of other issues).

I had a head on collision into a tree (in the wet) and wrote off my car.

I have 20+ breast tumours which require constant monitoring, testing, biopsies etc.

Then earlier this year I met someone fantastic - 18 months after XH left.  For the first time in my life I felt genuine happiness.  And hope.  

Then he "discontinued our relationship" via email.  On our anniversary, and while I had gastro.

I was crushed.  More so than even when XH left.

Then later this year I met someone else.  He seemed fantastic, I liked him a lot.  Trusted him.  On Monday I found his profile on an online dating site.  And we broke up.


I'm in no way feeling sorry for myself with the above.  Just trying to explain how I have gotten to this point.

I guess I just look at everyone around me.  With partners, and families.  Happy and stable.

I am just struggling to find hope anymore.  When I look at the future I just see an endless struggle day in day out.  

I do have a long history of depression and anxiety.  I'm currently on anti-depressants.  I've seen more psychiatrists and psychologists than I can count.

So I guess I'm looking for stories of hope.  Of happy endings.  Of positivity.

Just trying to find reasons to keep battling through.

Thank you for reading if you have gotten this far  original.gif

(please please don't quote me.  There is a lot of identifying information which I will probably delete later.  Thank you)

Edited by ♥~Bodhichitta~♥, 09 December 2012 - 08:12 AM.


#2 Cherish

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:26 AM

I'm sorry you've had such a sh*t time sad.gif
Life's unfair sometimes.
I hope you find the happiness you deserve very soon.

#3 JRA

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:34 AM

OP: I really don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you.

I do have to admit I read through some of your old posts, and found your blog. I love the benefits of minimilastion. I am going to show it to DH.

#4 RichardParker

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

Please go to your doctor and get s referral to a psychologist.  There is hope- you've just had a pile of sh*t thrown at you. It may take some assistance and therapy for you to be able to see that.  

Xo.

#5 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:40 AM

Thank you for these replies - that does help.

It's ironic - after reaching breaking point last year I dedicated my life to helping others.  And spreading kindness.  And it's still something I believe passionately about (hence my blog).

I guess I'm just finding it hard right at this moment to keep going.

Thank you everyone  hheart.gif

#6 NunSoFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:03 AM

Please have hope.

You are making many ripples with each kind word and action.
Touching lives, which in turn, touch others.

These ripples will return ten-fold.

Hang in there Bodhichitta - the tide will turn.



#7 Chelli

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:39 AM

Thinking of you OP and hoping that things turn around for you very soon.  hhugs.gif

#8 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:14 AM

Thank you everyone  wub.gif

I was having a moment (as per my thread title).  I've realised it's time to put on my big girl pants again (worn on the outside) and get back to what I do best - helping others and trying to spread light and love and kindness.

For some reason it's my karma to go through lots of yucky stuff.  However that horrible stuff has also deepened my compassion and empathy and ability to help others.  And I truly think that is the reason behind it.

Sometimes I just get a bit overwhelmed with it all.



#9 kadoodle

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:22 AM

You are so strong and so brave, OP.  The world needs more souls like you.

#10 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:25 AM

Thank you Kadoodle  wub.gif

#11 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM

OP, its just an observation from your post, and it could be entirely wrong of course...

You seem to have set your 'benchmark for happiness' as being the same as your partnered friends and family, that is, you seem to think you need a partner for happiness.

I suspect part of the reason you're struggling is that you feel the need or obligation to be partnered, and this is impacting on how you view your life.

The truth is of couse very different. The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.

While dating and being with people is fun, maybe you should be looking more closely at a different benchmark - one that celebrates your inner-strength and your lovely soul. When you're getting joy and satisfaction from helping others, I think you may be closer to your own 'truth' than you could imagine.

#12 trebambinibelli

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:32 AM

OP you are stronger and more brave than you realise.  I don't know why we get hardships when we're already down, it's not fair sad.gif The fact that you're trying to turn hard times into a positive by helping others is to be greatly admired

#13 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:51 AM

Spikey - thank you, that is incredibly insightful.  And something that I am trying to work with, as I have realised this myself.  Particularly in light of the last relationship ending.  I'm working towards being strong and comfortable in my own skin.  Without the need for anyone else.  It's a process  happy.gif

Thank you again everyone for being there.  I think I just needed the hugs today.

Have been inspired to write this post... as a reminder to myself as well  original.gif

Don't give up

#14 R2B2

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:18 PM

bbighug.gif  you sound like an incredibly strong woman.



#15 raindotdot

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:28 PM

You sound brave to put that out there, I hope sharing your story can help you share the load just a little. Sending virtual hugs and support <3

#16 BearBait

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:39 PM

You are amazingly strong. Your son is blessed to have you for your love and example. I hope you also have some good friends IRL who can support you practically. Keep going, only you can do this.

#17 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:22 PM

Thank you so much for the beautiful comments and support  hheart.gif

#18 AprilEthereal

Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:12 PM

I'm really sorry that you have had so many difficult times and as others have pointed out, you are a resilient and strong person.

I agree with this though  
QUOTE
The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.


There is SO much to be taken from that and I encourage you to delve into this further.  Often in life people place their happiness, self worth on external things which is fraught with danger. The person is vulnerable, like a leaf being blown about in the forever changing windsof life and relationships.  Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.

#19 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:44 PM

QUOTE (AprilEthereal @ 09/12/2012, 04:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.


Actually this is something that I am really interested in exploring further, and something that I do want to able to do for myself.  

For me it's a matter of figuring out how best to do that.  Any suggestions or ideas are very welcome  original.gif

#20 AprilEthereal

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:16 PM

This works for me.   :-)   http://yogavic.org.au/retreats/living_consciously .

#21 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 10 December 2012 - 06:33 AM

QUOTE (AprilEthereal @ 09/12/2012, 10:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This works for me.   :-)   http://yogavic.org.au/retreats/living_consciously .


Thank you!!!!  biggrin.gif




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.