Just having a moment
, Dec 09 2012 08:11 AM
20 replies to this topic
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:11 AM
I'm not really sure what I am hoping to achieve with this post. Just sharing I guess, and hoping someone might be able to give me some hope.
I'm going through a rough time at the moment, and am just struggling a bit.
A brief history:My husband left me after a 10 year marriage fraught with many problems. He left me on Valentine's day, for another woman that he lined up via online dating. During our marriage I had 4 miscarriages. Finally we had our beautiful DS. And then XH became suicidal and wanted to take both his life and our DS's. Long story, lots of other issues.
After he left I lost our house. Our DS was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (amongst a lot of other issues).
I had a head on collision into a tree (in the wet) and wrote off my car.
I have 20+ breast tumours which require constant monitoring, testing, biopsies etc.
Then earlier this year I met someone fantastic - 18 months after XH left. For the first time in my life I felt genuine happiness. And hope.
Then he "discontinued our relationship" via email. On our anniversary, and while I had gastro.
I was crushed. More so than even when XH left.
Then later this year I met someone else. He seemed fantastic, I liked him a lot. Trusted him. On Monday I found his profile on an online dating site. And we broke up.
I'm in no way feeling sorry for myself with the above. Just trying to explain how I have gotten to this point.
I guess I just look at everyone around me. With partners, and families. Happy and stable.
I am just struggling to find hope anymore. When I look at the future I just see an endless struggle day in day out.
I do have a long history of depression and anxiety. I'm currently on anti-depressants. I've seen more psychiatrists and psychologists than I can count.
So I guess I'm looking for stories of hope. Of happy endings. Of positivity.
Just trying to find reasons to keep battling through.
Thank you for reading if you have gotten this far
(please please don't quote me. There is a lot of identifying information which I will probably delete later. Thank you)
Edited by ♥~Bodhichitta~♥, 09 December 2012 - 08:12 AM.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:26 AM
I'm sorry you've had such a sh*t time
Life's unfair sometimes.
I hope you find the happiness you deserve very soon.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:34 AM
OP: I really don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you.
I do have to admit I read through some of your old posts, and found your blog. I love the benefits of minimilastion. I am going to show it to DH.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:35 AM
Please go to your doctor and get s referral to a psychologist. There is hope- you've just had a pile of sh*t thrown at you. It may take some assistance and therapy for you to be able to see that.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:40 AM
Thank you for these replies - that does help.
It's ironic - after reaching breaking point last year I dedicated my life to helping others. And spreading kindness. And it's still something I believe passionately about (hence my blog).
I guess I'm just finding it hard right at this moment to keep going.
Thank you everyone
Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:03 AM
Please have hope.
You are making many ripples with each kind word and action.
Touching lives, which in turn, touch others.
These ripples will return ten-fold.
Hang in there Bodhichitta - the tide will turn.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:39 AM
Thinking of you OP and hoping that things turn around for you very soon.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:14 AM
Thank you everyone
I was having a moment (as per my thread title). I've realised it's time to put on my big girl pants again (worn on the outside) and get back to what I do best - helping others and trying to spread light and love and kindness.
For some reason it's my karma to go through lots of yucky stuff. However that horrible stuff has also deepened my compassion and empathy and ability to help others. And I truly think that is the reason behind it.
Sometimes I just get a bit overwhelmed with it all.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:22 AM
You are so strong and so brave, OP. The world needs more souls like you.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:25 AM
Thank you Kadoodle
Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM
OP, its just an observation from your post, and it could be entirely wrong of course...
You seem to have set your 'benchmark for happiness' as being the same as your partnered friends and family, that is, you seem to think you need a partner for happiness.
I suspect part of the reason you're struggling is that you feel the need or obligation to be partnered, and this is impacting on how you view your life.
The truth is of couse very different. The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.
While dating and being with people is fun, maybe you should be looking more closely at a different benchmark - one that celebrates your inner-strength and your lovely soul. When you're getting joy and satisfaction from helping others, I think you may be closer to your own 'truth' than you could imagine.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:32 AM
OP you are stronger and more brave than you realise. I don't know why we get hardships when we're already down, it's not fair
The fact that you're trying to turn hard times into a positive by helping others is to be greatly admired
Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:51 AM
Spikey - thank you, that is incredibly insightful. And something that I am trying to work with, as I have realised this myself. Particularly in light of the last relationship ending. I'm working towards being strong and comfortable in my own skin. Without the need for anyone else. It's a process
Thank you again everyone for being there. I think I just needed the hugs today.
Have been inspired to write this post... as a reminder to myself as well Don't give up
Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:18 PM
you sound like an incredibly strong woman.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:28 PM
You sound brave to put that out there, I hope sharing your story can help you share the load just a little. Sending virtual hugs and support <3
Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:39 PM
You are amazingly strong. Your son is blessed to have you for your love and example. I hope you also have some good friends IRL who can support you practically. Keep going, only you can do this.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:22 PM
Thank you so much for the beautiful comments and support
Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:12 PM
I'm really sorry that you have had so many difficult times and as others have pointed out, you are a resilient and strong person.
I agree with this though
The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.
There is SO much to be taken from that and I encourage you to delve into this further. Often in life people place their happiness, self worth on external things which is fraught with danger. The person is vulnerable, like a leaf being blown about in the forever changing windsof life and relationships. Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:44 PM
Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.
Actually this is something that I am really interested in exploring further, and something that I do want to able to do for myself.
For me it's a matter of figuring out how best to do that. Any suggestions or ideas are very welcome
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:16 PM
Posted 10 December 2012 - 06:33 AM
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.
While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?
Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.
As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.
Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.
A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.
You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.
We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.
Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.
The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found.
As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?
Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.
Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.
In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.
The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.
A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.
A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.
Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.
A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.
A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.
Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.
Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?
I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.
February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.
This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.
Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.
A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.
She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.
Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.
If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?
With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.
We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.
Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.
If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Win a KitchenAid Mixer
To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.