Jump to content

Just having a moment
(depression mentioned)


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:11 AM

I'm not really sure what I am hoping to achieve with this post.  Just sharing I guess, and hoping someone might be able to give me some hope.

I'm going through a rough time at the moment, and am just struggling a bit.

A brief history:

My husband left me after a 10 year marriage fraught with many problems.  He left me on Valentine's day, for another woman that he lined up via online dating.  During our marriage I had 4 miscarriages.  Finally we had our beautiful DS.  And then XH became suicidal and wanted to take both his life and our DS's.  Long story, lots of other issues.

After he left I lost our house.  Our DS was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (amongst a lot of other issues).

I had a head on collision into a tree (in the wet) and wrote off my car.

I have 20+ breast tumours which require constant monitoring, testing, biopsies etc.

Then earlier this year I met someone fantastic - 18 months after XH left.  For the first time in my life I felt genuine happiness.  And hope.  

Then he "discontinued our relationship" via email.  On our anniversary, and while I had gastro.

I was crushed.  More so than even when XH left.

Then later this year I met someone else.  He seemed fantastic, I liked him a lot.  Trusted him.  On Monday I found his profile on an online dating site.  And we broke up.


I'm in no way feeling sorry for myself with the above.  Just trying to explain how I have gotten to this point.

I guess I just look at everyone around me.  With partners, and families.  Happy and stable.

I am just struggling to find hope anymore.  When I look at the future I just see an endless struggle day in day out.  

I do have a long history of depression and anxiety.  I'm currently on anti-depressants.  I've seen more psychiatrists and psychologists than I can count.

So I guess I'm looking for stories of hope.  Of happy endings.  Of positivity.

Just trying to find reasons to keep battling through.

Thank you for reading if you have gotten this far  original.gif

(please please don't quote me.  There is a lot of identifying information which I will probably delete later.  Thank you)

Edited by ♥~Bodhichitta~♥, 09 December 2012 - 08:12 AM.


#2 Cherish

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:26 AM

I'm sorry you've had such a sh*t time sad.gif
Life's unfair sometimes.
I hope you find the happiness you deserve very soon.

#3 JRA

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:34 AM

OP: I really don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you.

I do have to admit I read through some of your old posts, and found your blog. I love the benefits of minimilastion. I am going to show it to DH.

#4 RichardParker

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

Please go to your doctor and get s referral to a psychologist.  There is hope- you've just had a pile of sh*t thrown at you. It may take some assistance and therapy for you to be able to see that.  

Xo.

#5 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:40 AM

Thank you for these replies - that does help.

It's ironic - after reaching breaking point last year I dedicated my life to helping others.  And spreading kindness.  And it's still something I believe passionately about (hence my blog).

I guess I'm just finding it hard right at this moment to keep going.

Thank you everyone  hheart.gif

#6 NunSoFeral

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:03 AM

Please have hope.

You are making many ripples with each kind word and action.
Touching lives, which in turn, touch others.

These ripples will return ten-fold.

Hang in there Bodhichitta - the tide will turn.



#7 Chelli

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:39 AM

Thinking of you OP and hoping that things turn around for you very soon.  hhugs.gif

#8 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:14 AM

Thank you everyone  wub.gif

I was having a moment (as per my thread title).  I've realised it's time to put on my big girl pants again (worn on the outside) and get back to what I do best - helping others and trying to spread light and love and kindness.

For some reason it's my karma to go through lots of yucky stuff.  However that horrible stuff has also deepened my compassion and empathy and ability to help others.  And I truly think that is the reason behind it.

Sometimes I just get a bit overwhelmed with it all.



#9 kadoodle

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:22 AM

You are so strong and so brave, OP.  The world needs more souls like you.

#10 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:25 AM

Thank you Kadoodle  wub.gif

#11 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:26 AM

OP, its just an observation from your post, and it could be entirely wrong of course...

You seem to have set your 'benchmark for happiness' as being the same as your partnered friends and family, that is, you seem to think you need a partner for happiness.

I suspect part of the reason you're struggling is that you feel the need or obligation to be partnered, and this is impacting on how you view your life.

The truth is of couse very different. The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.

While dating and being with people is fun, maybe you should be looking more closely at a different benchmark - one that celebrates your inner-strength and your lovely soul. When you're getting joy and satisfaction from helping others, I think you may be closer to your own 'truth' than you could imagine.

#12 trebambinibelli

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:32 AM

OP you are stronger and more brave than you realise.  I don't know why we get hardships when we're already down, it's not fair sad.gif The fact that you're trying to turn hard times into a positive by helping others is to be greatly admired

#13 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:51 AM

Spikey - thank you, that is incredibly insightful.  And something that I am trying to work with, as I have realised this myself.  Particularly in light of the last relationship ending.  I'm working towards being strong and comfortable in my own skin.  Without the need for anyone else.  It's a process  happy.gif

Thank you again everyone for being there.  I think I just needed the hugs today.

Have been inspired to write this post... as a reminder to myself as well  original.gif

Don't give up

#14 R2B2

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:18 PM

bbighug.gif  you sound like an incredibly strong woman.



#15 raindotdot

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:28 PM

You sound brave to put that out there, I hope sharing your story can help you share the load just a little. Sending virtual hugs and support <3

#16 BearBait

Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:39 PM

You are amazingly strong. Your son is blessed to have you for your love and example. I hope you also have some good friends IRL who can support you practically. Keep going, only you can do this.

#17 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:22 PM

Thank you so much for the beautiful comments and support  hheart.gif

#18 AprilEthereal

Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:12 PM

I'm really sorry that you have had so many difficult times and as others have pointed out, you are a resilient and strong person.

I agree with this though  
QUOTE
The only meaningful benchmark is that which makes you truly happy - and you have yet to discover what that is, perhaps. But it has to come from inside you, and not from an externality.


There is SO much to be taken from that and I encourage you to delve into this further.  Often in life people place their happiness, self worth on external things which is fraught with danger. The person is vulnerable, like a leaf being blown about in the forever changing windsof life and relationships.  Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.

#19 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:44 PM

QUOTE (AprilEthereal @ 09/12/2012, 04:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Instead, I encourage you to be your own best friend, treat yourself with the love,kindness and compassion you afford to others. Everything starts with the self, the acceptance of the self, the whole self.


Actually this is something that I am really interested in exploring further, and something that I do want to able to do for myself.  

For me it's a matter of figuring out how best to do that.  Any suggestions or ideas are very welcome  original.gif

#20 AprilEthereal

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:16 PM

This works for me.   :-)   http://yogavic.org.au/retreats/living_consciously .

#21 ♥~Bodhichitta~♥

Posted 10 December 2012 - 06:33 AM

QUOTE (AprilEthereal @ 09/12/2012, 10:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This works for me.   :-)   http://yogavic.org.au/retreats/living_consciously .


Thank you!!!!  biggrin.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

The #loveyourlines Instagram account taking on body issues

A new Instagram account, LoveYourLines, has put the call out for to change the way we view stretch marks.

Mum gets diploma 51 years after being thrown out of school over pregnancy

Sandra Lantz was about six months pregnant and four months from graduation when she was forced to leave high school. Now, more than half a century later, she has finally graduated.

The lowdown on male midwives

How would you feel about having a male midwife assist your baby's birth? For a growing number of mums, the idea is a reality - and the experts all agree that it's something that should be encouraged.

Bomb threat at daycare centre

Worried parents took to social media yesterday after their children's daycare was evacuated due to a bomb threat.

Unusual celebrity baby names

Celebrities love to use their imaginations when it comes to naming their kids! Here's a gallery of some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

5 fears I've overcome since becoming a mum

Motherhood has a way of putting any phobias you had pre-parenthood into perspective: you either realise they?re a pointless waste of energy or they simply vanish in a sleep-deprived haze.

Mums review the Dymples range from Big W

The Big W Dymples range offers parents a vast selection of quality products to keep their little ones happy and healthy. We asked the Real Mums Test Drive team to review some items - here's what they said.

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

She went to a doctor complaining of stomach pains, then had an unexpected operation to remove a decades-old fetus.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.