Jump to content

Awkward...
Man at party wih woman not his wife


  • Please log in to reply
30 replies to this topic

#1 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:19 PM

Went to a party. Lets not focus on the cost of the babysitter <sigh>
Saw a uni friend I haven't seen in about 12 years. He didnt recognise me at first due to the weight I have gained. How depressing, but I digress....
I am friends wih his wife on FB.
He introduces me to a woman, with whom he is clearly intimately involved. For the first little while I thought that he and wife must have split up. Towards the end it became clear that may not have been the case.
So, WDYT I should have done / said, if anything?!?

#2 Bathsheba52

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:24 PM

Drop him in it. Deserves it for not recognising you. Message his wife with something innocent... "I saw [guy] at [party] tonight with [name her], having a really good time." Sit back and watch.

PS I'm no expert and you'll probably receive much better advice from others.

#3 pinkcupcakes

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:25 PM

wow, awkward is right! ummmmmm i guess if it was me i'd arrange to meet up with her irl... omg that would be so hard to do though! did you get any hard evidence, photo etc of them? so he cant deny it...

#4 Kwyjibo

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:26 PM

Maybe they have an arrangement?

Sounds too public for a mistress....

#5 catalyst

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:36 PM

I wouldn't say anything..  You have no idea of the full story.

#6 Lucretia Borgia

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:15 AM

Awkward indeed! I remember a movie scene (can't for the life of me remember the movie) where this very thing happened!  so, woman at a party, bumps into a male acquaintance with a woman apparently not his wife....other woman says:

"How's your lovely wife Mary? Haven't seen her for a while. I must give her a call and ask if there's any new faces in her life"

I always thought if this ever happened to me I would say this! But I wouldn't have the guts!

(She may or may not have been called Mary...I can't remember anything else about the movie but that scene!)

#7 His Boy Elroy

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:32 AM

Perhaps make contact with the wife and see if they're separated?  Just ask..."so how's *husband*?"

If she doesn't mention any separation or anything, drop him in it.

It may be totally innocent (separated, open marriage etc), but if it's not, the wife would want to know (well, I would).

#8 JustBeige

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:57 AM

I would tell her.  I would try and tell her face to face (somewhere public).  If she knows, she knows.  If not then she has a right to know.

Do you have photos or anything?

Edited by JustBeige, 09 December 2012 - 06:58 AM.


#9 jessie123

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:27 AM

I think I would leave it. Given they were in public it seems odd and I would presume that if she doesn't know she is going to find out about it pretty soon.

#10 countrymel

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:36 AM

What kind of 'friend' is she on facebook?

A 'friend' or a 'person I met once and is now part of my pantheon of friends' friends?


I'm suspecting if you haven't seen uni friend in 12 years that maybe you are not that close??

In which case - leave it alone. You are only pondering doing something more for the pure curiosity value.  

Curiosity is NOT enough reason to meddle in someone else's life.

#11 FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:41 AM

QUOTE
So, WDYT I should have done / said, if anything?!?


You asked what should you have done, right?  

You were safe to say nothing - if he didn't recognise you at first and his wife is only a casual friend, I certainly wouldn't be stirring the marital pot after the event!


#12 katpaws

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:44 AM

I had gay friends where one of the boys would bring a "friend" along to parties. Then he would leave early with the friend and leave behind his partner with us, who would get drunk and take out his misery on us. But then they might have had an arrangement; we never commented on it (and did not really blame the guy for seeing fun elsewhere). It just made the parties a bit more "interesting".




#13 sammyv

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:12 AM

QUOTE
He introduces me to a woman, with whom he is clearly intimately involved


What made you think they were "clearly involved"?  Are you sure they weren't good friends?

I wouldn't say anything to the wife - prefer not to be involved.



#14 Phascogale

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:14 AM

Did the uni friend know that you were 'friends' with his wife?

I'm not sure what I would do.  

Depends on whether you want to drop him in it.  But like others have said, they may have an arrangement (was he open about his wife at the party).  You could ask the wife whether she was feeling okay because you saw uni friend at the party with the other person.  But that would be stirring the pot.  

If they do have arrangement she may not want everyone to know.

#15 lynneyours

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:29 AM

Do you/others have any pic's from the party with them in that could end up posted to FB?   cool.gif  
If you are certain they were more than just friends, that would be a cruel way for her to find out, so:
* If she was a friend, I'd see/call her and mention seeing him there and who was he with?
* If she was an acquaintance, I'd say nothing.

* not suggesting YOU post to FB and tag her, but if there is a possibility someone will, it might be nicer for her to hear this first.

#16 brangisnotaword

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:52 AM

Unless she was a good friend and I knew there was no 'arrangement' I wouldn't say anything.

#17 Heather11

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:03 AM

Like CM said, is she a friend or just a 'facebook friend'?  

If she is a friend then I would PM her saying how it was great catching up with her DH at said party and that you were sorry she couldn't make.  Then take from her response.  She may not have even known about the party.

If just a facebook friend I would just leave it.  You don't know them well enough to get involved.

I think what you should of done was inquire about his wife when he introduced his friend.  Just a simple, "How is xxxx going?'.

#18 -*meh*-

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:07 AM

QUOTE (Heather11 @ 09/12/2012, 11:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Like CM said, is she a friend or just a 'facebook friend'?  

If she is a friend then I would PM her saying how it was great catching up with her DH at said party and that you were sorry she couldn't make.  Then take from her response.  She may not have even known about the party.

If just a facebook friend I would just leave it.  You don't know them well enough to get involved.

I think what you should of done was inquire about his wife when he introduced his friend.  Just a simple, "How is xxxx going?'.


this is what i was thinking...

"hey saw your DH at *** party... sorry you couldn't make it would have been great to catch up"...

#19 jayskette

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:10 AM

nothing!

#20 llg

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:05 PM

MYOB





#21 llg

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:10 PM

How did you know they were clearly intimately involved?  Come on tell us this could get juicy.

Were they pashing?

Did he have his hand up her dress?

Did you  have to throw a bucket of cold water over them?




#22 Expelliarmus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:28 PM

Why do anything? Nothing to do with you.

#23 Chocolate Addict

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

I would have asked how his wife was. wink.gif

#24 sophie222

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:52 PM

I wouldn't say anything

#25 Magnus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

I would bring it up in person if she was a real life friend, because I think in general it's best to let someone who might be being cheated on know about it. It would be upsetting to find out and realise your friends knew all about the affair.

But if she's not a real life friend, then it would be a very awkward situation and you probably wouldn't be close enough to have a proper conversation about it and I would just leave it. Also, in this situation, they might have some sort of agreement and you wouldn't necessarily know about it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.