Jump to content

Awkward...
Man at party wih woman not his wife


  • Please log in to reply
29 replies to this topic

#1 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:19 PM

Went to a party. Lets not focus on the cost of the babysitter <sigh>
Saw a uni friend I haven't seen in about 12 years. He didnt recognise me at first due to the weight I have gained. How depressing, but I digress....
I am friends wih his wife on FB.
He introduces me to a woman, with whom he is clearly intimately involved. For the first little while I thought that he and wife must have split up. Towards the end it became clear that may not have been the case.
So, WDYT I should have done / said, if anything?!?

#2 Bathsheba52

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:24 PM

Drop him in it. Deserves it for not recognising you. Message his wife with something innocent... "I saw [guy] at [party] tonight with [name her], having a really good time." Sit back and watch.

PS I'm no expert and you'll probably receive much better advice from others.

#3 pinkcupcakes

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:25 PM

wow, awkward is right! ummmmmm i guess if it was me i'd arrange to meet up with her irl... omg that would be so hard to do though! did you get any hard evidence, photo etc of them? so he cant deny it...

#4 Kwyjibo

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:26 PM

Maybe they have an arrangement?

Sounds too public for a mistress....

#5 catalyst

Posted 08 December 2012 - 11:36 PM

I wouldn't say anything..  You have no idea of the full story.

#6 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:15 AM

Awkward indeed! I remember a movie scene (can't for the life of me remember the movie) where this very thing happened!  so, woman at a party, bumps into a male acquaintance with a woman apparently not his wife....other woman says:

"How's your lovely wife Mary? Haven't seen her for a while. I must give her a call and ask if there's any new faces in her life"

I always thought if this ever happened to me I would say this! But I wouldn't have the guts!

(She may or may not have been called Mary...I can't remember anything else about the movie but that scene!)

#7 His Boy Elroy

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:32 AM

Perhaps make contact with the wife and see if they're separated?  Just ask..."so how's *husband*?"

If she doesn't mention any separation or anything, drop him in it.

It may be totally innocent (separated, open marriage etc), but if it's not, the wife would want to know (well, I would).

#8 JustBeige

Posted 09 December 2012 - 06:57 AM

I would tell her.  I would try and tell her face to face (somewhere public).  If she knows, she knows.  If not then she has a right to know.

Do you have photos or anything?

Edited by JustBeige, 09 December 2012 - 06:58 AM.


#9 jessie123

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:27 AM

I think I would leave it. Given they were in public it seems odd and I would presume that if she doesn't know she is going to find out about it pretty soon.

#10 HRH Countrymel

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:36 AM

What kind of 'friend' is she on facebook?

A 'friend' or a 'person I met once and is now part of my pantheon of friends' friends?


I'm suspecting if you haven't seen uni friend in 12 years that maybe you are not that close??

In which case - leave it alone. You are only pondering doing something more for the pure curiosity value.  

Curiosity is NOT enough reason to meddle in someone else's life.

#11 Fr0g

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:41 AM

QUOTE
So, WDYT I should have done / said, if anything?!?


You asked what should you have done, right?  

You were safe to say nothing - if he didn't recognise you at first and his wife is only a casual friend, I certainly wouldn't be stirring the marital pot after the event!


#12 katpaws

Posted 09 December 2012 - 07:44 AM

I had gay friends where one of the boys would bring a "friend" along to parties. Then he would leave early with the friend and leave behind his partner with us, who would get drunk and take out his misery on us. But then they might have had an arrangement; we never commented on it (and did not really blame the guy for seeing fun elsewhere). It just made the parties a bit more "interesting".




#13 sammyv

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:12 AM

QUOTE
He introduces me to a woman, with whom he is clearly intimately involved


What made you think they were "clearly involved"?  Are you sure they weren't good friends?

I wouldn't say anything to the wife - prefer not to be involved.



#14 Phascogale

Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:14 AM

Did the uni friend know that you were 'friends' with his wife?

I'm not sure what I would do.  

Depends on whether you want to drop him in it.  But like others have said, they may have an arrangement (was he open about his wife at the party).  You could ask the wife whether she was feeling okay because you saw uni friend at the party with the other person.  But that would be stirring the pot.  

If they do have arrangement she may not want everyone to know.

#15 lynneyours

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:29 AM

Do you/others have any pic's from the party with them in that could end up posted to FB?   cool.gif  
If you are certain they were more than just friends, that would be a cruel way for her to find out, so:
* If she was a friend, I'd see/call her and mention seeing him there and who was he with?
* If she was an acquaintance, I'd say nothing.

* not suggesting YOU post to FB and tag her, but if there is a possibility someone will, it might be nicer for her to hear this first.

#16 Heather11

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:03 AM

Like CM said, is she a friend or just a 'facebook friend'?  

If she is a friend then I would PM her saying how it was great catching up with her DH at said party and that you were sorry she couldn't make.  Then take from her response.  She may not have even known about the party.

If just a facebook friend I would just leave it.  You don't know them well enough to get involved.

I think what you should of done was inquire about his wife when he introduced his friend.  Just a simple, "How is xxxx going?'.

#17 Bob-the-skull

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:07 AM

QUOTE (Heather11 @ 09/12/2012, 11:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Like CM said, is she a friend or just a 'facebook friend'?  

If she is a friend then I would PM her saying how it was great catching up with her DH at said party and that you were sorry she couldn't make.  Then take from her response.  She may not have even known about the party.

If just a facebook friend I would just leave it.  You don't know them well enough to get involved.

I think what you should of done was inquire about his wife when he introduced his friend.  Just a simple, "How is xxxx going?'.


this is what i was thinking...

"hey saw your DH at *** party... sorry you couldn't make it would have been great to catch up"...

#18 jayskette

Posted 09 December 2012 - 11:10 AM

nothing!

#19 llg

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:05 PM

MYOB





#20 llg

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:10 PM

How did you know they were clearly intimately involved?  Come on tell us this could get juicy.

Were they pashing?

Did he have his hand up her dress?

Did you  have to throw a bucket of cold water over them?




#21 Expelliarmus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:28 PM

Why do anything? Nothing to do with you.

#22 Chocolate Addict

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

I would have asked how his wife was. wink.gif

#23 sophie222

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:52 PM

I wouldn't say anything

#24 Magnus

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

I would bring it up in person if she was a real life friend, because I think in general it's best to let someone who might be being cheated on know about it. It would be upsetting to find out and realise your friends knew all about the affair.

But if she's not a real life friend, then it would be a very awkward situation and you probably wouldn't be close enough to have a proper conversation about it and I would just leave it. Also, in this situation, they might have some sort of agreement and you wouldn't necessarily know about it.

#25 ubermum

Posted 09 December 2012 - 02:56 PM

You should have taken a picture of the two of them and tagged his wife in it biggrin.gif

Nah, stay out of it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.