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Present help and this one's tough


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#1 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:05 PM

I'm stumped and this is a first for me.

I need a present for someone that I last saw when he was 2.  He's now 25 and has due to various circumstances rejoined the family.  He always was family but no one saw him after that age when he was moved to another country and was on opposite sides of the globe.  

I'm not going into what is a long, convoluted and heartbreaking story.  Suffice so say, he's now back in NZ, all grown up and I need a present.

So, what I do I buy for a 25 year old young man, who I know next to nothing about? No budget.  

I've looked at his Facebook page and that gives me no clues. Typically young 20ish male stuff IYKWIM.

Family in NZ also are not being helpful in this regard so I turn to EB.  biggrin.gif

What do you think?  I'm thinking go lateral but my brain is not working today.

Help.




#2 Unatheowl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:10 PM

I know it's not that personal, but what about a voucher of some sort?  Everyone needs to buy clothes, most shopping centres will sell vouchers for the whole centre so whether he wants clothes, booze or video games or whatever he can choose what he likes.  It's hard to get something personal and touching if you really don't have that much to go on.  In cases like these I aim for practicality. Ie, I would always appreciate something I could use.

#3 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:15 PM

Thank you Una for the ideas and you're right - practical is probably the way to go.  I do know that he has just moved into his own flat but I don't know what he has in the way of furniture, goods etc.

I want to somehow though, make amends for all the lost years and I don't know how to do that. (and edited to say, logically I know I can't do that).

I also want to wring my brother's neck but I can't do that either and it would be pointless in any case.

Edited by Foogle, 08 December 2012 - 04:17 PM.


#4 Jingleflea

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:16 PM

movie vouchers.
If you're in NZ, why not one of the many experience vouchers? Bungee jumping etc?
Itunes card.
Gift vouchers for a music /dvd/stereo store(JB HiFi if you have it?)

#5 Unatheowl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:21 PM

Hmmmmm, ok.  The flat thing is good to know.  Would it be appropriate to offer to take him shopping for (i don't know) homewares or furniture (depending on your budget).  That way, you could spend some time with him helping him get settled and buy him something useful at the same time?  May make it more personal?

#6 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:31 PM

QUOTE (Unatheowl @ 08/12/2012, 05:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmmmmm, ok.  The flat thing is good to know.  Would it be appropriate to offer to take him shopping for (i don't know) homewares or furniture (depending on your budget).  That way, you could spend some time with him helping him get settled and buy him something useful at the same time?  May make it more personal?


See I'm not sure Una.  It doesn't seem right to me that after all this time to descend if you like from Australia (He doesn't know me, he doesn't remember me - we have talked on the phone though since he has been back in NZ) and say 'let's go shopping'.  That would be weird wouldn't it?

But by the same token, gift vouchers and say clothing and stuff seems impersonal.  sad.gif

I dunno...  sad.gif


#7 chickendrumstick

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:35 PM

I recently posted a vaguely similar thread about not being sure what to buy a 20 year old family member I haven't seen for a few years. I got him a Swiss Army knife. I like the idea of it because it is practical and he is newly independent so it should be useful, but it also seems like a classic 'manly' rite of passage type gift that he will be able to keep forever IYKWIM.

#8 Lyra

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:36 PM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 08/12/2012, 05:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
See I'm not sure Una.  It doesn't seem right to me that after all this time to descend if you like from Australia (He doesn't know me, he doesn't remember me - we have talked on the phone though since he has been back in NZ) and say 'let's go shopping'.  That would be weird wouldn't it?

But by the same token, gift vouchers and say clothing and stuff seems impersonal.  sad.gif

I dunno...  sad.gif



What is your relationship to him? I wouldn't find it weird if my aunt/cousin/sister wanted to spend time with me after all these years. If going shopping feels weird how about just catching up for a coffee and a chat? perhaps you could find out that way the kinds of things he's interested in

#9 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:39 PM

A leatherman multi-tool could be an idea

ETA so basically I agree with chickendrumstick original.gif

Edited by strawberrypie7, 08 December 2012 - 04:40 PM.


#10 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:41 PM

He's my nephew Lyra.  A long-lost one...

I don't have a lot of time in NZ - only a week between the 23rd and 30th.  

chickendrumstick - I like that idea.  I'm putting that on the list.  Thank you. original.gif


#11 Pssst...

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

Has he mentioned a particular sporting team he follows? I'm thinking rugby here given he's in NZ, but having lived o/s maybe he doesn't follow it?

If he does you could buy him some tickets to a game? Most young guys would like that and it's personal in the sense you're buying him tickets to watch 'his' team?

Or perhaps cricket tickets if he's into it? I think England are coming to play NZ in NZ early next year

#12 JaneLane

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:46 PM

I would go the gift voucher and probably something non specific like a Westfield one that covers lots of different shops.  I have never been to NZ so don't know if they have westfields or a similar type centre.

I know it seems a bit impersonal, but it gives him a wide variety of stores/items to pick something he wants.  I wish my relatives would give gift vouchers instead of homewares etc that are completely not my style and I end up throwing out.  My grandparents have always given every child/grandchild/great grandchild a cheque which I think is great. We can spend it on whatever we want or put it in savings which has always been most helpful!

Edited by blue4me, 08 December 2012 - 04:46 PM.


#13 nayjay

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:49 PM

This might seem like an odd suggestion but...an LED Lenser torch.  
My DH, adult nephews and DS (15yrs) would all say the same.  They all enjoy outdoors, camping and fishing so this, for them, is the perfect gift.

Edited by nayjay, 08 December 2012 - 04:51 PM.


#14 Harmonica

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:50 PM

I think the swiss army knife idea is good or a Leatherman - a small practical tool for lifelong use!

#15 crackles

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:51 PM

do u know if he likes games or sports? can get him a new game for his system or some sporting gear.

ummm....a model of his favourite car/bike

a digital photoframe for his house with pics of the family already on it


#16 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:58 PM

Thank you, I think I have it sorted.  

I'll get him a Swiss-army/Leatherman (There is a dedicated knife shop in my local shopping centre that I think sells them) and I will have it engraved.

I also like the idea nayjay of the LED torch because I think he is also discovering the NZ great outdoors that is now on his door-step.  Not sure but from various conversations I've had, and I'm guessing here, but I think he may quite like the idea of exploring the SI so that would be useful.

Thank you EB.  Now just to actually meet him - he's a lot bigger than the cheeky 2 year old that I remember. original.gif


#17 1975ladybug

Posted 08 December 2012 - 05:16 PM

What about some photos of the time he missed with your family with a note of the event and the people?

#18 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 05:43 PM

QUOTE (1975ladybug @ 08/12/2012, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What about some photos of the time he missed with your family with a note of the event and the people?


Yes - have been searching for these ladybug.  I specifically remember a photo of him sitting on the couch at Mum's all smiles and laughter.  We cannot find it.  There has been over the intervening years a number of break-ups within the family and photos have been lost.

My sister and I a number of months ago, contacted various family members asking them to go through what they had but none have come to light.  sad.gif

We are still looking though.

ETA: Sorry I thought you meant pics with him in them of which we are still looking for.

Edited by Foogle, 08 December 2012 - 05:44 PM.


#19 LynnyP

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:05 PM

My default is a really good backpack picnic set.

#20 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:18 PM

QUOTE (LynnyP @ 08/12/2012, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My default is a really good backpack picnic set.


Exactly what my sister is buying him Lynn.  original.gif  He had made mention of it to her apparently.


#21 LynnyP

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:24 PM

Your sister is a woman of refinement Foogle.

#22 Stollen Ivysocks

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:27 PM

QUOTE (LynnyP @ 08/12/2012, 07:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your sister is a woman of refinement Foogle.


Indeed, passed down from the bigger sister Lynn.



#23 funandlaughter

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:38 PM

not sure what your finances are.... how about a good quality camera so he can make his own family memories from here on in?

Or is that is too pricey.... how about you buy tickets to something on the South Island you could do together while you are there?

#24 Lyra

Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:09 PM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 08/12/2012, 05:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He's my nephew Lyra.  A long-lost one...



sounds like my family! I didn't know my aunt for years and  years. I've only just got in contact recently

good luck with everything

#25 lynneyours

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 08/12/2012, 06:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes - have been searching for these ladybug.  I specifically remember a photo of him sitting on the couch at Mum's all smiles and laughter.  We cannot find it.  There has been over the intervening years a number of break-ups within the family and photos have been lost.

My sister and I a number of months ago, contacted various family members asking them to go through what they had but none have come to light.  sad.gif

We are still looking though.

ETA: Sorry I thought you meant pics with him in them of which we are still looking for.


That was my immediate thought too - a beautiful album with photos of who is who and what he missed basically.  Maybe a simple family tree in the front - it must be confusing to remember who fits where if he has been away for 23 years.

I think your leatherman idea is good too - I remember my male friends being very proud of theirs round that age.




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