Jump to content

Present help and this one's tough


  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#1 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:05 PM

I'm stumped and this is a first for me.

I need a present for someone that I last saw when he was 2.  He's now 25 and has due to various circumstances rejoined the family.  He always was family but no one saw him after that age when he was moved to another country and was on opposite sides of the globe.  

I'm not going into what is a long, convoluted and heartbreaking story.  Suffice so say, he's now back in NZ, all grown up and I need a present.

So, what I do I buy for a 25 year old young man, who I know next to nothing about? No budget.  

I've looked at his Facebook page and that gives me no clues. Typically young 20ish male stuff IYKWIM.

Family in NZ also are not being helpful in this regard so I turn to EB.  biggrin.gif

What do you think?  I'm thinking go lateral but my brain is not working today.

Help.




#2 Unatheowl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:10 PM

I know it's not that personal, but what about a voucher of some sort?  Everyone needs to buy clothes, most shopping centres will sell vouchers for the whole centre so whether he wants clothes, booze or video games or whatever he can choose what he likes.  It's hard to get something personal and touching if you really don't have that much to go on.  In cases like these I aim for practicality. Ie, I would always appreciate something I could use.

#3 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:15 PM

Thank you Una for the ideas and you're right - practical is probably the way to go.  I do know that he has just moved into his own flat but I don't know what he has in the way of furniture, goods etc.

I want to somehow though, make amends for all the lost years and I don't know how to do that. (and edited to say, logically I know I can't do that).

I also want to wring my brother's neck but I can't do that either and it would be pointless in any case.

Edited by Foogle, 08 December 2012 - 04:17 PM.


#4 Marchioness Flea

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:16 PM

movie vouchers.
If you're in NZ, why not one of the many experience vouchers? Bungee jumping etc?
Itunes card.
Gift vouchers for a music /dvd/stereo store(JB HiFi if you have it?)

#5 Unatheowl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:21 PM

Hmmmmm, ok.  The flat thing is good to know.  Would it be appropriate to offer to take him shopping for (i don't know) homewares or furniture (depending on your budget).  That way, you could spend some time with him helping him get settled and buy him something useful at the same time?  May make it more personal?

#6 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:31 PM

QUOTE (Unatheowl @ 08/12/2012, 05:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmmmmm, ok.  The flat thing is good to know.  Would it be appropriate to offer to take him shopping for (i don't know) homewares or furniture (depending on your budget).  That way, you could spend some time with him helping him get settled and buy him something useful at the same time?  May make it more personal?


See I'm not sure Una.  It doesn't seem right to me that after all this time to descend if you like from Australia (He doesn't know me, he doesn't remember me - we have talked on the phone though since he has been back in NZ) and say 'let's go shopping'.  That would be weird wouldn't it?

But by the same token, gift vouchers and say clothing and stuff seems impersonal.  sad.gif

I dunno...  sad.gif


#7 chickendrumstick

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:35 PM

I recently posted a vaguely similar thread about not being sure what to buy a 20 year old family member I haven't seen for a few years. I got him a Swiss Army knife. I like the idea of it because it is practical and he is newly independent so it should be useful, but it also seems like a classic 'manly' rite of passage type gift that he will be able to keep forever IYKWIM.

#8 Lyra

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:36 PM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 08/12/2012, 05:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
See I'm not sure Una.  It doesn't seem right to me that after all this time to descend if you like from Australia (He doesn't know me, he doesn't remember me - we have talked on the phone though since he has been back in NZ) and say 'let's go shopping'.  That would be weird wouldn't it?

But by the same token, gift vouchers and say clothing and stuff seems impersonal.  sad.gif

I dunno...  sad.gif



What is your relationship to him? I wouldn't find it weird if my aunt/cousin/sister wanted to spend time with me after all these years. If going shopping feels weird how about just catching up for a coffee and a chat? perhaps you could find out that way the kinds of things he's interested in

#9 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:39 PM

A leatherman multi-tool could be an idea

ETA so basically I agree with chickendrumstick original.gif

Edited by strawberrypie7, 08 December 2012 - 04:40 PM.


#10 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:41 PM

He's my nephew Lyra.  A long-lost one...

I don't have a lot of time in NZ - only a week between the 23rd and 30th.  

chickendrumstick - I like that idea.  I'm putting that on the list.  Thank you. original.gif


#11 Pssst...

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

Has he mentioned a particular sporting team he follows? I'm thinking rugby here given he's in NZ, but having lived o/s maybe he doesn't follow it?

If he does you could buy him some tickets to a game? Most young guys would like that and it's personal in the sense you're buying him tickets to watch 'his' team?

Or perhaps cricket tickets if he's into it? I think England are coming to play NZ in NZ early next year

#12 JaneLane

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:46 PM

I would go the gift voucher and probably something non specific like a Westfield one that covers lots of different shops.  I have never been to NZ so don't know if they have westfields or a similar type centre.

I know it seems a bit impersonal, but it gives him a wide variety of stores/items to pick something he wants.  I wish my relatives would give gift vouchers instead of homewares etc that are completely not my style and I end up throwing out.  My grandparents have always given every child/grandchild/great grandchild a cheque which I think is great. We can spend it on whatever we want or put it in savings which has always been most helpful!

Edited by blue4me, 08 December 2012 - 04:46 PM.


#13 nayjay

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:49 PM

This might seem like an odd suggestion but...an LED Lenser torch.  
My DH, adult nephews and DS (15yrs) would all say the same.  They all enjoy outdoors, camping and fishing so this, for them, is the perfect gift.

Edited by nayjay, 08 December 2012 - 04:51 PM.


#14 Harmonica

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:50 PM

I think the swiss army knife idea is good or a Leatherman - a small practical tool for lifelong use!

#15 crackles

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:51 PM

do u know if he likes games or sports? can get him a new game for his system or some sporting gear.

ummm....a model of his favourite car/bike

a digital photoframe for his house with pics of the family already on it


#16 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:58 PM

Thank you, I think I have it sorted.  

I'll get him a Swiss-army/Leatherman (There is a dedicated knife shop in my local shopping centre that I think sells them) and I will have it engraved.

I also like the idea nayjay of the LED torch because I think he is also discovering the NZ great outdoors that is now on his door-step.  Not sure but from various conversations I've had, and I'm guessing here, but I think he may quite like the idea of exploring the SI so that would be useful.

Thank you EB.  Now just to actually meet him - he's a lot bigger than the cheeky 2 year old that I remember. original.gif


#17 1975ladybug

Posted 08 December 2012 - 05:16 PM

What about some photos of the time he missed with your family with a note of the event and the people?

#18 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 05:43 PM

QUOTE (1975ladybug @ 08/12/2012, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What about some photos of the time he missed with your family with a note of the event and the people?


Yes - have been searching for these ladybug.  I specifically remember a photo of him sitting on the couch at Mum's all smiles and laughter.  We cannot find it.  There has been over the intervening years a number of break-ups within the family and photos have been lost.

My sister and I a number of months ago, contacted various family members asking them to go through what they had but none have come to light.  sad.gif

We are still looking though.

ETA: Sorry I thought you meant pics with him in them of which we are still looking for.

Edited by Foogle, 08 December 2012 - 05:44 PM.


#19 LynnyP

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:05 PM

My default is a really good backpack picnic set.

#20 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:18 PM

QUOTE (LynnyP @ 08/12/2012, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My default is a really good backpack picnic set.


Exactly what my sister is buying him Lynn.  original.gif  He had made mention of it to her apparently.


#21 LynnyP

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:24 PM

Your sister is a woman of refinement Foogle.

#22 Foogle

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:27 PM

QUOTE (LynnyP @ 08/12/2012, 07:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your sister is a woman of refinement Foogle.


Indeed, passed down from the bigger sister Lynn.



#23 funandlaughter

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:38 PM

not sure what your finances are.... how about a good quality camera so he can make his own family memories from here on in?

Or is that is too pricey.... how about you buy tickets to something on the South Island you could do together while you are there?

#24 Lyra

Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:09 PM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 08/12/2012, 05:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He's my nephew Lyra.  A long-lost one...



sounds like my family! I didn't know my aunt for years and  years. I've only just got in contact recently

good luck with everything

#25 lynneyours

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 08/12/2012, 06:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes - have been searching for these ladybug.  I specifically remember a photo of him sitting on the couch at Mum's all smiles and laughter.  We cannot find it.  There has been over the intervening years a number of break-ups within the family and photos have been lost.

My sister and I a number of months ago, contacted various family members asking them to go through what they had but none have come to light.  sad.gif

We are still looking though.

ETA: Sorry I thought you meant pics with him in them of which we are still looking for.


That was my immediate thought too - a beautiful album with photos of who is who and what he missed basically.  Maybe a simple family tree in the front - it must be confusing to remember who fits where if he has been away for 23 years.

I think your leatherman idea is good too - I remember my male friends being very proud of theirs round that age.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Five ways my second pregnancy is second best

As I roll into the second half of "Pregnancy: The Sequel", here is breakdown of the differences I have found thus far.

Domestic politics

Why I felt guilty about having a cleaner

Coming home to a clean house was a pleasure – and yet, I felt uneasy.

'Ugly' hearing aid ad leaves parents fuming

When Alecia Donoghue found out her baby would need hearing aids she worried about him becoming the target for schoolyard bullies.

Have you seen these missing children?

The Australian Federal Police has released the following information to locate some of Australia's missing children through the Family Law Court.

Margarita time

Keira Knightley welcomes first child

British actress Keira Knightley has become a first-time mother.

IVF patients in the dark over which clinics are least successful

Couples with fertility problems have little way of knowing which IVF clinics are the best performers despite significant differences between clinic success rates.

Couple forced to defend their decision to become parents

They met, fell in love and got married. Then, just like couples everywhere, Simon and Vicky Moore decided it was time to have a baby.

The one parenting tip that made all the difference

Amongst the useless, ill-informed advice we're given as new parents, many of us also receive nuggets of wisdom that make our lives just that little bit easier.

Five lies you tell yourself when you're pregnant

You can see it all now: glowing mumma with her gorgeous babe ... you know exactly what you're going to be like. Or perhaps you know exactly what you're not going to be like.

Family expecting fourth set of twins

A couple is expecting their fourth set of twins in five years.

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

The universal working mother experience

These days mothers need more than just traditional career advice.

Obama feels full force of toddler tantrum

Shopping centres, restaurants, the White House ... the list of places toddlers like to throw tantrums is endless.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Welcome to Winter

Now that the colder months are here, Essential Baby as all the information you need for staying healthy and happy during the chilly season.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.