Jump to content

mb nb


  • Please log in to reply
51 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:06 PM

mjbkjhv

Edited by 3Bella3, 15 December 2012 - 09:16 AM.


#2 ~Jam~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:12 PM

Don't "lie" to her about not feeling like it or not wanting something, just tell her you are following all the current recommendations on eating/drinking/smoking while pregnant.

I am sure she has had pre-natal care (hoping she has anyway) so all this information would have been given to her already and more than likely is choosing to ignore it.



#3 =R2=

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

I would have let the food choices go BUT ......

I would have said "I'd like to have my unborn child have all their brain cells healthy and intact when they're born so I'm choosing not to drink/smoke".





#4 BadCat

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

Leave her be but don't lie to her about why you aren't drinking or eating certain things.

#5 Kay1

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

Agree 100% with Jam.

#6 jennywin

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:19 PM

Meh, like she wouldnt have known?! If she's that dumb, you as a stranger cant help her. Im sure plenty of people have already said their 2c to her.

#7 Liv_FERAL_sh

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:21 PM

Flaming heck! She was doing all of this in public and nobody had a go at her about it!?

Firstly, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but if she'd asked me why I wasn't getting a proper drink I'd probably say something like "because I'm pregnant you nong, why are YOU getting a proper drink?"

The smoking thing would send me loopy, I really hate smoking. I probably wouldn't say anything, just tsk and purse my lips and probably b**ch behind her back to everybody!

As for the hen's party, avoid her, sit at the opposite end of the table, put a napkin over your head if she comes over...but seriously, avoid giving unsolicited advice, it'll get ugly!



#8 Bel Rowley

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:22 PM

I certainly wouldn't have given unsolicited advice/opinions, but when she asked "Why aren't you having ____" I'm not sure why you would lie? Why not just say "I'm pregnant, it's recommended you drink/smoke/eat sushi"?

#9 Floral Arrangement

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:25 PM

I think whilst my heart would have been in my mouth I would have had had to say something. The woman repeatedly drank in front of you. ate unsafe foods and told you she was going to have a cigarette. I would say "I am not drinking as it is not recommended during pregnancy" same regarding the smoking, the unsafe food thing.

Why didn't your mum say something to her? Why didn't anyone else?

Edited by FloralArrangement, 07 December 2012 - 01:28 PM.


#10 Z-girls rock

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:28 PM

well I wouldnt have gone up to her and given her a lecture.

but when asked I would not have lied. I think that is a weird response.

When asked I would have said the truth "not eating/drinking xxx because it is not good for the baby" simple as that.
then it is her choice to either say "wow.. I had no idea. tell me more..." or "oh, I dont bother with worrying about the health of my baby"

#11 Wise Old Owl

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 07/12/2012, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I certainly wouldn't have given unsolicited advice/opinions, but when she asked "Why aren't you having ____" I'm not sure why you would lie? Why not just say "I'm pregnant, it's recommended you drink/smoke/eat sushi"?


I wouldn't have lied when she asked these questions either.  The food is one thing, but then drinking and smoking whilst pregnant is just wrong  mad.gif

#12 rosiebird

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

I don't see the point of starting an argument with a stranger at an engagement party. She's going to get defensive and angry and chances are you're going to create a scene. I doubt you saying something to her is going to change her ways- look at how well constructive criticism goes down on EB and multiply it by 10 when it is face to face, in front of a crowd of party guests, involving a tipsy pregnant woman. It will go down like a lead balloon.

#13 WithSprinkles

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

Agree with the majority of the PPs. I wouldn't have lectured her about eating certain foods/drinking/smoking but would have been honest when questioned by her. Something along the lines of "because it's not recommended during pregnancy".

#14 harryhoo

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:35 PM

I wouldn't have lied about why I wasn't eating certain foods, but also wouldn't have preached to her about smoking/drinking/sushi etc while pregnant. I had some friends who would have a glass of wine or a beer while pregnant but I didn't. And if they asked why, I just said "I know that people get different prenatal advice, but my ob suggested no alcohol (etc) at all while I was pregnant". Or that "I'm choosing not to eat such and such while I'm pregnant just to cut out the risk of listeria (or whatever)".

I have had people at work have no idea about avoiding sushi, pre-made salads, soft serve icecream and cold meats etc and would ask me heaps of questions when I was pregnant about why I wasn't eating certain things. So perhaps if it was a surprise pregnancy she hadn't looked much into what was considered okay and not while pregnant.

As for smoking... it drives me insane when I see a pregnant woman smoking! No excuses for that!



#15 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:55 PM

I wouldn't have lied when asked why I wasn't drinking etc, but I wouldn't have specifically told her what she was doing was wrong, her doctor no doubt has had the talk with her (well if they are a decent dr they should have) so I would assume she was more than happy putting her baby at risk like that (I think it is disgusting btw but there's nothing I could do to stop them, it isn't illegal so not worth putting myself in that position).

#16 kpingitquiet

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

You must be a very anti-conflict kinda gal! original.gif I would've said why I was eating hot foods only, and I would've said, quite clearly that it's strongly discouraged to drink/smoke in pregnancy. If she's someone you're not likely to see again after all is said and done, why not be plain?

#17 CallMeFeral

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:01 PM

I wouldn't say anything to her unprompted, but if/when asked why you didn't eat salads/drink, I'd go "because of the pregnancy" and elaborate further if asked.

#18 erindiv

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:08 PM

When asked why I wasn't doing certain things I would have just looked at her like she had two heads and said "Because I'm pregnant."

It is not up to you to tell others how to treat their bodies. You would have just caused a scene.

#19 ausmumof2

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

wouldn't have made it a personal attack on her, but would have stated that I was not doing it because I was pregnant.  That way in the rare and unlikely circumstance that she didn't know any different she had the opportunity to ask and learn, but she can't exactly take offense at your choices, when you are not telling her she has to do the same.

#20 ~buzz~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

I wouldn't have said anything to her but I also wouldn't have lied about why I wasn't would have just said I am not eating that/drinking or smoking as its not recommended during pregnancy

#21 1975ladybug

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:12 PM

I wouldn't: my sister an I where pregnant at the same time, we both chose to et or not eat different things, it's a personal choice. Information is available freely to those that are interested and wanting to take precautions.

#22 ~shannon~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:15 PM

Is this for real?

The whole time I was reading your story I thought "troll alert"!
I can understand some people not realising the risks associated with deli salads/meats, etc, but surely every woman in this country knows that drinking and smoking affects an unborn child? It's all over the TV at the moment about quitting when pregnant.
And then you said she didn't look pregnant, but later said she was 20 weeks... hmmmm.

Just sounds all too weird for me... and I'm with the majority of posters here... you should have just told her straight up why you were refraining from those foods/drinks, etc, and not lied about it.



#23 TheGreenSheep

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:17 PM

QUOTE (erindiv @ 07/12/2012, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When asked why I wasn't doing certain things I would have just looked at her like she had two heads and said "Because I'm pregnant."

It is not up to you to tell others how to treat their bodies. You would have just caused a scene.



^^^^ this.

I certainly would've answered honestly when asked why I wasn't drinking alcohol or smoking. Especially smoking. But then I am a passionate non smoker. But I certainly would be avoiding her next time.

#24 EsmeLennox

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

I wouldn't have offered any advice but when asked 'why aren't you_____? I would have said 'because I prefer not to drink/smoke/ eat whatever while pregnant'.

While the woman's behaviours are odd in this day and age (and I agree there's no way she wouldn't know assuming she has seen a health care provider even once during her pregnancy) I find it equally odd that you lied to her about your choices.

#25 Tesseract

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:30 PM

Usually I'd say don't say anything, but since she out right asked why you weren't eating ham/drinking/smoking I probably would have answered her truthfully.

To be honest it sounds like she was almost daring you to have a go at her. Cold meats you can understand someone not knowing about, but drinking and smoking? Come off it. The fact that she was looking at you weird and asking pointed questions makes me think she knew, was choosing to ignore it, and was waiting for you to have a go at her.

She sounds like a weird nutcase and I'd say the hell away.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

There's no need to eclipse a babymoon

As long as pregnant women do their research, travelling during pregnancy can be done safely.

Mum and daughter have babies on same day

"It's not really something you ever want or think could happen. To have my mum going through it with me is probably the most special, amazing thing ever.”

Our baby's reflux caused the longest endurance test of our lives

I'm glad she wasn't my first child, or I would have thought that this was normal.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

The podcast that reminds mums they are not alone

A mum's complicated, gruelling labour gave birth to two lovely beings: her daughter and her delightful podcast, The Longest Shortest Time.

Is it too late to change my midwife?

My wife is nine months pregnant and we are planning a home birth - but we've had late problems with our midwife team.

The Very Hungover Caterpillar: a parody many can relate to

A new book released this month will be sure to have parents nodding and giggling in recognition the world over.

Babywearers unite against misinformation

Everyone has heard of people power, but what about passionate babywearing power?

Reliving the birth experience

When people ask about how my labour went, I usually respond: "Good, I think? Four hours long, and yeah it hurt, but I dunno, it's labour, it's giving birth, it's painful... but I guess it was good? As good as good gets?"

Literary baby name inspiration

From Harry Potter to Shakespeare and everything in between, we've scoured the library shelves for literary baby name inspiration.

Preparing your child to attend a sibling's birth

Thinking about having your kids at the birth of your baby? Here are some things to consider.

Counselling helps mum deal with triplets' early birth

When Kimberlee King's waters broke nine weeks before her triplets were due, she went into autopilot as she packed her hospital bag.

The women balancing babies with new businesses

Motherhood teaches us that we can be more tolerant, patient, and loving than we ever thought possible - and can also show us that we're innovative, creative and entrepreneurial, too.

It's true, kids grow up overnight

A dad ponders how his toddler daughter can change so much in just one 24 hour period.

Father sings to dying son days after losing wife

A heartbreaking video shows a new dad singing 'Blackbird' to his dying son just days after losing his wife.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Dad breastfeeds his babies

Trevor Macdonald has now been pregnant twice, and is successfully breastfeeding his newest family member.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.