Jump to content

mb nb

  • Please log in to reply
51 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:06 PM


Edited by 3Bella3, 15 December 2012 - 09:16 AM.

#2 ~Jam~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:12 PM

Don't "lie" to her about not feeling like it or not wanting something, just tell her you are following all the current recommendations on eating/drinking/smoking while pregnant.

I am sure she has had pre-natal care (hoping she has anyway) so all this information would have been given to her already and more than likely is choosing to ignore it.

#3 =R2=

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

I would have let the food choices go BUT ......

I would have said "I'd like to have my unborn child have all their brain cells healthy and intact when they're born so I'm choosing not to drink/smoke".

#4 BadCat

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

Leave her be but don't lie to her about why you aren't drinking or eating certain things.

#5 Kay1

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

Agree 100% with Jam.

#6 jennywin

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:19 PM

Meh, like she wouldnt have known?! If she's that dumb, you as a stranger cant help her. Im sure plenty of people have already said their 2c to her.

#7 Liv_DrSperm_sh

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:21 PM

Flaming heck! She was doing all of this in public and nobody had a go at her about it!?

Firstly, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but if she'd asked me why I wasn't getting a proper drink I'd probably say something like "because I'm pregnant you nong, why are YOU getting a proper drink?"

The smoking thing would send me loopy, I really hate smoking. I probably wouldn't say anything, just tsk and purse my lips and probably b**ch behind her back to everybody!

As for the hen's party, avoid her, sit at the opposite end of the table, put a napkin over your head if she comes over...but seriously, avoid giving unsolicited advice, it'll get ugly!

#8 Bel Rowley

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:22 PM

I certainly wouldn't have given unsolicited advice/opinions, but when she asked "Why aren't you having ____" I'm not sure why you would lie? Why not just say "I'm pregnant, it's recommended you drink/smoke/eat sushi"?

#9 Floral Arrangement

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:25 PM

I think whilst my heart would have been in my mouth I would have had had to say something. The woman repeatedly drank in front of you. ate unsafe foods and told you she was going to have a cigarette. I would say "I am not drinking as it is not recommended during pregnancy" same regarding the smoking, the unsafe food thing.

Why didn't your mum say something to her? Why didn't anyone else?

Edited by FloralArrangement, 07 December 2012 - 01:28 PM.

#10 Z-girls rock

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:28 PM

well I wouldnt have gone up to her and given her a lecture.

but when asked I would not have lied. I think that is a weird response.

When asked I would have said the truth "not eating/drinking xxx because it is not good for the baby" simple as that.
then it is her choice to either say "wow.. I had no idea. tell me more..." or "oh, I dont bother with worrying about the health of my baby"

#11 Wise Old Owl

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 07/12/2012, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I certainly wouldn't have given unsolicited advice/opinions, but when she asked "Why aren't you having ____" I'm not sure why you would lie? Why not just say "I'm pregnant, it's recommended you drink/smoke/eat sushi"?

I wouldn't have lied when she asked these questions either.  The food is one thing, but then drinking and smoking whilst pregnant is just wrong  mad.gif

#12 Rosiebird

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

I don't see the point of starting an argument with a stranger at an engagement party. She's going to get defensive and angry and chances are you're going to create a scene. I doubt you saying something to her is going to change her ways- look at how well constructive criticism goes down on EB and multiply it by 10 when it is face to face, in front of a crowd of party guests, involving a tipsy pregnant woman. It will go down like a lead balloon.

#13 WithSprinkles

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

Agree with the majority of the PPs. I wouldn't have lectured her about eating certain foods/drinking/smoking but would have been honest when questioned by her. Something along the lines of "because it's not recommended during pregnancy".

#14 harryhoo

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:35 PM

I wouldn't have lied about why I wasn't eating certain foods, but also wouldn't have preached to her about smoking/drinking/sushi etc while pregnant. I had some friends who would have a glass of wine or a beer while pregnant but I didn't. And if they asked why, I just said "I know that people get different prenatal advice, but my ob suggested no alcohol (etc) at all while I was pregnant". Or that "I'm choosing not to eat such and such while I'm pregnant just to cut out the risk of listeria (or whatever)".

I have had people at work have no idea about avoiding sushi, pre-made salads, soft serve icecream and cold meats etc and would ask me heaps of questions when I was pregnant about why I wasn't eating certain things. So perhaps if it was a surprise pregnancy she hadn't looked much into what was considered okay and not while pregnant.

As for smoking... it drives me insane when I see a pregnant woman smoking! No excuses for that!

#15 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:55 PM

I wouldn't have lied when asked why I wasn't drinking etc, but I wouldn't have specifically told her what she was doing was wrong, her doctor no doubt has had the talk with her (well if they are a decent dr they should have) so I would assume she was more than happy putting her baby at risk like that (I think it is disgusting btw but there's nothing I could do to stop them, it isn't illegal so not worth putting myself in that position).

#16 kpingitquiet

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

You must be a very anti-conflict kinda gal! original.gif I would've said why I was eating hot foods only, and I would've said, quite clearly that it's strongly discouraged to drink/smoke in pregnancy. If she's someone you're not likely to see again after all is said and done, why not be plain?

#17 CallMeFeral

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:01 PM

I wouldn't say anything to her unprompted, but if/when asked why you didn't eat salads/drink, I'd go "because of the pregnancy" and elaborate further if asked.

#18 erindiv

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:08 PM

When asked why I wasn't doing certain things I would have just looked at her like she had two heads and said "Because I'm pregnant."

It is not up to you to tell others how to treat their bodies. You would have just caused a scene.

#19 ausmumof2

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

wouldn't have made it a personal attack on her, but would have stated that I was not doing it because I was pregnant.  That way in the rare and unlikely circumstance that she didn't know any different she had the opportunity to ask and learn, but she can't exactly take offense at your choices, when you are not telling her she has to do the same.

#20 ~buzz~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

I wouldn't have said anything to her but I also wouldn't have lied about why I wasn't would have just said I am not eating that/drinking or smoking as its not recommended during pregnancy

#21 1975ladybug

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:12 PM

I wouldn't: my sister an I where pregnant at the same time, we both chose to et or not eat different things, it's a personal choice. Information is available freely to those that are interested and wanting to take precautions.

#22 ~shannon~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:15 PM

Is this for real?

The whole time I was reading your story I thought "troll alert"!
I can understand some people not realising the risks associated with deli salads/meats, etc, but surely every woman in this country knows that drinking and smoking affects an unborn child? It's all over the TV at the moment about quitting when pregnant.
And then you said she didn't look pregnant, but later said she was 20 weeks... hmmmm.

Just sounds all too weird for me... and I'm with the majority of posters here... you should have just told her straight up why you were refraining from those foods/drinks, etc, and not lied about it.

#23 TheGreenSheep

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:17 PM

QUOTE (erindiv @ 07/12/2012, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When asked why I wasn't doing certain things I would have just looked at her like she had two heads and said "Because I'm pregnant."

It is not up to you to tell others how to treat their bodies. You would have just caused a scene.

^^^^ this.

I certainly would've answered honestly when asked why I wasn't drinking alcohol or smoking. Especially smoking. But then I am a passionate non smoker. But I certainly would be avoiding her next time.

#24 EsmeLennox

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

I wouldn't have offered any advice but when asked 'why aren't you_____? I would have said 'because I prefer not to drink/smoke/ eat whatever while pregnant'.

While the woman's behaviours are odd in this day and age (and I agree there's no way she wouldn't know assuming she has seen a health care provider even once during her pregnancy) I find it equally odd that you lied to her about your choices.

#25 Tesseract

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:30 PM

Usually I'd say don't say anything, but since she out right asked why you weren't eating ham/drinking/smoking I probably would have answered her truthfully.

To be honest it sounds like she was almost daring you to have a go at her. Cold meats you can understand someone not knowing about, but drinking and smoking? Come off it. The fact that she was looking at you weird and asking pointed questions makes me think she knew, was choosing to ignore it, and was waiting for you to have a go at her.

She sounds like a weird nutcase and I'd say the hell away.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


9 things I need to thank my parents for

You really don't realise everything your parents did for you until you find yourself doing them for your own children ... vomit catching and all.

The adventurous baby who's already putting safety first

When you're a baby, even getting off a bed and onto the floor can be a tricky procedure.

The story behind the love video that went viral

It is a quiet video, less than a half-minute long. It features no flourishes to speak of. It has no kittens doing kitten things. None of the things that often make a video go viral.

Anthony and Elle Watmough's joyous news as baby cleared of fatal condition

Rugby league star Anthony Watmough and his wife Elle have shared their joy at learning their unborn baby, who was thought to have Trisomy 18, was cleared of the fatal condition.

Win a family farmstay with Shaun the Sheep

To celebrate the Home Entertainment release of Shaun the Sheep Movie, Essential Kids and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are offering one winner and their family a holiday to a farm.

How I learnt to be a better friend

I may have lost that particular friend years ago, but I have gained so much from that experience.

What goes in the nappy bag?

It's far more than just a bag for nappies - it's the travel companion for your baby that should contain all the things you might need when away from home base.

The nature naming trend

The biggest joy of our daughter's name is that people really light up when they hear it (pun intended).

Win a Justine Clarke Pyjama Jam! prize pack

The Pyjama Jam! tour will see Justine Clarke returning to more intimate venues around Australia, creating the perfect comfy and cozy atmosphere for a PJ party.

Parents of baby born without part of his skull stand up to critics

When Brittany and Brandon Buell's son Jaxon was born missing much of his brain and skull, doctors said he only had days to live.

Baby plans are 'none of your business'

Emily Bingham had been asked about her baby making plans one too many times. 

Diet shakes to lose weight? Think again

Thinking of investing in meal replacement shakes to slim down ahead of summer?

Study offers support for cancer treatment during pregnancy

It is among the most delicate and difficult dilemmas in medicine: Should a pregnant woman who has received a cancer diagnosis begin treatment before her child is born?

Awards 2015: Vote now for a chance to win $2000

Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.

64 baby names based in nature

Looking for a baby name with a nod to nature, or one with an organic meaning? Check out our list to get inspired.

What coffee does to your body

That cup of Joe is just the boost your body needs.

Mum leaves triplets at hospital because she can't afford them

An illiterate and poverty stricken mother has abandoned her newborn triplets at hospital because she cannot afford to care for them.

I gave my daughter up for adoption - then tried to be her mum

The first time my oldest daughter called me 'Mum', she was 17.

Rainbow Babies lighting up the internet

A recent Facebook photo post is prompting widespread discussion of an emotional topic for many parents: rainbow babies.

The new wave of virgins giving birth

Dozens of young women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, it has been reported.

'It sort of became an addiction': parents buying, reselling Bonds Wondersuits

Your baby might be crawling around in hundreds of dollars worth of clothing.

Adjusting your child to daylight savings time

A one-hour difference to the day is pretty big deal when you're little.

Born too soon: life on the margins of existence

The frontiers of life are advancing ever further into uncharted territory.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



What are your favourite baby products?

The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.