Jump to content

mb nb


  • Please log in to reply
51 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:06 PM

mjbkjhv

Edited by 3Bella3, 15 December 2012 - 09:16 AM.


#2 ~Jam~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:12 PM

Don't "lie" to her about not feeling like it or not wanting something, just tell her you are following all the current recommendations on eating/drinking/smoking while pregnant.

I am sure she has had pre-natal care (hoping she has anyway) so all this information would have been given to her already and more than likely is choosing to ignore it.



#3 =R2=

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

I would have let the food choices go BUT ......

I would have said "I'd like to have my unborn child have all their brain cells healthy and intact when they're born so I'm choosing not to drink/smoke".





#4 BadCat

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

Leave her be but don't lie to her about why you aren't drinking or eating certain things.

#5 Kay1

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:16 PM

Agree 100% with Jam.

#6 jennywin

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:19 PM

Meh, like she wouldnt have known?! If she's that dumb, you as a stranger cant help her. Im sure plenty of people have already said their 2c to her.

#7 Liv_FERAL_sh

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:21 PM

Flaming heck! She was doing all of this in public and nobody had a go at her about it!?

Firstly, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but if she'd asked me why I wasn't getting a proper drink I'd probably say something like "because I'm pregnant you nong, why are YOU getting a proper drink?"

The smoking thing would send me loopy, I really hate smoking. I probably wouldn't say anything, just tsk and purse my lips and probably b**ch behind her back to everybody!

As for the hen's party, avoid her, sit at the opposite end of the table, put a napkin over your head if she comes over...but seriously, avoid giving unsolicited advice, it'll get ugly!



#8 Bel Rowley

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:22 PM

I certainly wouldn't have given unsolicited advice/opinions, but when she asked "Why aren't you having ____" I'm not sure why you would lie? Why not just say "I'm pregnant, it's recommended you drink/smoke/eat sushi"?

#9 Floral Arrangement

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:25 PM

I think whilst my heart would have been in my mouth I would have had had to say something. The woman repeatedly drank in front of you. ate unsafe foods and told you she was going to have a cigarette. I would say "I am not drinking as it is not recommended during pregnancy" same regarding the smoking, the unsafe food thing.

Why didn't your mum say something to her? Why didn't anyone else?

Edited by FloralArrangement, 07 December 2012 - 01:28 PM.


#10 Z-girls rock

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:28 PM

well I wouldnt have gone up to her and given her a lecture.

but when asked I would not have lied. I think that is a weird response.

When asked I would have said the truth "not eating/drinking xxx because it is not good for the baby" simple as that.
then it is her choice to either say "wow.. I had no idea. tell me more..." or "oh, I dont bother with worrying about the health of my baby"

#11 Wise Old Owl

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 07/12/2012, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I certainly wouldn't have given unsolicited advice/opinions, but when she asked "Why aren't you having ____" I'm not sure why you would lie? Why not just say "I'm pregnant, it's recommended you drink/smoke/eat sushi"?


I wouldn't have lied when she asked these questions either.  The food is one thing, but then drinking and smoking whilst pregnant is just wrong  mad.gif

#12 rosiebird

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

I don't see the point of starting an argument with a stranger at an engagement party. She's going to get defensive and angry and chances are you're going to create a scene. I doubt you saying something to her is going to change her ways- look at how well constructive criticism goes down on EB and multiply it by 10 when it is face to face, in front of a crowd of party guests, involving a tipsy pregnant woman. It will go down like a lead balloon.

#13 WithSprinkles

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

Agree with the majority of the PPs. I wouldn't have lectured her about eating certain foods/drinking/smoking but would have been honest when questioned by her. Something along the lines of "because it's not recommended during pregnancy".

#14 harryhoo

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:35 PM

I wouldn't have lied about why I wasn't eating certain foods, but also wouldn't have preached to her about smoking/drinking/sushi etc while pregnant. I had some friends who would have a glass of wine or a beer while pregnant but I didn't. And if they asked why, I just said "I know that people get different prenatal advice, but my ob suggested no alcohol (etc) at all while I was pregnant". Or that "I'm choosing not to eat such and such while I'm pregnant just to cut out the risk of listeria (or whatever)".

I have had people at work have no idea about avoiding sushi, pre-made salads, soft serve icecream and cold meats etc and would ask me heaps of questions when I was pregnant about why I wasn't eating certain things. So perhaps if it was a surprise pregnancy she hadn't looked much into what was considered okay and not while pregnant.

As for smoking... it drives me insane when I see a pregnant woman smoking! No excuses for that!



#15 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:55 PM

I wouldn't have lied when asked why I wasn't drinking etc, but I wouldn't have specifically told her what she was doing was wrong, her doctor no doubt has had the talk with her (well if they are a decent dr they should have) so I would assume she was more than happy putting her baby at risk like that (I think it is disgusting btw but there's nothing I could do to stop them, it isn't illegal so not worth putting myself in that position).

#16 kpingitquiet

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

You must be a very anti-conflict kinda gal! original.gif I would've said why I was eating hot foods only, and I would've said, quite clearly that it's strongly discouraged to drink/smoke in pregnancy. If she's someone you're not likely to see again after all is said and done, why not be plain?

#17 CallMeFeral

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:01 PM

I wouldn't say anything to her unprompted, but if/when asked why you didn't eat salads/drink, I'd go "because of the pregnancy" and elaborate further if asked.

#18 erindiv

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:08 PM

When asked why I wasn't doing certain things I would have just looked at her like she had two heads and said "Because I'm pregnant."

It is not up to you to tell others how to treat their bodies. You would have just caused a scene.

#19 ausmumof2

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

wouldn't have made it a personal attack on her, but would have stated that I was not doing it because I was pregnant.  That way in the rare and unlikely circumstance that she didn't know any different she had the opportunity to ask and learn, but she can't exactly take offense at your choices, when you are not telling her she has to do the same.

#20 ~buzz~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

I wouldn't have said anything to her but I also wouldn't have lied about why I wasn't would have just said I am not eating that/drinking or smoking as its not recommended during pregnancy

#21 1975ladybug

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:12 PM

I wouldn't: my sister an I where pregnant at the same time, we both chose to et or not eat different things, it's a personal choice. Information is available freely to those that are interested and wanting to take precautions.

#22 ~shannon~

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:15 PM

Is this for real?

The whole time I was reading your story I thought "troll alert"!
I can understand some people not realising the risks associated with deli salads/meats, etc, but surely every woman in this country knows that drinking and smoking affects an unborn child? It's all over the TV at the moment about quitting when pregnant.
And then you said she didn't look pregnant, but later said she was 20 weeks... hmmmm.

Just sounds all too weird for me... and I'm with the majority of posters here... you should have just told her straight up why you were refraining from those foods/drinks, etc, and not lied about it.



#23 TheGreenSheep

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:17 PM

QUOTE (erindiv @ 07/12/2012, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When asked why I wasn't doing certain things I would have just looked at her like she had two heads and said "Because I'm pregnant."

It is not up to you to tell others how to treat their bodies. You would have just caused a scene.



^^^^ this.

I certainly would've answered honestly when asked why I wasn't drinking alcohol or smoking. Especially smoking. But then I am a passionate non smoker. But I certainly would be avoiding her next time.

#24 EsmeLennox

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:27 PM

I wouldn't have offered any advice but when asked 'why aren't you_____? I would have said 'because I prefer not to drink/smoke/ eat whatever while pregnant'.

While the woman's behaviours are odd in this day and age (and I agree there's no way she wouldn't know assuming she has seen a health care provider even once during her pregnancy) I find it equally odd that you lied to her about your choices.

#25 Tesseract

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:30 PM

Usually I'd say don't say anything, but since she out right asked why you weren't eating ham/drinking/smoking I probably would have answered her truthfully.

To be honest it sounds like she was almost daring you to have a go at her. Cold meats you can understand someone not knowing about, but drinking and smoking? Come off it. The fact that she was looking at you weird and asking pointed questions makes me think she knew, was choosing to ignore it, and was waiting for you to have a go at her.

She sounds like a weird nutcase and I'd say the hell away.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.