Jump to content

Circumcision.... Yes I know!


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 Nofliesonme

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

Ok so I have DS1 who was circumcised at 1 week old and I will never ever forgive myself for taking him to be circumcised. After that day I have never looked at circumcision the same way. Any way we fast forward and DS2 was booked in by DP to be done but I won the battle and convinced him to not do it...... Thankfully.

I am looking for people who have circumcised 1 of their sons and not the other. Surely there are some? Wanting advice on what to say one day when the time comes that I am asked why? When DS1 asks why am i different to my brother and vice versa....or why dot I look like daddy??

This is not a debate about should I or shouldn't I or pros and cons. So please leave that out of this

#2 threelittlegems

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:42 PM

OP,

DS1 was circumcised for medical reasons - his whole urinary system was stuffed up and he was one of that 10% were circumcision made all the difference in preventing recurring utis. He is now 10.

DS2 has not been circumcised and he is aged 3.5.

To be honest, it's a non issue for us. DS1 noticed at school that he was different, as most kids are not circumcised, and he understands why he was circumised and looks different.

I'm not sure if DS2 has noticed yet - he hasn't said anything anyway.


#3 FiveAus

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:44 PM

My eldest son was circumcised at the age of 6 due to adhesions. His 15 month younger brother was never done. They are 28 and 27 now and I can quite honestly say that not for one single second of their lives has it been an issue.

#4 FiveAus

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Honestly, my boys never asked.

#5 Tesseract

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

I don't have sons, but this situation occured in my family. Two boys, close in age, first circumcised and the second intact. When they were little and asked the answer was "everyone is different" (kids are extremely accepting of answers adults give). When they were older the answer was "you were circumcised because that's what was done at the time, then when your brother came it was no longer seen as necessary" - again the kids accepted this. Complete non-issue.

#6 Quack Quack

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

I have 3 sons, 18, 17 & 6

My 18 year old is Circd, and my 6 year old is circed. Was a complete non-issue.  Yes, I was in the room across the hall and not one squeak was heard from either of them.

My 17 year old is not circd. he was born 8 weeks prem, and obviously was too small to be done, by the time he was 6 months old he was having apnea episodes in his sleep so it was recommended not to have a general anasthetic to have it done then.

Funnily enough, in my house it is the one who isn't done who is upset that he doesn't look like the others.  He is the one who makes the odd comment about not having it done, and wishing he could do it now.  My 18 year old, when I actually asked him if he was upset that we had circed him... said " No way! I'm glad you did it"

This is a very personal issue, not only for my family but for all others as well and I hope you get the answers you are looking for!


#7 unicorn

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:57 PM

Neither of my boys have been done, their father has been. DH's 3 boys were all intact until about 12 months ago and the youngest had to get done at 13 years. He doesn't take issue with being different to his brothers.
And honestly, what similarities are there between an adult male penis and that of a young child? There are so many differences between them that a foreskin probably isn't going even register.

#8 Soontobegran

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

They most likely will never question it.
My DH is done and our son isn't. Our son's best little buddy at preschool was done for medical reasons and DS has never asked a question about it even though they bathed and swam naked together. He is now 25 and he only just now realises his dad is done...it's a non issue and if by chance there are questions then until they are old enough to understand then you can just say that some little boys have brown hair and some have blonde.There is no need to go into the technicalities until they are old enough to understand that we society evolves and we learn as we go.

#9 Soontobegran

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:04 PM

QUOTE (5*little*ducks @ 07/12/2012, 01:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Was a complete non-issue.  Yes, I was in the room across the hall and not one squeak was heard from either of them.



Sorry but this is not meant to be a thread that is for justifying the decision to circ sad.gif

#10 BetteBoop

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:04 PM

What about a simple "everyone looks different"?

Girls have very different looking bits and it doesn't seem to be an issue. And some men naturally don't have much of a foreskin. I wouldn't make a big issue out of it.

#11 Lady Excentrique

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:07 PM

My DH is the oldest of 4 boys, and the only one circumsized. MIL told them all the truth. DH screamed for a week straight and she refused to do it again.

Its a non-issue.

#12 LB_K

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:07 PM

My partner had it done, and he is one of 9 children (6 boys). His mum has told me not all the boys are done: my partner doesn't even know which.. He has no idea. Is it normal for little brothers to get their bits out and scrutinise them and compare them? Lol

People get so caught up on the 'he will be different from dad/brother'... who in the world is comparing these things?! It is likely that even if they both were done, the size/shape/colour would be totally different too. Who cares?

If you are worried about how they are going to cope with a slight difference in their pants... how are you going to expect them to cope with differences in academics or sports or height or weight or just life in general? I wouldn't worry so much if I were you.

Edited by ladybear.kacie, 07 December 2012 - 01:10 PM.


#13 **Xena**

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

My boys have never even realised that their penises look different to their fathers.

Don't feel to bad about making an uneducated parenting decision. I only rear-faced DS#1 for 6 months and I regret that. I just didn't know any better at the time.

#14 Nofliesonme

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:57 PM

Thanks for the replies. I am glad to hear that it's mostly a non issue. Thats what I'm hoping for anyway. Thanks for the replies. original.gif

#15 EsmeLennox

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

It's a non-issue. DS1 was done for medical reasons at 6 years of age. The only reaction from his brothers was jealousy because he could now wee with sheer force and outside pee for a good couple of meters! Lol



#16 Imaginary friend

Posted 07 December 2012 - 03:13 PM

QUOTE
If you are worried about how they are going to cope with a slight difference in their pants... how are you going to expect them to cope with differences in academics or sports or height or weight or just life in general? I wouldn't worry so much if I were you



I think you are missing the point - OP's question isnt about explaining natural differences like why one has blue eyes and one has brown eyes or one has more sporting ability - but about why parents made a different decision for each child.


I havent got this issue as I only have one son - but I think I'd go with a simplfied version of the truth - we decided it wasnt neccesary after all so we didnt have it done the next time.

#17 FiveAus

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:26 PM

Well, the son of mine who wasn't circumcised has a whacking great scar from breastbone to spine, due to kidney surgery and they've never asked why he had it and the other didn't. Both very fascinated with the scar when it was fresh and new though.

#18 Nofliesonme

Posted 07 December 2012 - 06:15 PM

I would like to say that it was the wise world of EB that topped off my decision. More so a clip STBG posted in a thread. Does anyone have that link so I can show hubby why I was against it. It was one of the better videos

#19 123tree

Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE (unicorn @ 07/12/2012, 01:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And honestly, what similarities are there between an adult male penis and that of a young child? There are so many differences between them that a foreskin probably isn't going even register.



This.

I have aways found the argument "must look like his dad" so bizarre.

#20 Feral_Pooks

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:01 PM

My DP was done, his brother wasn't. His mum just says that she did the first son because she was told "that's what you do, it's better" and by the time she had the second son, she was advised it wasn't better after all so she didn't see the point.

#21 Feral_Pooks

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:05 PM

Dp

Edited by Pooks_, 07 December 2012 - 08:14 PM.


#22 lamarque

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:09 PM

DS 9 has never asked why he doesn't look like his Dad.

#23 Leee

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:33 PM

Great that it seems not an issue for most. My DS2 was done 2 weeks ago at 11 months due to hypospadias. DS1 is not done. DS1 knows but mainly because he is 5 and DS2 had to go to hospital, he wants his skin cut off he says (no way).

I will just explain that DS2 was done due to medical reasons but usually it is not needed.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.