Jump to content
I've finally just realised.....
10 replies to this topic
Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:45 PM
I'm going to have to answer this question for the rest of my life!
We have one child, not by choice (though I have NOTHING against it). My friends and family all know why but more and more (dd is 4 in April) it keeps getting asked why we're not having another. I've connected with old friends via Facebook and when they see only one kid in the picture they ask why. Strangers ask, work colleagues ask.
It's finally hit me that it will never stop.
Sorry, this is more a quiet vent than anything else, not a pity party.
Any experience? Advice?
Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:49 PM
No advice sorry but a bit of annoyance on your behalf. I can't stand it when people ask such nosy questions. I hope that people stop asking soon. Pretty rude of them, and most definitely none of their business.
Posted 08 December 2012 - 12:05 PM
I don't know your reasons but you have my sympathy.
Our DS is 5 in MArch. I had a miscarriage in April. In Feb we will have been TTC for 2 years. I had PND with DS and still some ongoing depression/anxiety? we are at the point of deciding if we go for intervention or leave it as is. It is putting a huge strain on our marriage as I suffer badly with PMS.
About a month after my miscarriage everyone at the checkout was saying that I needed to have another child. I live in a small town and everyone thinks they have a right to know your business. I have been so close to telling them that it is none of their (insert swear word) business but that then makes them curious that we may have something to hide. I don't want to share my personal business with everyone. I have resorted to 'we are happy with one, he is enough of a handful'. or
It varies on my mood. A friend who was having difficult TTC did tell people that she had 2 miss's and had difficulty, I wouldn't share this with everyone though.
You can try, 'so what your're really asking is how often my partner and I have sex....'.
I have also used 'I will when you will' - always good when it's an 80 year old lady
I do find I can get a bit rude but I am so sick of the question. Particularly when we are having trouble.
There is no easy answer. You can always try the truth or 'I am unable to have more/ I can't and I don't want to talk about it'. It also depends on who is asking.
tAke care and mega hugs
Posted 08 December 2012 - 12:13 PM
DD is a only child (two years) not really by choice...
DP is having huge problems with the drink and getting worse (verbally abusive) for that reason we cant have another.
It bloody sucks that people keep asking, mainly his side as they are all drinkers so i cant be honest. I also have scarring from my csection infection which is unknown how it will effect me carrying if we do ever try.
Sometimes people should just shut up and butt out.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:22 AM
hugs ladies and thanks for taking the time to read.I had a massive pph after dd which resulted in a hysterectomy so really, it is impossible.I have been blunt with complete strangers but it just ends up making me and them feel like sh*te.
I guess all I can do is come to terms with it and move on.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:33 AM
OP, I really feel for how the decision was taken out of your hands. So unfair.
I had 18 months of secondary infertility, which is not comparable, but it left me with a standard response on the sibling question. I used to just tell people that we got it right/got one we liked the first time, so there was no reason to keep going.
People can be so rude.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:40 AM
People are nosy feckers. Be blunt and make them feel awkward and stupid.
I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum- I have a lot of kids and people constantly feel the need to comment on my breeding habits/lack of tv/don't know what causes it/other rude stuff that has nothing to do with them.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:48 AM
Nina09 - I'm so sorry about your PPH & hysterectomy. I also had a massive 2ndary PPH after dd2. It was a close call & I'm frankly never putting myself at risk again.
For people who ask, it's normally not intended maliciously but I know it is unwanted. Perhaps a "Please, it's complicated, I'd prefer not to be asked".
Posted 09 December 2012 - 08:51 AM
I think I will end up answering this question myself for the rest of my life. I have talked myself ito having one child after knowing having any children would be difficult. I would struggle to look after two young children with my issues. So I have said to DH I will revisit it but we would be 5 years older, and I'm not sure I want to go through the heart ache and everything again. Nor the worry. But I would tell the truth and be blunt especially if they are just being noisy.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:00 AM
My answer is when they grow on trees.
Due to my disability pregnancy was really hard and I spent months in rehab to be able to walk and function again.
I want number two, and had a miscarriage last year so it is not an easy thing to deal with.
Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:08 PM
I'm so sorry to all those that experience infertility, I have no idea how you feel
Sometimes it all just sucks and I feel I hvae no one to talk to, no one who 'gets it'.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Everyone loves a personalised Christmas present - especially those which have been lovingly created by little hands. These Christmas gifts are so easy that even your toddler will be able to make them.
Our friends at The Sun-Herald are giving you the chance to win a family pass to Taronga Zoo Sydney or Taronga Western Plains Zoo.
I?m not ready for my son to stop believing in Santa yet. But should I treat him like the intelligent and sensible boy that he is and tell the truth, or should I lie, with the good intentions of keeping the magic alive for just a little longer?
More than half a million lights, countless hours of work, a world record - and it's all for a good cause.
Doctors made a shocking discovery when they found a dandelion growing inside 16-month-old?s ear canal.
Introducing the new campaign to help mums and babies around Australia.
Despite safety campaigns by organisations such as Kidsafe, the number of children dying and being injured in driveway accidents has remained steady. One mother shares her story of loss and warns others to pay attention.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Fitness blogger and football wife Caroline Berg Eriksen has come under fire for posting a photo of her amazing post-baby body on Instrgram just four days after giving birth. She has defended the picture saying she is "proud" of what her body has achieved.
A pregnant woman had her baby taken by British social workers after a forced caesarean section - and the child has still not been returned to her.
When kids want something, they'll ask ... and ask ... and ask ... until you cave in. You can teach them to unlearn this annoying tactic by saying just three words.
Babies love getting their little gums around keys - but these ones are cleaner and more fun than the set on your key ring.
Top 5 Articles
Win one of 9 LEGO® DUPLO® Planes? ?Skippers? Flight School set for Christmas. Enter here for your chance to win.
Join Essential Baby and Aldi in celebrating Chrismas, with gift guides, the truth about Santa and how to manage christmas while pregnant + lots more.
Enter for your chance to win all 12 of these Hasbro toys - including a year supply of Duracell batteries to keep them all going!
Breaking Bad, The Great Gatsby and Game of Thrones are all inspiring baby names in the UK this year ? but royal names are on the decline.
To celebrate the launch of this gorgeous new baby skincare range, Essential Baby is giving our readers the chance to win one of ten Little Bairn Essentials Gift Packs.
For a limited time you can save 50% off when you gift unlimited access to The Age or SMH. It's the gift for those you love, who love to know.
One of the world's hottest party stylists and creator of blog sensation www.karaspartyideas.com, Kara Allen is touring Australia in February and March 2014. Enter now for your chance to win a ticket to her workshop.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
Here's a selection of vintage boys and girls monikers which have traditionally been used as either nicknames or given names, from the 1880s through to the 1950s.
Free Printable Activities
Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.