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Facebook photos showing unsafe cots/bassinets


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#1 Sail to the Moon

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:55 PM

I came across some photos on an acquaintance's facebook page of their very young baby, sleeping in a cot and bassinet that is setup against what the recommendations are for safe sleeping. The baby is sleeping on a sheepskin rug in a bassinet and the cot has a plush play mat on the mattress and soft toys near the baby.

I'm not friends with this person, so I can't exactly let them know, but it does worry me  sad.gif . If I knew this person I would definitely try to approach them about it to find if they know what the recommendations are for cots and bassinets, but because I don't have anything to do with this person, that isn't an option.

So if you saw facebook photos of unsafe cots and bassinets, would you talk to the parent about it? Or would you keep your opinions to yourself?

#2 Rainbow Brite

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:56 PM

It really is none of your business sad.gif

Like you said you don't know them.

#3 Unatheowl

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:57 PM

Keep my opinions to myself.  You have absolutely no idea what the circumstances of the photo were.

#4 Feral_Pooks

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:02 PM

Sometimes people pose babies on these sorts of things for the look of it, rather than actually sleeping them in that environment. I took some photos of DS sleeping with some plush toys that people gave as presents, as a thank you. I would never have let him sleep with them normally and moved them as soon as the photo was taken. Do you think that is possible in this case? Sheesh, I posted some on FB too. I also had photos of him sleeping in his carseat and swing and got a few comments from people about that which really rubbed me the wrong way because he had reflux and just didn't otherwise sleep for a while there.

#5 LenaK

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:03 PM

QUOTE (Unatheowl @ 06/12/2012, 10:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Keep my opinions to myself.  You have absolutely no idea what the circumstances of the photo were.



This

#6 Cat People

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:05 PM

I would PM them saying something like "I'm sure you know this but being a big worry wart, I just thought I'd mention... blah"

#7 Cat People

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:07 PM

QUOTE (LenaK @ 06/12/2012, 10:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This



Why "this"?

I'm sure the OP wasn't going to send the woman an abusive message accusing her of child abuse.  I would want to know if I was doing something that could endanger my child's life.  I know someone who did sleep their baby on a sheep skin and only stopped when the MCHN said it was dangerous.  Not everyone knows the guidelines.


#8 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:17 PM

Is the person on your friend list or your friend's friend (you know how anything our friends "like" come up)? If it's a friend of a friend you could let your friend know that it isn't safe. If it's someone on your friend list you could just send them a message and perhaps include a link to the SIDS website with the correct guidelines.

#9 Unatheowl

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:17 PM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 06/12/2012, 11:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why "this"?

I'm sure the OP wasn't going to send the woman an abusive message accusing her of child abuse.  I would want to know if I was doing something that could endanger my child's life.  I know someone who did sleep their baby on a sheep skin and only stopped when the MCHN said it was dangerous.  Not everyone knows the guidelines.


Was this post really necessary?  You're entitled to your opinion as are others here. Are you gôing to take issue with everyone who doesn't agree with you?

#10 Cat People

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:27 PM

QUOTE (Unatheowl @ 06/12/2012, 10:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Was this post really necessary?  You're entitled to your opinion as are others here. Are you gôing to take issue with everyone who doesn't agree with you?



Was my post to you?  No.  

I'm curious why someone wouldn't say anything.  I purposefully did not ask you because you have stinky attitude towards me and I knew you would take it personally.

#11 steffijade81

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

I agree its none of your business really. You don't know the reasons behind the way people choose to sleep their babies a certain way and I think you would offend anyone by saying so. I know of babies that have only been able to sleep in prams, rockers, swings, carseats even one on a baby beanbag and never in a bassinet cot. I know the guidelines are there for safe sleeping but they are just that guidelines. It is up to the parent how to raise their child. I understand your worry but think it's one of those things you just keep to yourself. Obviously different if you see a child is being abused or mistreated but this is hardly the case.

#12 epl0822

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:31 PM

My friend had a cot set up with soft toys and bumper and duvet for her newborn. I recently attended a parenting course which included SIDS info so I simply shared this with her. She said she thought it was fine and wanted to leave the cot the way it was so I repected that. Her DS is a toddler and completely fine, obviously did not have SIDS or any other health problems.

Your Facebook friends didn't display a picture of themselves dangling their newborn on the 12th floor balcony. It is a bassinet! Their set up may have a higher likelihood of SIDS but it doesn't exactly pose a huge danger. If you were close enough to say something, you could possibly tell them in a very polite and friendly way. But if you are simply Facebook buddies, it does not justify you interfering. One of my friends had a photo of her baby sucking a dummy and somebody posted a long comment about the dangers of dummies. Honestly, that person came off sounding like a judgmental busybody.

#13 Starletta

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:32 PM

MC you have the cranks tonight!

FWIW OP I would say something to the mutual friend first, to see if they felt up to mentioning it. Otherwise I'd end up doing it. But I'm so freakin paranoid about SIDS that most other mothers think I'm nuts anyway.

#14 Kitty Fantastico

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:37 PM

Are you sure the baby was asleep? I put photos up when DS was a tiny baby, in his cot with stuffed toys, but I didn't actually sleep him in there. It was more to show how tiny he was in his big cot.

A few days ago I saw photos of a toddler sitting on his father's lap in the car, holding onto the wheel, neither of them wearing seatbelts. I think the car was stationary, at least I assume it was. A photo doesn't necessariliy show the whole story. I'd stay out of it personally, but if you're really worried, you could mention it to your common friend and see if they think there's reason to be worried.

#15 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:39 PM

I don't think there is anything wrong with gently saying something. I'm actually surprised how many of my friends aren't aware of SIDS risks and other modern day no-nos.

#16 Born Slippy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:49 PM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 06/12/2012, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't think there is anything wrong with gently saying something. I'm actually surprised how many of my friends aren't aware of SIDS risks and other modern day no-nos.


This. And it really surprises me how this happens, given how much information I received via antenatal classes (and the associated pamphlets and booklets), in my postnatal stay (and the associated pamphlets and booklets), in our home visits from the MCHN who checked DD's sleeping arrangements for SIDS safety and our later MCHN appointments (and the associated pamphlets and booklets, again). SIDS information was also available in any parenting book I read.

Perhaps my experience isn't typical though?

#17 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:59 PM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 06/12/2012, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't think there is anything wrong with gently saying something. I'm actually surprised how many of my friends aren't aware of SIDS risks and other modern day no-nos.


This. I think as long as it comes from a good place ie - just trying to get awareness out there rather than "I am so much better than you at parenting" then I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing it out.
I guess if you did though you would be opening yourself up to someone thinking you were being a bit nosey but if it educated someone else reading then that's a good thing.

#18 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:04 PM

I have been in this situation a few times and no I don't say anything. It's not my business what risks they are comfortable taking with their own child.

SIDS awareness is constantly pushed on parents these days. You are giving pamphlets all through pregnancy, its at the antenatal classes, the midwives go over it with you several times. I dont believe any of the people on my fb list are not aware of the recommendations.

If they choose not to follow it, I don't think a message from a friend telling them they are doing the "wrong" thing is going to change their mind.

#19 erindiv

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:08 PM

It really is none of your business and as PP have said, it might have been a 'posed' photo. I have seen people jokingly post pictures of babies holding coke cans and the like, doesn't mean they were having a swig..

#20 feralangel

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:22 PM

QUOTE (Starletta @ 06/12/2012, 11:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But I'm so freakin paranoid about SIDS that most other mothers think I'm nuts anyway.


Nothing wrong with being freakin paranoid about SIDS.  My sister died of SIDS - she was exactly 3 months old.

OP, if you are that concerned, send the person a PM and preface it with, "I know it's none of my business.  . . " "I don't wish to be offensive . . " "please don't take this the wrong way..." or something similar.



#21 Cat People

Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:57 AM

I'm really surprised at the people who say it's not your business.  Taken to the extreme, everyone was "minding their own business" when they saw Daniel Morcombe being kidnapped.

Isn't child safety everyone's business?

It surprises me too that people don't know the guidelines, but for whatever reason, some don't (like in my example).

I would rather risk offending someone than saying nothing and something dreadful happens.  I know the chance is very slim but why take a chance at all?  Saying something at least clears up any misunderstanding.

And would people really get offended at a gently worded private message?

#22 Feral_Pooks

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:19 AM

Would you comment on a photo of co-sleeping? That's against SIDS guidelines too.

#23 Cat People

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 07/12/2012, 08:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you comment on a photo of co-sleeping? That's against SIDS guidelines too.




There is research and respected health professionals who believe the opposite.  Some cultures it is the norm and SIDS is rare yadda yadda.  

I don't know of any research, or any health professionals who say it's ok to have baby sleep on sheep skin, with soft toys.  Do you?


#24 ubermum

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

Team Madam Catty.

I would have to gently say something. If I didn't and something went wrong, I couldn't forgive myself.

#25 Cat People

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:42 AM

This is what SIDS have to say on bed sharing -


QUOTE
Special note about bed-sharing
Many parents bring baby into bed to feed, cuddle and
settle their baby. In cultures across the world, including
Australia, many parents choose to share a bed with
their baby.
Sharing a sleep surface with a baby increases the risk
of SUDI in some circumstances.
Babies who are most at risk of sleeping accidents whilst
sharing a sleep surface are babies less than three
months of age, and babies born preterm or small for
gestational age (low birth weight).
Sharing a sleep surface with a baby must be
avoided in the following circumstances where:
• baby shares the sleep surface with a smoker
• care-giver is under the influence of alcohol or
drugs that cause sedation
• baby is premature, small when born, or less than
3 months of age
• care-giver is overly tired
• there is adult bedding, doonas or pillows that may
cover the infant
• baby could be trapped between the wall and bed,
fall out of bed or could be rolled on
• baby is sharing bed with other children or pets
• baby is placed to sleep on a sofa, beanbag,
waterbed or sagging mattressImportant considerations when choosing to share
a sleep surface with a baby:
1. Babies are at greatest risk if they sleep on their
tummies or sides and if their faces become covered.
Taking measures to prevent these situations will
reduce the risk of SUDI
2. Make sure the mattress is firm and the bedding
cannot cover the baby’s face
3. Make sure soft items such as pillows, doonas,
lambswool and soft toys are not in the baby’s
sleep environment
4. Ensure baby is not wrapped if bedsharing
5. Place baby at the side of one care-giver and not
between two care-givers as this increases the
likelihood of the baby’s head becoming covered
or baby slipping underneath adult bedding
6. Ensure the baby is not close to the edge of the
bed to prevent falling
7. Do not place pillows at the side of the baby to prevent
rolling off; a safer alternative is to place the adult
mattress on the floor. Pushing the bed against the
wall can be hazardous; babies have died when they
became trapped between the bed and the wall
8. As an alternative to bedding, a safe sleeping bag may
be used without bedding so that the baby does not
share the adult bedding


Not against the guidelines, just done with precaution.  If I saw a mum in bed with a young baby, smoking and the bed full of doonas and pillows, yes I would say something.

Again I ask, would someone really get offended by a gently worded message?  Like in pp's examples?




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