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Teacher comments at Prep orientation
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86 replies to this topic

#1 Peggybrown

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:41 PM

.

Edited by Peggybrown, 07 December 2012 - 11:00 AM.


#2 harryboy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:47 PM

Are they being split up next year?

#3 Peggybrown

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:48 PM

No, we decided to keep them together at least for prep. But have asked that they sit at different tables so that they can work independently. This is also what they wanted.

#4 EsmeLennox

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:51 PM

What exactly were the situations where the girls were rude?

This seems very extreme, so it makes me think two things:

a) the girls were really horrifying (sorry)
b) the teacher is far too quick to judge, and probably needs quite a dose of 'tact'.

I struggle to believe that a teacher would be so quick to make a judgment if there wasn't some pretty mind-blowing behaviour. I would however, be requesting a meeting with the teacher and the school administration urgently to discuss the issues further, and to get more of a vibe about the teacher. Perhaps you could question whether they have been placed in the right class? Would it be appropriate for the girls to be separated if they tend to 'act together' IYKWIM?

Do you know any parents of prep children in the school that you could perhaps speak to discreetly about their feelings regarding the teacher in question?

Is it a public or private school?

Good luck, that would hav been very difficult to hear, and I do think the teacher, whilst probably doing the right thing by raising concerns, has been very hasty in forming an opinion.

Edited by Jemstar, 06 December 2012 - 09:53 PM.


#5 *Lib*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:51 PM

Oh.my.god. I can't believe she'd say that!!! I am a twin and I was ALWAYS split from my sister! If we weren't we fed off each other!

#6 harryboy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:52 PM

I think I would be going to the principal and asking for the other teacher, explaining the conversation. I think it is out of line for the teacher to make an assessment so quickly. It sounds like your girls might be a bit bored if they are already reading and writing. There's a lot of kids in prep who won't be able to do that.

#7 MahnaMahna

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:57 PM

Regardless of what may have happened during the 2.5 hour session today I think that teacher was far too wuick to judge and was out of line to have formed such a strong opinion after one short session. Particularly the first session where kids are naturally more excited, curious and eager to be involved.

I would definitely have concerns over how this teacher will treat the children from now on.

#8 aprilrain

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:57 PM

By what you have written, it doesn't even sound like she gave you strategies to 'change' them into what she wants!

Obviously you're going to run this by her Kinder teacher and see what she makes of it, but I would be asking for an appointment for a discussion with admin about what was said and that you felt their teacher was already looking like she doesn't want them in her class.

I would go as far as looking for other alternatives for their schooling.

You sound like you have few illusions on the usual behaviour of your twins, but, wow, I have seen terrible behaviour by some preppies that have been in my childrens classes and I can't imagine a good prep teacher drowning their parents in negatives like that.

#9 Cat People

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:58 PM

If it happened and was said exactly like you say, I'd be looking for another school.  I wouldn't bother with the Principal as I highly doubt this would be the first complaint about the teacher.

Even if all those things were true - which I doubt - it's highly inappropriate way to deal with the matter.

#10 becstar101

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:03 PM

Yikes, that sounds awful!

I think the best thing to do would be to request a meeting with the teacher and the prep leader or principal t further discuss her comments. If there is hesitation, say you want to discuss strategies to manage their behaviour if she feels they are going to be such nightmares. You can then bring up her VERY quick assessment of the girls, and what led her to think that.

Is she an experienced teacher, or younger?

My dd is in a similar situation, her birthday is 8 days past the cut off and will be starting prep next year able to read and write quite well. She is quite an introvert, however.

I can't imagine any of her teachers making a snap judgement like that, though.

Good luck!


#11 Just Another Cat

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:05 PM

The teacher has clearly already made up her mind about you DDs. Some people just don't get along, perhaps there is a personality clash.

I would be calling the school and requesting a different teacher. I would even consider changing schools.

#12 CallMeFeral

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (harryboy @ 06/12/2012, 10:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think I would be going to the principal and asking for the other teacher, explaining the conversation. I think it is out of line for the teacher to make an assessment so quickly.


This.
And I also think it's out of line for the teacher to say they'll have trouble with everyone, and be unpopular - that is going WAY outside the scope of just telling you about specific behaviour that needs to be remedied.
Perhaps it's not too late for them to go to a different class? That teacher sounds way dodgy.

#13 Expelliarmus

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:08 PM

If I had been told that I'd be withdrawing the enrolment and letting the principal know why.

You cannot assess a child in 2.5 hours. You might have 'inward thoughts' about them but if I had indeed been spoken to about my children in such a manner I'd be out of that site faster than you can blink.

#14 Peggybrown

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:20 PM

Thanks for the replies all,Jemstar (sorry I can't get the quote thing to work)... Yes, I was totally open to the possibility of them having done something horrifying and that's why I asked exactly what had happened. DD1 had gone to the toilet and the teacher asked another teacher to check on her and bring her back to class. Apparently the other teacher went in and asked her what she was doing and told her to hurry up. I wasn't told exactly what my dd's response was (the teacher couldn't remember) but said it was rude and that when the teacher brought her back to class commented that she thought "she had just been 'told'". Now this dd can be a bit bossy and forward, but not actually rude so without knowing exactly what she said it is hard to take it too seriously. I asked dd what happened and she told me that the first cubicle she went to she could get the door to shut. She needed to do a poo so wanted some privacy so went to a different cubicle and was closing that door when they second teacher came in. This makes sense as this dd has some malabsorption issues and often has diorhea (without being too graphic this can be foul smelling and upsetting for her so she does like privacy). I asked her if someone came in to talk to her. She said they did, she didn't know who they were or their name and her tummy was hurting and she was hurrying. So that all makes sense if she was a little short. I asked her what kind of voice she used when she said it and she said strong and clear. She used to mumble a bit so we've worked hard on getting her to speak in a strong clear voice. For her this doesnt mean a rude voice as we've actually taught her that this is the polite way to talk to people. She genuinely had no idea she had been rude and had had no intention to be and burst into tears when I told her the teacher said she had.The other incident with dd2 the teacher didnt give any detail on but i asked dd2 what happened. she said the teacher told her to put some work in her backpack. She wanted to just sit it on top because she didn't want to fold and ruin her hard work (which she had been very proud of). She said she tried to explain that to the teacher and the teacher stopped her after she said "well" (she often starts sentences with 'well' when she is explaining something. Not in a rude way, more in a 'this is something I've been thinking about' way) and told her to stop and that she was being rude. A little boy had also been with her and it seems the two of them had been discussing it as he didn't know what to do with his work as he didn't want to ruin it either. My dd told him not to fold it as the wet glue on it would ruin it and that he should just put it on top of his bag too so it wouldn't get ruined. She said he was a really nice boy and she played with him at break time. When I asked her if she thought she had spoken rudely to the teacher or the boy she burst into tears and insisted she hadn't meant to. The teacher felt she had been rude to the boy but she said no and he has invited her for a playdate. So it seems he wasn't offended!
So it seems the incidences of rudeness were quite separate (ie each dd separately) and both of them had been unaware of each other's 'rudeness' so in that sense I don't think it is a twin issue. It just seems the teacher is interpreting their behaviour as rude!

#15 Procrastinator5000

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:30 PM

I agree with howdo sad.gif


#16 EsmeLennox

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:34 PM

Well that doesn't sound exactly horrifying to me. It doesn't even sound rude really. Considering at my DS3's pre-primary orientation another child spat on the teacher your DD's sound positively mild! I was thinking it must have been repeated obnoxious behaviour.

And two separate incidents hardly justifies the response the teacher seemed to have. Meeting time I think, or even, if possible, reconsidering the school altogether.

Out of interest is the teacher very experienced?

#17 Peggybrown

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:36 PM

Sorry all, I missed lots of the later replies when I was posting.
With BIG reservations we've decided to ask for a meeting with the principal. We think we'll approach it by asking exactly what the expectation is of kids coming in to prep so we can better prepare our dd's if they are lacking in some way. This was actually the second question I asked the teacher (after I had asked her what they had done) and she said we needed to stop accepting rudeness at home. Obviously, we don't think we do!! So that wasn't actually much help. And secondly we are going to say that we are concerned that the teacher has formed such a strong negative view of them in such a short period of time. Naturally she said at the time that this was going to effect her treatment of them next year but given the vehemence of her views that this seems unlikely in reality.
Thanks for your opinions, much appreciated. It's good to hear its not just us thinking is a bit OTT!!


#18 item

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:39 PM

OP, you have two options.  You can push sh*t uphill and tyr to make it work next year with a school who tolerates a teacher like that; or, you can change schools.  I know which option I would take.

Sometimes you need to be THAT parent, I know from bitter experience.  Good luck

#19 Excentrique Feral

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:42 PM

there is something wrong with that teacher...

#20 Peggybrown

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE (Jemstar @ 06/12/2012, 11:34 PM)
15137731[/url]']
Well that doesn't sound exactly horrifying to me. It doesn't even sound rude really. Considering at my DS3's pre-primary orientation another child spat on the teacher your DD's sound positively mild! I was thinking it must have been repeated obnoxious behaviour.

And two separate incidents hardly justifies the response the teacher seemed to have. Meeting time I think, or even, if possible, reconsidering the school altogether.

Out of interest is the teacher very experienced?


Exactly Jemstar! We just don't really think this is actually rudeness! Articulate, strong willed, determined yes, but rude? Not really. I equate rudeness with being disrespectful so things like spitting, hitting, swearing, criticising and simply not speaking politely. I would be horrified if my children did this and would be the first to pull them into line but our kids have never behaved like this! And that is why we find it hard to take any of the claims too seriously.

And yes, she is experienced. I'd say she's in her late forties and mentioned a number of time she had been 'doing this for more than twenty years'. It is however, only her second year at the school. We really really do not want to look at changing their school. They are all set to go to this school and changing now would be very difficult for them. Yikes, I don't even want to think about it:(



#21 item

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:50 PM

QUOTE (Peggybrown @ 06/12/2012, 10:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Exactly Jemstar! We just don't really think this is actually rudeness! Articulate, strong willed, determined yes, but rude? Not really. I equate rudeness with being disrespectful so things like spitting, hitting, swearing, criticising and simply not speaking politely. I would be horrified if my children did this and would be the first to pull them into line but our kids have never behaved like this! And that is why we find it hard to take any of the claims too seriously.

And yes, she is experienced. I'd say she's in her late forties and mentioned a number of time she had been 'doing this for more than twenty years'. It is however, only her second year at the school. We really really do not want to look at changing their school. They are all set to go to this school and changing now would be very difficult for them. Yikes, I don't even want to think about it:(


Then you need to INSIST on the other teacher.  Be that parent.  it's ok to be when needed

#22 Caseymay

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:50 PM

How sad and what an awful teacher. Definitely request a meeting with the Principal to discuss what to do. I would never be so quick to judge a child (or two  wink.gif ). I was wondering if she is an experienced teacher too. It *almost* seems like she might be trying to push you to change classes? I could definitely be reading too much into that though.

Hopefully your girls get changed into a different class with a teacher who is more capable of teaching little prep children.

#23 ~shannon~

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:51 PM

That's disgraceful behaviour for a prep teacher! It's not just a new experience for the children, it's new for the parents too... And to be told such things about your kids after an orientation day, I hate to think what she will say after even the first week of school. The only person here who has exhibited rudeness is that teacher, and I would be seeing the principal to request your children be moved to a different class.  Don't let next year be a miserable one for your twins. Their prep teacher should be a person they trust and grow to adore, admire, feel safe around and respect. I don't think this woman will be that person, do you? Good luck!

#24 annasue

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:53 PM

Under those circumstances I would not be happy about my child being in her class. I would do whatever it took to not have her as their teacher.

#25 EsmeLennox

Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:54 PM

Oh dear,  a teacher with 20 years experience should know better. I hope you get some joy with the Principal.

To the pp who wouldn't use a school who tolerated a teacher like this, sometimes schools don't actually have any choice about their staff.

Edited by Jemstar, 06 December 2012 - 10:54 PM.





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