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3yo has discovered existence of second identical comfort toy
How do I approach this with her?


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34 replies to this topic

#1 damster

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:58 AM

My daughter is inseparable from Bunny and has been since she was about 6 months old.

Realising that we needed a back up, we purchased a second bunny and we rotate them as one gets soiled, left at day care etc.

Yesterday, we accidentally left Bunny at day care so I had to bring out no 2 last night ('Someone from day care delivered it, darling') and had arranged with one of her carers to nab Bunny No 1 before we got in this morning.

Well, this didn't happen and she found the second bunny and came running to me with a mixture of delight, confusion and hurt in her eyes (ok, I could be imagining the hurt).

I gave her a big hug, said that Bunny had a brother and we could talk about it when I picked her up this afternoon.

This may sound silly but I feel I've betrayed her trust and she knows it. (We didn't have much sleep last night so I may be over reacting!)

So now I'm unsure of the best way to discuss this with her - do I tell her we've always had 2 bunnys or tell her mummy just got a second bunny in case one was in the wash. I'm not sure how honest to be.

So, she is 3 and 3 months and very curious.

Has anyone had a similar experience or can offer advice?





#2 Bluenomi

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:03 PM

DD who is 2 knows she has 2 blue bears. It doesn't bother her at all. She found the second one once and knows that she has a spare.

We tend to leave one at daycare during the week and keep the other at home so we don't have to worry about carting it everywhere.

#3 **Xena**

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

Haha when I read the title I immediately thought "Toy has a sibling"

I doubt she will be too upset about it. The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.

#4 ~chiquita~

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

No advice but DS took a liking to a cheap little stuffed dog that isn't being made anymore. We have about 7 of them in rotation. blush.gif Sometimes he carries one around and other times will carry as many as he physically can lol.

QUOTE
The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.

Yes!

Tell her you got a second bunny as a backup. original.gif

Edited by ~chiquita~, 06 December 2012 - 12:08 PM.


#5 niggles

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

Are you sure you saw hurt? This happened to us under very similar circumstances and I just quickly said "Awesome! Two snuggle teds!" and she sort of followed my lead. Then I quietly snuck one away again later and she didn't mention it again.

#6 auntpriscilla

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

.

Edited by Willoughby Chase, 08 February 2013 - 02:15 PM.


#7 CupOfCoffee

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

My daughter has two blankies (it is the tag on the blanket that is specifically the comforter).  When she found out she had two, she was stoked and insisted on sleeping with both of them.

I think your daughter will be ok, she just might not be so keen on having one put away now.

#8 damster

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

Thank you all SO much. I feel better now.

I already witnessed her trying to give Bunny 2 to other children to play with as I thought NOOOO! That bunny is not made any more - he is not for sharing!

Interestingly, I found Bunny No 2 on a French website that is devoted to helping people find lost comfort toys!

#9 kittennic

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

We did a similar thing with DS2 who loves (still!) his blanky to pieces. One time (similar age to your DD) he discovered the existence of the 2nd one and was totally stoked, and wanted to keep both. We had to convince him that one was for when the second was being washed, because he wouldn't want to be without - imagine if he got sick and they both got wet/vomited etc. He agreed it was best that one went aside for swapping. He would sometimes ask to see it, but after letting him have a quick cuddle with both, we'd put it back. It's amazing how much they love those little critters original.gif

#10 Jupiter123

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:59 PM

QUOTE (**Xena** @ 06/12/2012, 01:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.


DD ended up with triplets when she found replacement Dollys 2 & 3. Now the triplets go everywhere, however she does know that she can only take one with her whenever she leaves the house unless of course we go on holidays or a sleep over at nanna's as she must have all 3 to sleep.


#11 TopsyTurvy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

DS has 3 and yes he is now aware that he has triplets!

He also has a non matching extra teddy head avid elephant head.

He sleeps with any combination of the above and calls them all his "babies" wub.gif  however one of the triplets must always be a part of the combination and he prefers to sleep with ALL 5!

#12 boatiebabe

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

What is the url of that French website????

#13 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:25 PM

We had Tiger and Tiger's Brother.

ETA:  Tiger's Brother never made the cut, she was onto him at 2 years old, but sometimes he comes for a visit anyway when Tiger is going to the 'day spa' (i.e. washing machine).  

Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 06 December 2012 - 02:26 PM.


#14 Let_it_Rain

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:35 PM

When DS found out he has two grey rats he did end up with them both, because they like to talk to each other more than the other coloured rats.

Only one ever leaves the house and he is okay with that.

We have been unable to find both of them once and I got around it by giving DS "Mummy's very special toy" which was my first toy, for the night and then we found them the next day.

I am also so greatful that he attached to the rats more than my intended specail toy. The rats can be bought cheaply, easily and all around the world. The special teddy bears (I did get a spare) are limited edition and no longer available, so I have one away as a keepsake.

#15 Bunsen the feral

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:42 PM

There are 2 so that when one gets tired they can swap over, you can only have one at a time to let the other one sleep.

#16 Fright bat

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

QUOTE (damster @ 06/12/2012, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you all SO much. I feel better now.

I already witnessed her trying to give Bunny 2 to other children to play with as I thought NOOOO! That bunny is not made any more - he is not for sharing!

Interestingly, I found Bunny No 2 on a French website that is devoted to helping people find lost comfort toys!


Who is more attached to bunny, you or her?!

Let the poor kid grow up. You're WAY over reacting about this whole thing!

#17 Waiting4No.2

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

Its best to have a replacement and take the risk I think. We lost bear recently and don't have a back-up.
New identical bear will take 2 weeks to arrive from overseas. Bedtimes are pretty difficult at the moment.
I think my little man would be over the moon if he discovered we had two bears.

#18 Ferelsmegz

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

Hahahaha - my DD has about 20 'ruggies' after DS only has 2 and they just died!!

She'll live.

I dont think she thinks you betrayed her trust. Shes 3.

#19 whale-woman

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:23 PM

You're very lucky you have a back up. DD has been inseparable from her bunny since maybe 6 months. Unfortunately its a Target 'my first bunny' from Easter 2010. By the time she bonded with it it was too late to get a replacement though I do search op shops and have asked on EB. It has been a nightmare washing him and we have lived in fear of him getting lost. He had an accident with a hairdryer (trying to rapidly dry him after a wash) and needed open heart surgery to repair him. He's only been lost once (left at childcare over the weekend) which was moderately difficult to manage, luckily she was almost 3 when this happened. If she'd been 2 we would have had a nightmare trying to get her to sleep with no bunny.

I think the idea of bunnies sibling coming to stay is lovely.


#20 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:35 PM

DD is a blankie girl.  

I bought two, to rotate between and she was fine with the drill of putting one in the machine and getting the next one out, because it was its turn. Then we bought another - after discovering that in some circumstances, two can be unusable at the same time.

She's lost one of the originals, and the other original is getting very frail - so we've bought two more, and put our frail blankie into our special memory box for special times only.

No problem at all with rotating them. They're like friends who come for a visit. Each one is special, and a bit different to the other ones. biggrin.gif

#21 kay11

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:48 PM

QUOTE (tess @ 06/12/2012, 12:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Similar thing happened with my son, he was a bit older though. He was definitely a bit bewildered, but I explained that I knew how much he loved Ted-a-bed, and wanted to make sure there was always a Ted-a-bed around for him.  He ended up taking both to bed, and I got a third, just in case!
I doubt your dd will feel betrayed for too long, or too deeply. My son's confusion was over within minutes!


That's what we did. Now he's found all three Charley Bears... Ah well. We don't get caught out at bedtime at least...

#22 Overtherainbow

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:54 PM

DS has had a backup since he was about 2.  He has known about it.  One stayed with us and one at Nanna's as we got sick of packing it everytime we flew down for a visit and were scared we may forget it one time.



#23 liveworkplay

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:58 PM

My kids have never had a comfort toy. She is 3.5, just tell her you have a spare one in case the other is dirty.

#24 lucky 2

Posted 08 December 2012 - 08:54 AM

I'm a bit late to the party but I am still feeling a bit of guilt because when we brought out the emergency teddy, she bonded with the newer teddy and rejected the original!
I still feel sorry for that first beloved teddy and feel the second is really the imposter but who cares about my feelings? biggrin.gif

#25 knottygirl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

this actually happened to me.  I had 2 teddy bears, and my mum would give 1 to my grandma to wash and swap over.  We arrived unexpectedly one day and i found the teddy. Grandma told me that it was her teddy called huggie.  Im not sure how it eventuated, but i took him home with me, delighted to have a new teddy. I still have both, though huggie no longer looks identical to mine as i continued taking mine everywhere and left huggie at home.  I only found out the truth years later, i really thought that huggie was my grandmas teddy i just took!




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