Jump to content

3yo has discovered existence of second identical comfort toy
How do I approach this with her?


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 damster

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:58 AM

My daughter is inseparable from Bunny and has been since she was about 6 months old.

Realising that we needed a back up, we purchased a second bunny and we rotate them as one gets soiled, left at day care etc.

Yesterday, we accidentally left Bunny at day care so I had to bring out no 2 last night ('Someone from day care delivered it, darling') and had arranged with one of her carers to nab Bunny No 1 before we got in this morning.

Well, this didn't happen and she found the second bunny and came running to me with a mixture of delight, confusion and hurt in her eyes (ok, I could be imagining the hurt).

I gave her a big hug, said that Bunny had a brother and we could talk about it when I picked her up this afternoon.

This may sound silly but I feel I've betrayed her trust and she knows it. (We didn't have much sleep last night so I may be over reacting!)

So now I'm unsure of the best way to discuss this with her - do I tell her we've always had 2 bunnys or tell her mummy just got a second bunny in case one was in the wash. I'm not sure how honest to be.

So, she is 3 and 3 months and very curious.

Has anyone had a similar experience or can offer advice?





#2 Bluenomi

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:03 PM

DD who is 2 knows she has 2 blue bears. It doesn't bother her at all. She found the second one once and knows that she has a spare.

We tend to leave one at daycare during the week and keep the other at home so we don't have to worry about carting it everywhere.

#3 **Xena**

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

Haha when I read the title I immediately thought "Toy has a sibling"

I doubt she will be too upset about it. The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.

#4 ~chiquita~

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

No advice but DS took a liking to a cheap little stuffed dog that isn't being made anymore. We have about 7 of them in rotation. blush.gif Sometimes he carries one around and other times will carry as many as he physically can lol.

QUOTE
The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.

Yes!

Tell her you got a second bunny as a backup. original.gif

Edited by ~chiquita~, 06 December 2012 - 12:08 PM.


#5 niggles

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

Are you sure you saw hurt? This happened to us under very similar circumstances and I just quickly said "Awesome! Two snuggle teds!" and she sort of followed my lead. Then I quietly snuck one away again later and she didn't mention it again.

#6 MrsNorris

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

.

Edited by Willoughby Chase, 08 February 2013 - 02:15 PM.


#7 CupOfCoffee

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

My daughter has two blankies (it is the tag on the blanket that is specifically the comforter).  When she found out she had two, she was stoked and insisted on sleeping with both of them.

I think your daughter will be ok, she just might not be so keen on having one put away now.

#8 damster

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

Thank you all SO much. I feel better now.

I already witnessed her trying to give Bunny 2 to other children to play with as I thought NOOOO! That bunny is not made any more - he is not for sharing!

Interestingly, I found Bunny No 2 on a French website that is devoted to helping people find lost comfort toys!

#9 kittennic

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

We did a similar thing with DS2 who loves (still!) his blanky to pieces. One time (similar age to your DD) he discovered the existence of the 2nd one and was totally stoked, and wanted to keep both. We had to convince him that one was for when the second was being washed, because he wouldn't want to be without - imagine if he got sick and they both got wet/vomited etc. He agreed it was best that one went aside for swapping. He would sometimes ask to see it, but after letting him have a quick cuddle with both, we'd put it back. It's amazing how much they love those little critters original.gif

#10 Jupiter123

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:59 PM

QUOTE (**Xena** @ 06/12/2012, 01:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.


DD ended up with triplets when she found replacement Dollys 2 & 3. Now the triplets go everywhere, however she does know that she can only take one with her whenever she leaves the house unless of course we go on holidays or a sleep over at nanna's as she must have all 3 to sleep.


#11 TopsyTurvy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

DS has 3 and yes he is now aware that he has triplets!

He also has a non matching extra teddy head avid elephant head.

He sleeps with any combination of the above and calls them all his "babies" wub.gif  however one of the triplets must always be a part of the combination and he prefers to sleep with ALL 5!

#12 boatiebabe

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

What is the url of that French website????

#13 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:25 PM

We had Tiger and Tiger's Brother.

ETA:  Tiger's Brother never made the cut, she was onto him at 2 years old, but sometimes he comes for a visit anyway when Tiger is going to the 'day spa' (i.e. washing machine).  

Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 06 December 2012 - 02:26 PM.


#14 Let_it_Rain

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:35 PM

When DS found out he has two grey rats he did end up with them both, because they like to talk to each other more than the other coloured rats.

Only one ever leaves the house and he is okay with that.

We have been unable to find both of them once and I got around it by giving DS "Mummy's very special toy" which was my first toy, for the night and then we found them the next day.

I am also so greatful that he attached to the rats more than my intended specail toy. The rats can be bought cheaply, easily and all around the world. The special teddy bears (I did get a spare) are limited edition and no longer available, so I have one away as a keepsake.

#15 Bunsen the feral

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:42 PM

There are 2 so that when one gets tired they can swap over, you can only have one at a time to let the other one sleep.

#16 Fright bat

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

QUOTE (damster @ 06/12/2012, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you all SO much. I feel better now.

I already witnessed her trying to give Bunny 2 to other children to play with as I thought NOOOO! That bunny is not made any more - he is not for sharing!

Interestingly, I found Bunny No 2 on a French website that is devoted to helping people find lost comfort toys!


Who is more attached to bunny, you or her?!

Let the poor kid grow up. You're WAY over reacting about this whole thing!

#17 Waiting4No.2

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

Its best to have a replacement and take the risk I think. We lost bear recently and don't have a back-up.
New identical bear will take 2 weeks to arrive from overseas. Bedtimes are pretty difficult at the moment.
I think my little man would be over the moon if he discovered we had two bears.

#18 Ferelsmegz

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

Hahahaha - my DD has about 20 'ruggies' after DS only has 2 and they just died!!

She'll live.

I dont think she thinks you betrayed her trust. Shes 3.

#19 whale-woman

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:23 PM

You're very lucky you have a back up. DD has been inseparable from her bunny since maybe 6 months. Unfortunately its a Target 'my first bunny' from Easter 2010. By the time she bonded with it it was too late to get a replacement though I do search op shops and have asked on EB. It has been a nightmare washing him and we have lived in fear of him getting lost. He had an accident with a hairdryer (trying to rapidly dry him after a wash) and needed open heart surgery to repair him. He's only been lost once (left at childcare over the weekend) which was moderately difficult to manage, luckily she was almost 3 when this happened. If she'd been 2 we would have had a nightmare trying to get her to sleep with no bunny.

I think the idea of bunnies sibling coming to stay is lovely.


#20 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:35 PM

DD is a blankie girl.  

I bought two, to rotate between and she was fine with the drill of putting one in the machine and getting the next one out, because it was its turn. Then we bought another - after discovering that in some circumstances, two can be unusable at the same time.

She's lost one of the originals, and the other original is getting very frail - so we've bought two more, and put our frail blankie into our special memory box for special times only.

No problem at all with rotating them. They're like friends who come for a visit. Each one is special, and a bit different to the other ones. biggrin.gif

#21 kay11

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:48 PM

QUOTE (tess @ 06/12/2012, 12:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Similar thing happened with my son, he was a bit older though. He was definitely a bit bewildered, but I explained that I knew how much he loved Ted-a-bed, and wanted to make sure there was always a Ted-a-bed around for him.  He ended up taking both to bed, and I got a third, just in case!
I doubt your dd will feel betrayed for too long, or too deeply. My son's confusion was over within minutes!


That's what we did. Now he's found all three Charley Bears... Ah well. We don't get caught out at bedtime at least...

#22 Overtherainbow

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:54 PM

DS has had a backup since he was about 2.  He has known about it.  One stayed with us and one at Nanna's as we got sick of packing it everytime we flew down for a visit and were scared we may forget it one time.



#23 liveworkplay

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:58 PM

My kids have never had a comfort toy. She is 3.5, just tell her you have a spare one in case the other is dirty.

#24 lucky 2

Posted 08 December 2012 - 08:54 AM

I'm a bit late to the party but I am still feeling a bit of guilt because when we brought out the emergency teddy, she bonded with the newer teddy and rejected the original!
I still feel sorry for that first beloved teddy and feel the second is really the imposter but who cares about my feelings? biggrin.gif

#25 knottygirl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

this actually happened to me.  I had 2 teddy bears, and my mum would give 1 to my grandma to wash and swap over.  We arrived unexpectedly one day and i found the teddy. Grandma told me that it was her teddy called huggie.  Im not sure how it eventuated, but i took him home with me, delighted to have a new teddy. I still have both, though huggie no longer looks identical to mine as i continued taking mine everywhere and left huggie at home.  I only found out the truth years later, i really thought that huggie was my grandmas teddy i just took!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.