Jump to content

3yo has discovered existence of second identical comfort toy
How do I approach this with her?


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 damster

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:58 AM

My daughter is inseparable from Bunny and has been since she was about 6 months old.

Realising that we needed a back up, we purchased a second bunny and we rotate them as one gets soiled, left at day care etc.

Yesterday, we accidentally left Bunny at day care so I had to bring out no 2 last night ('Someone from day care delivered it, darling') and had arranged with one of her carers to nab Bunny No 1 before we got in this morning.

Well, this didn't happen and she found the second bunny and came running to me with a mixture of delight, confusion and hurt in her eyes (ok, I could be imagining the hurt).

I gave her a big hug, said that Bunny had a brother and we could talk about it when I picked her up this afternoon.

This may sound silly but I feel I've betrayed her trust and she knows it. (We didn't have much sleep last night so I may be over reacting!)

So now I'm unsure of the best way to discuss this with her - do I tell her we've always had 2 bunnys or tell her mummy just got a second bunny in case one was in the wash. I'm not sure how honest to be.

So, she is 3 and 3 months and very curious.

Has anyone had a similar experience or can offer advice?





#2 Bluenomi

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:03 PM

DD who is 2 knows she has 2 blue bears. It doesn't bother her at all. She found the second one once and knows that she has a spare.

We tend to leave one at daycare during the week and keep the other at home so we don't have to worry about carting it everywhere.

#3 **Xena**

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

Haha when I read the title I immediately thought "Toy has a sibling"

I doubt she will be too upset about it. The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.

#4 ~chiquita~

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

No advice but DS took a liking to a cheap little stuffed dog that isn't being made anymore. We have about 7 of them in rotation. blush.gif Sometimes he carries one around and other times will carry as many as he physically can lol.

QUOTE
The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.

Yes!

Tell her you got a second bunny as a backup. original.gif

Edited by ~chiquita~, 06 December 2012 - 12:08 PM.


#5 niggles

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

Are you sure you saw hurt? This happened to us under very similar circumstances and I just quickly said "Awesome! Two snuggle teds!" and she sort of followed my lead. Then I quietly snuck one away again later and she didn't mention it again.

#6 auntpriscilla

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

.

Edited by Willoughby Chase, 08 February 2013 - 02:15 PM.


#7 CupOfCoffee

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

My daughter has two blankies (it is the tag on the blanket that is specifically the comforter).  When she found out she had two, she was stoked and insisted on sleeping with both of them.

I think your daughter will be ok, she just might not be so keen on having one put away now.

#8 damster

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

Thank you all SO much. I feel better now.

I already witnessed her trying to give Bunny 2 to other children to play with as I thought NOOOO! That bunny is not made any more - he is not for sharing!

Interestingly, I found Bunny No 2 on a French website that is devoted to helping people find lost comfort toys!

#9 kittennic

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

We did a similar thing with DS2 who loves (still!) his blanky to pieces. One time (similar age to your DD) he discovered the existence of the 2nd one and was totally stoked, and wanted to keep both. We had to convince him that one was for when the second was being washed, because he wouldn't want to be without - imagine if he got sick and they both got wet/vomited etc. He agreed it was best that one went aside for swapping. He would sometimes ask to see it, but after letting him have a quick cuddle with both, we'd put it back. It's amazing how much they love those little critters original.gif

#10 Jupiter123

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:59 PM

QUOTE (**Xena** @ 06/12/2012, 01:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The hard thing now will be that she'll probably want both.


DD ended up with triplets when she found replacement Dollys 2 & 3. Now the triplets go everywhere, however she does know that she can only take one with her whenever she leaves the house unless of course we go on holidays or a sleep over at nanna's as she must have all 3 to sleep.


#11 TopsyTurvy

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

DS has 3 and yes he is now aware that he has triplets!

He also has a non matching extra teddy head avid elephant head.

He sleeps with any combination of the above and calls them all his "babies" wub.gif  however one of the triplets must always be a part of the combination and he prefers to sleep with ALL 5!

#12 boatiebabe

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

What is the url of that French website????

#13 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:25 PM

We had Tiger and Tiger's Brother.

ETA:  Tiger's Brother never made the cut, she was onto him at 2 years old, but sometimes he comes for a visit anyway when Tiger is going to the 'day spa' (i.e. washing machine).  

Edited by SlinkyMalinki, 06 December 2012 - 02:26 PM.


#14 Grant Me Wings

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:35 PM

When DS found out he has two grey rats he did end up with them both, because they like to talk to each other more than the other coloured rats.

Only one ever leaves the house and he is okay with that.

We have been unable to find both of them once and I got around it by giving DS "Mummy's very special toy" which was my first toy, for the night and then we found them the next day.

I am also so greatful that he attached to the rats more than my intended specail toy. The rats can be bought cheaply, easily and all around the world. The special teddy bears (I did get a spare) are limited edition and no longer available, so I have one away as a keepsake.

#15 Bunsen the feral

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:42 PM

There are 2 so that when one gets tired they can swap over, you can only have one at a time to let the other one sleep.

#16 Fright bat

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:47 PM

QUOTE (damster @ 06/12/2012, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you all SO much. I feel better now.

I already witnessed her trying to give Bunny 2 to other children to play with as I thought NOOOO! That bunny is not made any more - he is not for sharing!

Interestingly, I found Bunny No 2 on a French website that is devoted to helping people find lost comfort toys!


Who is more attached to bunny, you or her?!

Let the poor kid grow up. You're WAY over reacting about this whole thing!

#17 Waiting4No.2

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

Its best to have a replacement and take the risk I think. We lost bear recently and don't have a back-up.
New identical bear will take 2 weeks to arrive from overseas. Bedtimes are pretty difficult at the moment.
I think my little man would be over the moon if he discovered we had two bears.

#18 Ferelsmegz

Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:55 PM

Hahahaha - my DD has about 20 'ruggies' after DS only has 2 and they just died!!

She'll live.

I dont think she thinks you betrayed her trust. Shes 3.

#19 whale-woman

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:23 PM

You're very lucky you have a back up. DD has been inseparable from her bunny since maybe 6 months. Unfortunately its a Target 'my first bunny' from Easter 2010. By the time she bonded with it it was too late to get a replacement though I do search op shops and have asked on EB. It has been a nightmare washing him and we have lived in fear of him getting lost. He had an accident with a hairdryer (trying to rapidly dry him after a wash) and needed open heart surgery to repair him. He's only been lost once (left at childcare over the weekend) which was moderately difficult to manage, luckily she was almost 3 when this happened. If she'd been 2 we would have had a nightmare trying to get her to sleep with no bunny.

I think the idea of bunnies sibling coming to stay is lovely.


#20 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:35 PM

DD is a blankie girl.  

I bought two, to rotate between and she was fine with the drill of putting one in the machine and getting the next one out, because it was its turn. Then we bought another - after discovering that in some circumstances, two can be unusable at the same time.

She's lost one of the originals, and the other original is getting very frail - so we've bought two more, and put our frail blankie into our special memory box for special times only.

No problem at all with rotating them. They're like friends who come for a visit. Each one is special, and a bit different to the other ones. biggrin.gif

#21 kay11

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:48 PM

QUOTE (tess @ 06/12/2012, 12:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Similar thing happened with my son, he was a bit older though. He was definitely a bit bewildered, but I explained that I knew how much he loved Ted-a-bed, and wanted to make sure there was always a Ted-a-bed around for him.  He ended up taking both to bed, and I got a third, just in case!
I doubt your dd will feel betrayed for too long, or too deeply. My son's confusion was over within minutes!


That's what we did. Now he's found all three Charley Bears... Ah well. We don't get caught out at bedtime at least...

#22 Overtherainbow

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:54 PM

DS has had a backup since he was about 2.  He has known about it.  One stayed with us and one at Nanna's as we got sick of packing it everytime we flew down for a visit and were scared we may forget it one time.



#23 liveworkplay

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:58 PM

My kids have never had a comfort toy. She is 3.5, just tell her you have a spare one in case the other is dirty.

#24 lucky 2

Posted 08 December 2012 - 08:54 AM

I'm a bit late to the party but I am still feeling a bit of guilt because when we brought out the emergency teddy, she bonded with the newer teddy and rejected the original!
I still feel sorry for that first beloved teddy and feel the second is really the imposter but who cares about my feelings? biggrin.gif

#25 knottygirl

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

this actually happened to me.  I had 2 teddy bears, and my mum would give 1 to my grandma to wash and swap over.  We arrived unexpectedly one day and i found the teddy. Grandma told me that it was her teddy called huggie.  Im not sure how it eventuated, but i took him home with me, delighted to have a new teddy. I still have both, though huggie no longer looks identical to mine as i continued taking mine everywhere and left huggie at home.  I only found out the truth years later, i really thought that huggie was my grandmas teddy i just took!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Perth hospital mistakes cancerous tumour for "behavioural issues"

When Naomi Holly, a mother of three, noticed her eight-month-old daughter Nora, was having difficulty crawling and standing up as normal, she knew there was something wrong.

Piano playing dad soothes son to sleep in moments

There's nothing more frustrating, or distressing to a parent than a sick child who can't  - or won't got to sleep. 

Lucky escape for mum and bub after snake found in couch

Perth mother Laurie Rushton Dyble was sitting on a recliner chair in her home holding her six-month-old son when her husband suddenly told her to get up and leave the room.

When your partner misses the birth

While no one wants their partner to miss their baby’s birth, it can happen. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

Motherhood challenge: smug or just a bit of fun?

The #motherhoodchallenge sounds harmless, doesn't it? Some women disagree.

Who's the mum? Family photo goes viral

Last year, it was "The Dress". This year, it is a family photo that is breaking the internet.

5 easy meditation practices for beginners

So who's with me? You know meditating is one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself.

Woman to go on trial for being a bad housewife

An Italian woman could face up to six years in jail after her husband accused her of not doing enough cooking and cleaning at home.

Is the latest advice on women and drinking over the top?

While most expectant mums know to stop drinking when they’re pregnant, experts now warn women should stop drinking earlier than that. Is this necessary?

How household chores can double as a workout

If there's less than a slim chance you'll find time to get out for a jog or to hit the gym today, take heart in knowing that household chores contribute to the calorie equation.

I have no idea what I'm doing - and that's okay

Why don't we talk about the fact that when everything goes right, we may still feel completely lost, and certain that we have failed?

Dad warns of hair tourniquet danger after baby almost loses toe

A shocked father has shared his family's experience in a bid to warn other parents about the dangers of hair becoming entangled around a baby's toe.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Melbourne!

Get your ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.