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Am I being a bit precious?
Teacher question


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#1 dsk72

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:54 AM

DD started her Year 2 year brimming with confidence and exuberance at the thought of another year of learning and achieving.  Her teacher, I believe, is widely liked and respected. However, DD seems to have become disliked by the teacher (according to what DD's feedback is to me), and I can't quite put my finger on the reason why.  DD is quite hurt and confused as she loves her teacher.

This morning DD was in tears telling me she'd got into trouble yesterday and this is the scenario:
Teacher wrote a maths question on the board and all the kids were sitting off to the side on the mat with their own personal white boards.  They were asked to write the question down and figure out the answer.  DD could not see the question properly due to glare through the window, however she did her best and went to show the teacher her work.  The teacher told her to go and check her work (obviously there was a mistake).  So she went back to the mat and started again by re-writing the problem.  Before she could complete the answer the other kids were calling out the answer (something she herself has been told off for before - calling out).  So, she cleaned her board off, and as all the kids were putting their whiteboards away the teacher approached her and said (this was what my DD quoted to me several times) "Your maths is getting worse & worse.  You are going to get a fright when you get your report!"  Now, this all happened right before morning recess, and then straight after morning recess they had their end of year maths test.

I'm pretty cranky.  I thought teachers were supposed to be encouraging, or at the least constructive.  Her comments seemed to me to be aimed at eroding my DD's self confidence and scaring her about her abilities.  I asked DD if teacher had asked why she hadn't completed the task - she hadn't, nor was DD given an opportunity to explain her difficulty.

But, perhaps I'm too emotionally involved - it just breaks my heart to see my little girl's heart broken by someone she is supposed to respect and appreciate.

There's been quite a number of other incidents where my DD has been singled out, undermined or ridiculed by the teacher.  FWIW DD is a very bright child, who is underachieving, we are aware of that and have requested a class that is quite structured and organised for Year 3 (unlike this year which has been run more like a PrePrimary class).  At the same time I made the request I noted that I'm sure there's plenty of kids who thrive in the current class environment, but my child has not and requires more struction and planning.  Teacher is aware that DD has underachieved this year, and I must admit it feels a bit like Tall Poppy Syndrome to me.

Teacher has already requested a meeting with me tomorrow morning to make some notes to forward to next year's teacher, so I'll be interested to see what her point of view is.  My point of view is I'd like her to go forward with a clean slate and a fresh opportunity to prove herself to her new teacher.

Anyway, all feedback or opinions will be considered, thanks for taking the time to respond.

Cheers


#2 erindiv

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:58 AM

Wow, that's a bit harsh. I remember back to my year 2 teacher, she was lovely and sweet and encouraging... even to the most annoying troublemaking brats in my grade!

What a cruel thing to say to such a small child.

#3 dsk72

Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:01 AM

FWIW I intend to get the teacher's version of events as well, before completely forming my opinion.  However, I think just letting her know the effects it has had on my DD (whether intentional or not) are important feedback for her.

Cheers


#4 baddmammajamma

Posted 06 December 2012 - 06:00 AM

Hi Danielle:

Your poor daughter!

I think it's a good idea to have an honest talk with the teacher  -- getting her version of the events but also letting her know how your daughter is feeling. Regardless of the reason (harsh teacher, overly sensitive child, or both), it is very sad that your daughter has had her confidence eroded this year. I hope that you are able to get some answers and feel better about the path for next year.

On a different note, given that your daughter is bright but underachieving, have you ever had any testing done to rule out potential learning disabilties or other issues that might be impacting her ability to process stuff in the classroom?  It's not uncommon for learning disabilities and other related issues to be "masked" for a while if a child is bright (as their brightness can help them compensate to a degree). If your daughter has had ongoing issues and ongoing underachievement, it might be worth formally probing.

Good luck. I can appreciate why you are upset.

#5 Wigglemama

Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:27 AM

I would see what the teacher's side of the story is but you have every right to advocate for your child. You also need to be ready to hear any feedback she may have for you. Good luck with it and please post an update original.gif

#6 BadCat

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:42 AM

If the teacher did indeed say such a thing she would feel my wrath.  Utterly inappropriate.

Make sure she doesn't get this teacher again next year and console yourselves with the fact that nobody ever asks to see your year 2 report.  A report seems like a big thing at the time but it's really not.

I'd also make a note to talk to next year's teacher early on let him or her know that there was something of a personality clash with this year's teacher and that your daughter is keen to have a better year this year.

Edited by BadCat, 06 December 2012 - 08:44 AM.


#7 zande

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:18 AM

Not precious at all imo. Sounds a lot like my DD's year 2 teacher last year who didn't like my DD and made her year at school miserable. Her teaching style was woeful too, there was a revolving door of complaints to the principal, but nothing ever happens. This woman has been even worse this year apparently (I have 2 friends with children in her class), one family have moved schools to get out of her class and another home-schools her child now. If my DD2 gets her for year 2 we are out of the school (we have a small school and she is the only year 2 teacher atm).

I feel your pain. Find out the teacher's take on things, but definitely advocate for your child. It would be helpful to also have a meeting early on in the year with the next teacher to get off on the right foot. My DD has had a fantastic year with a great teacher who has really helped to boost her confidence, which was seriously eroded last year. It broke my heart to be sending my DD off each day into a miserable environment.

#8 dsk72

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:09 PM

Teacher's response to me this morning was "Sometimes kids need to hear to the truth".  She basically said that my DD repeatedly doesn't follow instructions and what do I expect her to do?

I had to self-medicate with some chocolate before continuing on to work!!!

I really don't know what to do as my DD has said teacher is going to a different school next year, however she is passing on notes to DD's next year teacher "to be aware of these tendencies".  More than anything though, I'm really p*ssed off about the impact it has had on her emotionally.

School-work schmool-work - I can help her over the Summer holidays.  She's reading at least 4.5 years above her age (she hit the test ceiling, so possibly higher) including her comprehension levels.  Her maths is ahead in a few areas and behind in the mental areas (still finger counting, etc), so a bit gappy.  BUT she only got 4 questions wrong on her end of year maths test (I THINK out of 30, so not too bad).

So my question is, do I talk to the student administrator to discuss the teacher's strategies that she's used and the impact it has had on my DD?  I really don't want to be a PITA parent, I've tried not to get involved and just help my DD where I see she needs it out of class time, but this teacher seems determined with her ideas.

Cheers




#9 Lottie*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:25 PM

i am no expert but i would say yes, go chat to them.  You DD doesn't have a voice in all of this and i find it a bit unreasonable that if this was occurring so often why you didn't get put on notice of it. You could have worked with your DD to try and improve it over the school term if the teacher had spent 5 minutes writing a note to you or raised the issue with you at parent and child conference.

i don't think "telling it how it is" is actually the current method taught to teachers in this day and age, but i could be wrong.  a tad on the brutal side and with an obvious impact on your little one.  I would be mentioning this too.

#10 Feral Becky

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:33 PM

QUOTE (dsk72 @ 06/12/2012, 06:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Teacher's response to me this morning was "Sometimes kids need to hear to the truth".  

So my question is, do I talk to the student administrator to discuss the teacher's strategies that she's used and the impact it has had on my DD?  I really don't want to be a PITA parent, I've tried not to get involved and just help my DD where I see she needs it out of class time, but this teacher seems determined with her ideas.

Cheers



I would and I have done so. Ask to see the principal.

#11 baddmammajamma

Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:40 PM

I would definitely go see the principal over something like this. That teacher sounds horribly insensitive! Do you know who your daughter's teacher will be for next year? Hopefully, you will have a chance to connect with him/her in a meaningful way before or soon after the new school year starts, so you can put some context around what your daughter's current teacher has noted.

Sorry to go off on my "please get things checked out" tangent again, but when you mention "bright but underachieving..." and "difficulty following directions"...and "behind in some maths areas..." and "requires more structure and planning," my little bell goes off. Perhaps that's because I have a daughter who has just been diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type, and all of the things you've mentioned are flags for it. There are other developmental issues (e.g. various processing disorders) that can present in a similar fashion.

Of course, I am not a developmental expert - I'm just a mother of a very complicated, gifted but totally underachieving kid. In your daughter's instance, I fear that if you attribute all of your daughter's struggles to one very insensitive, demotivating teacher (although she does sound quite awful!) you might miss out on addressing potential underlying issues.

Sorry for soapboxing, but I just know too many kids whose issues weren't identified in a timely fashion.

FWIW, I had started a thread recently about bright or gifted kids with ADHD:
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...034417&st=0

Edited by baddmammajamma, 06 December 2012 - 07:41 PM.


#12 Frockme

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:00 PM

sad.gif  your poor dd! I have a high iq under achieving child. It's so hard to keep their self esteem up at the best of times. ( it may be different for your dd).
I'd be breathing fire at this teacher and at the same time thanking my lucky stars she's out by the end of the year.
Upscale to the principle and go from there.
QUOTE
Sorry to go off on my "please get things checked out" tangent again, but when you mention "bright but underachieving..." and "difficulty following directions"...and "behind in some maths areas..." and "requires more structure and planning," my little bell goes off. Perhaps that's because I have a daughter who has just been diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type, and all of the things you've mentioned are flags for it. There are other developmental issues (e.g. various processing disorders) that can present in a similar fashion.
  yyes.gif  this describes DS to a t. He barely rates ADHD on the scale but its there.
Off to check out the other thread! As an aside, You're such a wise woman baddmummajamma! Thank you for your posts.
Best thing I did for DS was change schools to one with more form and structure. It's been a godsend.  original.gif
Lots of positive reinforcement and confidence re- building for your dd.
All the best.  original.gif

#13 baddmammajamma

Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:37 PM

QUOTE (Malaya @ 06/12/2012, 09:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
yyes.gif  this describes DS to a t. He barely rates ADHD on the scale but its there.
Off to check out the other thread! As an aside, You're such a wise woman baddmummajamma! Thank you for your posts.
Best thing I did for DS was change schools to one with more form and structure. It's been a godsend.  original.gif
Lots of positive reinforcement and confidence re- building for your dd.
All the best.  original.gif


My daughter, too, has what would be considered "mild ADHD" (and "mild ASD") but even mild means "significant impairment." So glad we know what's going on (and glad to hear that your son is doing well in his new school).

Back to the OP...good luck getting everything sorted. I can imagine how deflating this situation is at the end of a long year.

#14 dsk72

Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:57 AM

Thanks again for the replies.  I was wondering if any teachers had any thoughts on any of this???

With regards to communications between myself & the teacher, this has not come out of the blue.  I have low expectations for my DD's report in terms of "effort" and other behavioural areas, and average to above average for the academic measurements.

Teacher & I have had a meeting with the School Psych early/mid term 3.  He & teacher had pretty much decided that DD has ADHD Passive Inattentive & sent me home with a survey to fill out.  They were recommending medicating her.  I questioned whether the school psych had met, or would meet & assess my DD but he felt it would be unnecessary.  I questioned whether they would check her IQ areas in case it was simply a case of not being engaged/boredom (god, I hate having to sound like such a prat!!), but this was dismissed.  My home survey showed two areas as very mildly elevated and the rest well within normal range.

School psych said the only way to definitively diagnose ADHD was to try the medication & see if it works.  Well, I'm sorry, but with a mum with Alzheimers and a number of family members on both sides with mental health problems, we're not going to give DD a brain-altering medication to "try it & see if it works".

We can't justify the expense of $1,200-1,500 to do a full psychological evaluation when I really believe it's going to disprove a diagnosis, rather than prove one (of giftedness or ADHD).  I have been in contact with a psychologist in Perth who specialises in these areas.  She'd been doing some studies at our school a couple of years ago & DD had participated in the studies.  She said there were no red or orange flags back then, otherwise she would have contacted us.

Last year's teacher was a first-year teacher with a very full-on class (including a child with severe, non-verbal autism), so DD just cruised through.  Didn't really learn anything new, and her behavioural attributes were all marked as "consistent".

Pre-primary DD had a fantastic teacher.  A Chinese lady who had every single one of her kids' strengths & weaknesses figured out in a very short space of time.  She was very organised & the class was very structured.  DD had no problems at all in that class.  She knew exactly what was expected of her and also that she couldn't get away with her tricks.

During Kindy we had the "Away with the fairies & not paying attention.  Could you please have your child checked as we think she has CAPD?"  We spent hundreds of $$$ with a Speech Pathologist who wondered why we were there.  Speechie never had a child her age test so highly for auditory & language segments of the test (probably because her usual clients do actually need that assistance). DD was reading books & Kindy was introducing letters & the sounds they make.

My personal opinion is DD has a small element of inattention (personally I would judge within normal limits), she is no angel in terms of testing boundaries (although she has about the kindest, most generous & forgiving heart of any person I've ever met), and she is slightly bored by some of the stuff going on in class.  She also hasn't really learnt to deal with challenges - everything so far has been easy, so she is quite lazy when things suddenly get difficult.  Personally I think that learning to face & overcome challenges through hard work & determination, and also realising that it is okay to make mistakes especially if you learn from them - they're  two of the most important life lessons a child can learn.

Basically I think things began to come adrift when we refused to take the medication route.  The teacher is obviously frustrated with dealing with my DD, however, as I said it's the emotional impact that this has had on my child that I'm most concerned about.

Today (and even yesterday), she'd bounced back.  She really is quite resilient.  I just know though that to compare her self-confidence from the start of the year to what it is now, it's disheartening to see.

I think I'll leave it for now.  The teacher is going to another school next year.  And for us, next year, I'll approach the teacher early in the piece and say I know she/he's been given some notes about my DD and just ask that they reserve their judgement until they've had an opportunity to make up their own mind.  And then hope like hell that we don't need to find $1200-1500 to pay to prove she normal.

Normal is a spectrum too, hey.

(sorry this is long - I get quite wordy late at night).

Cheers

Edited by dsk72, 08 December 2012 - 02:08 AM.


#15 2bundles

Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:43 AM

Sorry OP, but I think you are in denial. So much of what you have written is red flags. Home is a very different environment to school. Just because you don't experience a big problem doesn't mean your daughter doesn't need help. Remember at home it is 1:1 so the child gets a lot more chances than in a classroom.

My DS is medicated. I wouldn't have done it, and the psych evaluation came out with Aspergers not ADHD (although there were areas he met), but his behaviour in the classroom was getting worse and I realised it wasn't just another bad teacher. The meds have been amazing and he is completing work now without constant reminders from the teacher.

I know this sounds harsh, but clearly there is a problem if the school has got the psych involved and recommended meds. They don't do this lightly.

Personally I would find the money to get a developmental paed to look at it. It took us until yr 4 to get a diagnosis and DS has been through hell at school.

#16 madmother

Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:01 AM

I honestly think people are seeing red flags where there isn't any.

Your daughter sounds like a bright kid who has had a personality clash with the teacher. We have faced this with our youngest, who is exceptionally bright but also quite challenging to deal with.

We too faced the armchair diagnosise by the school. ODD, ADHD and of course as his brother is on the spectrum, ASD.

He has now been assessed THREE times. He is none of the above.

He is bored.

Science is the only subject where his teacher challenges his mind - and from her we are told he is engaged, producing incredible work, wonderful in class.

Last year he worked on the same level as his brother - extended Grade 7 work. He loved it. This year most of the teachers are giving him the SAME extended Grade 7 work. He is bored. Has told us and them, we have had meetings, all to no avail.

I guess I am saying, speak to the school. If the psych is involved then request they do IQ testing. Our school has done this in the past (for our son at age 7) at no cost.

Also see if you can possibly wangle some time to volunteer in the class and observe. Then you can see exactly what is happening from both sides.  original.gif

#17 Lolpigs

Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:08 AM

I had a year 3 teacher who did that to me, the entire year singled me out and undermined me. My mother didn't do much at the time, aside from reassure me it was the teachers problem not mine.
I spent a fair bit of time out side the classroom door because she couldn't cope with me and I wan't that bad tbh, just alot smarter than the rest of the class, would finish my work and get bored...

I degress. I have ADHD/ADD but have never been diagnosed or medicated. To say that it hasn't affected me in my life would be a lie, however I don't know that medicating is the answer always with everything personally. I am pretty much the same as your daughter. High IQ, but constant under achiever.

Over the years I taught myself how to be disciplined and my mother didn't believe in medication so got me into things like reading, problem solving etc to help but school was never something I could ever get my head into, unless I was interested in the topics. I still went to uni however and got Distinction + for all my subjects without effort as the environment suited me better. Even now at 30+ I have days where I can concentrate and days where I can't.

I guess it depends on what you what you want for your DD. You can do behavior therapy if you think it's an issue. I guess I'm just wanting to give you the perspective of someone who has lived the life.

Btw some teachers do just suck and should leave the profession. Telling a  yeah 2 the truth" is like stabbing them with something. Some teachers attitudes really annoy me as report cards mean nothing at that age to a child's long term future. As if a small child needs that kind of pressure.

#18 LambChop

Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:19 AM

I think your school psych's approach is absolutely outrageous, to be honest I would have left the school over it.... makes me all twitchy to even think about someone announcing I needed to medicate my child given the complete lack of formal diagnosis.

If your experience is similar next year, you might want to review school choice to see whether there is somewhere that is more focused on meeting the children's needs rather than trying to fit all the students in to the teachers predefined model.

Have you tried talking to your DD about why she finds it hard to follow the rules in class ?  

The other thing you could do is some observations in the classroom, to see if you can see what the teacher feels is 'going wrong' for your DD.

#19 Cat Burglar

Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:35 AM

QUOTE (Lolpigs @ 08/12/2012, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I degress. I have ADHD/ADD but have never been diagnosed or medicated. To say that it hasn't affected me in my life would be a lie, however I don't know that medicating is the answer always with everything personally. I am pretty much the same as your daughter. High IQ, but constant under achiever.


sorry if Im derailing the thread a little but just curious how you know you have ADD if not officially diagnosed? Just asking as you have described a friends son when describing yourself and she is tossing it over in her mind what to do. What are the ways to tell?  Thanks

#20 Heffalump

Posted 08 December 2012 - 08:17 AM

Isn' it a breach of the DET code of conduct for teachers and school counsellors to provide a diagnosis unless they are professionally employed to do this?  

I thought the role of the school counsellor / psych in these situations was to encourage the parent to take their child for formal assessment by a developmental paed?

OP, I have two comments about what you have said:

Firstly, I think it would be a good idea to organiee a formal assessment for your DD - I'm relatively new at this but I do know that a formal dx doesn't always have to mean medication.

Secondly, when you find out who next year's teacher is, I completely agree with your strategy to ask the teacher to reserve judgement until they've had a chance to observe your DD for themselves.  Having said that, if the same type of feedback comes from them, it will be more of an indication that your DD may require assessment.

Edited for crappy grammar!

Edited by Heffalump, 08 December 2012 - 08:18 AM.


#21 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 December 2012 - 08:35 AM

QUOTE (dsk72 @ 08/12/2012, 01:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks again for the replies.  I was wondering if any teachers had any thoughts on any of this???

With regards to communications between myself & the teacher, this has not come out of the blue.  I have low expectations for my DD's report in terms of "effort" and other behavioural areas, and average to above average for the academic measurements.

Teacher & I have had a meeting with the School Psych early/mid term 3.  He & teacher had pretty much decided that DD has ADHD Passive Inattentive & sent me home with a survey to fill out.  They were recommending medicating her.  I questioned whether the school psych had met, or would meet & assess my DD but he felt it would be unnecessary.  I questioned whether they would check her IQ areas in case it was simply a case of not being engaged/boredom (god, I hate having to sound like such a prat!!), but this was dismissed.  My home survey showed two areas as very mildly elevated and the rest well within normal range.

School psych said the only way to definitively diagnose ADHD was to try the medication & see if it works.  Well, I'm sorry, but with a mum with Alzheimers and a number of family members on both sides with mental health problems, we're not going to give DD a brain-altering medication to "try it & see if it works".

We can't justify the expense of $1,200-1,500 to do a full psychological evaluation when I really believe it's going to disprove a diagnosis, rather than prove one (of giftedness or ADHD.)

Given that is NOT how one diagnoses ADHD I'd be extremely disappointed. Was the school psych unable to do all those test things they do?!?!?!? The teacher cannot just decide what the child has and for them to even bring it up IMO is a breach of protocol.

My experience has been that if a child is having difficulty for whatever reason they are submitted on a list for testing- noting whatever concerns the teacher or referring person has and then a team of people look at the child's academic score data, their behaviour data and what, if any medical information the family has divulged.

For example (not a real child) Bobby is submitted with notes from his teacher about work avoidance, disrupting the class and difficulty concentrating.

The committee looking at the submission discovers that Bobby has average to high academic scores for literacy, some suspensions for persistent disruption to the learning and has anger mange,emt issues.

So it looks like he's not got an intellectual disability given his academic scores, however as he cannot engage with the work and is struggling emotionally the team would most likely recommend an Ed Psych assessment, social work referral and talk to mum about seeing a paed for the anger management to see what testing the paed is able to suggest. Then at some point he'd be tested for giftedness.

The teaching team would never suggest any diagnosis to the family even if they were thinking 'could be ADHD', they would suggest a paed visit.

Without revealing too much I have been involved with several children for whom the school does almost nothing but pushes, pushes, pushes testing by the ED Psych IN ADDITION to a hearing test, a vision test and development paed appointments. If that all reveals nothing or strategies are put in place and no learning disability is revealed then the child is tested for giftedness in case that is a factor.

Sometimes the child is high average, sometimes they are simply complex children suffering from PTSD or abuse and neglect and sometimes they can't hear/have ASD/have a firecracker personality.

At no point would I expect teachers to give a diagnosis which is what has happened here. If it had been me, given what I know, I would have referred the child for Ed Psych testing and then the family would have been asked permission for a Guidance Assement which often indicates which direction to go, can reveal an intellectual disability or recommend classroom strategies to help that child. If it reveals nothing exceptional then medical testing from vision, hearing and child development are pursued.

None of this seems to have happened for you. I'd be cross and frustrated too. Can your GP refer you to the child dev unit at your children's hospital? It will be a wait, but won't cost thousands.

#22 Lolpigs

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:06 AM

QUOTE (Soccer Mum @ 08/12/2012, 08:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sorry if Im derailing the thread a little but just curious how you know you have ADD if not officially diagnosed? Just asking as you have described a friends son when describing yourself and she is tossing it over in her mind what to do. What are the ways to tell?  Thanks


20 odd years ago the diagnosis path wasn't as formal I guess as it is now. Lots of what the OP was saying school pysch, my mother was special ed teacher so her own training she saw the flags in behaviour, learning  etc.

I notice now I'm older how my brain works fantastically sometimes and terribly others, like I'm in a fog.

You can get your children diagnosed but I guess it would depend on how much it is affecting them to if I would personally medicate. I don't know if nowadays they insist on medication?

#23 eilca

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:16 AM

I am so upset for you and your daughter.  You have been let down if the teacher is waiting until report time to 'shock' your daughter.  No report should be a shock.  The student should already know how their learning is going through assessment and feedback.

BMJ makes some great points (almost my own daughter's story).  You can have a bright, intelligent child who has a learning difficulty/ disability that has not yet been identified.  As an example, my daughter was verified with dyslexia at 9.  We knew she was a bright, lateral thinker but struggled with the traditional 3Rs.  But she met a teacher this year who destroyed her, Labelled her lazy, annoying and spotlighted her all the time.  My daughter became a reluctant learner and began to hate school.

I would sit with the teacher and ask questions such as:
When did you first notice her having difficulties?
In what areas does she have difficulty?
What does the school plan to do to ascertain why she has difficulties in these areas?
Why have you not informed me earlier?

And then say you would like to explain the impact of this teacher's approach on your daughter.  Tell her how the comments have cut into your daughter's core.

Good luck, OP.  It is heartbreaking to be in this situation.

#24 Lauren Bell

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:29 AM

I would be pretty furious with the teacher for putting your dd down. But yeah I agree you need to get her side of the story.
Related but off topic: I read my year 3 report the other day - my teacher had ripped me apart over being "unmotivated" and other discouraging words. I believe teachers expect too much from children without putting in much effort themselves. They expect kids to be Lisa Simpsons.  Well SOME TEACHERS do!

#25 JRA

Posted 08 December 2012 - 09:45 AM

QUOTE
Related but off topic: I read my year 3 report the other day - my teacher had ripped me apart over being "unmotivated" and other discouraging words.


Reports sadly in many ways are very different nowadays, as has been said. Often they are so "PC" that the point can be lost.  

For instance we got DS's report, I was wrapped with it given the significant issues this year and his learning difficulties, but there is still significant work. The teach said this about rechecking his work to pick up silly mistakes, but it was so carefully written its point could have been easily missed.




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This Etsy store offers a large range of of vintage and retro-inspired pieces in a variety of sizes.

The question no mum of a singleton needs to hear

Most people ask out of curiosity and not animosity, but it doesn?t stop me feeling irritated by its tone. And it doesn't help me make up my mind either way.

8 things my dad taught me about parenting

He taught me to question, to see the world beyond my own bubble and to stand up for those who are unable to defend themselves.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

When newborn baby shoots go wrong

As the classic book says, everyone poops. But not everyone has such exquisite timing as Al Ferguson's newborn son, Ted.

When a friend's baby joy is a painful reminder

It can be difficult to celebrate other people's pregnancies when you are struggling to conceive.

Dad's amazing videos with his action hero son

What do you get when you combine a dad with awesome animation/CGI skills, his enthusiastic son, a bit of spare time and a camera?

Claire Danes admits to sometimes feeling 'trapped' by motherhood

Claire Danes has admitted that sometimes she has felt trapped by motherhood and the responsibility that it brings.

What financial abuse looks like

It leaves no physical signs, except maybe the signs of a woman who can?t eat because she has to choose between feeding herself and feeding her children. It?s financial abuse.

Man who created ice bucket challenge a new dad

The 29-year-old man who inspired the world to raise millions of dollars for ALS now faces a different kind of challenge: parenthood.

Baby girl for Scarlett Johansson

Actress welcomes her first child with fiance Romain Dauriac.

5 sleep school myths busted

There are few things that polarise a group of mothers like the two little words ?sleep school?.

Bop Along Buddies bouncing into business success

An Australian entrepreneur and mum of two is taking the children's toy market by storm with this fun bouncer.

Remembering Logan: the dangerous world of unregulated daycare

In parts of America, daycare workers are not required to have a state license to care for children. One couple wasn't aware of the right questions to ask potential carers and government officials - and have paid a tragic price.

Home alone with a newborn

It?s my husband?s first day back at work after paternity leave and my first full day alone with our baby. I have nowhere to be and everything to do.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
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What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Win a House of Magic prize pack

To celebrate the release of the new movie House of Magic, we have 10 double passes and magic sets to give away just in time for these school holidays. Enter Now for a chance to win!

Win a Dress Up Attack Family Pass

Sydney's music festival for kids and grown ups this weekend, and we have a family pass to giveaway. Enter Now - entries close Thursday 11th September!

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Mum blasted for breastfeeding on train

Breastfeeding may be legal everywhere in Australia - yes, even on public transport - but that doesn't stop the complaints, as a mum learnt.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

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For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
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Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.