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FIL in hospital
DH distressed


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3 replies to this topic

#1 Mamabug

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:00 PM

Sorry - I wasn't sure where to put this. It isn't really a vent, but I needed to get it out.

FIL had a very badly infected finger. DH didn't know this until he was lucky enough to be sent to his home town for work for a couple of days last week and could spend some time with his family. (FIL doesn't have a phone, so no regular chats.) WHile he was there, DH arranged to take 82yo FIL to the GP.

Lots of blood tests etc, and two days ago DH got a message that FIL has diabetes. DH is away for work again this week, closer to his family than we are. Tonight he got the message that FIL has to go into hospital due to the infected finger.

Something along the lines of the infection 'eating' the bone, and it has spread to one of his other fingers. While we still don't know exactly what is going on DH mentioned operating on the finger to clean it out, trying to work out what the infection is, mega doses of antibiotics in the hope of saving the finger...

DH will head back to his family tomorrow - work 'found' a few more things for him to do in the town. And I have told him to stay as long as he needs.

DH has enduring guardianship over his father, so will be kept informed by the hospital as to what is going on, but I just hate that he is m,entally preparing himself for the fact that this could well be the 'beginning of the end' for his father.

And to make matter worse, DH already has issues with the Christmas season as five years ago his younger sister was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour a few days before Christmas.

I hate hearing the pain in DH's voice, and I hate that he can't enjoy Christmas. I hate how guilty he feels about living away from his family and not being able tospend more time with them. And very selfishly, I hate that he is away from us when I want to give him a big hug.

#2 JustBeige

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:29 PM

oh no, thats so awful for your DH and you also.

I hope that everything goes well with your FIL.

Its so hard when they are frail and elderly.   It was really lucky that your DH was able to be there for his dad.

Can you guys get him a mobile - you can get 'senior' ones that have huge buttons and loud rings and all they do is ring, so at least you can contact him or he can ring 000 if needed.

#3 Mamabug

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:47 PM

QUOTE (JustBeige @ 05/12/2012, 08:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can you guys get him a mobile

We tried that - he gave the phone to MIL!!! They have been seperated for 30 years, but are still in very close contact. The best I can describe it is kinda like a marriage between two cantankerous oldies who live in different houses and don't have sex!!!

The positive is that at least we can now get text messages from MIL who is deaf as a post and can't really communicate via phone...

#4 JustBeige

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:14 PM

QUOTE (Mamabug @ 05/12/2012, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We tried that - he gave the phone to MIL!!! They have been seperated for 30 years, but are still in very close contact. The best I can describe it is kinda like a marriage between two cantankerous oldies who live in different houses and don't have sex!!!

The positive is that at least we can now get text messages from MIL who is deaf as a post and can't really communicate via phone...

Oh bless them.    happy.gif

Yes, I have an Aunt and Uncle like that.    Once they both matured a bit and the divorce was 20yrs past, they are now best friends again and definitely have a much better relationship.  My Aunty says thats cause she can finally tell him to 'nick off' and just send him home when he annoys her laughing2.gif


It is worrying when you cant get a hold of them though.

I hope things go well for your FIL.




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